By:
In: Male Chastity

Lion asked me if I like his cage. When I said it serves a purpose, he said I was being evasive. I wasn’t trying to be. The truth is, I don’t think about the cage that much. He says I see it all the time since he’s naked around the house. I don’t normally notice it. Unless I go to touch his balls (my balls) I don’t pay any attention to it. The same is true of his wedding ring. I’ve never thought of either of them as a fashion accessory. The cage is steel and our wedding bands are plain gold. Neither of us is into jewelry. Neither of us normally wears any jewelry but our wedding bands. It’s what they symbolize that’s important.

Last night Lion noticed that his skin was breaking out near his wedding ring. I asked if he needed to take it off to clear up the area. He said he didn’t want to. He wanted to keep the ring on, especially if he was going to be wild over the weekend. I’d rather have him comfortable. If the ring is aggravating the sore spot, it should be removed. We’ve done that when his skin was irritated near the cage. To me, it’s the same idea. He said he didn’t like the idea of being a wild, “unmarried” Lion. While I can see his point, I also know that we were married long before the state recognized it. Neither one of us was looking for outside action. Neither one of us needed the church, the state, or any other entity to tell us we were together for life.

Lion says he likes being wild but he does miss the cage when it’s not there. I don’t see any problem with him being wild for the weekend or even if he has to travel for work. The real cage is in his heart. In mine too.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Tomorrow we begin another weekend trip in our RV. Mrs. Lion has allowed me to be cage free while we travel. She does this because our RV toilet has a shallow bowl design. The inside slopes gently toward the drain. The result of this is that when I sit to pee, my balls sit on the porcelain. and get bathed by my pee. This isn’t the end of the world, but it isn’t very pleasant. I can’t stand to pee since my aim is uncertain in the cage. I’m not entirely sure why I get a vacation from my cage because of this. My balls, after all, are washable. I admit that I enjoy the freedom and it does simplify things somewhat.

In the future there is a chance I will need to travel (if I get the job I am pursuing). That travel will, of course, require me to go through airport security. My Jail Bird chastity device will not go through unnoticed. So, I will either have to be wild when traveling or find a plastic cage that fits. My research indicates that there are two potential products: the CB6000 and the Holy Trainer 2. The CB2000 has numerous problems that rule it out. The Holy Trainer has a short version and gets excellent reviews. Unfortunately, even the short Holy Trainer is at least an inch longer than my Jail Bird. While it might fit, there will be “head room” at the end. Excess length, particularly in a closed tube like the Holy Trainer traps moisture and will smell in a day or so of wear. Getting clean with a tube on is iffy at best. My Jail Bird is very easy to keep clean. The open cage cleans up in a normal shower. A week-long trip wearing the Holy Trainer will likely result in some serious hygiene issues. Unless there is another, easy-to-clean plastic device, it appears I will need to be wild on business trips as well as our RV adventures. This isn’t really a security problem. I am certainly well enough trained to not masturbate. It’s just a bit odd, like taking off my wedding ring.

As I think about it, being wild while traveling is in a way worse than no device when we travel together. The cage reminds us to continue to be physical and sexual with one another. I’m not really suggesting that on a four-day trip we will forget. That’s silly. But the fact remains that the cage is a valuable symbol of our renewed physical relationship. Neither of us believes that it’s on my penis to prevent me from sexual disobedience. It’s there in the same way we wear our wedding rings: as a symbol of our sexual relationship and our power exchange. I actually feel a little undressed when it isn’t on. Being wild doesn’t change the way Mrs. Lion treats me. She has no problem spanking a wild lion. Nor does she mind edging me over and over. She clearly isn’t worried I will take matters into my own hands.

As a submissive I still have a way to go. I try to squirm away during spankings. I can forget to remind Mrs. Lion of scheduled punishment days or maintenance spanking days. I still interrupt her. One area I am completely confident about is sex. I am completely trained in terms of masturbation. That’s something, isn’t it?

By:
In: Orgasm denial

I wish I could say it was a designed experiment, but it really was an accident. In my zest to edge Lion I gave him a ruined orgasm. On the plus side, it did not have any effect on his horniness level and I got a yummy treat out of the deal. Win-win. I told him it was just the pre-cum I’d been looking for the night before. It was actually on the level of a full ejaculation. Am I sorry it happened? Usually I’m pretty mad at myself for going too far. Not last night. I edged him by hand a few times and then went in for the kill, so to speak, with my mouth. I should have stopped. In fact, I did stop a few times and then I didn’t stop fast enough the last time. He reported that the Lion weather was still very horny afterwards. No harm, no foul.

I’m actually torn between playing with him every night and taking a day off. Part of me thinks a day off wouldn’t hurt. Does he really need attention every single night? Our agreement was for every other day and that has morphed into every day. On the other hand, he needs to be reminded that I understand his predicament and I’ll do all I can to help him out. Short of giving him an orgasm, that is. And I want to keep his horniness level high. Ignoring him, even for just one day, may make him forget about sex (ha!) and he won’t be as horny. I was also toying with the idea of playing with him without unlocking him, but that seems to have less of an effect on him. He needs a hands on, or mouth on, approach. Maybe he’s just plain spoiled. I do take good care of him. I know he appreciates it. I’m sure he would understand skipping a day. He wouldn’t like it, but he would go along with it. He really doesn’t have much choice in the matter anyway. He’s at my mercy. But I’m concerned with keeping him interested especially with the longer wait this time. Daily play is the only way I know to keep him interested. So on we march.

I’ve also set a precedent of edging him a lot more than I normally do. Usually it’s three or four times and then I stop. Recently I’ve been doing five or more. I lose track, actually. Poor Lion has no idea how many either. If I ask he tells me he’s too busy to count. There’s no blood flow to his brain. When I give him an orgasm I like to play with him until I figure he’ll spontaneously combust and then I finish him off. Lately that’s how I’ve been edging him. I get him just shy of the point that he’ll go out of his mind if he doesn’t come, and then I stop playing with him. And I watch him try to get his breathing under control while realizing he isn’t going to reach the promised land this time around.

Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow. Oops! Nope. Not till the 15th.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Orgasm, Punishment, Spanking

I think enforced chastity is growing up. More and more people are opening the windows to let the dank, sweaty smell of perversion out of the chastity room and letting in the sunshine and fresh air of orgasm control. More and more reality is surfacing. Yesterday, Thumper wrote a post on the realities of becoming a keyholder. It’s a refreshing view of how he sees the role. I’ve written a few posts about this too. Thumper has a wide readership and good search engine coverage. I am very happy to say we do too. What that means is that more people will get a realistic view of enforced chastity instead of the fantasy crap that turns so many people off. There’s a new blog that presents what I think is a honest view of one woman’s introduction to being a keyholder. The Adventures of Miss Kitty and Rover is only three posts old. A woman who has been learning to top her partner is starting out as a keyholder. It’s an interesting read. If you haven’t seen it, I keep a list of interesting blogs on the right column of this blog. It’s updated to show the most recent posts. I regularly read these blogs and I think they offer useful and interesting insights into enforced chastity and FLM. I also think it is high time that we bloggers promote one another. I don’t lose you as a reader if I help you find other, more interesting things to read. It’s a sign of maturity that we promote one another.

This is one of those posts that will make things harder and more painful for me. I am writing it out of my desire to be completely honest about what I think is right for us. Mrs. Lion and I have been maturing in enforced chastity as well. Power has gradually shifted from my suggestions — sort of topping from the bottom, but really education — to Mrs. Lion independently owning my penis and its use. As Thumper pointed out in his post, this doesn’t often make me very happy, but it is exactly what I need. Use of my penis is completely up to her. For a long time she used it in the way she believed would make me happy. I did enjoy all the orgasms that yielded. But I didn’t like the degree of control I exercised over getting them. Mrs. Lion has taken firmer control. At my request, she has told me the earliest date I can expect my next orgasm. Currently, it’s August 15th, our anniversary. I still have nine days go to. It will be one of my longest waits. Mrs. Lion edges me every night just to keep my interest up. She is edging me many times each time. Before, she would edge me three or four times and lock me up. Now she keeps going way past that number. Before she is done, I am bucking hard trying to get past the edge. I think she likes that.

In fact, I get the feeling she is enjoying her keyholder role more and more. At least I hope she is. She seems to be learning that making me frustrated and unhappy with my wait is a good thing. She is definitely learning that making my spankings as painful as possible is the right way to do them. Monday night her spanking created a sore spot that I told her about. She made a point of hitting that spot harder and more often. On Tuesday night, our maintenance spanking night, she asked about the spot and then made sure she hit it. I really hated it each time she found it, but I have to admit I am proud of her for disregarding my complaints and doing her job as my disciplinary wife and keyholder.

I admit it; I’m spoiled. I’m very used to calling the shots. I resist when things go past the point I want. I don’t think I top from the bottom, but I let Mrs. Lion know when she has gone “too far”. I am unhappy with my current 18 day wait. That is longer than I want to wait. To quote an online friend, “Suck it up, buttercup.” I was unhappy with a sore spot continuing to be hit hard. It went past what I wanted; way past. My internal limit for a wait is 11 days. Anything past that feels like too much. Spankings should hurt, but not *really* hurt. Yes, I see the problem with that. These are soft limits that define the boundaries of my comfort zone. When we started out, it made sense to respect those soft limits. It gave both of us a chance to fit into our roles.

Enforcing soft limits is a form of control. Intentionally violating them transfers control from me to my lioness. I absolutely hate waiting 18 or more days, especially with more and more teasing. It’s horrible! But, you know what? It’s establishing Mrs. Lion’s role as keyholder. Ignoring my soft limits establishes her authority. Exceeding my soft limit on spanking pain is another good way. It’s harder to do. She may have to tie me down and gag me (to avoid my complaining and screaming) to do it, but the effect it will have is profound. I need to know without any doubt that I have no control; none. This hasn’t happened up until now for two reasons: First, it’s a lot of extra work to tie me down and gag me. Second, it’s very difficult to hurt someone past the point they want or expect it.

For this to happen consistently, Mrs. Lion has to embrace her role. I think she has made remarkable progress. Since she can’t add her own orgasms to the mix, any satisfaction she can get out of being my keyholder and disciplinary wife has to come from a different well. I know she has no love of power or control, so controlling me more completely won’t provide her with any new joy. One source of joy can be giving me what I need. That’s a lot different than giving me what makes me happy or what I want. By definition, her roles aren’t intended to make me happy, or for that matter, unhappy. They are roles of ownership and control. Does that equate with the more unhappy I am the better she is doing her job? It sounds that way, doesn’t it? I don’t think so. Yes, some pain and frustration is needed. Inflicting them is the only way to see if the power exchange is, in fact, working. My reaction to this 18 day (or more) wait will inform her about my acceptance of her control. I can complain a bit, even whine. If I get on her nerves, then she needs to let me know. She knows how to do that.

I freely admit that I have not let go of my wish to control or at least influence when I can come. I like to think I can stop Mrs. Lion from hurting me “too much” when she spanks me. I know I have to learn that I can’t do either, ever. This will take time and a lot of unhappiness on my part. Lions are stubborn and are not easy to tame. Poor Mrs. Lion.