Spanking (Page 149)

(I am writing this on Sunday morning.) On Saturday night I got the first of my earned punishments. I assumed the position: half my body on the side of the bed the other half (my legs) dangling off the side. Generally Mrs. Lion likes to sit next to me when she spanks me. She uses her long-handled ferule paddle. This is easily the most painful paddle we own.

This time she said that she stood over me. The experience was very different and not nearly as painful as usual. Her swats ended up landing on either side of my bottom (see picture). I’m not sure why it came out this way but I ended up with those peculiar marks on either side of my butt. It hurt a lot while she did it, but not nearly as badly as her normal spanking.

She said my bottom was red all over. It doesn’t really look very red in the picture but I believe her. She said that she may have been pulling her swats a bit because she felt she had more power standing over me. I think she’s right in that respect. She wasn’t hitting nearly as hard as she usually does. This still doesn’t explain why the entire center of my tender bottom was missed. She doesn’t have an explanation either. Because the area that got the most attention was to either side of my “sit spot”, it doesn’t hurt at all when I sit down. I can’t see it, but I’m pretty sure the marks have also disappeared.

I didn’t offer a review of her spanking on Saturday. I’m not crazy! It just seemed peculiar to me that she ended up with the pattern she did. Maybe we need to find another spot for her to punish me. There’s only about 3 feet between the bed and the wall where I received my punishment. That doesn’t give her much space to move around and get the proper perspective. I don’t want to be unfair to her.

Mrs. Lion is generally not too interested in discussing this particular subject. Maybe I will suggest that I go back to being flat on the bed. The problem with that is that there is some distance between me and her body. This is good in terms of giving her leverage with the paddle, but not so good for letting her use one hand to open my crack in the other two beat me inside of it or otherwise manipulate my flesh to assure that she gets an even “burn”. The position we’re currently using is probably the best because she’s been the most effective with it.

I don’t think either of us realized the effect that changing her position would have on her ability to discipline me. If I were an objective observer, I would imagine that her spanking technique is most effective when she sits next to me. I wonder what it would be like if she straddled my back? We have a substantial backlog of spankings that could give her an opportunity to test different ideas: four more as of Sunday morning.

You can also tell that I’m not as “hung over” from my Saturday night spanking as I would have been with her other technique. If my butt hurt a lot while I am sitting here, I would be far less willing to discuss helping her make things worse for me. I’m not too smart this way. I need a painful reminder that I should keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, in truth I have a lot invested in making her the most effective disciplinarian I can. When she does a really effective job of punishing me, I think she gets a sense of accomplishment. I also take my offense much more seriously. Let’s face it, it’s hard to take it too seriously if I get a little bit of ketchup, for example, on my shirt. No matter how much I am beaten for that, it’s hard to consider that a significant life event. I consider it a practice round for us both. We got to the actual tournament, when I upset Mrs. Lion on Saturday.

That’s different. I want her to be incredibly effective at making me unhappy that I did that. We already know from experience with the spills, eating first, and forgetting punishment days, that punishment is effective as a training aid. My slips are few and far between (except for spills which are highly dependent on my coordination and ability to see well). My vision isn’t great nowadays and my coordination is poor due to side effects from spinal surgery. That makes it far more likely I’m going to get some food on my shirt.

I’m glad Mrs. Lion is not taking those things into account. I need things, particularly rules, to be inflexible. Flexibility when it relates to discipline confuses me and ruins the conditioning effect of punishment. Whether or not you agree with the way we are doing things, our experiences have been very positive. To our surprise, we both missed it when Mrs. Lion had to suspend my rules after my surgery last spring. It wasn’t that I went crazy. I didn’t. But we both felt something was missing in our lives. I expected to feel that way. I absolutely didn’t think Mrs. Lion would.

But she did. She couldn’t put it into words, but she said that she felt something was missing. Now that we’re back to our disciplinary relationship, we’re both happier. Go figure.

Mrs. Lion often accuses me of generalizing her actions. This time I think I’m justified. She’s definitely turned a corner when it comes to punishing me. Two significant things have changed: The first is that she is giving me much more severe spankings. The last five have left me with a sore bottom for days afterward. The second is that she is resolved to do what she decides. By that I mean I can’t talk her out of a punishment.

On Thursday night at about 9:30 PM, Mrs. Lion told me that I didn’t remind her that it was punishment day. She’s right, I didn’t. It had completely slipped my mind. I was excited about receiving a new, sophisticated control system for our TV, satellite, DVD, and online entertainment system. I was working hard to get it to do what we needed. Reminding Mrs. Lion a punishment day completely slipped my mind. When she told me that I had forgotten, I was a little surprised. She was right. I asked her what my punishment would be. She told me it would be four spankings. I said,

“Since your spankings have gotten so much more painful, don’t you think that’s a lot?”

“This isn’t the first time you forgot. You need to be reminded.”

“But, don’t you think you one spanking would be enough since it’s so severe?”

“No. You’ve forgotten this before. Four spankings might teach you to remember despite distractions”

That was the end of the conversation. Four bottom-blistering spankings is pretty severe. Mrs. Lion sent me an email yesterday on the subject of bleeding. Strong spankings tend to open the skin here and there on my bottom. I’ve checked with other men who are disciplined and learned that this is common. Apparently, after time passes, the bleeding reduces or stops completely. That must mean a lot of painful spankings are needed to make that happen.

Anyway, Mrs. Lion commented that she could immediately put a Band-Aid over any spot that was bleeding. She went on to say that would prevent blood from getting on her paddle. It’s good that she cares about her equipment. Clearly, blood and bruises are not a deterrent when she is punishing me.

Before the usual comments about how horrifically abusive that is come in, let me say that no real injury is suffered and, while I hate getting me spankings, this is a consensual activity. It’s essential in domestic discipline that the spankings are sufficiently severe that they send a strong message.

She commented that apparently my spankings don’t send a strong enough message. She expected me to ask her why she wasn’t giving me more days of spanking since this is a repeat offense. She was a little surprised that I kept my mouth shut. The fact that I did is a good sign that her punishments are not welcome at all and I’m not going to do anything to make them worse. She went on to answer the question that I didn’t ask and told me that since her spankings have gotten more severe, she didn’t think increasing the number would be necessary this time.

Just as there are ways to work out how long a man should wait between orgasms (that was in my post yesterday), there is a very simple method to determine how much punishment is needed to effect a change in behavior. The last time I forgot to remind Mrs. Lion of a punishment day, she sentenced me to four spankings. That was the last series of spankings I received. I got one more for spilling a little barbecue sauce on my shirt.

I think she’s not increasing the number this time because she’s seen firsthand the effects of her stronger spankings. I also suspect that the intensity of this series of spankings might be greater than the last series. She’s gotten past worrying about bleeding, bruises,and whining. I think that was a tough hurdle for her to get over. Some people think it’s wrong to get over it. It isn’t. Adult punishment spankings have to be very intense to send the right message. After all, pver the years I’ve enjoyed being spanked almost as intensely as part of a BDSM play session. In order for a disciplinary spanking to be effective, it has to go well past the most severe spanking I received as part of a play session.

Determining my particular spanking level isn’t all that different from how different men need different wait times between orgasms. My wait times are quite short but still effective. Others can go months on end between orgasms. The same is true of spankings. It all has to do with the effect it has on the spankee. Mrs. Lion has been dialing up intensity for quite a while. I’m sure she’s not done turning up the volume. Her objective is to make me take my punishment seriously and be sufficiently frightened of it to work very hard to avoid committing another spankable offense.

I’m sorry to say that apparently I didn’t get the message as well as I thought I did. There is no way I would’ve forgotten to remind her that yesterday was punishment day if I was truly deterred by my last spankings. Don’t get me wrong, they were really painful. Apparently, they weren’t painful enough. I hate saying this because things have gotten sufficiently intense to make me not want to provide feedback to my lioness. I have to be honest. She is really getting there but I think I need a bit more.

How big that “bit more” is worries me. It has to mean that spankings will go on longer and the swats will be harder. The women in the disciplinary wives club would be proud of Mrs. Lion. I’m proud of her. She’s doing something very difficult and not expected when she and I got together. Lioness 3.0 is on her way!

There’s one more area 3.0 needs to achieve. We’ve talked about it and she’s agreed she’s going to work hard to succeed. That area is expressing her feelings, particularly negative feelings, in a way that will teach me not to repeat the behavior that upset her. This is the most difficult hurdle of all.

If you think about it, this is hard for anybody. We don’t want to take the risk of telling somebody we don’t like what they did. That’s exactly what Mrs. Lion needs to do. She needs to let me know and then punish me appropriately. I think this next step will be extremely good for our relationship. I hope she will be able to take the first step soon.