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In: Masturbation, Lion's Journal, Sex
lion's new fleshlight
This is the Fleshlight Mrs. Lion wanted me to order. It looks intriguing to me.

If you read Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, she’s getting proactive in the toy department. It is the first time she located a toy to be used on me. She suggested the Fleshlight. This toy looks like a large flashlight with an opening where the bulb would be. It’s available with a vagina-shaped opening, an anus, or a mouth.

She wasn’t sure what the device was called, but I recognized it from her description. I said I could order one. She agreed. So I placed an order for the “Stamina Trainer” vagina model. I have no idea why this particular model is supposed to train for stamina. It appeared to me to be the only one that looked like the classic Fleshlight I’ve seen on various websites over the years.

I have no idea if this toy will provide more intense stimulation than Mrs. Lion’s left hand or mouth. At worst, it will give her another tool to stimulate me. The entire category of male sex toys are referred to as “masturbators”. They all seem to be simulated orifices, both female and male. Of course, classic vibrators, which are generally considered female sex toys, are just as useful in getting men off.

I applaud Mrs. Lion’s imagination. Her proactive approach to lion physical therapy is laudable. Perhaps we’ve turned a new corner. I certainly hope so. I’m not complaining. Mrs. Lion has been a diligent, sensitive sex partner. Even though sex is only for me, she constantly tries to make it as much fun as possible.

fleshlight in action
Fleshlight in action.

The Fleshlight adds a new element: surprise. I had no idea we would end up acquiring this device. Now sex might be hand, mouth, Magic Wand, and now Fleshlight. That’s cool!

It doesn’t really matter whether the new device is better than any of our tried-and-true sexual techniques. It’s just wonderful that there will be something new. I don’t want to claim this is the beginning of a trend (though I hope it is). There isn’t all that much variety out there in male sex toys; at least I don’t think so.

I’m very happy that I’m not the only one discovering new possibilities. It feels wonderful that Mrs. Lion is taking time and energy to seek out new ways to play with me. It’s an extension of her sexual control.

I’m fully aware that I’m not allowed to use anything, including my hand, on my penis. But I have always been allowed to locate and purchase toys for Mrs. Lion’s use. I like it much better that she is doing her own shopping.

I’ve always felt that I had to do this research. If she’s doing it things will get much more entertaining here. It’s exciting just to think about her next shopping selection.

By:
In: Edging, Masturbation, Mrs Lion Comments
lion's fleshlight
This is a cross-section view of the Fleshlight Lion ordered. He selected the vaginal model. It should be arriving in a week or two.
(Click image for purchase information)

Lion thinks that daily edging, or attempts at edging, is a necessary part of his recovery. I’m game for that. But I have sort of a problem. If I’m not able to get him aroused enough to get to the edge, what do I do? If I use my hands, my mouth and the Magic Wand to no avail, what next? I even tied his balls up last night. He loved it. He was hard for a while and then he wasn’t.

He says he feels like he hits a wall. I have many tricks in my bag, but what if they don’t work? I know. I know. It’s not that he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. I get that. And I’m not going to give up on him, but what to do? Last night I came up with one idea.

In my travels looking for paddles or other toys, I’ve seen masturbation toys. Lion isn’t allowed to masturbate himself. I’m his masturbation toy. But I do use the Magic Wand so why not try other things too? I couldn’t remember what the name was but I explained it to Lion as we were snuggling after the failed edging attempt. About an hour later he said he’d ordered a Fleshlight. Yes! That’s the name. I’m not sure which one he ordered. They come in mouth, anus and vagina models. But I’m interested to see if they work. How they work.

fleshlight on penis
The Fleshlight simulates a vagina. I think that Lion will have a lot of fun when I use it on him.

For the record, I don’t see anything wrong with getting a little help for him. If women can have dildos then men can have Fleshlights. As long as I’m the one who uses the Fleshlight on Lion, he can have it. After all, I’m the one who uses dildos on him. It just makes sense.

Until the toy gets here, I’m on my own. Don’t worry. I’m up for it. I’m up for getting Lion up. It’s a medically necessary part of his recovery.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Edging, Female led relationship with discipline

It’s becoming clear that it will take some time for me to get completely back to normal. I won’t go through the litany of my ills. Suffice it to say that a lot of things have changed and the changes have forced Mrs. Lion and I to adapt to the limitations I now have.

Sexually, I’m not as responsive as I was before the surgery. This is undoubtedly due to the stress of all the other stuff I am working on overcoming. Both of us remain committed to continuing enforced male chastity and our female led relationship with discipline (FLRD).

Until now, we’ve expressed this continuing commitment but haven’t worked out how we will ramp up again. I’ve been giving this some thought because it’s clear we both miss the old dynamic.

Mrs. Lion wrote about wanting to lock me in a chastity device again. She didn’t feel it was a good idea right now because I’m a bit wobbly on my feet and perhaps the challenge of assuring my urethra is in the right place and that I’m aiming correctly to pee, may be a bit much. I don’t deny that the device would add a physical challenge. However, maybe we should test out my ability to handle it. This weekend could offer an opportunity for a test flight.

I thought it was interesting that Mrs. Lion expressed a preference for the Jail Bird (over the Nub) because it gives me a good view of what I can’t touch. My Nub is clear plastic and the view it offers is about the same as the one I get with the Jail Bird. It’s true that more of me is easier to see with the Jail Bird. I don’t have a preference and I’m happy to accept whatever device my lioness chooses for me.

A much more difficult reentry for us is our FLRD. I imagine that Mrs. Lion feels it’s too soon to paddle me if I break a rule. She may be right. However, she has other disciplinary tools she can use if she wishes.

The big question is whether I’m sufficiently in the present to be responsible for any lapses. It may be that she will need to phase rules in. Since all of this got suspended when I got the surgery, I think we’ve both noticed that the absence of the disciplinary context subtly shifts some of the ways we interact.

For example, it’s entirely too easy for us to withdraw into our own worlds. Mrs. Lion has a great deal more time at home since she is only working part-time in order to be available to help me. I feel guilty that I am taking so much of her time and attention helping me do things I typically do for myself. Our physical interaction has a distinctly sick-room flavor.

I don’t think that’s very good for us. Yes, she has been masturbating me every four or five days. I love that. But, it’s a relatively small activity without the drama added by days of edging and play. In short, right now we are pretty vanilla. That, in itself isn’t a bad thing. But, without the enforced chastity and BDSM activities there’s a big hole in the way we relate.

One reason for this is Mrs. Lion’s strong need to accommodate me. She doesn’t want to push me further than I’m comfortable going. It makes sense since I’m a bit wobbly on my feet and I’ve lost much of the function of one arm (hopefully temporarily). That doesn’t mean I can’t do things, but it does mean that she’s not sure just how much I can do.

Perhaps if our rules go back in force and I am punished when needed, Mrs. Lion will be more observant and less sensitive to how I feel about what’s happening. She needs to make the transition from caregiver to disciplinary wife.

There’s no question that I still need her to take care of me. I’m not capable of many things I need done. I think I am capable of following my rules and accepting the consequences if I miss.

In the next few weeks I should begin physical therapy to help me restore full function. I think I probably need a special kind of physical therapy from Mrs. Lion. The surgery has affected my sexual responses. It’s a lot harder to get me close to ejaculation. That’s not surprising. The surgery disrupted my spinal cord which reacts by hindering sensation and movement below the neck. Obviously that includes Mrs. Lion’s weenie.

I can feel sexual energy returning. I think it’s time to consider some physical therapy. My thought is that at-least-daily exercise, if you will, that gets me as close to the edge as possible without orgasm, will help me remake the connections that appear to be broken.

This activity will also reset our daily snuggle-and-play sessions that have been interrupted. I’m convinced that edging is a seriously good way to bring me back. Based on our current experience, this isn’t easy and will happen gradually. I’d like to say that I’m in no rush, but I really am. Regardless, I think that my sensitivity will return in its own time under Mrs. Lion’s capable hands.

It is a bit ironic that she’s expressed a desire to lock me up again and I’ve expressed a desire for more teasing. The combination moves us back where we were before my surgery. It may not be possible for me to be locked up and be available enough for the lioness PT. I think the PT has to come first. Each erection she gives me moves me that much closer to being the old, horny lion she knows and loves.

By:
In: Erections, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion suggested going out to dinner tonight. When I got home from work he said he’d been working on “back and forth” a lot and when he got wobbly he decided to take a break. Back and forth was from the bedroom to the kitchen and back. In a sense, he was doing laps. This is great news. He’s working toward normalcy. I don’t know if he used up all his energy for going out to dinner. We’ll see how he feels.

Last night I said he might be ready to drive in another week or so. He said he hopes he can drive sooner than that. I asked how if he can’t make it down the steps to get to the car. He can, of course. He just shouldn’t do it alone. As far as driving is concerned, I hope he’d take it easy and admit he needs me to drive before he gets into any trouble. It’s not that I doubt his ability. I doubt his stamina. With his muscles not cooperating with each other entirely, his mind is certainly willing even if the body can’t quite get there.

I know he’s not up for a trip to Costco or any store for that matter. I’m never sure I’m up for a trip to Costco. But I think he can certainly walk into a restaurant. If he has tired himself out today, we can go tomorrow. There’s no rush. We have food here.

The list of things I need to help him with or do for Lion is dwindling. He still needs help with things that take two hands. His right arm is getting better but it still needs time. He needs help in the shower and drying off. I’m in no hurry to give this up. I like washing his butt and especially my weenie. When I spend time to get it super clean, I get an erection as a present. Who wouldn’t love that? Maybe the showers are the last thing that should be given up.

[Lion — Does Mrs. Lion really have to stop making sure I’m squeaky clean even after I can use both hands? I hope not].