Male Chastity Journal

Wednesday night I got a bonus orgasm. It was very welcome. I have not had the most comfortable week. Mrs. Lion knows how to rub me the right way. But my back still hurts. Apparently it’s sciatica. Bummer. I’m very grateful that my Jail Bird is so comfortable. It doesn’t make a difficult situation worse.

I’ve been reading some extraordinarily idiotic forum posts lately. One posited that people only engage in BDSM because they are depressed. Once the depression lifts, the desire for power exchange disappears. That same genius stated categorically that welbutrin (an old antidepressant) is a strong aphrodisiac that gave both him and his wife amazing orgasms. It has to be true! It was on the Internet, wasn’t it? You can read this missive here. I don’t usually discuss the comments found on these boards. It’s just this particular one illustrates exactly why I started this blog: to provide reliable information and the ongoing saga of our enforced chastity.

One topic seems to appear regularly around the Net: the unbalanced libidos in relationships. Mrs. Lion and I are poster children for this issue. For the last bunch of years Mrs. Lion’s libido has been very  low. Mine, on the other hand, remains very active. One reason I introduced enforced chastity was to see if it wouldn’t provide a launching pad for new sexual interest in our relationship.

It didn’t work out the way I had imagined. My fantasy was that Mrs. Lion would lock me up and then have me provide her with lots of orgasms.  Naive lion. The actual result is very different and a lot better than my fantasy. Out of love for me, Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up. In the beginning she imagined this would be a low energy way to make me happy. You know, lock up the lion’s cock and things take care of themselves. Thankfully, it didn’t take Mrs. Lion long to realize that enforced chastity is much more than taking my penis out of use.

Over the succeeding months, Mrs. Lion reinterpreted my interest in sex and enforced chastity. Prior to my lockup, sex or lack of it was a source of tension for both of us. I avoided it and Mrs. Lion didn’t want it. The effect of this was a gradual reduction of any kind of intimacy. We held hands but not much more. This state of affairs made me sad. I missed the fun we had early in our relationship. Mrs. Lion (as she wrote here) resented my lack of initiative and attributed her lack of interest in sex to my inability to initiate. I knew she felt this way and deeply regretted my inability to do what she wanted.

Sounds like a good time to see a counselor. I had considered it. But inaction breeds more inaction and things didn’t change. I don’t want to repeat the entire story of how I came to introduce enforced chastity. It’s here in the blog. But I introduced it out of the selfish desire to improve my sex life. I am, after all, inclined to enjoy a certain amount of submission. Enforced chastity is, if nothing else, a prolonged form of bondage. Cool! I love being tied up.

What happened next is covered in detail here in our posts. The result is nothing short of amazing. No, Mrs. Lion didn’t suddenly turn into an insatiable sex fiend. I didn’t turn into a sexual initiator. But we both began to understand how to adapt to our differences. That’s the point I am trying to make. Enforced chastity gave us a tool that lets us both live happily even though our interest in sex is vastly different. Mrs. Lion expressed her feelings best, I think, in this post. I’m not suggesting that sexual differences are cured with chastity devices. I think that finding a tool, whether power exchange, games, or enforced chastity, is the key to bridging these giant sexual gaps.

I have learned that none of this is instant or easy. We’ve been at this (enforced chastity) for almost a year and only now are we beginning to truly understand what enforced chastity can be for us. It’s worth all the time and work and frustration. I am very happy we have been doing this.

This is the five hundredth post in the Journal. It’s a milestone in terms of our journal. It also corresponds to a milestone in our relationship. Yesterday, in her post, Mrs. Lion talked about how enforced chastity has significantly changed our lives. I have been thinking about that too. We both seem to think about the same things at the same time. It’s part of the magic of our relationship.

She mentioned that I always seem surprised when she takes care of me. I am. I never believe that I am worth the time and energy it takes to support me when I don’t feel well. I am very grateful. Mrs. Lion is always there for me and is cheerfully willing to do whatever it takes to make my life better. No wonder I am surprised! Wow! Sappy as it might sound, she means more to me than anything in the world. I will do anything for her. Period.

Post 500 is a very good time to take a look back at the basics. Most obvious, of course, is the fact that I am locked 24/7 in a Jail Bird chastity device. Based on our experience so far, it is unlikely that I will ever go more than a few hours without this cage for the rest of my life.

This cage, as Mrs. Lion pointed out, keeps us focused on sex. Right now it is sex for me, but I have faith that it will be for Mrs. Lion too as time goes by. My cage has become a second “wedding ring”. It’s something that has great symbolic value as well as its obvious physical function. It is a constant reminder to both of us of our respective roles and our sexual commitments. It means that I will never again  make myself come. Any sex I enjoy will be provided by Mrs. Lion.

Oddly, at least to me, after nearly eleven months, I still like this idea. There are times I wish I could masturbate. They are few and far between. I am learning to accept that masturbation is never an option for me. I am completely dependent on Mrs. Lion for release. That brings me back to my first comment. I am continually surprised by how much she is willing to do for (and to) me.

She has accepted the responsibility for my sexual happiness. She understands that it includes hurting me and depriving me of release. That is not easy to do. It takes time and energy. It can be emotionally difficult to cause her mate pain and watch his frustration. I know it may be harder for Mrs. Lion to see me desperately horny than it is for me to suffer being in that state.

She is training me. I know she didn’t really sign up to do that in the beginning, but she is training me to be obedient and to accept her decisions about what pleasure I get or don’t get. It is something I want, of course, but over nearly eleven months there have been many times I wished I could do what I wanted. But I am learning. Just as Mrs. Lion is learning that hurting me and depriving me is ultimately what will make me happy, I am learning that obedience and acceptance are what I need to be happy.

You’re probably tired of hearing about Lion’s back. I’m sure he’s tired of having it hurt. I’m tired of not being able to do anything to help him. Last night he was in so much pain I was afraid to touch him. So much for his tree-humping horniness. I bet he’d be glad to just be sexually frustrated at this point.

It has given me time to think about things. While I still dislike the idea of the cage when I want spontaneity, overall I like the cage. It’s brought us closer together. It’s made sex more of a focus. While I still don’t care if I get sex, I care if Lion gets sex. Or does not get sex, whichever the case may be. At least he gets attention, which is a huge change from before he was caged.

As we’ve both said in the past, we were close and loved each other even during the times of little to no sex. We’re best friends and really believe in the for better or worse, in sickness and health part of our vows. He’s grateful that I take care of him and I wonder why he always seems so shocked when I do. I guess that’s ultimately how I can do the things he wants me to do to him. It’s all part of taking care of him. Ironically I have to hurt him to make him feel good. I have to restrain him to free him. I think I’ve stopped trying to understand it and I’ve just committed to do it. And, apparently, I’m quite good at it.

I’m hoping that Lion will be feeling better by the weekend. We’ve got some catching up to do in the play department. And in the manscaping department. A furry and frisky Lion needs a lot of attention.