By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

Sexually, we are nearly back to normal. Sunday night, Mrs. Lion edged me again. This time, she pushed me a little closer to ejaculation. I asked her if she was gradually moving me closer and closer to a ruined orgasm. I don’t think she intends to give me one, but the ultimate frustration occurs when I’m just one or two strokes away from bliss.

Of course, one or two strokes from ejaculation is also one or two strokes from that ruined orgasm. Ever since we agreed ruined orgasms are okay with me, she’s been much more daring.

The fact that she can adjust just how excited she gets me without any concern that I will take things into my own hand is a powerful symbol of my acceptance of her control.

Mrs. Lion isn’t inclined to use her sexual control as a way of making me do other things; you know, housework, doggy tricks, etc. Sexual control exists pretty much in isolation for us. That makes it a little harder to understand what, if any changes this permanent power exchange makes in our lives.

Her control isn’t extreme. She doesn’t make me wait weeks to ejaculate. But she always expresses her power by bringing me to the edge of orgasm every time, even when she intends to eventually let me ejaculate. On a very primal level I accept that my sexual satisfaction is completely in her hands.

In some respects this feels like a sexy game. I suppose it is. It’s a game that’s now in its sixth year. Not one ejaculation has been at my own hands. Not one occurred unless Mrs. Lion wanted to give it to me. I am 100% under her sexual control.

This is so ingrained now that I don’t think about it very often. I just make myself available any time she wants. Sure, I still hope for that chance to come, but I never expect it. I don’t know how Mrs. Lion thinks about this. I wonder if she recognizes how powerful her control is for me. I wonder if she enjoys it. I certainly do.

The fact that this is fun for me and I look forward to each contact regardless of outcome, is what I think gives this power exchange its force. I can’t wait to feel her hand on my penis. I look forward to each time she teases me. It feels good. I’ll happily follow her around like a puppy dog if it means she’ll play with me.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t focus on how long or frustrating it is to wait for my next ejaculation. I focus on how exciting it is each time I feel her finger under the head of my penis. When she slowly moves her hand down my tummy and over the back of my penis it’s all I can do to not ask her to pick it up and rub that magic spot. I don’t of course. She wouldn’t like that.

It’s interesting that most of what I read about enforced male chastity discusses intense frustration and desire to ejaculate. I can honestly say that isn’t how I feel. I’m conditioned to crave her hand (or other toy) on that magic spot. When she masturbates me, her hand stimulates it very nicely. I’m addicted to her touch.

If you think about it, this is a very different male sexual motivation. Before we began enforced male chastity, I wanted to come. My focus was on ejaculating one way or another. Sure, I had my favorites — oral sex, for example is still on the top of my list — but I really don’t think about actually having that orgasm. I’m much more focused on feeling that stimulation that makes me hard and straining to come.

I’m not saying that I don’t care whether or not I get to ejaculate. Of course I do. I don’t expect to and I’m completely happy if I don’t. I just want to feel that almost-electric thrill I get when she plays with that special spot. When I wrote about her left hand, I was alluding to my fixation on feeling it stimulate me.

I think that for a long time I misunderstood one of the principal realities of enforced male chastity. In the beginning, I thought it was about withholding ejaculation. More recently, I thought it was all about sex. I suppose that is still true, it is about sex. But I think the main point is that it’s about using sex to establish a climate of obedience.

Just because Mrs. Lion doesn’t take advantage of my conditioning, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been conditioned. I realize that my desire for sexual contact drives me to want to please her. I don’t mean this in the sappy way that the chastity fantasies talk about it. I don’t have an uncontrollable desire to iron clothes. I’m not a housecleaning addict. But I am absolutely addicted to her touch.

It’s up to her if she wants to make use of this addiction. She certainly can require me to do things to earn her touch. She chooses not to; at least so far. That doesn’t change the fact that I dream about her playing with my penis and making me rock hard. I don’t dream about ejaculating. I dream about how good it feels as she brings me closer and closer to the edge. Truth be told, I would do anything she wants to earn that sensation.

I think the majority of couples who practice enforced male chastity aren’t going for sexually-induced slavery. I suspect that the women agreed to become keyholders because they want to please their partners. I don’t think that makes a bit of difference. If both partners faithfully play their roles, he will be conditioned the same way I am. It’s classical behavioral psychology.

While most of us think about behavioral control in terms of punishment for breaking rules, the most powerful control comes from providing pleasure for good behavior. BF Skinner did a lot of work on this in the middle of the 20th century. Mrs. Lion’s control of my orgasms and arousal is a powerful motivator for me to please her. It doesn’t really matter if she ever makes use of her control. She has it anyway.

If you practice enforced male chastity have you realized the changes in you this control has made? Have you ever discussed it with your partner? This post is my way of opening that conversation in our house. I have no idea what effect it will have on what we do. I suspect nothing will change.

If the tables were turned, my curiosity would drive me to test this assumption. I wonder if Mrs. Lion is similarly motivated. If she is, I’m sure she won’t tell me. She’ll just quietly go about her business and smile when she’s proven her point.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm, Orgasm denial
lion's new fleshlight
This is the Fleshlight.

Lion was looking forward to being less needy. He didn’t want to bother me for help to the bathroom or getting medication or getting food. I never saw it as a problem, except for when he’d ask for something and I’d get it and just get sitting down and he’d ask for something else. That part I could do without. Luckily, he paid more attention to his requests after I pointed out my up-and-down behavior.

Now that he’s getting around better, we’re trying to get his sexual activity back on track. And now he’s becoming needy in that department. Not overly needy. I think it’s just the difference between no activity and activity that it’s so noticeable.

I’ve been edging him the past few nights. At this point, he’s very horny. I was wondering how long I should make him wait. My initial theory of having an orgasm every time we played, sort of priming the pump, fell by the wayside the other night. Lion said he’d rather be edged to build up some steam. So how long until the steam is built up?

If memory serves, there’s a sweet spot. A bell curve of sorts. The first few days gets him horny. Another few days gets him frustrated. And then another few days gets him to the point that he doesn’t care anymore. I may be off in my counting. There may be more than a few days in each category. And there may be more categories. The point is, I should aim for the sweet spot.

However, as we told you the other day, Lion ordered a Fleshlight. He wasn’t happy about how long it would take to get here so he ordered another one from Amazon. It arrived today. All I can say is, “Wow! It’s weird.” It’s gooey. It reminds me of the do-it-yourself dildo goop we got. Before it set, it was like pudding. The Fleshlight seems to be a cross between pudding and gelatin texture.

Needless to say, Lion is eager to test it. He’ll get his chance later on. I wonder if I’ll just try to edge him with it or let him come. I guess that all depends on how much he likes it. Sweet spot or not.

[Lion — FYI I start to get horny by day four. This keeps increasing until about day 10. At that point, I get very frustrated as well as horny. By day 14 or 15 I start losing interest.]

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal
horny lion
Please don’t stop!

Saturday night I asked Mrs. Lion if we could snuggle. She agreed and after we snuggled a while her hands found their way between my legs. Without too much effort on her part, I was fully erect. It feels so good when she massages my penis. She knows just how to find the “good” spots.

It took her a while, but eventually she got me very close to an orgasm. I wasn’t so close that there was any danger of an accident. But it was close enough to make me wonder if she might take it all the way. She didn’t. She waited a bit tickling my balls, and then started all over again. She got me pretty close and stopped. Then she informed me that it wasn’t my night.

This was the most normal session we’ve had since my surgery. I’m very happy she didn’t let me come. I think it’s time to build up my sensitivity again. Saturday night she used her classic form of edging. Mrs. Lion has more than one in her bag of tricks. I’ve discovered that there are a couple of flavors of edging, at least for me.

There was the kind I experienced on Saturday night. That’s when there is a nice, slow buildup of excitement that almost convinces me I’m going to make it over the top. This is the classic format we followed almost all of the last five years. I like it; obviously. If Mrs. Lion repeats it several times (at least three or four I’ve discovered), I’m left strongly hoping that I will be able to ejaculate. If she does it less than that, I’m left excited but not really longing for release.

The other flavor is fairly new. Mrs. Lion started doing it once she realized I am okay with getting a ruined orgasm. This technique involves using her classic hand job to get me close, just like in the first type. The difference is that instead of waiting until my excitement subsides, she gives bursts of short fast strokes over my sensitive spot, pausing a few seconds between bursts. I feel myself getting closer and closer to the point of no return.

lion being edged
This is type II edging. Mrs. Lion keeps her hand over my sensitive spot and moves it quickly in short bursts. It’s very intense!
(Click image to view larger)

When she senses I am almost there, she’ll stop stimulating near the head. She’ll let me calm down just a little. Then, another small group of short fast strokes. Once more, I’m sure it’s going to be too late. But it isn’t. She waits a few seconds and give me one or two short bursts. I’m right on the knife’s edge of a ruined orgasm. She waits a little bit and repeats.

She’s gotten very good at this, though about half the time I end up with a ruined orgasm. Let’s face it, she’s really playing with fire. I think that with experience she will be able to reliably perform this edging without pushing me too far.

When she’s done, I’m hoping in my heart of hearts that she is going to give me release. I may not have had a ruined orgasm, or for that matter, a full one, but all I can think about is getting there. Her hand stays at the base of my penis. I desperately try to hump my way over the top. Of course I can’t. She lets her hand ride up and down with my body providing no stimulation.

Then she will let go and wait a bit. Finally, she’ll move over and briefly suck me. She doesn’t do it enough to give me a sense that I’m going to get relief. But she does do it enough to remind me who owns my sexual pleasure.

Before she can get to the second, more intense form of edging, she has to get me all the way into the first. Up until now I just simply haven’t been able to do it. The times she let me ejaculate since my surgery, there was almost no plateau between arousal and orgasm. Saturday night was the first time my classic response showed itself.

This means that my sexual physical therapy is working. Now, if she wants, she can begin with phase 2 edging. Hopefully, we can avoid a ruined orgasm for a while. I think that the practice I need requires that I stay maximally frustrated for days before I get sweet relief.

For the record, I produced some precum on Saturday night. It didn’t show up while she was masturbating me, but dripped out after I got soft. That’s significant. It means that the connections are returning between my brain and my sex organs.

I have to admit that I never realized there was more than one kind of edging. Mrs. Lion’s discovery has added a new twist to an old story. I like it a lot. It was very easy to accept phase 1 edging, even for many days on end. It’s very difficult to accept even two days of phase 2. I think that’s the way it should be.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial, Rules

tender9zer paddle on lion's buttI lied. I said I was going to give Lion orgasms until he had a normal one. Oops. Last night I just edged him. So sorry.

I’d like to say it occurred to me that he’d get to a normal orgasm faster if I edged him a lot before I let him come again, but I just now thought of that. I was really just being mean to him by leaving him frustrated. Except that I wasn’t being mean. I was trying to get back to the fundamentals of enforced chastity. He doesn’t get to come every time.

On that note, he shouldn’t even expect to be edged every time we snuggle. He asked if we were going to snuggle last night, after he woke up from one of his many naps. A few minutes after I snuggled in he asked if we were going to do anything. My first thought was that we were doing something. We were snuggling. But Lion’s “do anything” means something sexual. I know he went three weeks or so without any sexual activity, (perish the thought!) but not everything revolves around sex. Right now he’s thinking, “It could.”

I’m sure he’s also lamenting the fact that his sexual activity has been largely vanilla. I tied his balls up once. Apparently swatting his balls doesn’t count as play. I don’t think it’s a very vanilla thing to do but from a post a few days ago it doesn’t seem like he agrees. I don’t want to break out the Icy Hot just yet. He needs to be able to get to the bathroom quickly to wash off if it gets too hot. I can certainly use clothespins and Velcro.

Lion even thinks he could handle punishment swats. I think he could handle modified ones since he hasn’t had any in quite a while. I’m more concerned with his being able to get into position at the bottom of the bed for them. Of course, I could just have him roll over and deliver them. Where he is in relation to the bed isn’t crucial. So maybe the rules should be in full force again. He’s been following them anyway.

Let’s see how it goes. I’ll enforce the rules starting today. May god have mercy on his butt.

[Lion — There are other punishments just as effective as spanking and Mrs. Lion’s disposal. No, I don’t mean Icy Hot. She has lots of soap that can be used and plenty of very mean pinchy things. However, I agree that spanking is her preferred way to punish me.]