Does Enforced Chastity Turn Other Guys On?
This is the time of year when I just have to force myself out of bed in the morning. It’s dark, rainy and cold. I feel my age and find myself worrying about how much future I have left. Enforced chastity is very much a kink that deals with the future. It’s all about the next orgasm. Of course, living in the moment is possible as long as I don’t include sex in the moment. Well, I can include it as something that’s not going to happen until the appointed date.
It’s odd in a way that I even have that thought. I think more about sex than ever. When I could get off anytime I wanted, sex for me was just a fleeting thought now and then. Yes, I saw women who were sexy and speculated about them naked. But I never really put any thought into the next time I would get off. Why should I? All I needed was my left hand and some privacy.
Things are completely different now. I know that sex on demand is no longer possible for me. For some reason that fact causes me to think about getting off much more than before enforced chastity. It isn’t as though I don’t get sex. Mrs. Lion is very generous about giving me orgasms. It’s just how I react to being caged. Before starting enforced chastity, the idea of being locked up in a chastity device would turn me on. So, when I thought about being unable to get hard, I got hard. Now that I am locked up, I think more about getting off. What can I say?
Many years ago when I first learned about enforced chastity, I was more surprised at my reaction to it than I was to the idea itself. I had never considered that there such a thing as enforced male chastity. As soon as I discovered it, I had to learn more. Now over 15 years later, I am locked in a chastity device.
Logically, my reaction makes no sense. Well, actually it does. I also get turned on by bondage. Tie me spread-eagle to the bed and I am hard before the last cuff gets fastened. Something about losing control turns me on. Not being able to have sex makes me want it more. It’s like saying, “Don’t think about chocolate cake.” What are you thinking about? You get the idea. I’ve been turned on by this from childhood. Long before I had any idea what was happening, I would get hard thinking about being tied up.
It could be that enforced chastity has that same appeal. My penis is helpless; trapped inside a steel cage. No matter how much I want to be hard and to come, the cage prevents it. That is hot, isn’t it?
Who Listens to Lion?
Lion is all healed. He worried that I might aggravate things if I gave him a hand job so he suggested the Magic Wand. Of course it worked wonders. He was hard in no time and it didn’t hurt the sore spot.
Earlier, he said he had to wait until his next scheduled date of January 6. I never said that. I told him I still owed him an orgasm. He said I didn’t owe him anything. According to him I didn’t. Who listens to him? Not me. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t get his orgasm on New Year’s day. I said he would get it when he was ready for it. Last night he was ready. Therefore, he got his orgasm last night. It’s as simple as that. Don’t make things any more complicated than they need to be.
On the flip side, he says I owe him swats because he moved the other day. Just because he says it doesn’t make it true. I haven’t decided if he’ll get punishment swats for moving during punishment. Maybe adding more swats for not staying still during swats doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it should be something else, like tiny clothes pins. If he knows the punishment for not staying still is worse than the swats themselves, maybe he won’t move. Maybe it should be two or three days added to his wait. Maybe it should be diapers. I need to think about it.
At this point, Lion is safely locked away again. I’m pretty sure leaving him wild so he could apply medicine and not have the cage rubbing helped heal him quickly. Not that he would have anyway, but having a sore weenie really kept him from playing with himself while unlocked.
Things You Should Know Before Starting Enforced Male Chastity: Part 1 – The Device
I’m within a week of completing my second year locked in enforced chastity. In that time Mrs. Lion and I have written over 1,000 posts on the subject. All those posts track our lives and how they have changed since I surrendered control over my sexuality. While we have a number of pages on how to start enforced chastity (see the tabs at the top of this page), I thought I would give my perspective at this time.
The chastity device is the most debated part of enforced chastity. Put simply, it is a device that physically prevents erection and orgasm. Some guys mistakenly believe that the device should accommodate their erections, just prevent masturbating. That’s completely wrong. The device should fit tightly enough to prevent any growth inside the cage or tube.
The big problem in the beginning is selecting the right device. You can find an endless array of devices for sale on the Internet. Amazon has resellers that mark up devices you can get directly from China where they are made. These devices are very inexpensive; some as little as $25. If you can find one that fits you properly, it’s like winning the lottery. There are thousands of articles on selecting a device. I think I can help cut through the crap. A lot of women say that all male genitals are alike. They’re not. That’s why finding an off-the-shelf device that will serve you is so unlikely.
The big problem is that a chastity device has to be comfortable enough to wear 24 hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week indefinitely. Mine has been on over 95% of the time. It only comes off for play sessions and the very rare break of a few days. That means if I am wearing a device that chafes around my balls or irritates my penis, I won’t be able to keep it on. It will interfere with my sleep and make moving around hell. If it hurts when I try to get hard, then I will awaken in pain every night when my body decides to give me an nocturnal erection. I’ve tested at least 20 different devices and every single one hurt to wear enough to convince me to take it off. I know that a lot of guys muscle through the discomfort with soothing creams under their base rings and tolerating the painful midnight erections.
This simply won’t do. The point of enforced chastity is sexual control, not enduring uncomfortable hardware. The only purpose of a chastity device is to prevent arousal and orgasm. The ideal device is so comfortable that you forget it is there. Oh yes, it should also be difficult to remove without the key. Let’s get security out of the way right now. Unless you have a penis piercing with a locking ring on it, there is no way to make a ball capture device impossible to escape. I don’t think security is very important. After all, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I don’t know of any cases when the female partner proposed enforced chastity. So, as far as I’m concerned, I won’t try to escape. I do want it secure enough that pulling out isn’t easy and putting it back is even harder. I don’t want to be tempted to jerk off when massively horny. But I don’t need more security than enough to control a passing urge to be naughty.
For me, comfort is the key. Right behind comfort is ease of use. Some devices are just a pain to put on or take off. Since Mrs. Lion puts me into my cage and takes my penis out, the device has to not frustrate her in the effort. I know that a lot of guys manage their own chastity devices. Over time, a device that is hard to deal with is going to be frustrating. Going a long time without a chance to come is frustrating enough. Who needs more aggravation?
I wear a Jail Bird custom made by Mature Metal. It isn’t the sexiest device, but it is secure and extremely comfortable. I forget I am wearing it most of the time and a nocturnal erection never wakes me up. It costs about $400 with the security screw option (that replaces the padlock with a screw that requires a special tool [supplied] to remove). Precise measurements are required. Even with careful measurement, adjustments will probably be needed. Fortunately, Mature Metal and other custom cage makers are happy to adjust for a reasonable charge. I needed to have my cage shortened by a full 1/2″ before I got the right fit. It fits perfectly now and to look at me in it (Click the MORE link for NSFW image of me in my cage) you would imagine that I am tiny when hard. I’m not giant, but erect my penis is a full 6 1/2″ long (measured from my belly side).
That’s the thing about penises, they are extremely flexible when flaccid. They easily fit into spaces you would never imagine possible. Since a proper fitting cage should always be in contact with the sides and head of your penis, it needs to be considerably shorter than you would imagine. I don’t even know mine is on and you can see how short it is.
Four hundred dollars? Are you kidding? I’m not rich! That’s what I usually hear when I suggest starting off with a custom cage. The cage is the only thing you have to buy. It’s needed for the “sport”. You need the right equipment. A lot of guys say that they just want to “try chastity out” and to do that they don’t want to spend much money. I get that. But are you really trying out enforced chastity when you have to suffer when wearing the device? I bought a few of the cheap, Chinese devices before I got serious with enforced chastity. After trying out four devices (cost over $150), I found one I could tolerate. That’s when I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. After a week of wearing the device I thought would work, I was in pain. The hinge on the base ring hurt, the squared sides of the ring chafed me. The cage was too long and peeing was random, at best. I realized that this experiment wouldn’t have a chance without better equipment. That’s when I ordered the Jail Bird.
The good news about wearing those cheap devices was that I had a very good idea what size base ring I needed. That is often the trickiest part of fitting. Mature Metal charges very little to swap rings, so getting the size wrong is no big deal. Once ordered, it took six weeks to get my custom cage. I wore the Chinese one until it arrived. I was so happy to make the change! The fact is that I would have never been able to continue with enforced chastity in an off-the-shelf device. With one, I could focus on the real challenges of enforced chastity.
Quite the Pair
It’s safe to say that Lion and I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking we disappoint each other. I think I don’t do enough for him. He thinks he doesn’t do enough for me. We’re a mess.
Last night I gave Lion his punishment swats for saying he’s broken all the time. Before I started, I warned him that if he moved we’d have to start all over again. One of his New Year’s resolutions was to stay still for punishment no matter how much it hurt. After eight or ten hard swats last night, with a pause in the middle for effect, he rolled over and told me it was just too much. I thought I could get him to roll over but then I realized it really was too much for him. Naturally, I thought I had gone too far. And also naturally, he thought he hadn’t gone far enough. He spent the rest of the night apologizing for moving and for breaking his resolution. He thinks he failed me. I kept telling him it was okay. After all, I thought I had failed him. We’re quite a pair.
This morning he asked if we can try again. We can. But why? What am I punishing him for? This is where I lose focus. He already feels bad that he moved, so isn’t he already punishing himself? He didn’t disappoint me. If anything, he disappointed himself. When my kids did something stupid, I’d yell for a bit and then tell them they were grounded for a certain period of time. When my then-husband came home we’d discuss it and he’d yell all over again and tell them they were grounded. Why? I’d already handled it. We’re done here. Why beat a dead horse?
So tonight I’ll punish Lion for not staying still during punishment. My challenge will be to make the swats as hard as last night. Punishing him for moving does not annoy me as much as his saying he’s broken.
