What’s the Big Deal?
I must be missing something. Lion wants to know why I think his masturbating is such a big deal. Um. Isn’t that what male chastity is about? I mean, sure it’s about locking him up, but the purpose of that is to keep his hands off. If he can’t touch, he can’t masturbate. I am in charge of any sex he gets. I realize he no longer wants to masturbate. He’s not even sure if he can anymore. Recently, he decided if I have such a fervent reaction to his masturbating, it must mean that he should not be allowed to touch himself at all.
We’ve been over this too. I don’t mind if he touches himself. He needs to adjust things from time to time. I know his hand wanders to play with his favorite toy. I’m fine with that. I mean, I’m fine now. Initially, when he was wild, I didn’t think he should touch himself at all. Obviously, that couldn’t work. He did need to avoid sitting on his balls and maneuver himself to be comfortable. Not being allowed to touch was unreasonable. I changed the rule from minor touching to touching up to orgasm not too long ago.
I guess the better question is why does Lion think masturbating shouldn’t be a big deal? He’s said he doesn’t want to masturbate. Again, he’s not even sure he could. Why should it matter if it’s a rule or not? Well, now it’s no longer a rule. Would I prefer he didn’t masturbate? Of course. Can he now masturbate if he wants to? Sure. Is that better, Lion?
Another “issue” is the cage. He says if I don’t want him to masturbate then I must not want him to touch himself at all. Therefore, he needs to be caged. Again, I never said he couldn’t touch himself at all. I guess in Lion’s black and white world, he either touches or doesn’t. However, he says he likes being wild much better than being locked up. I’ve never liked fighting with the cages or the need to stop what I wanted to do just to unlock him, so there’s no love lost there. I thought we were good without the cage. Yup, sometimes I don’t play with him as often as I should. I don’t think the cage really changes that. Except, of course, for the reluctance to unlock him because it means I’ll only have to fight with the cage to get him locked again. It has been much easier this past time.
Now for the biggest question of all: if he’s not locked up and he’s allowed to masturbate, can what we do really be called male chastity anymore? At that point, isn’t it just marriage. He doesn’t want to masturbate. I trust him not to cheat with other women because he’s told me he won’t cheat with other women. I’ve told him the same thing. With men, although for the record, it holds true for women too. I assume it holds true for men with him too.
I’m not saying we stop doing what we’ve been doing. We don’t need to call it anything different. I don’t think we ever really called it enforced male chastity. I never thought of it that way. Actually, I never thought of it any way other than my controlling when he gets an orgasm. The whole tantric idea never occurred to me. You either have sex or you don’t. There’s no stopping in the middle unless an issue comes up.
Anyway, I propose we don’t use the cage and Lion is allowed to masturbate if he wants to. I agree to still do what I’m supposed to do and play with him at least every other night unless one of us is sick, injured, etc. I’m not giving it a new, or old, name. To paraphrase one of Lion’s most hated phrases, “it is whatever it is.”