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In: CBT

Lion has been “hinting” about the prickly jockstrap for a while. He’ll say, “We have so many new toys, like the jockstrap, that we haven’t tried. When are we ever going to try it? I’d really like to try it.” Hint, hint. I’ve thought about using it but then I forget. In keeping with my effort to play more during the day, I decided yesterday was the day.

First, I made sure Lion had no phone calls or video conferences set up for work. I never want to interfere with his job. After lunch, when he said he had work things to do, I told him he needed to put on the jockstrap. I knew he was both looking forward to it and not looking forward to it. It took a while to get it adjusted correctly, and that’s why I hate putting him in things. All the buckles and lining things up only to find out it’s not tight enough, so it needs to be unbuckled and rebuckled and unbuckled and buckled. But finally, it was on.

From my point of view, it’s similar to a butt plug. I set and forget. I go on my merry way and Lion has to deal with it. He was sitting in his chair and I figured the prickly points were jabbing him in all the wrong (or right, if you prefer) places. Every time he moved to get more comfortable, those little spikes jabbed him in a different spot. Consequently, if he got used to them jabbing in one spot and shifted his weight even a tiny bit, they’d jab him a new way. I was off rearranging the pantry so I can set up for waxing. I wasn’t being jabbed by prickly points.

Around a quarter to three, I was heading for the bathroom to take a shower. I was sweaty and gross and I wanted to be clean when I played with Lion. He met me in the hall and asked how long he had to wear the prickly jockstrap. I told him he had to wear it until I told him to take it off. Duh! And I went to take my shower. A shade past three I was done. I unbuckled him and asked him where his new Automilker was. He charged it as soon as it was out of the box. I figured, since we were trying new toys, we might as well try the newest.

Masturbation toys have not worked well on Lion. The only masturbation toy that works well most of the time is me. The artificial ones have been disappointing. He doesn’t respond well to vibrators, which is why it’s surprising that the Magic Wand works so well. It’s possible that’s because I control the motion of the Magic Wand and I’m still touching him while I use it. The others have his penis encased in a machine. Part of the problem may also be that Lion doesn’t expect them to work. The mind is a powerful part of sex.

Obviously the first time doesn’t go well for most things. I don’t think we ever revisited the FleshLight. To be fair, we should try things at least three times. The first time is exploratory. How does this thing work? The second time is for relaxing and seeing if it actually works and the third time is just making sure it works or doesn’t work. We do that with TV shows too. The first episode might be bad. They have to introduce all the characters and establish the premise. The second show begins the story and by the third, we can usually determine if we want to continue watching.

We’ll try the Automilker again, but not today. He didn’t really get a good play session in yesterday because we were messing with the Automilker. I won’t say he’s not in for any surprises, but he’ll definitely have more fun.

[Lion — Starting with new toys have to fit me is always difficult. For example, the spiky jockstrap has stiff straps. They need to be worn in before they are pliable enough to really do the job. Similarly, the pouch of the device is stiffer than it will be after it is worn for some time. I suppose that means I need to wear the jockstrap frequently for fairly long periods to break it in.]

By:
In: BDSM, Anal play, Lion's Journal

Well, I asked for it. I wanted daytime play. Yeah, what a good idea. Mrs. Lion and I had lunch yesterday at about 12:30 PM. After lunch, Mrs. Lion said she wanted to put me in my prickly jockstrap. This would be the first time I really got to wear it. I just tried it on when it first arrived. I had a bunch of work to do after lunch, but that didn’t stop Mrs. Lion. She strapped me into it. I could feel the little points bite into the tip of my penis. It’s not a very pleasant feeling. Once I sat down at my desk I could feel them digging into the side of my balls as well. Every time I moved, new spots exposed themselves to the sharp, little points. I’m sitting at my desk now and because I’m leaning forward, the entire top of the penis head is being prickled. Ouch.

jockstrap with pins
This is the inside of the pouch of the leather jockstrap. Those little points are very sharp and dig into my most tender flesh.

The jockstrap is built so that I can’t reach in and make any adjustments. I just have to sit here and suffer. This prickly jockstrap has lockable buckles. We do have locks for them but Mrs. Lion doesn’t feel that’s necessary. It’s because she is sitting only a few feet away from me. This is definitely a painful toy. Speaking of toys, the latest male masturbator arrived today. It’s called Automilker.

This device is made by the same people who bring us the Autoblow masturbator. The Automilker is a vibrator. According to its maker, it’s designed to be like the powerful medical devices used to help paralyzed men ejaculate. If you been reading this blog for a while, you know that I’ve had no real luck with vibrators. However, maybe this is different. I’ll be reviewing it in the near future.

njoy butt plug
The NJoy butt plug that Mrs. Lion planted inside me while she gave me some nice oral attention.

On Sunday night. Mrs. Lion brought out the Njoy butt plug. This one is moderately-sized and quite comfortable after it’s been inserted. She left it in for about an hour and then told me to get into position for oral sex. I’ve been stimulated before while wearing a plug. It’s a little more difficult for me to focus on the arousal, but I’ve been able to go all the way through to ejaculation. Mrs. Lion put in a noble effort to get me to the edge. I just couldn’t quite get there. It wasn’t because of the butt plug. I just wasn’t ready. It still felt really good and made me wish she would keep going. There’s something about a suddenly interrupted blow job that is frustrating and a little disappointing.

I’m not complaining. Mrs. Lion is definitely getting back to her old, scary self. She mused about having me wear the prickly jockstrap under clothing when we go out. That’s a scary thought. It’s something lioness 4.0 would do. My bottom remains pristine. I’ve managed to follow my rules, including reminding Mrs. Lion of punishment days. One of our readers quipped that I haven’t learned by now, I’ll never learn.

The red doesn’t come out well in our photos. My butt was red and sore after forgetting to remind Mrs. Lion of punishment day.

One of the reasons that domestic discipline works so well in terms of modifying my behavior, is that if I forget something I should do, a spanking is sure to refresh my memory. Over the years I’ve read many blog posts written by disciplining women that claim men tend to “forget” to do things they are supposed to after a while. A couple of them claim that we males forget after about a month. A strong spanking improves our memories for at least another month. When it comes to remembering punishment days, I have to admit that I fit that model.

In a vanilla relationship, forgetting to do a chore would result in nagging. Nothing good ever comes of that. The man being nagged is very likely to deliberately stop doing whatever it is he was nagged about. On the other hand, it would be very unusual for me to forget something again after receiving a bottom-blistering spanking from Mrs. Lion. If I do forget again, the next spanking will be substantially more memorable.

I suppose it isn’t remarkable that even an old lion like me can learn new tricks with the help of a paddle. What truly amazes both of us is that we feel that our disciplinary relationship has added a very happy dimension to our lives. Even though Mrs. Lion isn’t particularly fond of spanking me and I definitely don’t like being spanked, we really missed it when we had to stop when I was sick. I am happier when regularly paddled. I don’t think that surprised anyone. The big surprise is Mrs. Lion discovering she missed her role as a spanker. Fortunately, neither of us have to do without.

By:
In: Anal play, Mrs Lion Comments, Oral Sex
njoy butt plug

We didn’t play yesterday afternoon. I’m going to try my hardest to make sure we do today. Lion was a little perturbed that after all we’ve been writing about, I still didn’t do anything with him early in the day. I have two things to say about that: Shit happens! and we play when I say we play. [Lion — Yes Ma’am.]

While I made dinner, I was trying to figure out what to do with Lion. I decided he could sit with a butt plug up his ass while I took a shower. That would take care of some play. After I finished the dinner dishes I turned on the dishwasher. Oops. I try not to run it when anyone is showering. Lion swears that doing things with water has no effect on showers. If anyone has ever been boiled when someone flushes a toilet, you know why I don’t take a chance.

It was no big deal anyway. It just meant Lion would get his attention earlier. He’d asked if I was just going to leave the butt plug in or move it. I’ve been taking anything he says as a critique lately. I was just going to leave it but it was possible to move it. He said he was just curious.

I don’t know how Lion feels, but it seems like handjobs aren’t working as well as they used to. Even with play, he takes a while to get anywhere. It’s not necessarily right after an orgasm, but his refractory period does seem to slow things down. It makes perfect sense. I’m not saying he’s broken. I got him close to the edge the other day with my hand. And then I decided that he doesn’t necessarily have to get to the edge each time for things to work. Getting him excited, even short of the edge adds to his frustration. It feels good and makes him want more. I’ve only done that to him a few times on purpose, but that’s when I knew he was already horny and frustrated. I got him all revved up and waiting for more and then just stopped. That may be worse than edging him.

I just decided that Lion would react better to some oral activity. I didn’t touch the butt plug; it was still up his ass. I had him lay across the bed and I went to work. I know the butt plug makes an orgasm a bit uncomfortable. Muscles clamping down divert attention from the main attraction. I wasn’t planning on giving him an orgasm, but I knew he’d be acutely aware of the butt plug while I sucked him. Sure, I may be doing something he loves and, in his mind, maybe I’d go all the way even though it hasn’t been long since his last orgasm, but I guy can hope and, oh, by the way, there’s a butt plug up his ass. [Lion — It was 5 days.]

So I sucked and I licked and I tickled his balls. I’m not sure I ever actually got him to the edge or even close, but I decided to stop. He groaned a little bit. Was that the groan of “oh man, I was almost there” or “dammit, I wasn’t even close and I need more”? I don’t know. In either case, I left him wanting more. And more he shall get.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote in her post about phrases that annoy her. One of the biggies is when I say, “Are we ever going to…?” This is an indirect way of asking for something. Obviously, I should either keep my mouth shut — the submissive team says, “Of course!” — Or say, “Can we…?”

If I’m silent, anxiety will build up and I’ll start feeling sad and grumpy. I know, it’s a personal problem. On the other hand, if I ask directly I will probably get an answer like, “I don’t know.”

This is an area where Mrs. Lion and I are very different. I’m happiest when things are known. The word “maybe” creates anxiety in me. That sort of answer is the same as far as I’m concerned, as me being silent.

From my point of view, the real problem is that the normal signal that motivates sexual activity is missing. We have a long-standing sexual power exchange. I know that we are both comfortable with it. But there is a problem that’s existed as long as we’ve been doing it: it’s one-sided. Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex. I am. In a lot of relationships that would mean the person who is no longer interested in sex would simply not have sex. That leaves the partner who needs sex to either abstain voluntarily or find other outlets.

Before we began our enforced male chastity, I masturbated. That was my outlet. I got bored with that, but it was better than nothing. I didn’t want to try to find another partner. At other times in my life, I might have done that. I couldn’t. I’m simply too much in love with Mrs. Lion to risk hurting her by having sex with someone else.

Enforced male chastity was my idea. I figured it would give some structure to a one-way sexual relationship. The big problem as far as I could see is that there’s nothing in it for Mrs. Lion. That remains the case now after over six years. My fantasy was that she would enjoy the game. She would like the feeling of control and the frustration she would cause by teasing and not allowing me to climax. When she was interested in orgasms for herself, topping me was a pretty good form of foreplay. She was always extremely aroused after she had played with me. We would have sex, cowgirl style combined with her moving over my face for some oral attention. After she had been satisfied, she would either climb off and masturbate me to orgasm, or she would turn around reverse cowgirl-style and I would ejaculate inside her. It was wonderful!

It was clear that we both had a good time. Now, I might have a good time but she never does. I don’t think she considers sexual activity with me as work, but I don’t think she thinks of it as fun either. Maybe it’s her wifely duty. I’m not crazy about that. That’s not the point. Regardless of how I feel about it, that’s the situation.

The current dilemma is that we seem to be out of sync again. Mrs. Lion is uncomfortable about sexual activity during the day. She wrote about that in her post. Truth be told, she doesn’t seem particularly interested in the evening either. There’s no real reason she should be. There’s nothing in it for her. I suppose there’s a benefit in knowing that she’s made me happy. Maybe that’s what’s been keeping it alive all these years. I guess I’m her favorite charity. It does mean that doing things with me is very low on her priority list, well behind playing with her iPad.

I’m not ready to give up on sex and play. As of now, I don’t have any choice about what can happen. I only have one outlet: Mrs. Lion. I’m not allowed to masturbate and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go out and find a sexual partner. Since I haven’t tried to do that in 17 years virus or no virus it’s obviously not a very viable option for me.

It would be nice to wrap this post up with a pithy or humorous comment. The truth is I don’t have one. As of right now I’m feeling kind of lost.

[Mrs. Lion — I think it’s fun to frustrate Lion. I think it’s fun to give him an orgasm. I’m just having a hard time finding my footing lately. Evening play is more comfortable, but maybe that’s because it’s what we’ve been doing for so many years. I don’t know why the afternoon is such a mystery to me. Clearly I need to set a play alarm for 3 pm every afternoon. *At the tone, the time will be “play o’clock”*]