By:
In: Domestic discipline, Lion's Journal

In her Post Yesterday, “Disappointing Game” Mrs. Lion wrote about the apparently trivial nature of our rules. One of our readers had commented about this wondering why we played this way. Mrs. Lion addressed the fact that we don’t have that many issues that would normally require punishment. I can count on two fingers the times I was really upset with Mrs. Lion. She and I are the rare couple who are completely compatible. It’s not that either of us is particularly patient or that we don’t lose our tempers. We don’t lose them at each other.

More significantly, domestic discipline, at least the way most of us practice it, is a combination of consensual spanking and serious efforts to correct issues. I haven’t run across any couples practicing DD who had the disciplinary partner implement punishment over the objections of her husband. It’s a fully consensual activity. In that respect, I suppose you could call it a game. It doesn’t feel like a game to me when Mrs. Lion expresses her displeasure with a paddle.

Whether the disciplined partner is male or female, he or she came into the game wanting to be spanked. Perhaps the interest in bottom beating wasn’t the primary reason for wanting DD, but it was part of it. Another significant contributor is the desire to feel control of a strong partner. I’m careful about my terminology here. I’m not suggesting BDSM or femdom. It’s more encompassing than that; at least it can be.

I’m sure if you read other bloggers practicing DD, you will find that many have elaborate contracts spelling out crimes and punishments. The ones I have read are more sexual than disciplinary. Fair enough. Ours isn’t sexual. It’s very simple: Mrs. Lion makes rules and enforces them by punishing me if I break them. She spanks me as her principal form of punishment. She and she alone decides how I am to be punished.

So far, we discuss and agree on rules. There have been a few times when Mrs. Lion has put her paw down and made a unilateral rule. The one that comes to mind is that I am not to interrupt her. Ironically, it’s the one rules she’s almost never enforced. I did not object to the rule and unnecessarily ratified it.

I don’t know if we will evolve much further. I think it would be good for our mental health if Mrs. Lion enforced rules that pertained to my behavior when I annoy her. It remains to be seen how successful we will be at this. I don’t think it matters whether other people think we are playing. Our disciplinary relationship is real to me. The spankings hurt. I work hard to avoid earning them. Whether or not the rules I am obeying are trivial or not doesn’t matter. My bottom can’t tell the difference.

By:
In: Rules

I decided to make a very rich dinner last night with chicken breasts. We had rice and cauliflower and I got a loaf of French bread. It was a very monochrome meal, but it was yummy. We were both too full to move. And then we remembered our failure of a football team was playing Monday Night Football. I don’t know why we watch. They start out crappy, maybe improve a little in the middle just to give you hope and then they fall flat on their faces. This week and last I think they were beaten by two points. See? A glimmer of hope and then they lose. Close, but no cigar.

Even if we weren’t full, I think we would have had indigestion from the game. We held hands and screamed at the television. As I said, there were some bright spots to cheer for even at the very end when they scored and were so close to tying the score. Anyway, we didn’t play or have any sort of sexual activity. We can do that tonight. I bet Lion will be horny.

We received a comment on Lion’s post this morning, saying our rules are too simple. I suppose if I really wanted to change Lion, I could come up with harsher rules. Not that Lion is perfect, but the little things he does don’t really bother me for long. While interrupting me may be rude, it’s not the end of the world. I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve been annoyed at him for more than a few minutes. It might even be two fingers. The point is, he doesn’t do anything that reaches the level of needing to punish him.

I know I said I’d try to punish him for interrupting, and I will. And, let’s face it, our FLR is mostly a game we play. It makes sense to have inconsequential rules. Those rules were meant to be easily broken and easily observed. They hang on because they’re really the only rules I’ve made up. What other rules should I make? He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up because we always close the lid. He doesn’t leave clothes laying all over the place. He rarely wears them. I’ve been trying to come up with new rules. And I’ll keep trying. For now, he’ll stay in kindergarten.

By:
In: Punishment, Domestic discipline, Female led relationship with discipline
a good starter paddle for her

Whenever I talk about our disciplinary relationship, I like to frame it in a BDSM sort of setting. It’s much more fun to be a “bad boy” than it is to think about things the way they really are.

I forgot to tell Mrs. Lion that Saturday was punishment day. One of my rules is to remind her of our punishment days. They are Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. I have until 8:30 PM on the day to remind her. Failing results in punishment.

Admittedly, our rules aren’t very important. They represent our disciplinary training wheels. For example, I’m required to prepare the coffee pot every day so that in the morning it’s ready to go. I am not to eat before Mrs. Lion begins. I have to avoid spilling food on my shirt. Mrs. Lion established these rules four years ago. They’ve served us well. Because they don’t represent serious problems that need correcting, it’s easy to use them to work out how domestic discipline fits into our marriage.

There has been a lot of experimentation. I asked Mrs. Lion to be more femdom about punishing me. That didn’t work at all. It’s just not what Mrs. Lion likes to do. It also felt a little silly to me. Most importantly, it distracted me from the reason I was being punished. Over the years, Mrs. Lion has established a style that is both effective and sustainable.

I had no real input into this. That makes sense, since she owns the role of disciplinarian. What happens now is that when she observes or remembers that I broke a rule, she’ll simply tell me. For example, on Sunday she said, “You didn’t remind me that Saturday was punishment day.”

My spanking pillow. It raises my butt and when on the edge of the bed, makes me high enough so my feet don’t touch the floor.

She was right. I hadn’t. I told her that I forgot. She told me that she forgot too, but she doesn’t get punished when she forgets. I agreed. In her Sunday post, she commented that she planned to punish me later in the day before she gave me a haircut. Sure enough, in the middle of the afternoon, she went out of the bedroom and came back carrying my spanking pillow. This is a very firm triangular pillow that raises me higher from the bed and bends me in a good position for spanking.

I saw her bring it in. She didn’t say a word. I got up and positioned myself over the pillow on the edge of the bed. Without a word, she began spanking me. About halfway through the spanking, she said, “You forgot to remind me yesterday was spanking day.”

“I know,” I said. I was glad for the short break from being swatted. Then, without another word she went back to work with her paddle. I don’t know how long she continued, but I spent the entire time screaming into the comforter. When she stopped, she said, “that’s enough.”

I got up and she put the spanking pillow away. That was it. This may seem rather cold and not what you might imagine our FLRD is like. It certainly isn’t the way I imagined it when we began. If you think about it, this is a very sane model for domestic discipline. After all, we don’t need a brass band to announce every time I break a rule. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to dress up in her leather outfit and give me a long lecture on why I should remember punishment days. She doesn’t need to have a large collection of striking implements at her side when she spanks me.

All that is just kink and fetish stuff. I like all that stuff. But this isn’t about what I like. Mrs. Lion has established a very simple, easy-to-understand cause and effect relationship between displeasing her and a painful session with her paddle. It’s simple enough so that even I can understand it. Break a rule, get a sore bottom. That’s all I need to know.

expanding my rules

For a long time, we have been discussing expanding my rules. I suggested that perhaps Mrs. Lion could enforce behavioral changes she would like to see. She hates it when I interrupt. She’s also very unhappy when I act like a know-it-all. She’s had a difficult time enforcing those two behavioral rules.

There’s a good reason for this. Things like becoming annoyed if I interrupt can be affected by other things going on in her life. For example, she’s much more likely to be annoyed at an interruption on the day when people at work and been giving her grief. She’s reasoned that is not fair to punish me for things other people did. I agree. But it leaves us unable to make the next step.

Other couples practicing domestic discipline generally enforce behavioral rules that are far less subtle. Things like drinking too much, staying out with the boys too late, or disregarding domestic duties. We have the last item covered. But I don’t drink, or go out with the boys, or come home from work too late. What I do is more subjective.

I suggested that Mrs. Lion pick a couple of behavioral items to enforce the same way she does my other rules. She agreed that would be a good idea. It stopped there. I think that interrupting and being a know-it-all are two easy-to-identify behavioral issues. Perhaps Mrs. Lion and I cooperate in terms of identifying times I do these things. I also suggest that we agree that every time I do them, I am punished the same way I am when I break other rules.

Since my other rules are rather trivial in nature, it isn’t a big stretch to suggest that punishing me for interrupting, even if Mrs. Lion is pissed off about work, isn’t really a big deal. After all, I get punished for forgetting to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is punishment day. I’m convinced that once she makes the connection between behavioral infractions and punishment, it will become the same sort of cause-and-effect disciplinary activity she does when I forget to set up the coffee pot.

It may seem odd that I’m writing about this. The simple fact is that our disciplinary relationship depends on both of us designing it. Obviously, Mrs. Lion has the final say. We both know that this is new territory for us. So far, we’ve been successful with this model. Trust me, it isn’t topping from the bottom. I help Mrs. Lion figure out next steps. I confess when I break a rule. It doesn’t take long before the extent of my participation is limited to getting into position over my spanking pillow to receive a punishment I’ve earned.

We’ve come a long way. Thank you Mrs. Lion!

By:
In: BDSM, Erections

Lion got his punishment spanking yesterday afternoon and then he got his haircut. I didn’t shave his head. I was just as careful this time as I was last time and he said it looked good. Excellent answer. I mowed the lawn for the last time this year. I was tired afterward but managed to do everything I needed to do, except for the last load of laundry. I can’t figure out how I could start the laundry in the morning and still have the last load sitting in there at 10 pm. In my defense, we started watching the Apple TV series Brave New World and I snoozed a bit so I think that threw my day off.

It was around 9 when I asked Lion if he wanted some attention. He’d hinted at it while we were eating dinner. He doesn’t usually turn down attention anyway. He took a little bit to get hard, but I didn’t think anything of it. I looked for my rope to tie his balls up before we started. I thought maybe he was taking longer because we don’t play before I suck him. He didn’t need it for the most part, but just before his orgasm, it was taking him longer.

Eventually (it was less than five minutes), Lion got hard and we were rolling along when he seemed to lose it. No problem. I can usually entice him into getting hard again. Then he said he thought he was done. He didn’t know why. I said it was only two days after his orgasm. He said he thought it was the big dinner we’d eaten. It could also be that he needs some playtime. I’ll have to look for the rope again. I was sore from mowing the lawn so I didn’t do an exhaustive search. I will tonight.

Lion will either get his balls tied up or I’ll bring out the clothespins. Maybe we need to bring out the Box o’ Fun again. But then he might get something evil. I predict he will opt for the rope.