One of Lion’s favorite shows is “Everybody Loves Raymond”. We were watching it the other day and he bought a sex game to play with his wife. He was concerned with all the squares involved with sex. She liked the squares that involved communication and feelings. As they played it came out that she was less than satisfied with his lovemaking. Apparently they varied the foreplay, but the actual sex was the same every time. He wondered why she never told him in all the time they’d been married. She was embarrassed, but asked if he couldn’t figure it out. Then he countered with why she couldn’t figure out that he wasn’t figuring it out. Long story short (too late), they weren’t communicating.
I admire Lion for communicating to me that what he thought he wanted was not really what he wanted. He asked for earlier play and sex, but that wasn’t really what he needed. Or maybe it wasn’t all he needed. By letting me know, I can adjust things so he gets what he needs.
For the record, I didn’t feel stressed or hurried by the earlier time. I had no idea I was rushing him. I thought I was doing things the way we always did, but a few hours sooner. Maybe that’s part of the problem too. Maybe I was rushing then too. I didn’t think I was, but maybe that’s how Lion perceived it. Now I’m wondering if I’ve been playing the role of the stereotypical guy for a long time. I swoop in, get him excited, do my thing and we’re done. I’ve got to get back to watching sports or doze off. Has he gotten all “girly” on me, wanting snuggles and a long lead up to the moment? Who wears the panties in the family? [Lion — I do when told.]
R6I’m kidding, of course. But it got me wondering if, by turning into 3.0, I’ve somehow gotten away from the regular snuggly foreplay we used to do. At one point, Lion said that was too vanilla and he needed bondage and spanking, etc. but maybe I went overboard in the other direction. I started righting the ship last night. I just need to figure out how to balance things out.
Listen to this post.