Everyone has their idea of what sex is all about. The first time we discover that if we rub a certain way, something new and amazing happens. Some people find out by accident. It feels good to touch down there. I wonder what will happen if I keep touching. Some of us are taught. A group of kids sit in a circle and play truth or dare. Tame questions about sex turn into dares to get naked. You get the picture.

The point is that most of us learned that sex was a finite process that began with genital stimulation and ended in orgasm. We males never really escape that perspective. Sex for us ends in ejaculation. We are designed to work that way. Male arousal isn’t gradual. Stimulate the penis enough, and we go from excited to ejaculation in three seconds. We are driven to get to that point.

Females are programmed to reach orgasm in a linear path. As stimulation continues, arousal gradually grows until orgasm finally happens. Many women can have multiple orgasms. This is no accident. To assure the survival of the species, the female has to remain receptive until the male can ejaculate. Nature is indifferent to whether or not she has an orgasm.

This difference in our design is central to male chastity. You can get a man’s attention by preventing ejaculation. Male masturbation is one strategy to keep him in heat. Both men and women will lose interest in sex when none is available. I think that the main reason most men masturbate their entire lives is that drive to stay ready to propagate. Mrs. Lion and I have learned that my libido is easily reduced to background noise simply by preventing ejaculation for some time.

This subject–lost male libido–doesn’t usually come up because most men freely masturbate. Those of us who try male chastity often start out on the theory that preventing the ability to ejaculate will result in massive arousal almost all the time. We think this will be fun and will drive us to be more attentive to our mates. We make the mistake of believing that our partners will like this idea because they will get more sexual attention.

For me, at least, it turned out that the constant arousal phase was pretty short. When we started, I would start to lose interest in sex after two or three weeks of chastity. Now, I start to lose interest after a few days. We’ve learned that keeping me interested is fairly easy. If Mrs. Lion gets me to the edge of orgasm every day or two, my arousal stays high. Even this fails after a while. She lets me ejaculate about once a week.

From the first day I suggested male chastity, Mrs. Lion insisted that I never masturbate. This rule wasn’t part of the male chastity game. She genuinely dislikes the idea of me providing my own sexual entertainment. When she told me, I don’t think she fully understood how something that simple would affect my libido. I didn’t know either. I jerked off when I felt sexual pressure building. I never thought about it. I just did it.

Now, I am in my ninth year of having no ability to get myself off. It’s probably too late for Mrs. Lion to decide to let me jerk off. I don’t know if I can. Even if I could relearn to do it, her feeling about it being wrong hasn’t changed. She wants ownership of my sexual pleasure. She always has, even before she knew I masturbated. She’s made it clear that part of being her husband is giving her full ownership of my orgasms. She didn’t think this was a D/S concept. She believes it’s part of the marriage vows. In that sense, we were practicing male orgasm control from the day she discovered that I was masturbating.

I know that most men jerk off. Like me, they never discussed it with their wives. Most women have some idea that they do it. In fact, my ex-wife would sometimes “help” me when she was too tired for sex. I would jerk off while she tickled my balls. We never discussed whether or not I jerked off when she wasn’t around. I doubt that she cared. Mrs. Lion cares and has made it crystal clear that I will not bring myself to ejaculate.

Here we are in the depths of winter. Maybe it’s the season, but very few bloggers I follow have written anything since Christmas. That’s a little surprising. It’s not like there is a ton of stuff to do in January unless you are in the Southern Hemisphere. What do I know? I miss the fun reading.

I’ve noticed that a disproportionately large percentage of people commenting on this site are men who say their wives are no longer interested in sex. Almost all of them lament that they can’t get their wives to provide sexual attention for them. There are a couple of ways to look at this. One is that male chastity can be a one-player game and add interest and excitement to masturbation.

Many guys who wear chastity devices don’t have keyholders. Many who do handle all the locking and unlocking themselves from what I see. It doesn’t matter. Wearing a male chastity device definitely adds excitement to a man’s sex life. Reading about the subject is also hot.

Couples who actively practice it can use the male orgasm control to provide an active sex life for a man whose wife has little or no interest in sex for herself. Male chastity is a game where the stakes can get high, for the man at least. Mrs. Lion is an expert at making me desperate to ejaculate. This is a game that values cock teasing. Fun for women who like to see men helplessly beg to get release.

Mrs. Lion is the first woman I’ve known who actively dislikes the idea of me masturbating. She simply doesn’t want me to do it. Other women, I’ve known, considered it a way to get me off without having to do anything. I never liked that aspect of it. For me, jerking off was a tension-relieving activity like jogging or lifting weights. It wasn’t that much fun, but I really missed it when I didn’t get to do it. Mrs. Lion doesn’t allow it, and I haven’t jerked off since December 2013. I don’t think about doing it anymore.

It appears that there are more reasons for men who don’t have active partners to read our blog than men and women who have active-if-kinky sex lives. I could be wrong. I’ll only find out if I hear from you.

This is me over nine years ago when I was allowed to jerk off.

I haven’t been in a great mood. My poor vision makes it difficult for me to do anything. I feel isolated and dependent as a result. The new puppy (six months old, now) has bursts of jumping on us and zooming around. Mrs. Lion gets extremely angry, and I worry she will hurt the dog without realizing it. It also upsets me when she gets that way. In fairness, I get very angry with the pup when she does the same thing to me. I’m a little more measured in my response but not successful in correcting it. We have a dog trainer coming to the house on Tuesday evening who may help us correct this behavior.

It’s obvious that the dog doesn’t understand what’s happening when she jumps on us. She doesn’t even know that we are angry. I think she believes we are joining in the fun game. I’m worried that she might get hurt unless we are both very careful. I have to keep the dog out of my office. The moment I sit in my desk chair, she starts jumping on me. A 50lb pup with sharp claws can do damage. We both have bruises and cuts as a result.

Puppies are like storms. They are both forces of nature. They can do damage but have no intention of hurting anyone. It’s just their nature. Fortunately, our dog will grow out of the crazy behavior and can be trained to control it in the meantime. At least, I hope she can.

Meanwhile, I’m happy with Mrs. Lion’s desire to give me more sex. I had a great time on Friday night. Her ability to get me off by hand is back, and she used it to warm me up for the oral main event. I find myself getting turned on when I think about it. Mrs. Lion wrote that she wonders if it was a good idea to train me out of masturbating. That surprised me. Does she have a use for me to jerk off? Almost nine years ago, when she locked me in a male chastity device and told me I could never masturbate again, she told me that she felt it was a sort of cheating. I wonder what made her reconsider it now.

I still remember how to do it. I don’t feel the desire. Yes, it’s fun to play with my penis and get hard. I don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t feel the desire to keep going until I ejaculate. I suppose that if I can be trained to be a neat eater, I can be trained to avoid getting myself off. I can understand why it made some sense to train me not to do it. If I can’t jerk off, then my only opportunity for sex is with my lioness. I can’t use the traditional male pressure release valve, my hand.

I missed it for a long time. For the first three years I was always locked in my male chastity device. Masturbation wasn’t possible. After that, I just “forgot” to do it. It’s a good example of conditioning, a surprisingly effective demonstration. I’m sure the conditioning can be reversed. I think Mrs. Lion wonders if reversing it would open a sexual Pandora’s box. If I am allowed to do it under her supervision, would I obediently avoid it other times? I think she decided it wasn’t worth the risk.

The (big) cat is out of the bag. Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com mentioned our very nice correspondence. It’s a little personal project to help fuel our real-life sex. The stories are designed to push our respective buttons. One advantage of being a sex blogger is that readers learn what turns us on in real life. Julie has been blogging longer than us. I’ve been enjoying her writing for almost eight years. I’ve read every post she’s written. She reads my writing too. We’ve seen each other naked in our published pictures. We’ve also become friends and help each other with our books.

The result of all this is that she knows exactly how to push my buttons. Once we enjoy the heat our writing produces, we send back our review of the writing. This serves to make the next story even closer to our sexual centers. Our spouses know of this. Mrs. Lion read Julie’s first story. She didn’t react much. This isn’t surprising. Her lack of interest in sex for herself makes a visceral response unlikely.

We started the project because I mentioned that I was having trouble getting my motor running. I don’t masturbate. Mrs. Lion strongly dislikes the idea of me jerking off. It was the first rule she made for me. She didn’t masturbate before she lost interest in sex. She tried it and didn’t like it. I liked it when I did it. Still, I understand her problem with it. Julie summed it up in her post, “Spanked for masturbating – part 1“:

“I think we can all admit that if we have a live-in partner, and you find out they have been masturbating, even if you are intellectually fine with it, and do it yourself, you are nonetheless just a touch annoyed, no? Certainly I am. Just a touch. I mean, he has almost 24×7 access to ME, why does he need to jerk off? What’s wrong with ME???? Who wouldn’t want to fuck THIS at every possible opportunity, am I right?”

How can she resist this?

Julie included an image of herself naked that makes her point. It really makes it! It’s hard to argue with that logic. Mrs. Lion’s point was that, in a sense, jerking off is a form of cheating. After all, she told me, I’m having sex without her. I can’t argue with that. In our relationship, I don’t have the 24×7 access to Mrs. Lion that Julie offers David. Still, I have to agree that Mrs. Lion owns my orgasms. She has 24×7 access to me!

As you might imagine, experienced writers like Julie and I can deliver exceptionally hot, custom porn. I love writing it, using my knowledge of her. She knows exactly how to get me hard and hungry. She definitely double teams me with Mrs. Lion.

Over the years, we’ve mentioned each other’s blogs in our writing. I don’t understand why, but bloggers avoid mentioning one another. This is odd since we read each other. How do I know? I don’t. Occasionally, our blog gets mentioned, which suggests the blogger reads us. I wonder if these people worry that if they point people at our blog, they will stop reading theirs. Silly!

If you ever wondered what sex bloggers do in their private lives, now you know. You might be surprised to learn that there is almost nothing private in our lives. Every single sexual activity, spanking, teasing, and orgasm either of us experienced has been chronicled here since 2014. Maybe this blogger doesn’t have a private life after all.