By:
In: Lion's Journal, Chastity hardware

Blogs like ours often provide the first information people interested in enforced chastity discover. I can’t help but notice that my take on this is very different than it was five years ago. I wonder if the change is me evolving or the actual kink itself changing as it matures.

Consider this: Five years ago the main focus of chastity writing centered on hardware. People expressed enormous concern about security. They worried that if they could escape from a device, they weren’t really practicing enforced chastity. Coming in a close second, was discussion about sizing. The sizing conversation was heavily colored by security concerns.

For example, people agonized over the diameter of the base ring. Since this ring anchors the device, the common belief was that it needed to be as tight as possible to prevent escape. A great deal of conversation centered around ways to relieve the painful irritation caused by a too tight base ring.

The only reason people were concerned about base ring diameter was that the looser it is, the more easily the penis can be pulled out of the chastity device. As many of us have discovered, a properly-sized base ring is very comfortable and is sufficient to make pullout challenging.

By now I think that most of us recognize that chastity devices attached with a cock-and-ball base ring are escapable. I also think that we recognize the reason we are in chastity devices is because we want to wear them.

This comes down to a very old BDSM question: Should bondage, in general, be inescapable, or should it just be sufficiently restrictive to keep the bottom under control? From a safety perspective, bondage like passwords share an important characteristic: the more secure they are, the more difficult to manage on a day-to-day basis.

I know that with some effort and pain I can pull my penis out of my Jail Bird. So what? I’m the one who wants to be locked up. Why would I want to escape? A chastity device only needs to be secure enough to force some thought before escape is attempted. In over five years I’ve never felt even slightly tempted to pull out of mine.

The other big topic of conversation five years ago was device fitting. The topic still remains pretty popular on chastity forums. I’ve discovered that fitting is way simpler than I thought when I started out.

The original thinking was that a chastity device should fit like a sock fits over a foot. It should cover the entire foot without changing its size. When that translates to penises, it means that the cage should comfortably accommodate a flaccid penis. This is where lots of problems start happening. Unlike our feet, our penises are not the same size all the time. My flaccid length varies from about 2 1/2 inches to an inch and 1/2.

The penis is designed to be extremely flexible so that it stays out of the way except when needed for sex. So, there’s lots and lots of conversation about just how long that cage should be. As I’ve written before, I’ve gone through several iterations in terms of the length of my Jail Bird. Each and every one was comfortable.

In my case, my concern was that my urethra remain centered in the opening provided for it. Movement invariably caused urine spray. Each time I had my Jail Bird shortened, urethra position improved. Comfort never decreased. Finally, I had the device shortened to just 1 inch. To my surprise it’s absolutely comfortable.

My experience proves that the length of the chastity device’s cage isn’t critical at all. In fact, the shorter it is the easier it is to wear.

There are three dimensions required when sizing a chastity device: the diameter of the base ring, the diameter of the cage or tube, and its length. There are a few other tweaks that can be made, such as the amount of room allowed for the scrotum to fit between the base ring and the cage. However, most devices have a decent space there and rarely need to be adjusted.

It turns out that most penises fit comfortably in a cage with a diameter between 1 1/4 and one and 1/2 inches. It’s easy to measure the diameter. Just lay your flaccid penis across a ruler and note the width. If the cage is too narrow it can cause physical problems. If it is too wide, it may allow the urethra to wander. Since it is so easy to measure, it’s really not a big deal. Most off-the-shelf devices have a diameter between 1 1/4 and 1 1/2 inches.

Another big topic of conversation has been how long a man should wait between ejaculations. A lot of guys start out treating wait times like a contest. The guys who wait the longest are “best” at male chastity. I don’t think that’s true. My evolved view is that how long I have to wait isn’t important at all. What is important is that I have no input into when I get an orgasm.

I’m not claiming that hardware is no longer important. The vast majority of us have a fascination with penis bondage. I find it impossible to resist the temptation to try new hardware. However, I realize that my interest in the hardware is really orthogonal to my actual enforced chastity. I’ve been left wild for months at a time without anything changing in terms of my being controlled by my lioness.

I like the direction our kink is evolving. I think were starting to realize that interest in chastity devices is a separate hobby from male chastity. Yes, they go together, but if you’ve surrendered sexual control as I have, that surrender doesn’t require a lock around my penis.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I think Lion gives me too much credit. I don’t think too much about my left hand. I wouldn’t consider making reference to it in hopes of getting him aroused. It just happens to be the hand that I use to jerk him off. And his knees-in-the-air positioning? I think it’s a reaction to my needing more room on the bed when I suck him. But I could be wrong.

Last night it didn’t seem to matter which hand I used. I tried both. I even tried lube. And then Lion suggested some electric intervention. That did the trick. I even let him have an orgasm. I figure he needs to clear out all the surgery goo so he can get back to normal ejaculations. He only got a little bit last night. Once the pipes are clear, I’ll go back to our regular routine of every four to seven days. [Lion — last night was my fifth day]

I’m not in any hurry to lock him back up. He’ll probably be ready for edging and delayed orgasms before he’s ready for the cage. He’s still somewhat wobbly when he walks. He doesn’t need any more of a hindrance when he pees.

A few hours ago, Lion suggested going out to dinner tomorrow night. Now I know he’s getting cabin fever. I don’t know where he wants to go. It might just be anywhere but home. He hasn’t been out since his doctor appointment. The fresh air will do him good.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal

In a normal, vanilla relationship if the woman initiates sex she attempts to stimulate her partner enough to push him over the edge and then he takes over.

For example, my first BDSM partner would tie me down, spank me and do other things that turned me on. When she decided my motor was running, she would unlock me, lie down on the bed and tell me to attack. She didn’t want the top position for actual intercourse. If she did, she could have left me on my back and mounted me.

Aside from the emotional issues around how many women feel about initiating, very few consider running the entire show. Their job is to get the male hot enough to take over. A lot of women resent this need to light his fuse. But if some well-placed kisses and penis handling get him going, she will do what it takes to motivate him.

When she teases her man, a woman expects that one way or another before things are done, she will get him off. Very few Western women will sexually stimulate a man without getting him to ejaculate.

Male chastity changes everything. First of all, sex has to be initiated by the female. The male is locked in a chastity device until she releases him. Even without the device, he knows that she is in control of his sex. He is forbidden from owning any sexual process that will get him off.

Some women will allow their caged males to be sexually aggressive with them and bring them to orgasm orally or manually. This is not the same as the male initiating sex. He knows going in that his penis is not part of the process.

Okay, even though it’s obvious that a chaste male can’t initiate sex that ends with ejaculation, it’s far less obvious that he needs to learn that his sexual arousal is not the overture to the grand, orgasmic finale he expected before his lockup. A key aspect of male chastity is that ejaculation is never a given. This is very true in my case.

The very nature of the sex I get is very different from normal marital relations. Mrs. Lion will play with my penis and masturbate me to the edge of orgasm. She will wait until I calm down a bit and do it again. She’ll repeat several times. Then, without warning she will stop. Slowly, I will lose my erection and when it’s all done she will return my penis to its cage.

This has been the case for over five years. For every time I get to ejaculate, she’s lit my fuse and put it out at least thirty times. Statistically, well over 99% of the times I am ready to ejaculate, she stops and makes me wait.

It’s not that I have to wait many days or weeks between ejaculations. It’s that almost every time my penis is stimulated to the edge of orgasm, Mrs. Lion stops and leaves me frustrated. In a single session she will often do this five or more times. At the moment it doesn’t matter if my last orgasm was yesterday or three weeks ago. I ache with the need to come.

I know that it doesn’t matter how much I want to come. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since my last orgasm. How I feel about it is completely irrelevant. My penis is her toy and my sexual arousal is my personal problem.

It’s very much like Lucy and Charlie Brown. It doesn’t matter how many times she does it, Charlie will always try to kick the football that Lucy pulls away at the last second. Charlie believes that this time Lucy will let him kick the ball. Me too.

There’s one other significant change to my sex life. About 75% of my ejaculations are produced by Mrs. Lion’s left hand. It’s true that in our case, Mrs. Lion’s libido has gone away. She really isn’t interested in sex for herself. So, my sexual activity is almost entirely produced by her left hand. I’m not sure if she made a conscious decision to substitute masturbating me for all the other sorts of sex we might have had. She does give me oral sex from time to time. But her go-to lion stimulation is her left hand. For a guy who never masturbates, being jerked off is the whole sexual enchilada.

lion being jerked off by mrs. lion
Mrs. Lion’s left hand is the almost-exclusive way I get sexually stimulated. The vast majority of the time I don’t get to ejaculate. Here she is in action.

Sex for me, has been redirected to a new outlet: Mrs. Lion’s left hand. I find it exciting when she moves it in the direction of my penis.

It’s very effective and reliable. She knows exactly how to jerk me off. This has been going on so long that I have no expectation of any other form of release.

I don’t feel sorry for myself. I really love the way she masturbates me. While some men may accept wearing a chastity device as the main artifact of their enforced male chastity, I accept that my main sexual object is Mrs. Lion’s left hand.

Sometimes, she’ll make things a little more interesting and hold her hand still while she grips my penis. I hump her hand as though I were penetrating her pussy. Her left hand is very versatile. It’s not like I’m making the best of the situation. I fully accept that my orgasms are always external. I wonder if she thinks about how unusual this is. Does she realize that she has redirected my sexual focus from the usual female anatomy to her very sexy left hand?

It seems to me that this redirection is a very significant exercise of sexual power. When it’s time for her to stimulate me, I obediently lie on my back with my legs spread wide. On the occasions she chooses to stimulate me orally, I’m on my back legs apart knees bent as though I am prepared to be pegged.

She didn’t tell me to do this. It just feels right. Being masturbated is submissive for me. Exposing myself to her feels right. When my knees are up she has free access to my ass. I love it when she puts her fingers in my anus while she stimulates me.

This is a sexual role reversal. I make myself available to her. She holds all the cards. Sometimes instead of just masturbating me, she will slap my balls, something that’s very easy to do with my legs wide open.

My role is to accept what she chooses to do. I understand that and I respond by getting excited when her left hand moves between my legs.She hasn’t teased me about this yet. But I think it might be a sort of humiliating and exciting activity if she makes more of the fact that sex to me is her left hand.

Just as I learned to love her teasing, I can probably learn to begin to get aroused when she makes reference to her hand. If she pretends to masturbate one of my fingers I wonder if that won’t feel arousing.

I realize that I’m conditioned to look to her hand for sexual activity and not to expect orgasms no matter how aroused I get. She’s learned this as well. After all these years, I don’t think she has a single twinge about arousing me and then letting me stew in my own juices. I also think that she considers her left hand the main way she provides me with sex. I also think she finds my submissive sexual positions natural and expects them. I may not be very good at holding still for spanking, but I am rock solid with my legs open wide when she slaps my balls.

Some men are ass men, others like breasts, you could say that I am a left-hand man.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

When you think about it, it seems that a lot of guys enjoy having to wait longer and longer between orgasms. There can be lots of reasons for this. At one extreme it can be a way to cover up loss of libido. At the other it could be self punishment for real or imagined sexual transgressions.

Let’s rule both of those out. I’m sure there are guys who fit into those categories, but don’t necessarily fit into what I want to talk about today. One reasonable explanation for wanting increasing deprivation is that the discomfort and anticipation waiting creates feeds into a need to submit. This is probably the most common reason men voluntarily lock up their penises.

When I have to endure (relatively) long, horny waits, it’s exciting to feel my most primal drive suppressed and controlled by Mrs. Lion. It’s ironic that I feel aroused by denial of stimulation that produces arousal. This irony doesn’t escape Mrs. Lion’s notice. I also really like being teased to the edge of orgasm over and over and then denied ejaculation. When this happens night after night it puts me in an emotional state I can’t really describe. It’s unique.

In my case, it doesn’t take very long for me to get to this place. If she wishes, Mrs. Lion can keep me this way for a week or more. In her case, she prefers to give me orgasms frequently. She likes it when I come. When she makes it too frequent, I get a bit unhappy. It’s not that I mind ejaculating, but I really like the buildup the edging produces.

What if she decided that it would be more fun if I waited two, three, four weeks or more between orgasms? Of course, I would accept it with a certain amount of whining. What if she decided to use delaying ejaculation as part of my punishments? That idea seemed hot when I first thought about it, but I think they wouldn’t have a lot of value since the idea that I’m being punished would get married with my desire to get off.

Orgasm spacing I think is very individual. I’ve learned that if Mrs. Lion makes me ejaculate every day, within a week I would be begging her to make me wait a bit longer. It would just feel like too much. If she made me wait at least two weeks between orgasms, I might lose interest sometime before my scheduled ejaculation.

Other guys have similar upper and lower limits. I’m convinced that the actual waiting isn’t particularly important to keyholders. That’s not entirely true. I think all of our partners like to experiment a bit and find out what we would be like if our waits are extended or reduced. It’s a sort of keyholder’s sport.

Outside of that, I think they look for comfortable rhythm that both the caged male and the keyholder enjoy. From my perspective, it isn’t how much time I have to wait as much as the fact that it isn’t up to me. If Mrs. Lion wants to jerk me off every day, I’ll certainly endure it. If she wants me to wait two weeks or more, I accept that too.

The name of the game when it comes to ejaculation is control. Hardware doesn’t really figure in. I’ve learned that even though I am wild for months on end, the control remains and sexual stimulation is provided only by my lioness. It doesn’t matter how reasonable or unreasonable she chooses to be. I don’t need steel (or plastic) locked around my penis to assure I won’t play with myself.

The real power in enforced male chastity is in acceptance of sexual control. It’s not about lockup and penis bondage. I think most of us understand that. By the way, I’m horny Mrs. Lion.