By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal
waxed body
Here I am after the full Brazillian last week and the torso and leg waxing on Sunday. I have no hair from my feet to my nipples. Click to enlarge.

It’s noon on Sunday. I’m naked, of course. That’s my required state at home. Since Mrs. Lion and I live alone, her rule that I be naked at home has very few exceptions. Today, since we have no plans for going out, I won’t be wearing any clothes until I get ready to go to work on Monday.

No clothes isn’t the only meaning of nudity for me. Mrs. Lion will be waxing me this afternoon. A week ago, she gave me a Brazillian (remove all pubic hair as well as hair in and on the butt as well). She didn’t complete the Brazillian  because we didn’t have any “strip wax”. This is the soft wax that goes on with a spatula and ripped off using a strip of cloth. This is the substance used for larger, less sensitive areas of the body.

She’s going to remove leg and chest hair. I don’t know how much of my legs will lose their fur. I shaved my chest a while ago. She will use wax to refresh my  hairlessness. If she removes most or all of my leg hair, naked will have a new meaning. Losing that hair won’t cause me any public embarrassment. I won’t be wearing any shorts. Even if I do, I doubt anyone would notice.

I’ll notice. Hairless skin feels different to me. Clothes feel sensuous without fur between the cloth and my skin. Of course, I’m visually different too. It makes me feel more vulnerable and submissive. If Mrs. Lion extends my hairless areas, it will feel to me like an assertion of her power over me.

It’s not that different from a chastity device. Actually, it’s more intense. Once gone, nothing can change my state. A chastity device can be unlocked. Hair only returns after weeks of growing. I’m marked as submissive. That’s a very hot idea to me. Like a chastity device, the change is invisible under clothes, but absolutely discoverable when the clothes come off.

In my mind, at least, I will be naked all the time. That’s a hot idea!

Sunday 9pm —  Mrs. Lion took me to the dungeon this afternoon. She used a lot of wax. I have no hair from my feet to my nipples. She ran out of energy there. I imagine she’ll finish my chest this week. Will she do my pits too? You’ll find out when I do.

By:
In: BDSM, Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Lioness 3.0

It started as a little joke. Mrs. Lion started referring to herself as Lioness 1.0. She wrote that she was working toward being 2.0. I would know when 2.0 arrived when she stopped worrying about whether she put clothespins on particularly painful areas of my balls. She wouldn’t worry about spanking me too hard. She would be consistent and punish me every time I broke a rule.

She said she was joking. She didn’t expect to get to that point.

She did.

Those clothespins are more often meaner plastic models. They go just where she knows I squirm and yelp. When I complain she just smiles and tugs on the most painful ones. Punishments are painful and merciless.

2.0 lives here full time.

Recently, Mrs. Lion has made a few references to Lioness 3.0. She admits that she doesn’t know exactly how the next version will be different from the current one. It won’t be more intensity. 2.0  escalates routinely. The big change from 1.0 to 2.0 is her physical intensity as a top and disciplining wife. 3,0 can’t be more of the same.

I think I’ve gotten a peek at 3.0. The changes don’t relate to physical intensity at all. The next version is all about her and her feelings. Remember her post a few days ago? She said that giving me a play spanking made her feel closer to me, more intimate. That is a very profound statement.

Spanking me did something positive for her.

She discovered that topping me provides emotional satisfaction. 3.0 actively enjoys topping me. She does it because she likes how it makes her feel. No, we aren’t there yet, but it’s clear to me that is the next step.

There’s more. 3.0 punishes me for doing things that she doesn’t like. Spilling food on my shirt or eating before her doesn’t offend or anger her. She enforces those rules because she agreed to as part of our training  to live in a disciplinary relationship. 2.0 is an efficient disciplinarian. Every offense is punished painfully. There is no hint of BDSM in the price I pay for offending.

3.0 will punish me for things that are meaningful to her. For example, my newest rule is that I am not to act like I have the only right answer to things. It’s a bad habit. She will tell me about a plan for, let’s say, buying an ink jet printer. I will pronounce that the only kind she should get is a laser. She hates that. I’ve been put on notice that she will punish me each time I do that.

She has a rule on the books the forbids interrupting her. This rule has only been enforced a few times in the more-than two years it has been in force. The same way that 2.0 religiously punishes me for eating first, 3.0 will do the same for interrupting or acting like a know-it-all. She will broaden the list to anything I do that annoys her. Punishments will be for meaningful offenses. She won’t stop strict enforcement of the other rules as well.

The big improvement 3.0 makes is internal. Her role is as much about her than it is about me. BDSM provides 3.0 with intimacy and satisfaction. She enjoys how it feels to play with me. The point is less my need for bottoming and more the way topping makes her feel. 3.0 thinks about herself. Annoying her is an offense that gets at least as much attention as me spilling on my shirt. She will demand changes in me that make our relationship stronger. I suspect that the punishments for these offenses will be more severe.

3.0 is motivated by a sincere desire to make me change.

We’ve both learned that a disciplinary marriage can effect real change. The evidence is unmistakable. It’s much harder to move from spilled food to interrupting. Spilling is external and doesn’t hurt if I offend. Interrupting hurts Mrs. Lion and requires her to be self aware and willing to demand respect with at least the same force she gives ketchup on my t-shirt.

It will be easy to see when 3.0 moves in. She’s visiting now and then, but it won’t be long before there will be a new lioness in town.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal, Spanking

Thursday night Mrs. Lion teased me with her mouth. She’s gotten expert at knowing when I am close to coming. She’s very confident that she can keep me on the edge using her mouth. In the past, she often went too far and I got an unplanned orgasm.  Soon after the teasing, I was back in my chastity device again.

We seem to be back in  our old routine. There’s some comfort in that for me. I’m still not all that happy about being caged. But when I’m wild, I’m not too happy about that either. That suggests my feelings aren’t really related to the device. Sure, wearing it is inconvenient and sometimes a little uncomfortable. But I’ve been dealing with that for years.

We’ve basically stopped playing. We were very active, doing something at least a couple of times a week. When the maintenance spankings stopped, we stopped any sort of BDSM. I’m not unhappy that those spankings aren’t coming at least twice a week. They are genuinely hard to handle. I accept that they are a valid form of training for both of us. Since she started doing them, her intensity has gone up and my ability to accept the spanking has improved. Perhaps when I don’t need punishing in a week, a maintenance spanking can allow our training to continue.

One of the key components of BDSM play for me is that I’m aroused when it takes place. When she used to give me a play spanking, she made sure I was hard and excited before she started. Many times I stayed erect through almost the entire spanking. I had fun. The same was always true for other play as well. I’m not claiming that’s a requirement for BDSM play. But for the play to make sense at least one of us has to be enjoying it.

For example, if Mrs. Lion enjoys seeing how many painful clothespins she can put on my balls, then it doesn’t matter if I’m aroused or not. She’s having fun. If she enjoys it and I’m aroused too, then we are both having fun. My point is that if neither of us is having a good time, why do it?

It bothers me when Mrs. Lion does things to me out of a sense of duty. It makes me feel guilty and an little sad. I know that the bottom always has the most fun. Even with a sexual sadist topping, safe play is often more work than recreation. I’m sure pro doms enjoy their work, but it is work nonetheless. The same is true for Mrs. Lion. I’m sure she would rather play on her iPad than torture me. I hope she will still have fun playing with me. I’m greatful for her efforts on my behalf.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, BDSM

Sometimes very small changes make a big difference. My shortened Jail Bird is only 1/4-inch shorter than it’s previous 1-1/4 inch length. This is a 20% reduction in length. I wanted the change to maintain better contact between my penis and the top of the cage. My theory, which turns out to be correct, is that the shorter cage would keep my urethra centered at all times. In any case, I like the modification.

I admit that I’ve had some second thoughts about wearing a chastity device. Sometimes I just get tired of being locked up. I felt that way on Monday night after Mrs. Lion locked me into the modified Jail Bird. It felt pointless.

In the cold light of day, I realize that wearing a chastity device is far from unnecessary. It is the connector that assures Mrs. Lion and I have intimate contact. It’s true that with or without a device we will kiss, snuggle, and she will get me off. But our sexual focus gets blurry when I am wild.

Mrs. Lion admitted that she sometimes gets “lazy” when it comes to BDSM. It’s why, she wrote in a post that she doesn’t do anal play. She doesn’t feel up to the extra activity. The same is true of bondage and using our dungeon. CBT (clothespins, ball tying, etc.) and locking me in chastity are within her energy comfort zone, she said.

Monday night she was willing to give me a play spanking. She asked if I wanted one and I said I didn’t. I was tired and itchy. This inactivity isn’t just her problem. We both need structure to help us build habits. The chastity device has been a big success.

Mrs. Lion does enforce my no spilling and no eating first rules. But beyond that, FLRD has stalled. I’ve stopped suggesting play sessions. I do remind Mrs. Lion about manscaping, but I feel guilty when I ask her to play. This is a communication gap that’s on me as much as her. We need to either decide to stop play or find a way to make it part of our lives.

We’re both trending toward inactivity. From the time each of us comes home, we engage in solitary activities. I watch TV and Mrs. Lion plays games on her iPad. Conversation is pretty limited. I’m not sure we need to make radical changes. But the trend worries me a bit.

My surgery seems to have triggered our return to a less active lifestyle. We had to stop playing or doing much else together. Mrs. Lion used a lot of energy taking care of me. When she had nothing to do, she played her iPad games. I wasn’t great company being under the effects of pain meds.

My recovery was slow, but it is complete and it’s been months since I took any pain medication. But the damage was done. Our habits changed. It’s not that we haven’t tried to spice things up. Mrs. Lion was performing maintenance spankings more than once a week. That didn’t last long because it was just too much for me. We’ve gone from two or more a week to none now. We are both way too easy to discourage.

This isn’t Mrs. Lion’s fault. It’s way too easy to blame the dominant partner for the inertia. We’re both responsible. I stopped asking her to do things to me because I feel pushy and controlling when I do. I’m convinced that our FLRD and enforced chastity are work for Mrs. Lion. Her post the other day made it clear that at least for now, she doesn’t want to do more than lock me up and tease me.

That’s quite a lot. Most guys don’t get that. It may be that my expectations are too grand. I want much more than Mrs. Lion feels good about doing. Until that post, I didn’t realize it. I have a great marriage and a partner who is willing to lock me in a chastity device and make me wait for orgasms. I’m truly grateful for that. Thank you, sweetie.