Believe it or not there are guys who want to remain locked in their chastity devices and never have an orgasm again. In once sense this surprises me, but in another I can understand this desire. Now, males of most species are sexual opportunists. When a sexually available female is around, they get horny and want sex When none are available, sex drops off the radar. Research has shown that while male mammals do get horny even without females around, most just live with the feeling and let their erections die of neglect. Humans can masturbate and most guys, including me, do that quite a bit in our lifetimes. Most of us limit the number of times we jerk off. We do this because it just isn’t that much fun. A partner or some other stimulus is needed to really get the juices going.

Those of us who are caged have lost the ability to take matters into our own hands. We get release when our keyholders decide to provide it. Over time, many keyholders gradually increase the interval between orgasms. Many caged males get one orgasm a month if they are lucky. Some get one or two a year. They learn to accept this as their wait times gradually increase over the course of months or years. An extra day or two added to the typical wait time isn’t so bad, is it? It isn’t. My last few wait times have been about nine days. The current one is ten. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion planned that, but I accept that just another day won’t be so bad.

Over time those days add up and before you know it, orgasms come less frequently than the seasons. The males accept this and even appear to enjoy the wait and anticipation. But something else may be going on that neither the male nor his keyholder considered. The longer the wait, the more buildup to that fateful day. The orgasm is spectacular. But then the realization sets in that there won’t be another for months. This can be a very depressing prospect to a guy right after he has had release. It doesn’t take long for him to realize that it is way easier for him to never have another orgasm than to deal with the depressing thought of waiting all that time for the next one. The pain of knowing just how much of your life will pass before the next one can be serious. If there is no hope of a “next one” then you can start to forget just how much you like it.

A keyholder who combines long waits with regular teasing, never lets her male forget what he is missing, so he will want his orgasm despite knowing how painful the wait will be. His keyholder won’t let him forget what he is missing. This can lead to a pretty depressed caged male. The keyholder will probably assume that the orgasm caused the depression and will have an incentive to make him wait even longer so she can avoid dealing with his depression. Soon the teasing will stop too and the male will be suffering enforced celibacy. The keyholder never intended to shut him off for life, but she unwittingly started a vicious cycle that ends with an unhappily celibate male.

A lot of men don’t know what’s good for them and will encourage their keyholders to train them to wait longer and longer. The process may take years, but eventually they end up truly celibate. Enforced chastity is consensual, but consent doesn’t imply that the caged male has agreed to permanently lose his ability to come. In fact, the male will unwittingly bring this upon himself by encouraging his keyholder to make him wait longer and longer.

So what is a reasonable wait time? This will vary by individual, but it should never be so long that the male is depressed after he ejaculates because he knows it will be a long time before his next chance. In the beginning, this may make wait times three or four days (never less). Later, this can be extended to a month or more. However, to avoid this vicious cycle, if the keyholder has made the male wait for a long time (at least a month), then his next wait time should be much shorter; a week or two.

Variety is the spice of life and that is true of wait times. Based on my reading, most men will get desperately horny after about ten days and will probably not be depressed once they come. Even if they insist they want to go much longer, it is probably healthier to train them to a ten-day-to-two-week wait, with only an occasional long wait thrown in for the fun of it.

Just as in other power exchanges, the bottom is almost always interested in going further than it is safe. The same is true of wait times. Yes, a guy can come just once a year, but ultimately he will be depressed after that orgasm. If you want a happy male, regular, not-too-frequent orgasms will give you the control he wants and protect him from the emotional lows of post-orgasmic depression.

We received an interesting comment yesterday. I’ve been thinking about it since then. The reader suggested I have an orgasm date in addition to Lion’s orgasm date. Lion thinks it’s a wonderful idea. He’s ready to buy another calendar so we can sit them side by side. I knew he’d be excited by that, even before he said anything.

My first reaction to it was less enthusiastic. I’ve already failed at my own idea of having an orgasm once a week in the hope that it will jump start my libido. Having a date staring at me seems like more pressure. Knowing that on that day I have to be ready no matter what doesn’t exactly scream orgasm to me. However, as I was thinking more about it this morning, it occurred to me that I could see the flip side of the recommendation. The reader also suggested that Lion would be excited to have a date to give me an orgasm. If I approach it as something I’m doing for Lion it (somehow) makes it more palatable. I know that’s twisted but that’s the way my mind works.

I don’t really see anything wrong with not wanting any orgasms. I can still do everything Lion wants to do. Why do I need to be turned on? It’s not like I’m withholding sex from him because I don’t want any. I’m withholding sex because he decided he wanted his weenie trapped in a little metal cage. Silly boy!

So tonight I’ll pick a date for him to give me an orgasm. I want rose petals and champagne that night. I’m kidding. The only restriction I have, at least in the beginning, is that it isn’t the same date as his. If this works and I get my libido back we may get to a point where we’re both on the same page. For now we’ll take baby steps.

My interest in enforced male chastity began on the Internet. In the mid 1990’s I read newsgroups. These were the predecessors of today’s forums. The web was just getting going at that time. Prior to the web you communicated using newsgroups. You dialed into servers that you addressed with newsgroup names. These names looked like “alt.sex.spanking”, for example. The taxonomy was clumsy, but it helped sort out people by interest. By and large the dialogue was very similar to what you see in the forums today. One post referenced a web site about chastity. It was altair boy’s site. This was a very simple site with reader-submitted pieces on chastity devices, fantasies, etc. Remember, there were no such things as blogs back then.

Reading about enforced chastity turned me on. When I masturbated I fantasized about being locked up. Even back then I wondered why I got hard thinking about not being able to get off. It really makes no sense at all. I was equally bemused at my reaction to spanking fantasies. By the 90’s I had been involved in BDSM for many years. My first experiences were in the mid 80’s. I had been on both sides of the paddle by then. As I learned, experience didn’t make my reactions any less confusing. Spanking hurt, yet I unfailingly got hard whenever I received it or thought about receiving it.

In the 90’s I was a top with very few opportunities to be on the receiving end of a spanking. Oddly, giving a spanking didn’t get me hard the way receiving one did. However, there were lots of other things about topping that not only got me hard, they got me off. But even when I was a 24/7 master, I still thought about enforced chastity. Those thoughts still had the expected effect on my penis.

In the late 90’s I decided to review chastity devices. I had a full-time bottom living with me, so there was no chance I could be locked up for more than a day or so. Still, I loved the idea of at least trying toys out. I was able to get a large number of devices. I still have one of the original, hand-made CB2000’s. Truthfully, none of the devices I reviewed were comfortable enough for me to consider full time wear. Still, it was fun.

Over eleven months ago this chastity adventure began. When we started it, I wondered if the appeal would wear off once I had spent weeks locked up. Obviously it didn’t. Now I don’t fantasize about being locked up when I masturbate. There is a good reason for that; I can’t masturbate. However, when my mind wanders to my caged state, I feel that tingle and pressure inside my cage. The appeal hasn’t worn off,  but what happens if it does?

I’ve given that some thought too. At this point, my interest in being caged is no longer the reason I am locked up. The reasons now go to the roots of our sexual relationship. My enforced chastity is a key component of our renewed sexual activity and my contentment. Mrs. Lion still acts as my keyholder out of love for me, but there are hints that my lockup is becoming more fun for her. She recently wrote that she doesn’t want to stop being my keyholder, which of course means I won’t be running around wild for the foreseeable future.

Enforced chastity has developed in stages for me. It started out as an amazingly erotic activity. It’s evolving into a necessary component of my relationship with Mrs. Lion. Is this what I fantasized would happen? Absolutely not! I never considered that I would be in a chastity device permanently. That thought never crossed my mind. Now, however, it is my reality. I can’t imagine things being different. As they say (who is “they”?): Be careful what you wish for.

 

As you’ve read, Lion was ridden to orgasm last night. That was his surprise. Not much of a surprise really, but he’s always happy for a Lion ride. Actually I was thinking of surprising him with some play time for me and then an orgasm for both of us during a Lion ride, but it’s difficult to get both of us on the same page at the same time so I just went for his orgasm. I love the way he feels inside me whether I come or not. I know he loves it too. He was a very happy boy!

I got his buns very rosy as well. Toward the end he was yelling into the pillow. Success! He was not happy with my nubby paddle. It stings a lot. He prefers the thud of a flogger, which I also used. I’ll have to look for more thuddy things to whomp him with. My hand stings too but it’s a different sting according to Lion. I know I sure felt my hand stinging by the time I was done!

I didn’t try to leave marks on him last night. It was more of a slow build up. A sexy spanking, if you will. Designed to turn him on. It worked. As soon as he rolled over Mr. Weenie stood right up. I do owe him punishment swats for dropping things, but I forgot until we were ready for the show to begin. I knew I wanted the slow build up so I couldn’t very well start out with a bunch of hard swats. And I said I could just add them at the end but that seemed like it would ruin the mood. He’ll get his swats tonight. I’m sure he’ll do something else that requires swats. He can’t seem to help himself.

He really didn’t notice the date change yesterday till he read my post. I bet from now on he’ll keep better track of that date. Who knows when I’ll change it for no reason? Just trying to keep him on his toes. I know he’d never argue with my moving it closer. And he’d never turn down a bonus orgasm. He wouldn’t actually argue with my moving it further out either, if he doesn’t want it to move even further out. Poor Lion really is at my mercy.