The (big) cat is out of the bag. Julie of mentioned our very nice correspondence. It’s a little personal project to help fuel our real-life sex. The stories are designed to push our respective buttons. One advantage of being a sex blogger is that readers learn what turns us on in real life. Julie has been blogging longer than us. I’ve been enjoying her writing for almost eight years. I’ve read every post she’s written. She reads my writing too. We’ve seen each other naked in our published pictures. We’ve also become friends and help each other with our books.

The result of all this is that she knows exactly how to push my buttons. Once we enjoy the heat our writing produces, we send back our review of the writing. This serves to make the next story even closer to our sexual centers. Our spouses know of this. Mrs. Lion read Julie’s first story. She didn’t react much. This isn’t surprising. Her lack of interest in sex for herself makes a visceral response unlikely.

We started the project because I mentioned that I was having trouble getting my motor running. I don’t masturbate. Mrs. Lion strongly dislikes the idea of me jerking off. It was the first rule she made for me. She didn’t masturbate before she lost interest in sex. She tried it and didn’t like it. I liked it when I did it. Still, I understand her problem with it. Julie summed it up in her post, “Spanked for masturbating – part 1“:

“I think we can all admit that if we have a live-in partner, and you find out they have been masturbating, even if you are intellectually fine with it, and do it yourself, you are nonetheless just a touch annoyed, no? Certainly I am. Just a touch. I mean, he has almost 24×7 access to ME, why does he need to jerk off? What’s wrong with ME???? Who wouldn’t want to fuck THIS at every possible opportunity, am I right?”

How can she resist this?

Julie included an image of herself naked that makes her point. It really makes it! It’s hard to argue with that logic. Mrs. Lion’s point was that, in a sense, jerking off is a form of cheating. After all, she told me, I’m having sex without her. I can’t argue with that. In our relationship, I don’t have the 24×7 access to Mrs. Lion that Julie offers David. Still, I have to agree that Mrs. Lion owns my orgasms. She has 24×7 access to me!

As you might imagine, experienced writers like Julie and I can deliver exceptionally hot, custom porn. I love writing it, using my knowledge of her. She knows exactly how to get me hard and hungry. She definitely double teams me with Mrs. Lion.

Over the years, we’ve mentioned each other’s blogs in our writing. I don’t understand why, but bloggers avoid mentioning one another. This is odd since we read each other. How do I know? I don’t. Occasionally, our blog gets mentioned, which suggests the blogger reads us. I wonder if these people worry that if they point people at our blog, they will stop reading theirs. Silly!

If you ever wondered what sex bloggers do in their private lives, now you know. You might be surprised to learn that there is almost nothing private in our lives. Every single sexual activity, spanking, teasing, and orgasm either of us experienced has been chronicled here since 2014. Maybe this blogger doesn’t have a private life after all.

Most people say that men prefer porn more than women. I’m not sure about that. I do wonder what women who enjoy seeing naked men like looking at. Some time ago, I did an informal Twitter poll to find out if women prefer seeing men with or without erections. About three-quarters preferred a hard cock. Mrs. Lion said there is no doubt that she prefers seeing erect penises. As far as I know, she doesn’t seek out images of naked men. Since I’m naked all the time we are home, she has one to see anytime she wants. Of course, she has to do some work if she wants to see me hard.

More recently, I asked if women liked to see a man masturbate. I was referring to images online. A surprising 62% said they do, 25% said they do only if the guy in the picture is a friend. 13% said they don’t. Since I am not allowed to masturbate, and as far as I know, Mrs. Lion doesn’t look online, I don’t know how she feels about it. If she decides to let me do it under her supervision, we’ll find out if she likes that visual. [Mrs. Lion — Does Lion not remember masturbating on camera for me before we moved in together? It was fun then, but that was before I forbid him from masturbating. It might be nice to see his technique again, especially after his recent critique of my hand job.]

I think it’s significant that so many women enjoy watching. Every woman I’ve had a long-term relationship with asked me to masturbate for them. Some of the time, I’m sure it was a way to avoid the work of getting me off. Mostly, I believe it was arousing to them. I was always told that visual stimuli don’t arouse women. By that, I mean seeing male genitals or watching people have sex. It appears that isn’t true now if it ever was in the past.

The flip side of my question is how many men like being watched when they jerk off. I put another poll on Twitter to try to find out. I’ve had some experience with being jerked off in a semi-public setting, a BDSM play party. Usually, after a scene when I bottomed (not very often), part of the action would be my top jerking me off. I switched with a few women over the years. One, a rather well-known author, was a regular play partner. We alternated topping duties. When I topped her, I would masturbate her until she had several orgasms at the end of the scene. When she topped, she returned the favor. There were usually onlookers during our scenes.

When I  was the bottom and was jerked off, I had a sense of humiliation. I’m not accustomed to being naked and having an erection in the middle of a large (several hundred people) play party. It was a naughty feeling of excitement. Obviously, they all weren’t watching. I doubt many took notice at all. Still, there I was, tied spread-eagle to a table in the middle of the room. The woman topping me was playing with my penis and making no effort to conceal her success. She would go on to jerk me off. That was definitely an uncommon event for me.

I admit it. I had fun. Come to think of it, that was obvious, wasn’t it? That isn’t quite the same as me doing it myself in front of others. I’ve never done that. I think it would be difficult. I would probably have to close my eyes and pretend I’m alone. I suppose if it were part of a scene, I would do it. It isn’t something I would ever ask to do. And, no, it isn’t a fantasy of mine either.

There is an expanding category of sex toys for men. Male masturbators are among the fastest-growing. These devices range from imitation mouths, anuses, and vaginas to vibrators and devices intended to simulate oral sex. The oral sex devices provided up and down motion designed to simulate a mouth on the penis. The market was dominated by the Fleshlight, which is a cylinder containing a silicone sleeve designed to simulate a vagina or anus. It has no moving parts. That’s up to the man to provide.

The devices that provide realistic motion were limited to the Autoblow. This device sells for about $200. It contains a sleeve very much like the Fleshlight’s. A gripper moves up and down outside the sleeve. This applies pressure to the shaft as it moves. It is supposed to feel like oral sex. I found it pretty disappointing. It felt good but not good enough to get me off.

A Chinese sex toy company contacted me and asked if I would test the device of my choice. I was impressed by their website It is nicely designed. The company makes a selection of sex toys, including male masturbators that compete with the Fleshlight and Autoblow. I chose the Sohimi Masturabator. It looks like a Fleshlight with switches on it. Priced at under $100, it is a bargain compared with the Autoblow.

The device has silicone “lips” that simulate labia. Inside is a silicone sleeve with large bumps protruding into the cavity. The device can provide up and down motion and rotation. Unlike the Autoblow, the entire sleeve moves. The up-down range of motion is fairly small. The rotation is, well, rotation. In addition, the device comes with earbuds and provides a soundtrack of an Asian woman in heat.

Test results

I have a rather poor track record when it comes to masturbators. I’ve reviewed almost all of them over the years. The only one that managed to get me off was the Venus 2000, which costs $900. I was only able to do that after a long trial and error. Anyway, after unpacking the Sohimi, I charged it. The device comes with a micro USB charging cord but no AC adapter. We have lots of them around the house. The packaging is beautiful, befitting a high-tech device.

The control panel flashes while charging. When fully charged, it stays on. You can’t use the device while attached to the charger. Sohimi provides a sample tube of their lube. I don’t like it. It dries out quickly and has an industrial smell. Use any good water-based lube. The instructions said to squirt lube into the sleeve. I did that. I also explored the controls. There is an on/off switch. You have to press for a few seconds to start or stop. Another button selects stimulation pattern. There are ten combinations of up-and-down, round-and-round patterns of varying speeds. Each press changes the pattern. A third button controls the audio track.

After lubing the sleeve, I manually got hard and inserted my cock. I tried each pattern. One was most exciting to me. It had a strong up/down with limited rotation. It felt good but not good enough to ejaculate. Good thing. I’m not allowed to do that on my own. I was in no danger of an unauthorized squirt. I liked how it felt, but not good enough to give a happy ending.

Cleaning should be simple but turned out to be difficult. The labia unscrews to reveal the sleeve inside. Another panel on the side of the device comes off to give more access to the sleeve. The instructions showed pulling the sleeve out for washing and drying. It was very difficult to remove. I think that was because the device is new. I don’t think it would be as hard the next time.

The device comes with an interesting accessory: a suction device to attach to a wall or table. It is a very powerful attachment and, if attached to a non-porous surface, will easily hold the device. I think this option would add a lot of extra fun. I think if I could thrust as well as letting the machine do the work, it might be enough even for me.

The sleeve itself is only about five inches long. There is about a two-inch gap from the labia to the top of the sleeve. At best, only the top four inches of penis gets stimulated. In my case, only two are rubbed. That’s not too bad since the “good part” of the penis is just under the head. The short sleeve limited the thrusting I could do. There is plenty of battery power. The device can run at least an hour on a charge. When in operation, it is a bit noisy but didn’t distract me.


The Sohimi masturbator is well priced. It’s far less expensive than any other motorized masturbator. It’s easy to use. Cleaning takes some work but isn’t a dealbreaker. I had fun using it. If I didn’t have Mrs. Lion, who provides the real thing, this device would provide entertaining stimulation. Even if it can’t make me ejaculate, it certainly feels good. At the price, it’s a nice addition to any guy’s toybox.

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Lately, it seems that my red bottom is a topic of interest to Mrs. Lion. Her posts focus on spanking me. For that matter, my posts do too. It’s typical of the way we operate. We seldom get things “right” the first time. This is true of activities involving sex as well as spanking. We need to put in time and effort before finding our center.

I once asked Mrs. Lion how she learned to jerk a man off. She seemed surprised at the question and didn’t really have a clear answer. I have a crystal clear memory of how I learned to do it. Contrary to popular belief, little boys aren’t born knowing how to masturbate. Sure, we play with our little weenies but remain ignorant of the reason one would do it. I never thought my erections were associated with anything. It felt nice when I got one, but that’s it. When I was eleven, a kid I knew from school asked if he could come over and play.

The house was empty. We had a live-in maid. She was off Sundays and Thursdays. It was Thursday. We went up to my room. He suggested we get naked. That wasn’t very unusual. The innocent sexual play was something we did on occasion. It was usually minor genital touching. We had no notion of what to do. It was just a forbidden kind of play. So, he and I got naked. He asked if I would like him to teach me something. I agreed. He sat next to me on the bed and jerked me off.

I couldn’t believe the feeling. I was too young to produce semen. In fact, he kept going, and I kept having orgasms. He was a year older and much more mature. After he stopped, he jerked off. I never saw that before. It was a most educational afternoon. From then on, I understood what my weenie could do. I became a self-abuse frequent flyer. I wonder how Mrs. Lion learned. Did her previous husband teach her? I believe he was her first. How did other guys learn? I wonder. I imagine that younger men learned on the Internet. That wasn’t around when I was eleven. I am very curious about how women learned. It wasn’t intuitive for me. Was I unusual?