By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking

Last night marked the fifth night in a row that I’ve edged Lion. I think he’s hornier than ever. I know he wants to come, but does he really want to come? It’s become a game now. I think if I give him an orgasm he might get upset. How will he know how long he can endure the nightly teasing if I never take him to his breaking point? It’s actually an endurance test for both of us. How long can I keep myself from giving him an orgasm? How long can he keep from begging for one? How long can I keep up the nightly edging?

So far my interest in keeping Lion horny is high. I know it will wane over time. In the back of my mind I know there is a scheduled date out there that will end his horniness, if only for a day. Do I go past that date if he doesn’t want an orgasm at that point? Do I give him the scheduled orgasm and resume nightly teasing? Do I reserve nightly teasing for a reward? I’m not sure. I know it’s not something that’s sustainable for very long. It, like the nightly orgasms of a year ago, will become too much.

The other question on my mind is about maintenance spanking. When we first started domestic discipline I gave Lion swats every night. It was just to get us accustomed to things. It worked out well. Lion learned how to take hard swats. I learned how to give hard swats. And off we went. Lion has had a few weeks of no punishable offenses. I think that’s a good thing. Apparently not. He wants maintenance swats. Is that so he doesn’t forget how to take the hard swats? I know he wants to feel my power. I know I don’t find enough things wrong to fill up his dance card. I just don’t know if random swats are the answer. I do know that we’ll probably start them in a few days. After all, it doesn’t have to makes sense to me.

[Lion — No, having an orgasm will not upset me. I also won’t argue if I don’t. You have made good points. I am not sure I want maintenance spankings. I just remember how somewhat artificial routines were able to train us.]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

Maintenance Spanking sure sounds like an oxymoron to me. What does beating my butt maintain? It’s not as silly as it sounds. As I have read about it, maintenance spanking has two functions: it reminds the spankee of his submissive role, and perhaps more important, it reminds the dominant of her role. It also, interestingly, provides important communication. Of course, the concept of being hurt without any specific reason.

I know that when I read about this, I found the idea unpleasant. After all, Mrs. Lion’s disciplinary spankings are very painful. She always delivers them with cool authority. They hurt and she expects them to hurt a lot. Each time I get one, it is for one or more misses on my part. It’s earned retribution. It’s true that when we first started FLM, she spanked me every night for a week. She did this to help herself learn that it was OK to inflict pain that way. It was a necessary self-training exercise for her. It didn’t make it hurt less to know that, but I had to agree it was a worthy purpose. Ultimately, it helps her be better in her role.

According to my reading, some couples who practice domestic discipline believe that frequent physical reminders of the power balance are needed to keep the surrendered husband under control. This is the FLM equivalent of making men practicing enforced chastity wait very long times between orgasms; it keeps them submissive and obedient. The theory there is that for days after an orgasm, a male will be lazy and uninterested in serving his keyholder. I don’t feel any less willing to serve Mrs. Lion an hour after I come than I do after waiting for two weeks. If there are guys whose docility is affected by getting to ejaculate, then they certainly should be given very infrequent orgasms.

I think it is different with domestic discipline; at least during the first year or two. Very few women will instinctively reach for a paddle and spank their husbands if they break a rule or fail to keep a promise. Yet, the root of domestic discipline is for the surrendered husband to be disciplined severely after any infraction. Mrs. Lion is nowhere near that point with me. That change will take time; a lot of it. After all, it took her many months to get comfortable with frustrating me day after day. It’s not easy for her at all. Disciplining me is ever harder.

To be fair, I am not accustomed to accepting punishment without question. It is easier for me. All I have to do is present my bare bottom. I do try to escape after a few swats. That is certainly unacceptable behavior. There are only two ways we can improve our disciplinary roles: Either I have to have many more opportunities to mess up so that Mrs. Lion has a reason on every punishment day to discipline me, or we have scheduled maintenance spankings with their own rules.

As I see it, I have to be trained to lie still for a very painful spanking, not try to roll over or squirm away. Mrs. Lion has to learn to be ruthless and to spank hard and fast regardless of my displeasure. Both will take a lot of practice. We have to avoid confusing maintenance spanking with discipline. In the case of discipline, Mrs. Lion will tie me down in order to keep me in place for my full punishment. That will get much more painful as she learns to feel good about administering it.  Maintenance spankings are a learning experience. My thought, which I know I will regret if Mrs. Lion does it, is that she has me assume the spanking position and administers a number of punishment swats. I have to hold still. If I don’t, she tells me that she is starting again and she does. This repetition continues until I learn to hold still. In the first sessions, I would hope we would start with a fairly small number of swats. Over time the number increase as does the speed they are administered.

To avoid confusing discipline with maintenance, I think we should do maintenance on a different night. If punishment is Monday and Thursday, maybe maintenance is Wednesday and Saturday. That is up to Mrs. Lion. Like many things about FLM, the concepts seem odd and not applicable to us. But as I think about them more, I realize they would help us too.

By:
In: Male Chastity

Lion has been a very lucky boy this week. I’ve edged him four nights in a row. He says the feeling lasts till the next day and he just wants me to be near him even more. This morning I was wondering how long I would continue our daily play sessions. It’s sort of a high maintenance schedule. Not that it takes a lot out of me, but how long can we really play every day? I guess we’ll find out! I want to see if I can get him to a point where he’s begging me for an orgasm.

It’s interesting to me that, just when I think we’ve hit a plateau and things must surely be getting boring for Lion, we find something new to try. The last time we played every night was way back in the beginning of our journey when I gave him an orgasm every night for a week or so. We finally stopped because it became too much for Lion. This is definitely different. Intense edging without coming certainly makes him hornier. Ironically, the touch he craves will just disappoint him again and again. He’ll never quite get to that orgasm. So close and yet so far. Poor boy. He’s getting exactly what he wished for.

There is an end date out there, of course. But there doesn’t really have to be. If we can both maintain the schedule there’s really no limit to how long we can go. Lion can always decide he can go another day. If I’m waiting for him to reach his breaking point before giving him an orgasm, and he’s decided he won’t give in till I give in, we could be in for a very long wait. Two stubborn people waiting for the other to blink. However, he knows I’ll probably blink first. My need to give him an orgasm is sometimes greater than his need to have one. That may sound ridiculous, but I think sometimes he wants to be pushed further than I am willing to push him. Actually he always wants to be pushed further than I’m willing to push him. Not necessarily just from an orgasm point of view.

He wants longer, harder spankings. He wants more stuff up his butt. He wants more everything. Velcro? Well, no. Not Velcro. But more of everything else. For now we’ll see how long we can push each other to play every night without an orgasm. Fun times in the Lions’ den.

By:
In: Male Chastity

Enforced male chastity is incredibly simple in concept: The penis is locked in a device that can’t be removed. This device prevents masturbation and other methods to achieve ejaculation and orgasm. The ability to unlock the device, thereby making sexual release possible, is controlled by another person called the keyholder. That’s it.

I haven’t seen much about the most fundamental effect that being locked up has on the male. That’s a bit surprising since this effect is monumental. This isn’t just a big build up. It’s real. It’s taken me well over a year to realize what’s going on. Remember when you were twenty? If you’re male you know that sex was always on your mind. When you dated,  your objective was to ejaculate inside your partner. Failing that, you hoped for manual or oral release. If you didn’t have a partner, then you masturbated frequently. That’s normal male behavior. It’s what propagates the species. We males are programmed to ejaculate into as many females as possible. That’s how new people are made. Civilization has blunted this instinct a bit, but if you’re a guy you know that pretty much sums things up.

If you’re female, you know that if you didn’t want sex (translates to male ejaculation), you had to avoid “leading him on” lest he get the “wrong idea” and try to mount you. The mating dance of dating is that delicate balancing act of keeping him interested without encouraging all out sexual behavior on his part. Throughout life, this conditioning provides the basis for your behavior with men. I realize that it gets far more complex, but at the root, this defines human sexual interaction.

Let’s further simplify. If you are male, if a female is accepting of sexual advances, no matter how subtle, your expectation is that the result will be that she will allow you to get off with her. Most of us males are open to any method she chooses. As the sexual behavior becomes more pronounced and she touches your inner thigh, even rubs against your penis, you become more positive that the outcome will be ejaculation. Social conditioning trains the female to understand this and provide the stimulation to ejaculation if she goes this far. If a sexual exchange doesn’t result in ejaculation, she is considered unreliable; a cock tease.

All of our lives, we males learn to expect release once any sexual activity is initiated. It doesn’t matter what or who, just that when arousal gets intense, ejaculation will surely follow. As we get older, we learn that the chase can be fun too — up to a point. We will permit teasing and arousal and postpone our release. We learn that by giving our partner orgasms first, we will be rewarded with a good one of our own. Sex becomes more sophisticated and complex. But our expected outcome is always ejaculation. If we find the wait too long or frustrating, then we take matters into our own hands.

Most of us initiate enforced chastity as what we hope will be an extension of the chase. We combine the thrill of bondage (being restrained) with giving our partners control of when we finally get to come. So the game begins. Over time our keyholders become more independent. They keep us waiting well past when we are ready to ejaculate. They unlock us and tease us to the edge of orgasm over and over, then lock us up unsatisfied. It gets intensely frustrating to be locked up.

During one of those teasing sessions with Mrs. Lion I had a realization: I no longer expected to ejaculate. The very nature of sex had changed for me. Yes, I still ached for that chance to come. I felt completely in her control. I would do anything for that orgasm. After being edged two or three times, I was her sex slave. But I wasn’t surprised when she announced that she was done and after I got soft again, locked me up frustrated. The vast majority of my sexual interactions were like this; frustrating trips to the edge of ejaculation with no happy ending. Even if I got to come two or three times in a month, I was edged fifteen times or more before each one over a period of days or weeks.

Without anyone consciously trying to do it, I was trained to interact sexually without expecting that last step of ejaculation. For each chance to ejaculate, I experienced dozens of near misses. They became the norm. My partner, on the other hand, always experiences an orgasm when she wants one. She is never left frustrated. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want orgasm very often, but when she does, she gets it. That’s not true of me. When she masturbates me or puts my penis in her mouth, I no longer expect to ejaculate. I expect to get very aroused without climax almost every single time my penis is stimulated.

I don’t pout or get angry. I’m no longer sad that I missed yet another chance to come. It’s the norm. Even so, every single time Mrs. Lion brings me close to orgasm, I prepare for that moment of pleasure. She knows how to heighten my anticipation. Her hand moves faster in a more determined motion. Yes, yes! This is finally the one! Then she stops. I keep breathing hard and my hips thrust a few more times. No, not this time. Sometimes she even says that. Or she says while pumping hard, “Do you want to come?”

“Oh yes, Please!”

Her hand stops. “No, not for a while yet,” she answers. Tuesday night she said, “You still have at least a week and a half.”

I don’t know if she even realized she said that. I sighed. After all, this is how more than eighty percent of my sex goes. I can’t say I was disappointed. I didn’t expect to come. But I sure wished this was the time. I’ve also noticed that when she plays with me more frequently — our normal schedule is every other day — my feelings intensify. I have learned to love this attention even though it just makes me hornier in the end. To me, teasing without orgasm  has become my normal sex life. The occasional orgasm is a special treat that I cherish and constantly wish for. I will beg for it if allowed. It’s the treat of all treats for me. But it is no longer what I expect. Feeling her hand on my cock is heaven to me. I’ll beg for that knowing she won’t give me release.

I have undergone a profound change. Ejaculation is no longer what I expect when my penis is stimulated. Of course, I hope for it, but  I am happy and grateful for the chance to get hard and feel my lioness’ touch. My chastity device makes erection impossible. So being unlocked and stimulated to erection feels great. Stimulation that moves me toward orgasm is heavenly. When I am finally locked back up, I feel satisfied. It’s similar to how, in the past, I felt after ejaculating. I still want badly to come, but I also feel that I have had satisfying sex with my keyholder and partner. My sexual focus has changed from ejaculation to stimulation. My sexual nature has been changed, perhaps forever.