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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

It’s Sunday. The sun is making a rare appearance today here in the Northwest. Yesterday there was a lot of rain and some wind. The ground is littered with leaves. It’s too wet to mulch them. That gives us a nice excuse to relax and watch football. It’s a nice 65 degrees outside; fall weather in our part of the world. The sexual weather here has been surprisingly warm considering that my last orgasm was Friday night. The extended play Saturday night has a lot to do with my current state. You can’t be surprised.

Between football games, I perused the various chastity and FLM blogs. It interests me that a reasonably good fraction of male bloggers say they started out being disciplined for serious problems like drinking too much and other irresponsible behavior. Over time as those behaviors were extinguished, punishment was administered for minor offenses. Those offenses are similar to the ones that Mrs. Lion punishes. What troubles me is that without exception these men say they get spankings that leave them sore for days. It isn’t that I think that kind of intensity is wrong. It’s just that I can barely handle a spanking that burns for fifteen or twenty minutes after the spanking. I also complain loudly and make an effort to get away. Is it that I am just a wimp? It could be. Since the only bloggers who refer to spankings that are this intense are men, I wonder if they are telling the truth or exaggerating for the sake of their own internal fantasies.

Let’s assume that they do get long-lasting spankings. Maybe they can hold still and remain fairly quiet because this kind of punishment was used since they were little kids. I’ve noticed that my ability to take strong spanking has improved since Mrs. Lion began punishing me. I am very far from being able to hold still for a spanking that will hurt the next day. That bothers me. I really should be able to take it. That’s why I keep mentioning it. Certainly, I am not happy that Mrs. Lion pays attention to my inability to handle the spanking. If there is any time when I should feel that I have absolutely no control, it is during punishment.

My feelings of inadequacy aside, the reason domestic discipline is imposed is simple: It’s supposed to correct behaviors the disciplining wife doesn’t like. She is successful when the undesired behavior isn’t repeated. It stands to reason that if I repeat an undesired behavior, the next punishment should be more severe. If it isn’t, at least for me, the “price” for eating first, for example, remains constant. So, if I forget now and then, I pay the same “toll”. I may not like it, but my incentive to not repeat the behavior is no stronger. It only gets stronger when the punishment gets more severe with each infraction. It won’t take too many enhanced spankings before avoiding the undesired behavior is always front of mind for me.

This is one area of FLM that I can’t help Mrs. Lion manage. In her post yesterday, she mentioned that going through all the steps to secure me to the bed are just too much work. I immediately suggested that she give me that job. I can attach the restraints to the bed and even put the cuffs on without her help. All she has to do is clip each cuff to its restraint. Unfortunately, consistently enforcing her rules and enhancing the punishment for repeated offenses is on her alone. I could remind her when I catch myself breaking a rule, but there is no guarantee I will consistently catch myself when it is too late. The spankings are supposed to teach me to catch myself before the offense, not afterward. I should also be penalized for trying to get away. The worse it gets for me when I try to squirm away, the more quickly I will learn to hold still and take my medicine.

It’s obvious that I do want to feel Mrs. Lion’s power. I like the fact that she can condition me to behave as she wishes. That idea is exciting, the spankings, of course, aren’t. I’m not sure why I want things to be worse. I really hate those punishment spankings. I am proposing that I suffer more. I know that, but it just seems the right way to go. Stupid lion.

 

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In: Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking
birthday cake
Last night was my homemade birthday dinner. Mrs. Lion ended it with a delicious rum cake from a great Italian bakery in the city.

It’s Friday and I am just home from work. The house smells glorious! Mrs. Lion’s oso buco is about a half hour from my tummy. Oh boy! I’m scheduled to have an orgasm tonight too. But as she wrote, we may be too stuffed after dinner and birthday cake to give me that orgasm. I’m fine if we wait. A lion can only take so much in one evening. Mrs. Lion gave me tickets for us to see a comedian we both enjoyed on TV this summer. The tickets are for a club. We’ll have to research about it. As you know, we aren’t exactly social lions so we will need to do some research to avoid any surprises. The tickets are for December. We have time to work things out.

Last night (Thursday, if you’re keeping track), Mrs. Lion gave me some “just because I can” swats. In her post, she said that they weren’t as hard as full-on punishment swats. They felt very painful to me. Less than an hour later I got some punishment swats for eating ice cream before her. I have to remember to be more observant. I know she thinks I want spankings. I suppose I do in an abstract sense. The idea of the spanking is still exciting, but the reality is something I dread.

I’m not very good at taking punishment. I squirm, scream into the pillow, and when it gets very intense I start to roll over. Mrs. Lion almost never restrains me for punishment and I am not doing very well at submitting. It seems to me that I should be able to hold still no matter how much it hurts, but I just can’t do it. Is this because punishment spankings are fairly new in my life? As I submit to more and more will I learn to hold still? I guess it’s possible. When I squirm, Mrs. Lion says she gives me extra swats. It might help me learn if she would say during the spanking that I would have been done had I not tried to get away before she gives me the extra swats. That way, it might make an impression on me that I could have avoided some of the pain had I been in better control. I have no experience with this, but I imagine that holding still when it hurts is a learned skill. If that’s true, the only way I will become proficient is to receive a lot more painful spankings. Judging by the two videos we have on this site, it looks like it is possible to hold still for much worse than I get. I can’t be that much of a wimp. Or can I?

The smell of dinner cooking is driving me mad. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will give you a full account of the evening’s festivity in her post tomorrow afternoon. I will also give my side of the story tomorrow morning. This is shaping up to be the best birthday weekend ever!

Dinner was great. We waited an hour and then dug into the birthday cake. The dog got her little piece too. At around 11pm the food had a chance to digest, at to my surprise I was wide awake and horny. We snuggled for a while with Mrs. Lions rubbing my balls. She  unlocked me after a while and did some non-edging teasing. I was ready to go. She moved between my legs and gave me a mind-blowing oral orgasm. I got my birthday fireworks after all. She locked me up as soon as I calmed down. I went to sleep a very contented lion. I’m up again at 6:30am. I didn’t wake up to finish this post, honest! I’m not that compulsive. But here I am in my home office finishing my birthday story. It’s still dark out and I can hear a gentle rain pattering on the trees. The birds must be asleep. The rain is the only outdoor sound. Our faithful dog decided it was too early for her and she is snoozing under the bed; Mrs. lion is snoozing on top of it. It’s nice to be wrapped in the soft blanket of rainy darkness. It feels like I am the only creature awake. When Mrs. Lion wakes up, I’m getting a birthday pancake breakfast. If I get lonely, maybe I will cook it and the smell will wake her up. Mean lion. No, I won’t do that. I could try snoozing instead. Happy Saturday!

By:
In: Edging, Punishment, Sex

That’s what I said to Lion last night, moments after I gave him an impromptu orgasm. He didn’t expect it. It wasn’t planned. I was about to tell him he still had eight more days to wait and then I decided to keep going. When he asked why I did it, I didn’t have an answer for him. I felt like it. Because I can. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. All of the above.

The thing is, he thinks I give him bonus orgasms because he needs them. Not true at all. Sometimes I need to taste him. Sometimes his cock is so hard and straining and, yes, beautiful, that I give him one. Sometimes I just do it for no reason. I knew he’d been very horny for a few days. There was nothing exceptional about last night. He didn’t seem super horny. He didn’t seem like a breeze would make him come anyway. He did nothing to sway me. There was no reason for me to give him an orgasm. There was no reason for me not to give him an orgasm.

We started off the night with a few punishment swats because he dropped ice cubes. Not a big infraction, but I think he really wanted some punishment. I’m not saying he dropped them on purpose. But I think he mentioned it to me because he wanted to be punished. I was standing right there and saw the whole thing. I could have told him he earned punishment. When I didn’t I think he told me so that I would enforce the rule. No skin off my nose. I’ll whack him if he wants to be whacked.

After his punishment I brought out the Velcro. He hates this stuff. I only wrapped one piece around his soft cock and once it was hard I took it off. The Velcro restricts the penis and then once it is released it sends a not-so-wonderful rush of blood. He told me last night that one piece is worse than when I wrap his whole cock. I’m not sure I understand why because it still all boils down to that first piece being tight and then letting go.

When I was done with the Velcro I tied his balls tightly. As I stroke him his balls bounce up and down. Having anything tied up turns him on. There he was, red balls peeking out from the rope, bouncing up and down as he gets closer and closer to the edge. Heaven for a Lion. I did untie him before I let him come. And I tickled his balls. That used to mean I’m about to let him come, but I do it when I’m just edging him too. This time, however, it was to send him over the edge. And over the edge he went.

I love to make my Lion come.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Male Chastity, Punishment

Sometimes I get confused with the distinctions between enforced chastity, domestic discipline, and FLM. All three refer to a power exchange. Enforced chastity points to sexual submission. In the strictest sense, it only covers control of male arousal and orgasm. No other control is implied. However, in many cases the power exchange goes further. It can extend to providing sexual pleasure for the keyholder. The male’s eventual release can depend on how well and how often he provides his partner with orgasms. In other cases release depends on obedience and behavior. I think we can agree that in enforced chastity, many couples make eventual release dependent on other things the male is expected to do to earn his orgasm. So I will suggest that even if there are behavioral rules beyond just withholding orgasm, enforced chastity still applies as long as the punishments and rewards are done using the delay or advance of the male’s orgasm.

Of course it’s rarely this simple. From the beginning when Mrs. Lion and I started enforced chastity, it included surrender of my sexual pleasure as well as rules that are enforced with spanking or other forms of punishment. I think in our case we were practicing a combination of enforced chastity and domestic discipline. Is this important? Not at first, but now that we have expanded our power exchange we may need to more carefully consider these definitions. We decided, well actually I requested, that we expand to a Female Led Marriage as a way of expanding my surrender. We took this to mean that Mrs. Lion would make many of the decisions I made alone or we made as a couple. I think this is a fair description of FLM. I don’t think there is any implied discipline in FLM, just control of the marriage.

That leaves domestic discipline. My take on it is that in addition to being in charge, the disciplining spouse (in my case Mrs. Lion) uses punishment to assert power. The nature of the punishments varies widely, but all are not “funishments”; they are real, unpleasant retribution for displeasing the disciplining spouse. This sounds like a variant of FLM. The fact is that the widest use of domestic discipline is in the context of a male-led marriage. Some religious groups consider old fashioned male run households with domestic discipline for erring wives a requirement. Domestic discipline originated as a way for these groups to refer to punishing wives to keep them in line. Of course, in our case, domestic discipline refers to keeping males in line. The religious groups don’t need a term for a male-led marriage; it’s the only kind they accept. Female led marriages are unusual enough to require us a way to distinguish them from the norm.

I think, as usual on the Internet, defining labels causes a lot of trouble. People tend to get very emotional over their definitions. I’m not trying to change anyone’s impression of what these things are. In our case, we agreed to FLM with domestic discipline If we go by the male-led use of the term, I think a Female Led Marriage is a required precondition for domestic discipline. The reason I went through all this is because it’s clear that our version of FLM is not typical. At least at present I still make financial decisions and Mrs. Lion relies on me to make a lot of day-to-day decisions as well. This is comfortable for us both. Should she make an effort to take this over? In a classic FLM, the wife would make the vast majority of the decisions. Well, we’re not classic. So what! However, then we have to define the boundaries of what we are doing.

At present, Mrs. Lion has some rules that I must obey. I have to wait for her to eat before I can. I am not supposed to interrupt her, and if there are others they don’t come to mind now. She is reluctant to punish me if I just annoy her. Occasionally she does, but only after thinking about it a long time and writing a post mentioning it. I understand that she is concerned about over reacting or letting her anger run away with her. I don’t think that is a real problem. I think it would be better for both of us if she overdoes the punishing for a while. I think she needs to get comfortable that she is entitled to get her own way and that if I upset her for any reason, it should be pointed out to me in a painful way. I think it is the only way we will both learn. I also think I should be asking for permission more. The only way I will learn that is for her to redden my butt when I act independently…at least for a while.

I realize that I don’t have any serious behavioral problems. I am a responsible adult with no addictions or dangerous bad habits. That’s not the point. I do things that bother my lioness. She is way too slow to let me know when I do one of them. I’ve thought about this for a while. I believe that by being much more strict and prescriptive Mrs. Lion will further increase our closeness. Every overlooked issue puts distance between us. I realize that I will not be happy when I get those painful punishments. I also understand that this is a behavioral change for Mrs. Lion that won’t be easy or comfortable at first. I just think that to get centered we need to over correct in the direction of strict discipline even for small things in order to find the center that will make us both happier.