Changing Our Male Sexual Nature

Enforced male chastity is incredibly simple in concept: The penis is locked in a device that can’t be removed. This device prevents masturbation and other methods to achieve ejaculation and orgasm. The ability to unlock the device, thereby making sexual release possible, is controlled by another person called the keyholder. That’s it.

I haven’t seen much about the most fundamental effect that being locked up has on the male. That’s a bit surprising since this effect is monumental. This isn’t just a big build up. It’s real. It’s taken me well over a year to realize what’s going on. Remember when you were twenty? If you’re male you know that sex was always on your mind. When you dated,  your objective was to ejaculate inside your partner. Failing that, you hoped for manual or oral release. If you didn’t have a partner, then you masturbated frequently. That’s normal male behavior. It’s what propagates the species. We males are programmed to ejaculate into as many females as possible. That’s how new people are made. Civilization has blunted this instinct a bit, but if you’re a guy you know that pretty much sums things up.

If you’re female, you know that if you didn’t want sex (translates to male ejaculation), you had to avoid “leading him on” lest he get the “wrong idea” and try to mount you. The mating dance of dating is that delicate balancing act of keeping him interested without encouraging all out sexual behavior on his part. Throughout life, this conditioning provides the basis for your behavior with men. I realize that it gets far more complex, but at the root, this defines human sexual interaction.

Let’s further simplify. If you are male, if a female is accepting of sexual advances, no matter how subtle, your expectation is that the result will be that she will allow you to get off with her. Most of us males are open to any method she chooses. As the sexual behavior becomes more pronounced and she touches your inner thigh, even rubs against your penis, you become more positive that the outcome will be ejaculation. Social conditioning trains the female to understand this and provide the stimulation to ejaculation if she goes this far. If a sexual exchange doesn’t result in ejaculation, she is considered unreliable; a cock tease.

All of our lives, we males learn to expect release once any sexual activity is initiated. It doesn’t matter what or who, just that when arousal gets intense, ejaculation will surely follow. As we get older, we learn that the chase can be fun too — up to a point. We will permit teasing and arousal and postpone our release. We learn that by giving our partner orgasms first, we will be rewarded with a good one of our own. Sex becomes more sophisticated and complex. But our expected outcome is always ejaculation. If we find the wait too long or frustrating, then we take matters into our own hands.

Most of us initiate enforced chastity as what we hope will be an extension of the chase. We combine the thrill of bondage (being restrained) with giving our partners control of when we finally get to come. So the game begins. Over time our keyholders become more independent. They keep us waiting well past when we are ready to ejaculate. They unlock us and tease us to the edge of orgasm over and over, then lock us up unsatisfied. It gets intensely frustrating to be locked up.

During one of those teasing sessions with Mrs. Lion I had a realization: I no longer expected to ejaculate. The very nature of sex had changed for me. Yes, I still ached for that chance to come. I felt completely in her control. I would do anything for that orgasm. After being edged two or three times, I was her sex slave. But I wasn’t surprised when she announced that she was done and after I got soft again, locked me up frustrated. The vast majority of my sexual interactions were like this; frustrating trips to the edge of ejaculation with no happy ending. Even if I got to come two or three times in a month, I was edged fifteen times or more before each one over a period of days or weeks.

Without anyone consciously trying to do it, I was trained to interact sexually without expecting that last step of ejaculation. For each chance to ejaculate, I experienced dozens of near misses. They became the norm. My partner, on the other hand, always experiences an orgasm when she wants one. She is never left frustrated. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want orgasm very often, but when she does, she gets it. That’s not true of me. When she masturbates me or puts my penis in her mouth, I no longer expect to ejaculate. I expect to get very aroused without climax almost every single time my penis is stimulated.

I don’t pout or get angry. I’m no longer sad that I missed yet another chance to come. It’s the norm. Even so, every single time Mrs. Lion brings me close to orgasm, I prepare for that moment of pleasure. She knows how to heighten my anticipation. Her hand moves faster in a more determined motion. Yes, yes! This is finally the one! Then she stops. I keep breathing hard and my hips thrust a few more times. No, not this time. Sometimes she even says that. Or she says while pumping hard, “Do you want to come?”

“Oh yes, Please!”

Her hand stops. “No, not for a while yet,” she answers. Tuesday night she said, “You still have at least a week and a half.”

I don’t know if she even realized she said that. I sighed. After all, this is how more than eighty percent of my sex goes. I can’t say I was disappointed. I didn’t expect to come. But I sure wished this was the time. I’ve also noticed that when she plays with me more frequently — our normal schedule is every other day — my feelings intensify. I have learned to love this attention even though it just makes me hornier in the end. To me, teasing without orgasm  has become my normal sex life. The occasional orgasm is a special treat that I cherish and constantly wish for. I will beg for it if allowed. It’s the treat of all treats for me. But it is no longer what I expect. Feeling her hand on my cock is heaven to me. I’ll beg for that knowing she won’t give me release.

I have undergone a profound change. Ejaculation is no longer what I expect when my penis is stimulated. Of course, I hope for it, but  I am happy and grateful for the chance to get hard and feel my lioness’ touch. My chastity device makes erection impossible. So being unlocked and stimulated to erection feels great. Stimulation that moves me toward orgasm is heavenly. When I am finally locked back up, I feel satisfied. It’s similar to how, in the past, I felt after ejaculating. I still want badly to come, but I also feel that I have had satisfying sex with my keyholder and partner. My sexual focus has changed from ejaculation to stimulation. My sexual nature has been changed, perhaps forever.


  1. Author

    Very well said brother sub. In adding my own experiences to the conversation, I can tell that I have transformed even beyond what you described here (very well I might add). I have been conditioned to PREFER to be denied orgasm, and I do. When the rare opportunity presents itself that I might actually have a full on orgasm, the lead up is anti-climactic because I know that the drop off of dopamine that will follow means I won’t be marinating in my otherwise constant state of desire. Ruined orgasms are the rule rather than the exception under Mistress K.’s control, but they too are rare.

    It’s almost May 1st and so far this year I have only had one real orgasm and 3 ruined orgasms. On the surface that would seem to be a shitty state of affairs for any “normal” man. In my case however, I feel like I am having the best sex of my life thanks to the careful control of my beloved Mistress Wife. I desire and cherish her every minute of every day and we couldn’t be happier.

    Ejaculation is no longer a goal in my mind or hers when it comes to sex. We both truly understand that the orgasms that she has are enough for the both of us.

  2. Author

    I’ve heard the same thing from another long-term, caged male. I wonder, worry really, if loss of desire to orgasm is always the next step. It’s not something either of us want. Mrs. Lion makes a point of giving me frequent (relatively)orgasms. I rarely have to wait more than two weeks.

    I don’t share your hormonal change after orgasm. I recover my interest very quickly (next morning, usually) and there is no depression. I hope that I don’t lose the desire to ejaculate. I hope that change isn’t inevitable.

  3. Author

    Wow, this is a wonderful post about the transformation of sexual desire, control, satisfaction and expectations for men and women. The place you and the wonderful Mrs. Lion have arrived at with enforced chastity seems very worthwhile! My wife controls my orgasms now and is beginning to understand that our bedroom activities are for HER enjoyment, not mine.

    Your post very clearly explains the intimacy and love that can be fostered when a woman controls her man’s orgasms and practices tease and denial with him. I plan to read all or parts of your article to my Mistress because I haven’t been able to adequately express how I desire – but don’t’ really want – an orgasm. Plus, Donna and I haven’t practiced tease and denial very much and therefore haven’t really seen it’s impact on a relationship, so your description may help fuel the fire!

    Very nicely done, Lion.


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