This may sound completely crazy but now that Mrs. Lion is trying to play with me earlier in the day, I’m having some trouble. For the last couple of days, Mrs. Lion has approached me and either asked me if I want to play or just starts doing something, like tying my balls. I don’t find myself responding the way I expected. When she asks me, I generally say no. She is doing exactly what I asked and it’s not working for me.
It’s not that I’m not interested in sex at 5 PM. I’m interested in sex pretty much any time of day except within about an hour of waking up in the morning. I’m absolutely useless when it comes to morning sex. My problem might be the abrupt nature of Mrs. Lion’s approach. Does that make sense? I get the feeling that she assumes I have a sexual switch that turns on at her first approach. That might’ve been the case years ago, but now I seem to want more warmup.
I noticed this when she decided to use the tiny, dollhouse clothespins on the head of my penis. She got the clothespins, sat down next to me, played with my soft penis until it started to get hard, and then went to work with the very painful toys. I hated it. In fairness, I’m never very fond of those very painful little monsters. This was different. I didn’t feel ready. That may not be the right word. I hadn’t fully changed mental gears to focus on sexual activity. I think this is the issue with our earlier playtime.
At night, when Mrs. Lion is relaxing and playing with her iPad, I will frequently feel impatient that she isn’t interested in sexual activity. I realize she has a different perspective on this, but that’s how it feels to me. My impatience is a signal that I’m ready. Obviously, I’ve been thinking about sex. At the late hour, I’m frequently not very good at following through. But that’s not the point; I’m mentally prepared.
Oh boy, I’m starting to sound like a stereotypical wife. You know, “You can’t just start groping me. I need to be in the mood first.” I’ve heard that before and I never thought I would actually be saying it myself. Mrs. Lion has complained over the years that I sometimes, often, would just start playing with her pussy. She said that she needed to be more in the mood first. Holy crap! Guess what? Me too!
I’m not sure that my need to have my focus changed is the same as hers when she was interested in sex. But it’s very similar. As she’s pointed out in the past, I like anticipating what will be coming later in the day. When she writes that I will get Icy Hot on my balls, I do feel the excitement. I absolutely hate it when she does it, but I can’t help felling aroused. However, that’s the main event. We still need the overture and perhaps a first act before it begins.
I’m not saying I want mushy stuff, you know, hugging kissing. However, I would never turn that down. Maybe I need a slower approach. Perhaps rubbing the inside of my thighs or, if accessible, my bottom. I’m starting to sound like Masters and Johnson. Sheesh! But it’s true, non-genital stimulation is important for me too. Mrs. Lion seems to think that simply getting me hard is sufficient warm-up. It’s certainly a good start but it isn’t.
Masturbating me and rubbing my balls, for example, can work very well to focus me. Until very recently, I didn’t realize that my erection isn’t a reliable signal I’m ready for more. Certainly, it’s a sexual, physical reaction. On its own, it isn’t signal that I’m ready for the main event.
As Mrs. Lion knows, it’s frequently very difficult to get me to the edge of orgasm. As I’ve gotten older, it seems to be more difficult to get me to the excitement plateau. This is the point in male arousal when he is very hard and excited. It doesn’t necessarily signal that ejaculation is imminent, but reliably indicates he wants to get there.
When we played in the past, Mrs. Lion usually made sure I’m was on that plateau before she begins applying Icy Hot or nasty, little clothespins. I’m not sure why, but recently she seems to be in a hurry; at least that’s how it feels to me. I realize that our situation is fairly unique. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have her own arousal to use as an indicator when it’s time to escalate the activity. She has to rely solely on my arousal.
It could be that she feels some pressure to get through the sexual activity at 5 PM. It could be that by moving my stimulation up on her schedule, it becomes something she needs to complete as quickly as she can. As she has to know from her own experience, that’s not a great way to approach sex. I’m sure she doesn’t think of it that way. This is my perception. However, I’m sure she’s thinking about making dinner and finally getting to unwind.
Even if it means pushing sex out to later in the evening, it’s clear to me that she has to unwind before she can take the time it takes to make sex work for me. I’m a little surprised that neither of us thought of this sooner. Even though she doesn’t get any sexual pleasure out of it, Mrs. Lion needs to be in the mood to provide me with sex. When she tries to do it as a service before she is physically and emotionally ready, it doesn’t work for either of us.