I think I need to address Lion’s cheating. The cheating I’m talking about is masturbating. Nope. He hasn’t and I don’t anticipate his doing so. But his concept of punishment and mine are different. When I said we’d be done, I meant just with male chastity. I didn’t mean we’d be done with snuggling and kissing and all other intimate touching. My thought was that if he had reached his limit of horniness and couldn’t possibly wait a second more for me to give him an orgasm, then he shouldn’t wait. Ever. Again.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t get to play with him ever again. I don’t know that we’d have the same arrangement of my playing with him six out of seven nights. There’d be no urgency for that anymore. We might snuggle every night, which we’ve gotten away from with our present arrangement. I’m not sure how often he’d have an orgasm. My guess is it would be whenever he wanted one because, he’s right in this regard, once I started I’d just keep going to the logical conclusion. It would also mean no edging to heighten the excitement up to the main event.

Somehow he’s gotten the idea that he wouldn’t learn his lesson my way. Oh, there’s no lesson to learn. He doesn’t get three strikes and he’s out. He’s just out. Consider if he cheated on me with another woman. Would I give him three strikes? I doubt it. I suppose I’d have to determine if his cheating was warranted. Did I suddenly stop keeping up my end of the bargain? Did I start working late and no longer pay any attention to him? Did I take all the money and go on a cruise to Mexico and leave him behind for two weeks? If I caused his cheating, then I suppose I could give him his three strikes for cheating. Then again, I’d need to be given some strikes too.

So if he doesn’t lose the intimacy or orgasms, what good is stopping male chastity? He said he assumed I’d continue on being his disciplining wife. Would I? I don’t know. In some respects, they seem to go hand in hand. In others, I can see how they’re separate. I’m just not sure I’d feel obligated or invested enough to continue it. I’m really not sure.

I just thought of a way to put this in more perspective. What if Lion found out I was masturbating rather than asking him for sex? How would he feel? I think he’d be crushed. I wouldn’t be cheating with someone else, but I would be telling him I don’t want him either. To me, that’s very similar to his masturbating. He’d be telling me he couldn’t control himself for me to give him an orgasm. I don’t think either one of us wants to hurt the other like that. For the record, and I can’t believe I feel the need to say it, I’m not masturbating either.

Having said all this, guess where Lion is right now. Yup. In his cage. Why? Because sometimes he whines so much it’s just easier to do what he wants to shut him up. And yes, I know I should have spanked him for whining. I’m pretty sure he still would have whined. And I would have put him in the damn cage. And he wouldn’t have masturbated even if I’d left him wild.

[Lion — I understand how she might be hurt if I jerked off. It’s just that to a guy, masturbation is a little like breathing. It’s a lifelong activity that doesn’t merit much thought. That may be one reason why male chastity hardware is important as a tool to train a male to stop jerking off.

I don’t think I will masturbate. But I am very concerned that something as important and ingrained as our disciplinary relationship would be shattered by jerking off. I think it is too important to be stopped for any behavioral error I make.

Speaking of behavioral errors, it is not too late for punishing me for whining, if that’s what I did. The latest mention of a male chastity device was just last night.]

In my post yesterday (“Deconstructing Male Chastity“) I mentioned that one of the benefits of male chastity and wearing a chastity device is preventing unauthorized masturbation. Obviously, if my penis is locked in a chastity device, masturbation is extremely difficult. In my opinion, it isn’t worth it. I also mentioned that some guys are allowed supervised masturbation. Their keyholders unlock them and tell them to jerk off while they “supervise”. Mrs. Lion commented on this in her post yesterday (“Things May Be Getting Back To Normal“). She wrote that the only reason she could see to let me do it myself would be if she was tired of doing it for me.

That’s not us. Before Mrs. Lion I have had to do this.

I think it would be a mistake to allow me to get myself off. Yes, it’s a sort of sexy idea to be told to jerk off in front of someone. The problem is that if I can jerk off under supervision, I can also jerk off without it as well. I realize that I would be breaking a serious rule if I did. Chances are I wouldn’t. However, our current arrangement sends me a very strong message. When my penis is locked in a device, Mrs. Lion locks me in and unlocks me when she wishes my penis to be free. Similarly, if she wants me sexually aroused she will do it with her hands or mouth. I am not allowed to participate.

It may seem subtle, but there is a profound message in all of this. The fact that she and she alone sexually stimulates me makes it very clear that the penis that is attached to me belongs to her. More importantly, I understand that she likes it and wants to play with it. She doesn’t see getting me off as a chore. I think that being told to masturbate under her supervision sends the message that she isn’t interested in making that effort.

When she put this rule in place — no masturbation and my penis is her exclusive property — I don’t think she was fully aware of how significant it was to me. Ever since puberty my penis has been a favorite toy. I loved it if I could get someone else to play with it, but was content to play with it alone if no playmate was available.

Mrs. Lion took the toy away from me. She didn’t say that I could play with it if she wasn’t using it or that I could play with it if she told me I could. She said that I couldn’t play with it at all. Ever. It was no longer mine. It is her exclusive property. Supervised masturbation is saying that I can borrow the toy with her permission.

I know that a lot of women like to watch a man masturbate. I’ve had girlfriends who asked me to do it for them. I obliged. I didn’t see the value for them and I hated wasting the semen. The message was very clear: it was my toy that I could share with them. Under my current situation, Mrs. Lion generally lets me get to the point that I really, really want my toy to get some attention. I know I’m not allowed to play with it and I’m desperate for her to spend some time giving me an orgasm.

If she included supervised masturbation in her bag of tricks, I could see rationalizing my need to ejaculate with the idea that she lets me do it anyway, why not do it now? Since I am never allowed to make myself ejaculate, this ambiguity doesn’t exist for me. I think that’s exactly the right thing.

There is a gray area. She doesn’t seem to mind if I get myself erect if I don’t have an intention to get off. Every now and then I take advantage of this. Sometimes, if I want to take a picture of my erect penis and she isn’t available, I produce the erection and photograph it. No big deal. I’ve always reasoned that all I’m doing is making myself hornier. She likes that. She likes me to be desperate to get off while understanding I can’t do anything about it myself. I don’t think that is a great joy to her, but it amuses her. Obviously, that’s more fun than watching me jerk off. The closest I get to supervised masturbation is watching her jerk me off.

Let’s face it, everything we are writing about relates back in one way or another to male masturbation. I’m defining the term “masturbation” narrowly. It applies to any activity that will bring a male to ejaculation without inserting it in an orifice. That means oral sex, anal sex, and of course vaginal sex are not forms of masturbation. The vast majority of my sexual experience is masturbation.

I guess I have to open the topic up a bit. Most of my sexual experience doesn’t result in ejaculation. I’m brought close to it, but not permitted to actually ejaculate. I don’t think that matters very much in terms of this post. I’m also assuming that masturbation includes any penis stimulation that isn’t actually inside of an orifice. That means that when Mrs. Lion plays with me, she’s masturbating me. Fair enough?

Enforced male chastity by definition is preventing masturbation. Chastity devices were invented in the late 19th century for that express purpose. In those days it was believed that masturbation led to insanity and idiocy. Our sex life, Mrs. Lion and I, is 100% about male masturbation and oral sex. My penis is the focus of all of our sexual activity. Mrs. Lion considers it her penis since she controls it. I just carry it around.

When I am allowed to ejaculate, about one-third of the time it happens in Mrs. Lion’s mouth. She really likes that. However, it takes a lot of energy and uncomfortable positioning to suck me so she usually defaults to using her hand.

Contrary to almost all other male sexual activity, mine would be best for her if I could get to orgasm as rapidly as possible. Any energy she expends getting me to the edge isn’t particularly pleasurable for her. I’ve researched training a male to ejaculate on command. It’s largely a myth. It takes as long as it takes for me to get to the top of my orgasmic curve.

Mrs. Lion uses some tricks to help get me more aroused. After all, no matter how talented she is with her hands, it’s still jerking me off. I can get bored with that. She’s discovered that various BDSM activities from spanking to cock and ball torture gets me more excited. The more excited I am, the more likely she can get me to the edge of orgasm.

Obviously, the long lead up to the point when I’m close to ejaculation is more work than fun for Mrs. Lion. She starts enjoying herself when I am close to the edge. Ideally, it would be very helpful if she had a way to save some work getting me to that point. Toward that end, I’ve acquired some male masturbators. These are devices designed to get a man off.

There are surprisingly few on the market if you don’t include the cheap vibrators. So far, the only reliable one Mrs. Lion can use on me is our Magic Wand vibrator. This is a powerful hand-held vibrator that’s been on the market for years. We have a rechargeable version that she moves on the bottom of my penis from head to about halfway down. It’s a very reliable way to get me off.

Venus 2000 in action.

There are masturbators that are worn over the penis designed to feel like oral or vaginal sex. The best that I’ve tried is the Venus 2000 by ABCO. This machine uses a vacuum pump and complex valves to create pulsating suction. It has a “receiver” that is a tube with a silicone liner that pulsates from the vacuum. I had one many years ago. It took me quite a while to figure out which settings worked best. Once I did it was really great. The big drawback is that the receiver is heavy and you have to hold it in place. The biggest problem is the price. It costs about $1000. You can control the length of each stroke. You can also make it go faster or slower. So far, it’s the only one that actually worked for me.

There are newer, less expensive devices. One is the Lelo F1. This device is a cylinder with a silicone sleeve inside and a powerful vibrator. The vibrator can be controlled to provide more or less power. What makes this device potentially interesting is that it contains a nice selection of sensors that report the state of both the machine and the penis inside it. There is a demo phone app that allows you to control the vibrator and observe the readings of the sensors. The manufacturer has just released a software development kit that will allow programmers to build applications that can use the feedback from the sensors to change the way the device behaves. Theoretically, this biofeedback should allow optimization of sensations.

The Lelo F1. Penis sleeve and powerful vibrator with sensors.

I tried it as it is now. The vibrations are powerful. The manufacturer claims they are so powerful that you will feel them throughout your penis and they will stimulate you to a wonderful orgasm. I didn’t get that result. If I inserted my soft penis, the device couldn’t get me hard. If I inserted my erect penis, it felt good but the sensations didn’t build to the point that I was even close to an orgasm. Perhaps if someone writes an app with the biofeedback from the sensors, the device would be smart enough to find the best sensations for me.

We only tried it once. That’s not really fair. I think Mrs. Lion will try again. I don’t have a lot of confidence that it will really do the trick. The reason for this is that the concept of vibrating my entire penis enough to get all of the right nerve endings seems unlikely. I’ll watch out to see if an app is developed and will see.

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer-controlled.

The only other “real” masturbator is the Autoblow this is a tube with a silicone sleeve inside. The sleeve is connected to a motor drive that moves up and down the same way a partner’s mouth might move. The latest version the “ai” claims to have artificial intelligence incorporated in its design. The manufacturer hired a machine learning design company to analyze thousands of porn blow job videos to simulate how the end-to-end experience worked. Then, the manufacturer used a microprocessor and various sensors to simulate that motion with the Autoblow.

I purchased one (the price varies anywhere from $150-$250 depending on current sales). It has 10 different masturbation patterns. Mrs. Lion and I tried it and I sampled each of the patterns. Some felt better than others. During that first session, it couldn’t get me close. Unlike the other masturbators I’ve tried, this one may have the potential to do the job helping Mrs. Lion get me to the edge. We will try it again and see if we can’t figure it out. The big drawback with this device as well as the others is that they require lube. That means that when Mrs. Lion decides to take over, she will either have to deal with a lubed penis or get me cleaned off before she can do her thing. Cleaning me off takes time and is distracting. It could very well destroy the progress the automation gave her.

The Hot Octopus Jett has two powerful vibrators: a low-frequency and a high-frequency unit.

There are other vibrators that attach to the penis. Most of them sit under the head at the sensitive spot. I tried a few. It’s possible that one or two could have got me off. I didn’t feel that really nice buildup Mrs. Lion’s hand or mouth provides. Maybe I’m spoiled. More likely, we haven’t discovered the right combination of devices and settings that will do the job.

People who make sex toys are not generally very sophisticated. They also don’t have big research budgets. The problem is that while jerking off looks the same from the outside, getting it just right is a very individual problem to solve. I think that the hybrid of the F1 and the Autoblow offer the possibility of a really effective sex machine for men.

Pressure sensors to record how hard the penis is along with temperature sensors, etc. could provide the sort of biofeedback that would allow the Autoblow motion to be optimized from the beginning of a session to the climax. The biggest problem with products like the Venus 2000 is that their motion is constant. Mrs. Lion knows that she has to vary the speed and pressure to provide me with the most arousal. A device like the Autoblow that could sense my reaction to it and adjust, could offer a reasonable way to come close to real sex.

Even though it’s tiring and somewhat boring for her, Mrs. Lion’s hand and mouth represent the only reliable way to get me to the edge. Thank you, sweetie!

A

Mrs. Lion surprised me Thursday night. After her shower, she came back into the bedroom and without a word got out the lightweight Tenderizer paddle and walked over to me. Still silent, she stood by my side of the bed. I asked her what she was up to?

“What do you think? You are getting spanked for being snarky yesterday and today.”

Not wanting to get into more trouble, I got myself into position. Mrs. Lion had chosen the lightweight tenderizer paddle. This particular panel was one of the first we bought on Etsy.com. One side is full of little points the other is smooth. This paddle stings more than any other she has. It doesn’t inflict much damage, but I really hate the way it feels during my spanking.

I yelped from the very first swat. She made a point of pulling my cheeks apart and spanking the tender flesh inside. Because the paddle was so large, she couldn’t get all the way into my crack but got far enough to elicit some particularly loud cries from me. Mrs. Lion has learned to ignore any sounds I make. She calmly goes about her business. After she finished, she said,

“Now you’ll remember to watch what you say, at least for a while.”

lion's naked butt
That’s my bottom after a spanking

Hoo boy, I sure will! Now in the cold light of a new day, I’m not so positive. Sometimes I don’t learn as quickly as I should. If Mrs. Lion catches me even if I make a little slip, and spanks me for it, my confidence that I will behave the way she likes will grow.

There is something important that happens when Mrs. Lion focuses on observing my behavior and punishing infractions promptly: I will learn not to make those particular mistakes, as she says, at least for a while.

I believe that she changes as well. The best way to explain it is that she learns to expect the behavior she has corrected. For example, one rule that she has enforced mercilessly is that she must eat first. I have to either wait for her to begin or get her permission before I can begin eating. I rarely slip on this. When she went to visit her family back East, she found herself uncomfortable at meals when members of her family ate before her. She had been conditioned to observe and react when the rule was broken.

I think the same thing is going to happen as a result of her enforcing the rules about my behavior. I’m hoping she will observe behavior that annoys her and will deal with it promptly. If she does, it will become second nature to her. I think that will be very healthy for our marriage.

Lelo F1s

After my punishment, we rested for a while and then Mrs. Lion got out our new Lelo F1s male masturbator. This is a high-tech device designed to get me very excited and even ejaculate if Mrs. Lion wishes. It’s controlled via a phone app. The current version has 10 sensors that report various conditions about my penis. Currently, there isn’t any software that makes use of this information to change the way the product stimulates me. It appears to have two vibrators inside: one with low, thumping, and one that is higher frequency vibration. The high-frequency vibrator can be adjusted to make it vibrate faster or slower. The low-frequency vibrator can be adjusted in intensity only.

Mrs. Lion began by using her hand to make me hard. Then she put the machine over my penis and turned it on. It took us a little while to figure out how to couple it via Bluetooth with my cell phone. I managed to stay fairly hard until we got the thing working. The sensations were less than thrilling. I tried a wide variety of settings. A few felt pretty good, but there was nothing to get me even close to orgasm.

Autoblow ai

Maybe if someone writes an app that makes use of the sensors to vary the vibrations to maximize pleasure, it could work. Right now, I would label this product as pretty useless. It got fairly good reviews from people on the web. I don’t know why. It just didn’t hit me in the right spots. My next experiment will be with the Autoblow ai. This device is one of the oldest and most successful male masturbators on the market.

It works by having a moving sleeve outside of a silicone sleeve into which the penis is inserted. The sleeve moves up and down stimulating the penis. The older versions of this device maintained a steady up-and-down movement over the full length of the penis. The user could adjust the speed for maximum pleasure. The new ai model is much more sophisticated. It still has the same mechanical up and down motion. However, it’s capable of changing the length of the stroke, the speed, and where on the shaft of the penis it’s operating.

The manufacturer struggled through watching several thousand porno videos of blowjobs. They analyze the mouth movement of the porno actors and programmed the Autoblow to simulate the same actions. It sounds like it’s great. I don’t believe it has the intelligence to understand how excited the person using it becomes. This could mean that people who don’t react in the same time as the program expects, might not have as much fun. We will get one of these and report on our experiences.

After the failed F1s experiment, Mrs. Lion had me wash off the lube from our machine test, and then she used her mouth to stimulate me. No machine will ever feel as good as Mrs. Lion’s mouth. She knows how to play me like a Stradivarius. I loved every second of her sucking. I didn’t get all the way to the edge, but I got very close. When she decided to stop I was very sorry. I’m still really horny the next day.

December 26 is Boxing Day. Traditionally, it’s the day people used to return or exchange gifts. For me it was a day of a sore bottom, a machine test, and a great blowjob. I think that’s way better than having to stand in line to return or exchange gifts. My bottom and penis got a good workout. I hated one and love the other. It’s a bittersweet life I lead.