By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

One of Lion’s favorite shows is “Everybody Loves Raymond”. We were watching it the other day and he bought a sex game to play with his wife. He was concerned with all the squares involved with sex. She liked the squares that involved communication and feelings. As they played it came out that she was less than satisfied with his lovemaking. Apparently they varied the foreplay, but the actual sex was the same every time. He wondered why she never told him in all the time they’d been married. She was embarrassed, but asked if he couldn’t figure it out. Then he countered with why she couldn’t figure out that he wasn’t figuring it out. Long story short (too late), they weren’t communicating.

I admire Lion for communicating to me that what he thought he wanted was not really what he wanted. He asked for earlier play and sex, but that wasn’t really what he needed. Or maybe it wasn’t all he needed. By letting me know, I can adjust things so he gets what he needs.

lion in thong panties

For the record, I didn’t feel stressed or hurried by the earlier time. I had no idea I was rushing him. I thought I was doing things the way we always did, but a few hours sooner. Maybe that’s part of the problem too. Maybe I was rushing then too. I didn’t think I was, but maybe that’s how Lion perceived it. Now I’m wondering if I’ve been playing the role of the stereotypical guy for a long time. I swoop in, get him excited, do my thing and we’re done. I’ve got to get back to watching sports or doze off. Has he gotten all “girly” on me, wanting snuggles and a long lead up to the moment? Who wears the panties in the family? [Lion — I do when told.]

R6I’m kidding, of course. But it got me wondering if, by turning into 3.0, I’ve somehow gotten away from the regular snuggly foreplay we used to do. At one point, Lion said that was too vanilla and he needed bondage and spanking, etc. but maybe I went overboard in the other direction. I started righting the ship last night. I just need to figure out how to balance things out.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

This may sound completely crazy but now that Mrs. Lion is trying to play with me earlier in the day, I’m having some trouble. For the last couple of days, Mrs. Lion has approached me and either asked me if I want to play or just starts doing something, like tying my balls. I don’t find myself responding the way I expected. When she asks me, I generally say no. She is doing exactly what I asked and it’s not working for me.

It’s not that I’m not interested in sex at 5 PM. I’m interested in sex pretty much any time of day except within about an hour of waking up in the morning. I’m absolutely useless when it comes to morning sex. My problem might be the abrupt nature of Mrs. Lion’s approach. Does that make sense? I get the feeling that she assumes I have a sexual switch that turns on at her first approach. That might’ve been the case years ago, but now I seem to want more warmup.

I noticed this when she decided to use the tiny, dollhouse clothespins on the head of my penis. She got the clothespins, sat down next to me, played with my soft penis until it started to get hard, and then went to work with the very painful toys. I hated it. In fairness, I’m never very fond of those very painful little monsters. This was different. I didn’t feel ready. That may not be the right word. I hadn’t fully changed mental gears to focus on sexual activity. I think this is the issue with our earlier playtime.

At night, when Mrs. Lion is relaxing and playing with her iPad, I will frequently feel impatient that she isn’t interested in sexual activity. I realize she has a different perspective on this, but that’s how it feels to me. My impatience is a signal that I’m ready. Obviously, I’ve been thinking about sex. At the late hour, I’m frequently not very good at following through. But that’s not the point; I’m mentally prepared.

Oh boy, I’m starting to sound like a stereotypical wife. You know, “You can’t just start groping me. I need to be in the mood first.” I’ve heard that before and I never thought I would actually be saying it myself. Mrs. Lion has complained over the years that I sometimes, often, would just start playing with her pussy. She said that she needed to be more in the mood first. Holy crap! Guess what? Me too!

I’m not sure that my need to have my focus changed is the same as hers when she was interested in sex. But it’s very similar. As she’s pointed out in the past, I like anticipating what will be coming later in the day. When she writes that I will get Icy Hot on my balls, I do feel the excitement. I absolutely hate it when she does it, but I can’t help felling aroused. However, that’s the main event. We still need the overture and perhaps a first act before it begins.

I’m not saying I want mushy stuff, you know, hugging kissing. However, I would never turn that down. Maybe I need a slower approach. Perhaps rubbing the inside of my thighs or, if accessible, my bottom. I’m starting to sound like Masters and Johnson. Sheesh! But it’s true, non-genital stimulation is important for me too. Mrs. Lion seems to think that simply getting me hard is sufficient warm-up. It’s certainly a good start but it isn’t.

Masturbating me and rubbing my balls, for example, can work very well to focus me. Until very recently, I didn’t realize that my erection isn’t a reliable signal I’m ready for more. Certainly, it’s a sexual, physical reaction. On its own, it isn’t signal that I’m ready for the main event.

As Mrs. Lion knows, it’s frequently very difficult to get me to the edge of orgasm. As I’ve gotten older, it seems to be more difficult to get me to the excitement plateau. This is the point in male arousal when he is very hard and excited. It doesn’t necessarily signal that ejaculation is imminent, but reliably indicates he wants to get there.

When we played in the past, Mrs. Lion usually made sure I’m was on that plateau before she begins applying Icy Hot or nasty, little clothespins. I’m not sure why, but recently she seems to be in a hurry; at least that’s how it feels to me. I realize that our situation is fairly unique. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have her own arousal to use as an indicator when it’s time to escalate the activity. She has to rely solely on my arousal.

It could be that she feels some pressure to get through the sexual activity at 5 PM. It could be that by moving my stimulation up on her schedule, it becomes something she needs to complete as quickly as she can. As she has to know from her own experience, that’s not a great way to approach sex. I’m sure she doesn’t think of it that way. This is my perception. However, I’m sure she’s thinking about making dinner and finally getting to unwind.

Even if it means pushing sex out to later in the evening, it’s clear to me that she has to unwind before she can take the time it takes to make sex work for me. I’m a little surprised that neither of us thought of this sooner. Even though she doesn’t get any sexual pleasure out of it, Mrs. Lion needs to be in the mood to provide me with sex. When she tries to do it as a service before she is physically and emotionally ready, it doesn’t work for either of us.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment

We had a busy weekend. We made pickles and jam. I waxed Lion. I repaired the freezer. And then, in my spare time, I did other chores. I got a lot done but there’s always more to do.

One thing I didn’t do is Lion. Around 5 Lion was busy on his computer. Apparently it takes a lot of work to make our posts talk to you. He’s always looking for ways to improve the site. I see the necessity if you’re visually impaired, but otherwise I don’t like it. I know there have been amazing advances in text to speech software, but the voices distract me from what they’re saying. Maybe that’s just because when I write, it’s my voice in my head saying everything. But you don’t know my voice, so the computer voice is fine. (I know. I’m weird.)

Anyway, for whatever reason, and he doesn’t need to give me one, Lion was not in the mood for play. I know he was tired because he snoozed a lot while watching television. As he snoozed, I was on my iPad. From time to time, he’d wake up and look at me. I’m never sure if he’s looking to verify that I’m there or if he’s trying to see what I’m doing. He tells me I’m on my iPad too much and I don’t pay attention to him, but if he’s snoozing isn’t he ignoring me too? I don’t mind if he sleeps. The only thing that concerns me is that he might be up all night. And if he’s up all night, he’ll be watching TV and then I’ll be up too even if it is only for a minute at a time. I don’t think he was up last night. I took a sleeping pill and some Tylenol so I was out. I don’t think I woke up until the alarm went off.

Lion has suggested maintenance spankings again. I thought we already decided they don’t work. However, we can get around that. If he insists on maintenance spankings, I’ll get annoyed and alakazam! he’s earned himself a spanking. It’s magic. I can’t see doing a spanking just for the sake of doing a spanking. I’m talking punishment, of course. If Lion wants a play spanking he can always ask. But he wants to keep us in practice for punishments. Sort of like batting practice, I guess.

On the other hand, if I add up all the annoyances in any given day, I bet I could come up with enough for a punishment. Waxing the lion. Check. Being the one who actually makes the pickles because Lion can’t see. Check. (This sounds mean. I don’t intend it that way. It’s an annoyance because Lion starts out saying, “I’m going to make pickles” and then I wind up doing most of it. Semantics. It’s a given that I’ll help but it would be better if he said, “Let’s make pickles” and then took a supervisory role when he needed to.) Fixing the freezer. Check.

It definitely depends on how much I have on my plate. Lots of chores and then the extras thrown in are bound to annoy me. If I have to revisit things over and over again, I’ll be annoyed. I made many trips to the camper trying to figure out the fridge issue. I had an idea of how to diagnose it, but Lion didn’t like it so I had to make more trips. In the end, we did what I suggested. Annoying.

So I really don’t know if maintenance spankings will work. I don’t really want to keep a tally of when Lion annoys me to add them up. Yes, he can do it for me. I find that idea annoying. Does that count?

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

Aside from one snarl on Saturday, I’ve been staying out of trouble. It’s true that I don’t have a lot of opportunities to earn spankings lately. I am naked all the time I am home. Since I don’t go out for more than an hour or two a week, there is no shirt to spill food on. I’ve managed to remember punishment days and to set up the coffeepot. That leaves me unspanked for over a week.

That’s both good news and bad news. We both tend to “forget” things if not regularly repeated. That’s why we discussed maintenance spankings. We tried this in the past and didn’t have much success. Mrs. Lion didn’t get into disciplinarian mode so her maintenance spanking ended early when I started to get unhappy. She reasoned that I didn’t deserve it, so I shouldn’t have to suffer.

She had a point. I also feel reluctant to subject myself to a painful, disciplinary spanking when I haven’t earned it. We quietly dropped the idea after only one maintenance spanking. Mrs. Lion hasn’t particularly worried about maintenance spankings. She doesn’t enjoy beating me (she also doesn’t mind) and is happy to forego it if I am not in need of punishment.

I can sit here and write about the need for maintenance spankings, but I know I won’t ask for one. I also know that if I can beg off, I will. If one is to happen, Mrs. Lion will have to be convinced of its value enough to approach it the same way she handles punishing me.

When I’ve earned punishment, I don’t get a vote whether or not I will be spanked. Unless I am legitimately too sick to receive my spanking, Mrs. Lion will administer it when she decides that it’s time. It is a no-nonsense affair. She tells me to get into position and that is the end of my participation. She disregards my yelps and spanks me until she feels she has made her point.

Over time, her spankings have become more intense. I have to admit that more intensity makes a better impression on me. I take her punishments more seriously. I don’t expect this trend to end anytime soon. No wonder that I try to avoid maintenance spanking.

If she believes that maintenance spanking is useful to us, I think she will have to deal with it the same way she punishes me. I guess it is an educational punishment.

The next question is how much unspanked time has to pass before I need one? At one point she thought that if I went a week without punishment, I needed a maintenance spanking. That felt way too frequent to me. She accepted that feeling and the maintenance spankings stopped.

I’m now convinced we truly need these reminders. Perhaps two unspanked weeks is the right interval. If it is, Mrs. Lion can make it my job to keep track and remind her the same way she has me remind her of punishment days. If I forget to remind her, I get punished. That means one way or another I get paddled at least once every two weeks.

What do you think, Mrs. Lion?