Updating Our Play Schedule
Over the last two years we’ve learned a lot about what does and doesn’t work for us. My biggest lesson has been that change takes time; usually more time than I would like. What seems simple in my mind’s eye ends up being much more complex in practice. Take sensation play, for example. I love being tied up, CBT (Cock and Ball Torture), spanking, and anal play to just name a few. Mrs. Lion has no problem with those. So, in my mind it seemed reasonable and fun if we could add sensation play to our teasing sessions; sort of adding a “toll” of pain for the pleasure.
Mrs. Lion agreed to try it. It didn’t take long for us to realize a few things. I discovered that I was not looking forward to the sensation play. It got to the point that I almost asked Mrs. Lion to skip teasing me. She knew I was getting tired of CBT. It’s her go-to play technique. I was. But I was also having trouble with so much pain play.
She, on the other hand, was stressing about what to do each time. CBT is easy. She has a bunch of toys in a ziploc bag right near the bed. She knew I was not happy with so much of that. Last weekend she had me wear a butt plug for a few hours. That was fun and not too much work for her. But if I had to do that every day, it would quickly grow old. It turns out I’m not a bottomless pit of bottoming desires.
I think that this discovery is a relief to my lioness. If I were in her place it would be to me. Now, she wonders exactly what I do want. So am I. We can rule out daily sensation play. Maybe we should try weekly instead. That way she has a chance to plan what she wants to do and to build anticipation and worry in me for days and days. If weekly isn’t often enough we can add a midweek session. I’m quite sure that more than twice a week is too much for both of us.
In a recent post, Mrs. Lion asked me to list what sort of play I would like; sort of like asking me if I want poison or the electric chair. I promised to think about it and come up with a list. Here’s what I have so far:
- Spanking. She knows I love the fun kind when she gives me a hot, red butt building gradually.
- Anal play. Working up to pegging with dildos and maybe using the fucking machine once I get used to penetration would be good. I ordered a smaller Vac-U-Lock one that will fit on our machine. Butt plugs are a standby too.
- Bondage. Everyone knows how much I like that.
- CBT. I do like it, just not exclusively.
I’m sure there’s more, but these four represent very big categories. If you want to get some idea of just how much, take a look at SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Weisman. It’s an excellent guide to beginning sensation play. Mrs. Lion said in her post yesterday that she would be doing her own research. She also mentioned something about frilly panties. Has she been thinking about that along with the dreaded nail polish?
I am extremely lucky to be married to someone who cares so much about me that she is willing to do research on how to torture and embarrass me. What a girl! Seriously, she has consistently gone way out of her way to make my dreams come true. I am truly the luckiest guy in the world!
Lion Had His Chance
Last night Lion and I talked a bit about things he would like to do more often. He said it was difficult to come up with a list on the spur of the moment. He also said he is reluctant to make a list because it would be like a menu for me to pick and choose from. Well, duh! What does he think I’ve been doing all along? I’ve generally been doing things he’s taught me. I didn’t know any of this stuff beforehand. The only things I came up with on my own are the Velcro and the nail polish, and those are really just extensions of bondage and frilly panties.
What’s the big deal if he gives me a menu anyway? So he tells me what he’d like more of and maybe what he’d like less of. Does that mean I’m always going to follow the menu? Sometimes I can go a-la-cart and sometimes I can go for the secret menu items. Sometimes I take his idea and twist it in a way he never thought of. I don’t usually blindly follow the herd. I just want to make sure I’m not forgetting something he really likes to do. We have a lot of toys and sometimes all the paddles start to look alike when some are sting-y and others are thumpy. Some toys are better for X and others for Y.
He has offered to help me figure out how to use something if I am clueless. I may need some help. On the other hand, I can probably research online like he wants me to. I’ll putter around the dungeon and come up with my own ideas. They won’t necessarily be ideas Lion likes. Oh well. He had his chance. [Lion – Spoiler alert. Actually, my post tomorrow talks about what I might like.]
A Week Away From The Two-Year Mark
In one week it will be our second chastiversary. For a couple who had almost no sexual contact in December 2013, we managed to start, build, and sustain enforced chastity for two, whole years. Most of the credit has to go to Mrs. Lion. Since we began living together, she has been willing to do anything that makes me happy. Over the years she’s given me wonderful gifts; some she had to borrow money to give me. The greatest gift is her love. She still has no interest in sex for herself, but she works hard to make sure my sex life is both fun and frustrating.
I wish I could do something to revive her libido. I miss hearing her sounds of pleasure when she comes. I miss so many things we once shared. She is a great lion rider. When she rode me for her orgasms, she would face me. That position gave her the most direct stimulation. It also gave me the least. I really liked that. Now when she rides me it is reverse cowgirl with her facing my feet. I get the most stimulation that way. All this sexual reminiscing is not meant to make my lioness feel badly or for her to have orgasms whether she wants them or not. It’s just very pleasant memories.
Two years of enforced chastity has changed us. I’ve learned that my orgasm is not the point of my penis being stimulated. I am very happy to have non-orgasmic sex. I’ve also learned to growl less, not interrupt as much, and to make sure that I ask permission before just running off and doing something. I’m not very good at any of those things, but I think I am making progress.
Mrs. Lion has learned a few things too. She is more assertive with me. She even yells at me sometimes. She’s not afraid to use spanking as a way to assist my memory, though I think the spanking part is more my doing than hers. I do think that she has grown stronger with me. I love to see that progress even if it does cost me some freedom.
What I like best about our two years with enforced chastity is the way my lioness and I have grown even closer. We talk more; we laugh more; we touch and snuggle more. Through the hardest times our closeness continued. I know we are inseparable with or without enforced chastity. I think it is easier and offers more opportunities for growth if we continue. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter what I want. Mrs. Lion has the key and has made it very clear that things will not be changing. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wonder if I really want to continue. Then I remember it isn’t up to me and I go back to sleep.
Mixing Things Up a Bit
For some reason I thought today was the 6th. Lion probably wishes it was the 6th. We didn’t play last night so I don’t know how horny he is, but I’m pretty sure he’s ready for another orgasm. It takes very little to convince him. As you can see by the “countdown to Lion orgasm” chart on the right side of the screen, he gets to come tomorrow. Not today. Today is the 5th. Poor Lion.
I’ll have to think about what I can do for/to Lion tonight. We’ve been trying to figure out what caused his sore. It may have been a pinch, although that usually results in a bruise. He thinks something scratched him. When I suggested it might have been the Velcro, he deemed it too dangerous to play with. Nice try, my pet. The Velcro stays. I’ll just have to be a little more careful. Needless to say, I won’t be using it tonight. Lion was getting tired of CBT anyway. As if it matters what he wants…
However, I do want to take a step back and maybe together we can do a sort of inventory of ways to play. I get caught up in the same old, same old most of the time. It’s no wonder Lion’s tired of CBT. It’s my go-to thing. Yes, I know I can spank him and restrain him and why don’t we all just lapse into a coma doing the same things over and over and over and over. I need to mix things up a bit more. Tonight we’ll talk about it and come up with some ideas. It doesn’t have to be regimented. I don’t want to do CBT on Mondays, spanking on Tuesdays, etc. We just need to get out of the rut we’ve been in. It’s mostly my fault. I do the easiest stuff more often.
