Male Chastity Journal

First the news. Last night Mrs. Lion finally gave me an orgasm after 11 long days waiting. She teased me for a long time. I showed a great deal of interest in more. She has great hands. She told me that it wasn’t my scheduled night. Being a good team player, I said, “I don’t care.” She asked if I really wanted to come. I rolled my eyes and said, “Yup! To my great surprise she moved between my legs and gave me incredible oral sex. It felt wonderful. And for the record, now that it is over, I still feel wonderful. I don’t feel any post-orgasmic letdown; just a nice sleepy feeling like I am a happy lion puddle. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

Our progress in enforced chastity and domestic discipline happens in spurts. We (usually me) come up with something new. It could be longer waits, maintenance spankings, more teasing, or tougher rules. We then try it and write about it. After a few tries, if Mrs. Lion decides to continue, we formalize it. For example, I suggested FLM^* and domestic discipline.  Mrs. Lion agreed to give it a try. An important component of both is discipline and punishment. These are two activities that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to do. So, in typical lion fashion, we established a set of explicit rules and set punishment days on Mondays and Thursdays. I was charged with keeping a list of my offenses (you can see it on the right column of this page if you scroll down). Mrs. Lion decided that spanking is her preferred punishment. She worked hard to make punishment spankings painful. I had a lot of trouble holding still.

If you have been following our progress, you know that I have managed to be a good lion and avoid being punished. That left us with imperfect spanking skills for Mrs. Lion and poor spankee behavior for me. Essentially, Mrs. Lion needs to be desensitized to hurting me and I need to learn to hold still no matter how much it hurts. In keeping with our past methodology, we have just instituted twice-weekly maintenance spankings on Tuesday and Friday nights. These spankings are the same as punishment spankings. Their purpose, however, is to allow us to learn effective discipline. It’s not easy to do, but if we don’t do it, we both feel that our attempts at discipline will not be effective and we may just let it die out.

We have had success with enforced chastity because we made a commitment to pursue it and scheduled activities. Now, we are in a new, experimental phase. Mrs. Lion is not telling me when I will finally get an orgasm. She has also increased tease and denial to an every-night activity. I’m experiencing heightened arousal. I try to get hard many times a day when my mind drifts to my dear lioness.  As she pointed out to me, what man wouldn’t want daily sexual activity? Well duh. I think that my daily sexual activity has a more positive effect than getting a guy off every day. I do hope this experiment becomes our habit.

Yesterday, during the day, in one of our email exchanges, I mentioned that more frequent punishment spankings for practice would make it easier for her to just spank me on the spot when needed. She disagreed and reminded me that we have a paddle in the kitchen. We do. It hangs from the refrigerator (see image) and is easily accessible. Years ago when we first started playing with rules, Mrs. Lion would use it when I dropped ice or food. She would just tell me to bend over and give me a couple of swats.  This little paddle really hurts. She stopped using it years ago. Now that domestic discipline is in force, when I break one of my “kitchen” rules, we have added it to my list of infractions and I am spanked during one of our scheduled sessions. Maybe Mrs. Lion will return to using her kitchen paddle to put the punishment closer to the infraction. Either way, I get punished. She has expressed an interest in punishing closer to my wrongdoing. Maybe we can use the kitchen paddle to help make that a habit. Will I get both bedroom and kitchen maintenance spankings? If she starts using that dusty paddle again, I am very sure it won’t be just two or three swats.

Our pattern is to try things and then learn after we have done them for a while whether or not they  work for us. One thing we’ve learned is that if we don’t commit to something and make sure we go at it full force, we will drop it long before we can discover its benefits. So, for a while we will have to practice domestic discipline. We both have to learn on a visceral level our places in this power exchange.

^* FLM Female Led Marriage.

Last night I had a feeling that Mrs. Lion would finally make me come. I think as little as a month ago, she would have. Now, things are different. We had a very nice, but frustrating, tease and deny. Mrs. Lion very skillfully masturbates me right up to the point of no return. Then she stops. Her techniques are amazing. I feel myself getting hard inside my cage just remembering. Perhaps we should make our own tease and deny video. Her techniques deserves to be memorialized. Maybe she will agree to do it.

I really have no idea when I will finally ejaculate. However, last night it occurred to me that while coming would be great, the next night we will be back again with tease and deny. Nothing will change. I will still dream about the next orgasm. Or is that right? I dream about my sweet lioness’ hands and mouth. Orgasm isn’t really part of my day and night dreams. I keep talking about my sexual ratio. Right now it’s more than 50 edgings to every ejaculation. If ejaculation were my sole target, I would be a very unhappy lion right now. But I’m not. I am massively horny. I can’t wait until the next time her hands are on my cock and balls. That’s what I’m horny for.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to come. I really do. If Mrs. Lion gave me more frequent orgasms, nothing would change. I love our daily sessions with or without ejaculation. I guess that ejaculating is a special treat. I crave it the way I want a great dessert. I would be sad if I never had that dessert, but I am very happy I get such a nice dinner first. For me, foreplay lasts days and sometimes weeks on end. But no matter how much I love all of this attention, I do hope that someday soon I will be able to have an orgasm.

It’s always risky for me to write a post about enforced chastity when I am this horny. Yesterday (Monday) was my tenth day of waiting. I’ve been teased every day for the last week. Sitting here alone at my desk, my thoughts are sexual. They are also considering the power possibilities with me being this motivated. Mrs. Lion has been extremely good as a keyholder. She isn’t going to cave and give me an orgasm just because I whine or growl. She’ll give me one when she decides I should get it. This is exactly what I asked her to do. She is doing it very very well. I even think she enjoys my desperation.

One of the concepts that originally attracted me to enforced chastity was the power exchange. I really like the fact that at this point if I had my way (which I can sometimes get from my softhearted lioness), I would have an orgasm now, but I can’t. My cage is firmly locked on and I know that I will be edged and put away horny again tonight. This demonstrates our power exchange at a visceral level for me. But there’s a problem. Mrs. Lion knows I hate to wait but also get value from the frustration. How does she know when enough is enough? After all, there is no reason to let me ejaculate. I like the frustration and as far as I know I won’t turn green or my balls won’t fall off if I don’t get to do it. Yeah, it feels like that might happen, but I know it won’t.

This problem was sort of solved with arbitrary orgasm dates that Mrs. Lion set. At least there was a plan of sorts that governed my lockup. Now, I don’t know when that date is. Nor do I know if Mrs. Lion will honor it. That’s fine, of course. At this point (ten days in), I acutely feel the little twinges every time my mind turns to anything sexual. I can get hard just writing this post. We have agreed that there was no value to us in making me wait extended amounts of time. I suspect that if my wait goes past a certain point — I have no idea what that might be — that my urgency will diminish and I will begin losing interest in orgasm. As I’ve written recently, my expectations for sex no longer include ejaculation. Over a year of being trained to reach the edge of orgasm and then stopping taught me that sex for me is building up excitement but rarely going over the edge. I haven’t gotten to the point where I prefer edging to orgasm, but I no longer expect ejaculation when sexually stimulated.

The problem of when is it the right time for me to ejaculate remains. I know a lot of keyholders wrestle with this. Recently, I read of a couple whose solution is interesting. His keyholder has set a minimum wait. Initially it was a week, but I think she extended it. During that time there is no chance he will come. But, after the minimum he might be allowed an orgasm. If he has been good and has pleased her, she might get him off on the last day of his wait or make him wait a day or two more just for fun. If he has slipped up in some way or if she has been aggravated by external forces that have nothing to do with him, he will wait longer. He likes this very much because it keeps him on his toes at all times.

I think it is an interesting idea because he has some control (by being good) over how much longer he has to wait, but not full control. If his minimum time is ten days (I wonder why I picked that number), and he has been working hard to keep her happy, he knows he has a chance that on or not long after that day, he will most likely ejaculate. But since his release depends on more than his behavior. Bad weather, an argument with a coworker, or just her period could force him to wait longer. I think that’s important. A power exchange has to have some fairness to it, but not too much. Otherwise it is just a contract with the keyholder enforcing the terms. I think that she has to have real power which means she can arbitrarily make her male wait.

The domestic discipline people will hate me for this comment, but I think the same is true of punishment. The reason so many people into DD (Domestic Discipline) do maintenance spankings is that the ability of the top to inflict pain arbitrarily is the best way to remind an adult surrendered male that she is firmly in charge.

Consistency in discipline, or for that matter, determining release dates is crucial in terms of correcting behavior. But there has to be some inconsistency introduced by adding time or swats arbitrarily, “just because.” It’s the joker in the deck for enforced chastity and FLM. If Mrs. Lion announced, “Tonight is the night I had planned on letting you come, but I am not in the mood. Maybe I will be tomorrow,” it would have a very strong effect on me. I don’t think it would be a positive effect, but it would underline our power exchange.

That’s why the title of this post. I have been teased and edged twice as much as before. Ten days to me is a very long time to wait. I have to be stupid to make this suggestion now. Of course, I have no idea if Mrs. Lion has any plans to get me off anyway. But I think you have to agree, this is putting more fuel on my already desperately large fire.

It doesn’t matter if it’s spring or summer, the Lion weather report usually calls for horniness with periods of extreme horniness followed by more horniness. He’s told me twice today already and it’s not even noon. Poor thing. This nightly edging is really working. I wonder how much longer he can make it.

Last night I discovered that the calendar in the bedroom is, in fact, correct. It says April 17. I thought his last orgasm was April 19. I was wrong. If you don’t think two days matters much, just ask a poor Lion who’s been teased every night since April 17. It matters. And he has no idea when his next orgasm will be. Could be tonight. Could be tomorrow. Could be next week. I was actually wondering last night if I should tell him on that day, before I start to tease him. Or should I keep it a secret right up until the end? Even if he knows before I start teasing him, he won’t know exactly when it will happen. Well, I don’t have to decide right this minute anyway. Have I mentioned he doesn’t know when his next orgasm is? Evil Mrs. Lion.

Tonight is punishment night. At first Lion didn’t mention it this morning. Then he said he almost “forgot” so he would get punished. He feels his back side needs some attention but agreed that wasn’t the way to go about it. So now I think I have to decide on maintenance swats. Mondays and Thursdays are punishment nights. Tuesdays and Fridays are now maintenance swat nights. What does that entail? My Lion’s tush will receive six fairly hard swats just to keep those cheeks accustomed to being rosy. And I give him about a week to realize he should never have asked for maintenance swats in the first place. Silly boy.