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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Punishment

I accepted Mrs. Lion’s assigned wait time of 13 days with equanimity. Of course, today is only the second day after my orgasm. It’s easy to accept a wait now that I am not desperately horny. I knew the party had to end. As I wrote yesterday in my post, we had discussed and I had given thought to the continuation of my captivity. We both realized that what we are doing now is very effective for us. We also know that Mrs. Lion’s approach to my wait times works for us. So we will continue. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will make me wait much longer from time to time; probably not more than a month or so. I realize that it isn’t the length of the wait that gets my attention. It’s the wide differences in time between orgasms.

The short waits, four days sometimes, interrupted by a much longer one seem to keep me horny and interested in being well behaved and obedient. Actually, so far Mrs. Lion hasn’t associated my waits with my behavior. When I misbehave she handles it in a different way, usually with a firmly applied paddle. As a result, I don’t think about my waits in terms of behavior. They are predetermined. Mrs. Lion sits down every so often and marks her calendar with my orgasm days. She doesn’t change that often; only doing so when an occasion makes an adjustment sensible. She does reward me for going well above and beyond with a bonus orgasm. So, in my mind, being extra good earns me an orgasm; being naughty, a very painful spanking. To make this all maximally effective, she needs me very horny as much of the time as possible so that I will strive for that bonus orgasm. To do that, my waits are mostly under 14 days. After 14 days my interest tends to plateau or decline regardless of teasing and edging.

I don’t think that this separation of rewards and punishment was a conscious plan. But I think it turns out to be a happy accident. I am being conditioned to associate sexual satisfaction with being more pleasing  to my lioness. I associate being naughty (a toddler as she says) with a very painful punishment, but not associated with when I will get my next orgasm. This clear difference between reward and punishment is very effective. How long I wait for an orgasm is an arbitrary decision by Mrs. Lion. My behavior doesn’t influence my scheduled orgasm dates. However, I can earn a bonus orgasm that can reduce my wait substantially. The fact that my behavior doesn’t affect my schedule makes me work much harder for a bonus. I think that positive reinforcement is much better at behavior modification than negative reinforcement.

Let me explain how that works with me. Let’s say I have ten more days to wait. If Mrs. Lion connected my wait to behavior, if I do something that annoys her, she would add days to my wait. That seems to be an effective punishment, but it isn’t. Sure I will be upset for a while, but the upset is intellectual. Emotionally and physically, ten days is pretty far off, so changing the ten to 15 isn’t going to make me suffer. By the time the tenth day rolls around I will already be prepared for a 15 day wait. The more immediate a punishment is to the offense, the more effective it is. So waiting  extra days is way in the future. I won’t really associate the extra time with what I did wrong. But if right after the offense or a day or two later I get a painful spanking, I will associate the pain with my bad behavior. Similarly, if I get a bonus orgasm after Mrs. Lion recognizes my extra effort, I associate the reward with pleasing her.

FLM and enforced chastity are power exchanges. In our case, these exchanges include Mrs. Lion’s ability to require my obedience and discipline me as needed. She also has the ability to give me rewards. She is truly dominating me on a lifestyle basis. She is indisputably in charge here. If I start to forget that, she will remind me with her paddle.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Sex

Mrs. Lion growled at me in her post yesterday. She made it very clear that she didn’t like my growl about her not playing with me or waiting so long I couldn’t enjoy it. She hid the TV remotes. All she had to do was tell me I couldn’t watch. She wanted to make a point about my comment that I could pause the TV any time she told me she wanted to do something. I don’t know if you remember the sitcom, “Becker”. Ted Danson plays a grumpy family doctor. In one episode a teenage boy comes to Becker because he keeps getting spontaneous erections at odd times. He said (paraphrasing), “Once I was doing chores for my mom and I got one. Now she thinks I like doing them.” Today, when I read Mrs. Lion’s post I felt a distinct sexual twinge between my legs. I know that I hate that she said she would stop my TV watching and would lock me up Friday night instead of Sunday, but I got aroused. I can’t explain it, but I don’t like the implications. This was a very rare time when Mrs. Lion put her paw down. My head didn’t like it at all, but apparently another part of me did.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I did ask for FLM (Female Led Marriage) and domestic discipline, so some part of me wanted her to use her power. I truly didn’t like what she was going to do, but I liked that she did it. I learned two things from this: I had a positive sexual reaction to punishment that I truly didn’t want, and my reaction to what she said she was doing had a similar effect to playing with my penis. That is, the post was enough to start the hormones flowing and make me horny again. Last night Mrs. Lion edged me a couple of times which confirmed that mental stimulation is effective to keep me sexually interested. It wasn’t the same intensity she gets when she plays with me, but it was enough to light my pilot light. My scheduled orgasm is today and I am truly ready.

Last night you may have noticed that our site was unavailable now and then. This was due to scheduled data center maintenance and some security updates I had to do to my servers. I apologize if this inconvenienced you in any way. Mrs. Lion has promised extensive play and an orgasm today. I’ll tell you about it in my next post.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex

Lion likes to assume the worst. What I see as a week’s worth of getting used to his new job and how that affects the way things run around here, he sees as a loss for his libido and play time. It’s not enough that I said we’ll catch up on the weekend. He should know about trying to catch up on things since we’re trying to play catch up with our bills. It doesn’t happen overnight. Well it could, but I couldn’t make the weekend get here any faster. Believe me, I tried.

Today I was going to have a me day. Lion has had an extended, albeit unwanted, vacation for the past six months. Today was going to be my first me day in a long time. I had big plans. I had no plans. That’s what me time is. I was going to vegetate. Then life invaded. There are chores to do. I get it. Lion did a lot while he was home. I just wanted one day. Nope.

Lion is unhappy about being neglected. Understandable. I’m unhappy when he ignores me too. However, we spoke about the uncertainty of his new job. There were logistics we couldn’t control. By the time we get home we’re tired and then we need dinner and then we need showers and then we can settle in. Lion talks about pausing the TV. The other night when I went to take a shower he acted like he didn’t want to pause it so I could watch the show with him. But he wants to pause it to play. Okay. Last night he didn’t want to watch Jeopardy so he could turn on the football game. I’m going to tell him to pause the Giants when they are actually playing well so we can play? I don’t think so. Well, tonight that won’t be an issue.

I’m hiding the remotes. All of them. Living room, bedroom, Lion’s office – hidden. There’s nothing to pause if you can’t turn it on to begin with. Will I miss Jeopardy again? Yup. Will Lion be neglected tonight? Nope. Will I be able to resurrect Mr. Weenie from the dead? I don’t know but I’m going to try. And whether Mr. Weenie cooperates or not, Lion will be locked up again tonight. I know I said he was going to be wild till after his orgasm on Saturday or Sunday, but I’ve changed my mind. Don’t poke the lioness and you won’t feel her claws.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment

No matter what you read, both enforced chastity and FLM (Female Led Marriage) are practiced with the consent of the caged and/or disciplined male. That may lead you to believe that this is for guys with a strong submissive streak. That may be true of many, but it isn’t necessarily the case. Why would I, a healthy, sex-loving male consent to severe limits on sexual enjoyment? The fantasies say that I wouldn’t want that but I was either overpowered or tricked into giving away my ability to enjoy sex. The reality is different; kinda.

I am the willing accomplice of my lioness in my loss of sexual control and my training. She couldn’t do it if I didn’t agree to let her. In the beginning I asked to be locked in a chastity device and to be made to wait for an orgasm. That’s the fantasy. I not only consented, I asked for this to be done to me. Some guys sign a “contract” specifying the conditions of their enforced chastity. Obviously, these contracts aren’t enforceable by any court of law. They are agreements that showed the intent at the time they were signed. Similarly, Mrs. Lion and I had a verbal agreement about my chastity.

If my experience as a caged male truly made me unhappy, I was always free to withdraw my consent and go back to my prior condition. At least, that’s the absolute reality of the situation. But there are consequences to withdrawal of consent. In exchange for my loss of freedom I get a lot of sexual attention. The price, of course, is the loss of orgasm at the end of the foreplay. Should I choose to withdraw consent, my lioness could also withdraw the teasing and her services to give me orgasms. Saying no to enforced chastity is not without a high price.  As I wrote in an earlier post, “There are days that I wonder why I wanted my penis locked into a chastity device.” Why not just withdraw consent, use my emergency key, and return to a wild state? It’s not that simple. I like the increased attention I get as a caged male. I usually feel good about being locked in a chastity device. I know that eventually Mrs. Lion will give me an orgasm and I will love it. Mrs. Lion is a very smart lioness. She understands that my memory of the pleasure she gives me is a velvet chain that keeps me in my cage and willing to be horny as long as she wants.

FLM is that same. I like feeling Mrs. Lion’s power over me. Her discipline is very painful and I hate it, but the feeling of her power is electric. As she gets more used to her role as disciplining wife, I feel her control more and more. Truthfully, it is a very gradual process and I am never overwhelmed when she makes my leash a little shorter. I am being conditioned to enjoy each time the power is raised a notch. Each spanking that is more painful than the last carries with it the promise of her reinforcing her position. I hate it at the time, but I don’t want to withdraw my permission. I want her to be more powerful and continue shortening my leash. There is something sexual about her muscle flexing. I like that. I don’t like submitting sometimes and I always hate punishment, but if I withdraw consent I will lose that rush feeling her power gives me.

She knows this. I don’t think she is consciously escalating to draw me further in. I think her escalations are based on her own personal growth in this area. But the effect is the same as though she planned out a course of gradual domination that is almost imperceptible to me. I’ve helped her do this. I let her know where my vulnerabilities are and what actions will have the greatest effect on me.  Most of the time I know this is exactly what I want. When I lose sight of that, I still don’t withdraw consent because I know that this is something I not only asked for, I helped design it to make it most effective on me.