Blogs like ours often provide the first information people interested in enforced chastity discover. I can’t help but notice that my take on this is very different than it was five years ago. I wonder if the change is me evolving or the actual kink itself changing as it matures.
Consider this: Five years ago the main focus of chastity writing centered on hardware. People expressed enormous concern about security. They worried that if they could escape from a device, they weren’t really practicing enforced chastity. Coming in a close second, was discussion about sizing. The sizing conversation was heavily colored by security concerns.
For example, people agonized over the diameter of the base ring. Since this ring anchors the device, the common belief was that it needed to be as tight as possible to prevent escape. A great deal of conversation centered around ways to relieve the painful irritation caused by a too tight base ring.
The only reason people were concerned about base ring diameter was that the looser it is, the more easily the penis can be pulled out of the chastity device. As many of us have discovered, a properly-sized base ring is very comfortable and is sufficient to make pullout challenging.
By now I think that most of us recognize that chastity devices attached with a cock-and-ball base ring are escapable. I also think that we recognize the reason we are in chastity devices is because we want to wear them.
This comes down to a very old BDSM question: Should bondage, in general, be inescapable, or should it just be sufficiently restrictive to keep the bottom under control? From a safety perspective, bondage like passwords share an important characteristic: the more secure they are, the more difficult to manage on a day-to-day basis.
I know that with some effort and pain I can pull my penis out of my Jail Bird. So what? I’m the one who wants to be locked up. Why would I want to escape? A chastity device only needs to be secure enough to force some thought before escape is attempted. In over five years I’ve never felt even slightly tempted to pull out of mine.
The other big topic of conversation five years ago was device fitting. The topic still remains pretty popular on chastity forums. I’ve discovered that fitting is way simpler than I thought when I started out.
The original thinking was that a chastity device should fit like a sock fits over a foot. It should cover the entire foot without changing its size. When that translates to penises, it means that the cage should comfortably accommodate a flaccid penis. This is where lots of problems start happening. Unlike our feet, our penises are not the same size all the time. My flaccid length varies from about 2 1/2 inches to an inch and 1/2.
The penis is designed to be extremely flexible so that it stays out of the way except when needed for sex. So, there’s lots and lots of conversation about just how long that cage should be. As I’ve written before, I’ve gone through several iterations in terms of the length of my Jail Bird. Each and every one was comfortable.
In my case, my concern was that my urethra remain centered in the opening provided for it. Movement invariably caused urine spray. Each time I had my Jail Bird shortened, urethra position improved. Comfort never decreased. Finally, I had the device shortened to just 1 inch. To my surprise it’s absolutely comfortable.
My experience proves that the length of the chastity device’s cage isn’t critical at all. In fact, the shorter it is the easier it is to wear.
There are three dimensions required when sizing a chastity device: the diameter of the base ring, the diameter of the cage or tube, and its length. There are a few other tweaks that can be made, such as the amount of room allowed for the scrotum to fit between the base ring and the cage. However, most devices have a decent space there and rarely need to be adjusted.
It turns out that most penises fit comfortably in a cage with a diameter between 1 1/4 and one and 1/2 inches. It’s easy to measure the diameter. Just lay your flaccid penis across a ruler and note the width. If the cage is too narrow it can cause physical problems. If it is too wide, it may allow the urethra to wander. Since it is so easy to measure, it’s really not a big deal. Most off-the-shelf devices have a diameter between 1 1/4 and 1 1/2 inches.
Another big topic of conversation has been how long a man should wait between ejaculations. A lot of guys start out treating wait times like a contest. The guys who wait the longest are “best” at male chastity. I don’t think that’s true. My evolved view is that how long I have to wait isn’t important at all. What is important is that I have no input into when I get an orgasm.
I’m not claiming that hardware is no longer important. The vast majority of us have a fascination with penis bondage. I find it impossible to resist the temptation to try new hardware. However, I realize that my interest in the hardware is really orthogonal to my actual enforced chastity. I’ve been left wild for months at a time without anything changing in terms of my being controlled by my lioness.
I like the direction our kink is evolving. I think were starting to realize that interest in chastity devices is a separate hobby from male chastity. Yes, they go together, but if you’ve surrendered sexual control as I have, that surrender doesn’t require a lock around my penis.