Sexual Currency

Enforced chastity and FLR are power exchanges. In both, the female member of the relationship acquires considerable power. The chastity version of this uses the male’s ability, or more accurately, inability to get sexual satisfaction as the principle currency in any transaction. A good boy gets unlocked and is allowed an orgasm. Naughtiness can result in waiting a long time for that sweet release. FLR (or as we call it, FLM — Female Led Marriage — gives much broader power to the woman. She has full authority over her surrendered husband. How this authority translates to his behavioral modification takes many forms.

Most women use a combination of reward and punishment to achieve the results they desire. On the reward side, the principle currency is sex. Cook some good dinners, clean the bathroom well, and immediately obey instructions can result in an orgasm. We males will do a lot if we know we will get a hand job in the end. Most women know that from an early age. Men can escape the pressure of withheld sex by secretly masturbating. But not me or other males who are wearing chastity devices. I can’t get myself off. Only Mrs. Lion can do that. So, it isn’t very hard to make it clear that I need to earn my next release.

FLM adds one new weapon to the female arsenal: punishment. A surrendered male agrees to submit to punishment if his wife feels he needs it. Far and away the most popular punishment is spanking. Administered on a bare bottom, a spanking is literally a naked display of feminine power. It is remarkably effective on me. It not only hurts enough to make me scream, but it is undeniable evidence that Mrs. Lion can and will hurt me if she wants. That’s power! There are other popular punishments as well. Corner time, grounding, loss of privileges, and most popular of all, delayed orgasms serve to send a strong message. Unlike spanking, these punishments take a lot of time, a single withheld orgasm punishment can last a week or more. During that time, the male gets to remember why he is suffering. Most wives have a favorite and use the others as needed. Mrs. Lion’s favorite is spanking.

I’m not writing about how this power is exercised. Rather, I want to consider how FLM changes subtle, often hurtful emotional problems into manageable power transactions. A good example is my thoughtless expectation that Mrs. Lion will drop everything when I want to do something. In the past, Mrs. Lion simmered silently. The tension built up over time and she would withdraw emotionally and sexually. I never understood why she was doing this. Now with our new FLM, once Mrs. Lion realizes that I have done something that upsets her, like wanting her to drop everything and go to the kitchen with me, she knows she can not only inform me she is feeling badly, she can add extra swats to one of our twice-weekly punishment days, or she can respond on the spot. In either case I will clearly understand I did something wrong. More importantly, she can feel she resolved the problem.

I read a post on another blog that was written by a woman fairly new to FLM. Her husband performs all the housework and domestic chores. She keeps him on track using sex as his reward. If he is doing a good job, she gets him off. If not, he has to wait. He is being taught that he gets to ejaculate if he pleases her. Good behavior and quality housework result in ejaculation. Missteps result in frustration. I sent Mrs. Lion a link to the post. I mentioned that I thought using sex was unfair. She pointed out that she does that too. Didn’t I get a “bonus” orgasm for doing so much cooking? Yeah, I did. Did I mind the obvious manipulation of my sexual needs? No, I didn’t.

Before reading that post, I didn’t think of sex as currency. I never considered that I was being manipulated by my need to ejaculate. But I am. When I think about it, I can’t come up with a better reward, or if withheld, punishment. It is controlling my most primal need. The combination of enforced chastity and FLM has given Mrs. Lion powerful currency to reward and punish. Even if she doesn’t punish by withholding ejaculation, my knowledge that she can serves to make me more accepting of spanking and other punishments she wishes to use.

I don’t think that this means we males are simple, easily-manipulated critters. We aren’t simple at all. But when a woman finds a way to take ejaculation out of our own hands, she has a powerful tool to control us. Mrs. Lion is starting to realize the power she wields. She is also starting to work out ways to use this power to make things better for her and for us. I’m still trying to accept this reality. That’s not quite right. Obviously I accept it. I’m trying to feel comfortable with this knowledge. Am I really controllable simply by using my penis for rewards and punishment? What does that say about me? At this point I don’t know.