By:
In: Punishment, Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking

Lion was all ready to play last night but an inspection of my weenie revealed a scab on the sore spot and a dark purple bruise on the other side. I decided playing should wait. Sores happen from time to time. We think the cage pinches sometimes when it goes on. Lion usually puts ointment on it so a scab doesn’t usually form. This time he did not. The bruise is more troubling from Lion’s point of view. It probably happened when the cage went on too. Maybe it’s the severity of it that has him concerned. I assume it takes quite a bit of force for that deep color to form. Why don’t we remember a pinch like that? We’re keeping an eye on both areas.

Against my wishes, I spanked Lion last night. I didn’t want to punish him for my feeling like a beast. I should have handled things better. However, since I was annoyed by his cajoling me into punishing him, I guess it all worked out anyway. After all, I was punishing him for annoying me about something.

I’d been worried that punishing him for my nervous breakdown would put me in a tailspin again. I was still worried after the first few swats landed. I won’t say I was glad I was spanking him, but I will say I was glad nothing negative happened. I don’t know why I was in such a funk to begin with and I have no idea why it lifted so suddenly, but I don’t ever want to feel that again. I still think spanking him could easily have sent me over the edge again.

I don’t know what will happen later on. His bruise seems to be lighter. It’s the sore spot that has us in a holding pattern. I think the spot was sore for a while before it scabbed over. I wondered if it had anything to do with my impression of a vacuum cleaner the other night. Maybe I nicked him with my teeth. Then Lion teased me about that very thing. I guess I’ll have to file my teeth down so I don’t slice and dice my weenie. A sore weenie is no good to me. I need him back in fighting shape.

By:
In: Orgasm denial, Male Chastity

Another month has begun. I’ve broken a record of sorts. I was healthy and sexually active in September and only had one orgasm. You can see my history since 2016 above. Overall, there is a reduction in total orgasms year to year. This wasn’t intentional. For almost all of this time, Mrs. Lion paid no attention to how long I had to wait between orgasms. In fact, she usually had no idea how long she had made me wait. She only started keeping track in September.

Until September I never expressed a preference either. That’s when I suggested that Mrs. Lion extend my wait past the 13 days that had elapsed after my August 31 orgasm. I asked her because it was difficult for her to get me right to the edge of orgasm during the first 10 days or so. This was true since July.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t get me off if she wanted. It was just that it would have taken a long time. I stayed on the arousal plateau for quite a while. Some days, my interest seemed to just drop off without warning and I would get soft. She was able to bring me back to a full erection without much trouble. It was odd that this happened. Almost magically after about 10 days, it became much easier to get me ready to ejaculate. That’s why I suggested that more time would be more fun for both of us.

It’s almost as much fun as ejaculating

I like the intense feelings when I am just about to come. Muscles tense up and I make involuntary sounds. My brain is totally focused on the impending orgasm. Then Mrs. Lion stops. I feel myself trying to keep going. I only have a few thrusts to get a release. I can’t. I start to relax. My breathing slows. Then Mrs. Lion starts again. It takes a little time but then I am back, trying to get over the edge. I can’t and she won’t help. This time she doesn’t let me calm down very much. I am still close when she gives me just a few strokes (or sucks). It’s enough to bring me right back. She stops.

Can the teasing go on forever?

This goes on until either I just can’t get back to the edge and start to get soft — Mrs. Lion says that’s when she breaks me — or she decides I’ve had enough. Usually, she doesn’t go far enough to break me. She just stops and sits up. Then she tells me in a sweet voice, “Not tonight.” I’m left sprawled across the bed with my erection flopping as I hump the air. It takes a little while for me to calm down. Then I return to my side of the bed. In a little while, Mrs. Lion locks me up again.

Yes, it’s intensely frustrating. The frustration grows each day she does it; up to a point. I can’t predict when it happens, but somewhere after 14 days I will return to the plateau and stop getting right to the edge. As soon as she unlocks the chastity device I start to get hard She has no trouble getting me aroused. I just don’t get to the very edge of that cliff. That’s not true. I get to the point that I feel my interest begin to drift away. I’m sure I’m done for the night.

Sometimes Mrs. Lion asks me if I am done. If I say yes, she might stop. Lately, she goes right back to sucking my cock. To my surprise, after a minute or two I start feeling more and more aroused. I’m heading for the edge of the cliff. Mrs. Lion knows I am and follows her usual routine of frustrating me over and over.

I’ve learned to like this teasing. Yes, I desperately want to come. I try humping her mouth. I can’t move much, so that doesn’t help. I know she likes it when I’m so frustrated. I don’t know how far into the future this dance will last. We know it works for at least 20 days.

Of course, I like to ejaculate. Mrs. Lion truly loves making me come. She likes my semen. Go figure, I sure don’t. Anyway, I know she likes making me come more than she likes frustrating me. Thank goodness! For the life of me, I can’t figure out if there is any particular logic to apply when deciding when I get to ejaculate. As of now, Mrs. Lion agreed it should be at least two weeks. My last wait was almost 3. I’m ready when she is!

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

What a difference 24 hours makes. I can’t promise I’m back to normal. There are still some questionable moments. But I’m feeling a lot better. Yesterday was rough. Not only was I on the verge of tears a lot during the day, but I was also feeling physically unwell. My boss was near the timeclock when I tried to punch in. It rejected my fingerprint and I yelled at it. Actually I swore at it. I wanted to throw it across the room but that seemed excessive. Then the thermometer, which never likes me, refused to give me a temperature so I wrote what it said on its screen, “LOW”, which I assume means its battery was low but I was in no mood to deal with it.

At lunch, people gave me some grief for punching back in too early. I’d come into the breakroom after them and I was going back to work before them. I didn’t care. I was done eating. Sitting with people didn’t seem any more appealing than going back to my desk so I went back to my desk. By 3, I was shot. Everything hurt. Everything was annoying. I wanted out. I was working on a report and everyone in my office area was scheduled to leave at 4. I leave at 5 but I reasoned I could make it till 4.

As my boss left, she asked if I was leaving. I had a few more items on the report and I wanted to finish it. I said I was surprised I made it that far in the day. She laughed and said she was surprised I made it beyond my argument with the timeclock. And then, for whatever reason, I started feeling better on the drive home. I know. I know. Many people feel this way on the drive home. But this was different. The physical pains were lessening. I wasn’t on the verge of tears. The sun was shining, both literally and figuratively.

Lion wondered why I was home early. He wondered how I felt. I’m sure it was as unbelievable to him as it was to me that things were better. How does that happen? Did he have a sense of impending doom when he knew that I was home? Was he afraid to open his mouth for fear of annoying me? I can’t say I blame him if that was the case. There were times over the previous few days that I was afraid to talk to anyone about anything for fear I would fall apart. Lion being worried I was silent because I was mad was only part of the story. It’s difficult to talk when you’re afraid you’ll burst into tears and even more difficult to explain why you’re crying, especially if you’re not sure why yourself.

My weenie was still out of commission last night. The spot is still sore. Humph. I would have played with him if he’d been able. If he’s up for it tonight we can certainly play. At the very least, we should snuggle. I think we can both use the closeness.

I still owe Lion a spanking. I don’t really want to punish him for something that wasn’t his fault. I’m also not sure how it will affect me. If I’m punishing him because I was in a bad mood, will I hate myself for doing it? I’m a little afraid I’ll wind up feeling like I did for the past few days. Maybe it’s silly to think that, but it was a horrible few days and it’s still fresh.

By:
In: Domestic discipline

Domestic discipline is about education. Certainly, there is a sexual component since spanking is the principal punishment used in DD. That component is responsible for motivating the disciplined husband to comply and accept his medicine. A lot of people who seriously practice DD choose to overlook this little reality. That’s fine. The reason I bring it up now is that as I think about education, allowing any titillation to enter the equation muddies things up to the point that I’m not sure whether I am involved in a very hot, if-painful game or a serious marital activity. Let me start off by saying that I do get turned on thinking about being disciplined. I do not get turned on when Mrs. Lion punishes me.

Now that we have that out of the way, there are some realities that I think makes sense to consider: The biggest one is that one way or another couples punish one another. In some cases it’s obvious. One spouse yells and screams at the other when upset. In others, it’s more subtle. The net effect is that somebody is going to feel unhappy and the other partner is going to feel guilty for doing something wrong. Guilt is the primary tool most people use to punish their spouses. It’s destructive and there is absolutely no good way to resolve the issue.

Another, even more, destructive pattern is when the spouse who is injured simply suppresses reactions and allows the feelings to fester inside. Sooner or later these feelings come out. Almost always they come out in a way that hurts both partners. I think that this is extremely easy to fall into. It’s certainly much less risky than confronting one another. It also might be the reason the divorce rate is so high.

domestic discipline may not be right for everyone, but it is for us

I’m not claiming that domestic discipline is the answer for everyone. That makes no sense at all. What I am saying is that constructive confrontation is the only safe way to express unhappiness with any hope of resolution. For us, it takes the form of DD. Mrs. Lion has agreed to punish me when I do things I shouldn’t.

All this is well and good if it were a simple matter of flipping a switch and converting stuffed feelings into painful spankings. It’s not. This is the bump we’ve run into. In a way, it’s almost funny. The other day I upset Mrs. Lion. She followed her normal pattern of keeping it to herself and withdrawing from me. I noticed and asked her if I had earned a punishment. She said she guessed I had. So far so good. We were moving festering suppressed feelings into overt action that will result in a resolution.

The next day I asked her if she was going to spank me. She said she thought she would. I commented that she didn’t seem very definite. She rolled her eyes and said that I shouldn’t be surprised. Aha! The lightbulb went on. I wasn’t the only one who needed education. It’s true that the way I receive lessons is by the application of a paddle on my bare bottom. What about Mrs. Lion?

I’m asking her to do something that is very difficult for her. I thought that just because I could identify a situation when I upset her, it would be a simple matter for her to resolve it with her paddle. That was very naïve of me. The reason she doesn’t express her upset overtly is that it’s difficult for her.

She said she was in a bad mood

While I was writing this post, Mrs. Lion and I had an email exchange. Early this morning, I wrote her an email just after she got to work asking if she had returned something that needed to go back to Amazon. She wrote back that she had just gotten to work and the place wasn’t even open where she could return it. I realized that was insensitive of me and sounded like I was nagging her. I wrote back and apologized and suggested that I had earned another punishment. She replied that it was more the fact that she was just generally upset.

Because I was in the middle of this post, I was particularly sensitive to this sort of communication. I realized that it would be easy to agree and say that I just got caught in the winds of general upset. Then I realized that it really didn’t matter. What I did was make things worse. There were so many ways I could have asked her about the return without making her feel she didn’t do something she should. I let her know that I believe that even if this was minor in her mind, it still deserves punishing. I pointed out that she has to learn to express her feelings with her paddle. She can only do that by actually spanking me when needed.

This is exactly the same learning experience we had we first started domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion selected rules she knew I couldn’t help breaking. For example, I got spanked if I spilled food on my shirt. Neither of us thought doing that was a big deal. We had a giant bottle of stain remover we sprayed on those spots before putting them in the washing machine. That wasn’t the point. The point was for her to learn to observe and punish infractions.

We both realized from the start that our goal wasn’t to reduce buying stain remover. It was to build disciplinary habits that would carryover to situations that were much more important to us. My acting insensitive, disobedient, argumentative, or condescending were at the top of the list of things that need correction. They were also things that Mrs. Lion never confronted me about. When I did any of those things she would generally withdraw. I had to work hard to get her to tell me what was upsetting her. I couldn’t find a way to resolve her feelings about these things. Obviously, promising never to do them again made no sense. She knew I would.

As she evolved as my disciplinary wife, it became more obvious to me that we had to work on this next step. I read other blogs that talk about disciplinary relationships. Most of them are pretty much BDSM games. However, some are serious efforts to correct behavior. As far as I can tell, one of the biggest challenges, if not the biggest challenge, is getting the disciplinary wife to observe and punish infractions. Even couples who have been doing this for years struggle with this problem.

is it her job to catch me?

Disciplined husbands often write that their behavior went off the rails but their wives did not respond with their paddles. The threshold for punishment seemed to get higher and higher. This was a little disappointing to discover. This most recent exchange with Mrs. Lion illustrates a key point: domestic discipline is not a one-way process. It isn’t just the disciplining wife punishing her husband as needed. That might be the fantasy but the reality is nothing like that.

The model is not the same as punishing children for misbehavior. Children are not expected to tell their parents when they need to be punished. That’s the parents job. As a parent I know it made me feel guilty when I had to punish my kids. There’s a lot of self-doubt packed into the role of a disciplining parent. There is even more for a disciplinary wife.

Mrs. Lion wonders if maybe she wasn’t in a bad mood and misinterpreted my words. That’s valid. But it’s also a terrific rationalization to avoid taking action. I appreciate her strong need to be fair. I count on her sense of fairness to govern the way she chooses to punish me. However, at this point in our disciplinary evolution, a sense of fairness is almost guaranteed to prevent her from taking action and to continue in her old patterns.

in the beginning it’s more important to act than to be fair

The simple fact is that punishing me isn’t a very serious thing. Certainly it doesn’t require a lot of judicial analysis before paddling my bottom. As I see it, there are two very good reasons to punish me: The first is the obvious one, I broke a rule or upset Mrs. Lion. The second is far more important. That’s to help Mrs. Lion learn to create new habits. As much as I need to learn to correct my behavior, Mrs. Lion needs to learn to react in a disciplinary way when I upset her.

Since she is almost guaranteed to rationalize her upset as her fault; she’s having a bad day, someone said something she didn’t like it work, she misinterpreted my words. She has to learn to avoid those rationalizations. The only way she can do that is to turn off the filter and use her paddle each and every time something I say or do upsets her. It shouldn’t matter if anything else in the world contributed to her feelings. Until she builds these new disciplinary habits, I will probably receive a lot of spankings I might not have deserved.

There are two ways to think about this. First of all, there is that sexual component. While I absolutely hate being punished, I like thinking about it. Therefore, if I get an undeserved spanking, there is still some benefit for me. Also, each and every time Mrs. Lion reacts to being upset by spanking me, she is building the same sort of habits she built when she learned to observe that food being spilled on my shirt. It will become easier for her to translate my upsetting her into spankings.

That’s only the first step. Based on my reading, no matter how long we do this, I have an obligation to keep reminding her when I need discipline. I’m not saying that I’m the only one who gets to say when I need to be spanked. I’m simply saying that it’s my job to help Mrs. Lion remember hers. This is where my sexual attachment to being spanked is very helpful. It allows me to willingly get myself paddled when Mrs. Lion may not have remembered she needed to punish me.

The fantasy about domestic discipline is being helpless and controlled by my disciplining wife. The reality is that DD is a partnership activity. It’s her job to do her best to correct me when my behavior requires it. It’s my job to remind her if I notice that I’m slipping and not being corrected. Domestic discipline is definitely an educational process. It educates both partners. I learn to correct behaviors that are destructive. Mrs. Lion learns to immediately express her feelings in a concrete way. I think that it’s probably harder for her to use the paddle on me in these situations than it is for me to accept the beating. Maybe that old saying, “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you,” is true.