By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking

The Lion weather report yesterday was horny with a chance of playing. I’m glad he’s horny. He went through a patch when he wasn’t so horny. I prefer a horny Lion.

I started off our third play night in a row by removing Lion’s girly toenail polish. I was very difficult to remove. I think the sparkles in it change something in the nature of how it goes on and comes off. But I persevered and his toes are now mostly non-purple. There’s a tiny bit around the edges that was too stubborn. He thinks they look much better natural. I think they need a splash of color again sometime soon.

As promised I gave Lion some pink buns last night. He lost the color on his toes so I had to add color somewhere. Lucky for him, he loves pink buns. He asked if he was as red as when I punish him. It’s hard to answer. Sometimes I think his cheeks are so shocked at being punished that the blood doesn’t head there right away. As a matter of fact, sometimes they look almost white, like I’ve scared the blood away. “Head for the hills! She’s got the damn paddle again!” Other times they can get very red very quickly. Last night they were just rosy pink. And cute, of course.

Once I was done I had him roll over for some edging. He was moaning the second I touched him. Poor horny Lion. I don’t know if he starts out positive he will get to come or positive he won’t. I wasn’t positive at all last night. Either way. I wanted to give him an orgasm because he was so horny. But then I didn’t want to for the same reason. It was only four days since his last one. If he’s this horny last night then he’ll be even more horny tomorrow night. And the night after. And so on. I wasn’t even sure when his next scheduled orgasm was to know if I was giving in way too early. But who cares? He doesn’t know when that scheduled date is. I can give him one any time I want to. Of course, that’s true any time. That’s just what was going on in my mind while I was playing with him.

Will tonight be Lion’s lucky night? He might get a fourth play night in a row. That would be lucky. Will he have an orgasm? That would be even luckier. We’ll see.

By:
In: Male Chastity

Enforced chastity and FLR are power exchanges. In both, the female member of the relationship acquires considerable power. The chastity version of this uses the male’s ability, or more accurately, inability to get sexual satisfaction as the principle currency in any transaction. A good boy gets unlocked and is allowed an orgasm. Naughtiness can result in waiting a long time for that sweet release. FLR (or as we call it, FLM — Female Led Marriage — gives much broader power to the woman. She has full authority over her surrendered husband. How this authority translates to his behavioral modification takes many forms.

Most women use a combination of reward and punishment to achieve the results they desire. On the reward side, the principle currency is sex. Cook some good dinners, clean the bathroom well, and immediately obey instructions can result in an orgasm. We males will do a lot if we know we will get a hand job in the end. Most women know that from an early age. Men can escape the pressure of withheld sex by secretly masturbating. But not me or other males who are wearing chastity devices. I can’t get myself off. Only Mrs. Lion can do that. So, it isn’t very hard to make it clear that I need to earn my next release.

FLM adds one new weapon to the female arsenal: punishment. A surrendered male agrees to submit to punishment if his wife feels he needs it. Far and away the most popular punishment is spanking. Administered on a bare bottom, a spanking is literally a naked display of feminine power. It is remarkably effective on me. It not only hurts enough to make me scream, but it is undeniable evidence that Mrs. Lion can and will hurt me if she wants. That’s power! There are other popular punishments as well. Corner time, grounding, loss of privileges, and most popular of all, delayed orgasms serve to send a strong message. Unlike spanking, these punishments take a lot of time, a single withheld orgasm punishment can last a week or more. During that time, the male gets to remember why he is suffering. Most wives have a favorite and use the others as needed. Mrs. Lion’s favorite is spanking.

I’m not writing about how this power is exercised. Rather, I want to consider how FLM changes subtle, often hurtful emotional problems into manageable power transactions. A good example is my thoughtless expectation that Mrs. Lion will drop everything when I want to do something. In the past, Mrs. Lion simmered silently. The tension built up over time and she would withdraw emotionally and sexually. I never understood why she was doing this. Now with our new FLM, once Mrs. Lion realizes that I have done something that upsets her, like wanting her to drop everything and go to the kitchen with me, she knows she can not only inform me she is feeling badly, she can add extra swats to one of our twice-weekly punishment days, or she can respond on the spot. In either case I will clearly understand I did something wrong. More importantly, she can feel she resolved the problem.

I read a post on another blog that was written by a woman fairly new to FLM. Her husband performs all the housework and domestic chores. She keeps him on track using sex as his reward. If he is doing a good job, she gets him off. If not, he has to wait. He is being taught that he gets to ejaculate if he pleases her. Good behavior and quality housework result in ejaculation. Missteps result in frustration. I sent Mrs. Lion a link to the post. I mentioned that I thought using sex was unfair. She pointed out that she does that too. Didn’t I get a “bonus” orgasm for doing so much cooking? Yeah, I did. Did I mind the obvious manipulation of my sexual needs? No, I didn’t.

Before reading that post, I didn’t think of sex as currency. I never considered that I was being manipulated by my need to ejaculate. But I am. When I think about it, I can’t come up with a better reward, or if withheld, punishment. It is controlling my most primal need. The combination of enforced chastity and FLM has given Mrs. Lion powerful currency to reward and punish. Even if she doesn’t punish by withholding ejaculation, my knowledge that she can serves to make me more accepting of spanking and other punishments she wishes to use.

I don’t think that this means we males are simple, easily-manipulated critters. We aren’t simple at all. But when a woman finds a way to take ejaculation out of our own hands, she has a powerful tool to control us. Mrs. Lion is starting to realize the power she wields. She is also starting to work out ways to use this power to make things better for her and for us. I’m still trying to accept this reality. That’s not quite right. Obviously I accept it. I’m trying to feel comfortable with this knowledge. Am I really controllable simply by using my penis for rewards and punishment? What does that say about me? At this point I don’t know.

By:
In: Edging

Lion was very quiet when I got home last night. He said he was fine, but he’s usually not that quiet. I still don’t know what, if anything, was wrong, but once we settled in for the evening he asked if it was a play night. When I told him we had played Sunday night he said it was too bad because he was horny. Really horny. There’s no law against playing two nights in a row. Or seven nights in a row. Or every night for a month. The rules only govern a minimum. I decided since he had nothing on his punishment list (and yes I know he could have had something on it if I had put it there) he could have an extra play night.

I did make him wait till 10ish but that was a consequence of the tv shows we watched. Doggie ice cream time provided a break in that action so I decided it was time for some Lion action. I started off by admiring his purple toes. They are certainly not as glaring as the pink toes. He said they are bad enough. I think he needs a nice spring color. Perhaps something in the yellow family. And I always tell him I could get some red and paint a black racing stripe on them like his car. This usually prompts a rolling of his eyes or a scrunched up face. I like teasing him about his girly toes.

I’ve been in search of pre-cum the past few times I’ve edged him. He said he’s starting to get worried that he isn’t producing any. I don’t think it’s a big deal but I’ll stop asking for it if that will take the pressure off. I can’t tell you how many times I edged him. It was at least five times. I was going for a broken Lion, the point at which he can no longer maintain an erection even though he hasn’t had any orgasm. But he was getting so close I didn’t want to risk a ruined orgasm so I stopped.

Not surprisingly, he said the edging did nothing to cure his horniness. It isn’t designed to. If anything, it should make it worse. I’m sure the ever hopeful Lion thinks I may take pity on him and allow him an orgasm. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. He places his bet and takes his chances. Lion likes to play slot machines. He understands the gamble. Worst case, he has a little fun even if he doesn’t win the jackpot.

Perhaps tonight will be a Lion play night too. There may be a butt plug involved. Or maybe a fun spanking. Anything to make my horny pet even hornier.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Yesterday was a full week since I had anything on my discipline list. That means I haven’t received a spanking. I don’t like punishment spankings at all and I am working to avoid them. As it turned out, I did behave rudely Sunday night. She pointed it out in her post yesterday. She didn’t act immediately or ask me to record my infraction. However, my week-long streak ended last night. She mentioned that she should have responded immediately. I agree, but I also believe that instinctively reacting as the authority figure takes a long time to develop. It makes perfect sense that she reacted following an old pattern. It’s very good that she caught herself later and corrected me.

When we began our FLM* we talked about punishment. At that time, we both thought frequent discipline was a good way to reinforce our power exchange. After all, we agreed, frequent punishments would remind us both who is in charge. Regularized activities have worked very well for us in enforced chastity. From the start, Mrs. Lion decided that she would tease me at least every other day. This regularized activity has served us both very well. I think it plays a major part in our success at the chastity power exchange. As it turned out, I did behave rudely Sunday night. She pointed it out in her post yesterday. She didn’t act immediately or ask me to record my infraction. If we didn’t have a scheduled punishment night last night, she probably would have just felt badly that she missed the opportunity to correct me. Since last night was scheduled for punishment, she can “catch up” on that “miss”.  How long did it take before teasing became a part of our lives that doesn’t require a lot of thought to initiate?

When we talked about FLM, we both thought that Mrs. Lion would need “reasons” to punish me regularly. I think we both assumed that every punishment day (Monday and Thursday) would have a list of infractions to be corrected. That was true the first few weeks. I was beginning to dread those days. Mrs. Lion is a very effective spanker. My screams were real. She knows how to make it hurt. We were partly right when we thought she would need to consciously find reasons to punish. It isn’t that I am so perfect as a surrendered husband. It’s that she has years of conditioning to avoid confrontation and suppress her anger when I am inappropriate with her. You can read about what happened in her post.

What bothers me is that she sees this as her failure. She failed to do what she should. It isn’t a failure at all. Her reaction last night is a habit. She always puts others first. That’s a virtue, of course, but not when it is at her expense. Stuffing feelings like this will eventually create passive-aggressive behavior and inappropriate responses to later issues. All those angry feelings get stored up. One reason I like the idea of FLM is that it makes us deal with things promptly and completely. The best thing about domestic discipline is that it immediately clears the air and both of us go on with our lives without the burden of stored bad feelings.

It takes time for FLM to take root. The problem is rarely that the surrendered husband won’t stop acting out or refuses discipline. It’s more often, as far as I have seen, that the wife has a lifetime of not expressing her unhappiness and just deferring to others. In the context of Sunday night, the old pattern came out again. Mrs. Lion loves to say, “yes” even at her own expense. Saying, “no”, or “later” is difficult for her. It’s also not easy for me to hear. But it is the right thing for both of us.

My sweet lioness is in no danger of turning into a selfish bitch. That is something neither of us want and she is incapable of becoming. I’m not a spoiled brat, but I can be thoughtless at times. As I see it, FLM and domestic discipline are tools that will help us both become more centered. Mrs. Lion will become more self aware and I will learn to be more aware of her. Like enforced chastity and our every-other-day tease schedule, this may seem a bit artificial. Maybe it is. But this technique has proved effective in helping us change our dynamic in positive ways. We just have to stick with it. Clearly I have lessons to learn.

*FLM — Female Led Marriage