By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

crystal ball

For some time now I’ve been wild (no chastity device). Even so, my rules continue to be enforced. I don’t masturbate. Recently, I’ve been considering why I would or wouldn’t be locked into a chastity device now that nearly five years of conditioning has trained me to behave as though I am wearing one, even when I’m not.

There’s no simple way to understand the influence the device has had on both of us. Just as I’ve been trained to avoid getting myself off, Mrs. Lion has learned to be consistent in her role as my keyholder and disciplining wife. Between enforced male chastity and our blog, we have changed our physical relationship drastically.

Mrs. Lion has always been spontaneous about when I get to ejaculate. She often decides if I will come or not after she has started teasing me. She’s said that she prefers this to a schedule. I’m fine with that. I do tend to get more orgasms this way. As far as I can tell, this hasn’t damaged any other part of our relationship.

Since my shoulder surgery Mrs. Lion has narrowed her BDSM focus. Panties, diapers, dildos, and visits to our dungeon have virtually disappeared. I think the reason is that Mrs. Lion lets me decide if I want “play” or not. That’s a very clear acknowledgement that BDSM is just for me. She likes to make me happy, but putting me into panties or diapers doesn’t affect her. So, if I don’t want to do it, she’s happy to go along. The same is true of play spankings and anal training.She knows I find things up my ass uncomfortable. So why use the time and energy if I’m not having fun?

This isn’t intended as a criticism. It’s an observation. Should Mrs. Lion do things she knows I don’t like, when she doesn’t have any fun doing them? This applies to the chastity device, play spanking, anal activities, and bondage. I haven’t written about any of these things in a long time. Mrs. Lion has no hints from me that I want to be “forced” to accept these things. I think that’s because I know full well that if I write, for example, about pegging, Mrs. Lion may well take that a veiled request for her to do it to me.

We both know that our blog posts provide input and feedback to one another. I’ve intentionally stayed away from wistful comments about BDSM activities. I’m ambivalent about having the ability to “remind” Mrs. Lion of something I want.

For one thing, I may not really want it when the time comes from it to happen. For another, I’m resistant to the idea that I can plan any of these activities. I also don’t like that I can stop one that is bothering me. Most notorious are the dreaded diapers. I really hate wearing them after a while. Mrs. Lion has always been kind enough to let me out of them when I ask. Should she do that?

In one sense I think she should. I am relieved and feel so much better when I can escape a hot, wet diaper. But in another, I am reminded that I only have to wear one when I want to. While at the time, I am happy, ultimately I am disappointed that I have so much control. This isn’t a matter of Mrs. Lion surrendering power to me. It’s more that I know that the only one getting anything out of the experience is me. My wish to submit is being indulged because Mrs. Lion wants me to be happy.

Ultimately, this is true. I know that. But I’ve never been a fan of dominance as a service. I prefer losing control and being forced to go past the point I am having sexual fun by submitting. I know that Mrs. Lion isn’t even amused by my plight when she diapers me or puts me in panties. I doubt any woman really finds that fun. We men like to think that our partners are turned on by our humiliation and discomfort. I know a lot of dominant women. Not one has ever agreed it is sexual fun to see her man in panties. However, that isn’t to say it isn’t fun to see him in an uncomfortable predicament.

I think the dominant side of BDSM is more of an intellectual exercise than an emotional one. From my own experience, I know that I got pleasure out of pushing the envelope with my partner. The best examples are anal play and play spanking. It was fun for me to watch “progress” as she could manage larger and larger dildos, for example.

It was also fun to be successful in “training”. An example of my training its the drastic reduction of the number of times I spill food on my shirt. I’ve been trained to be vary careful about that. I’ve also been trained to always wait for Mrs. Lion to eat first or give me permission to eat. I don’t know if she enjoys her success, but it is tangible evidence of her skill in domination. It surprises me that I am trained. But I have to admit that I am. I don’t even think about it. I just do what she has trained me to do.

I wonder if she thinks about this. Is it enough fun to want me to learn other things? I also wonder if the chastity device wasn’t a reminder to “make” me do other things that she knows I find arousing, but hate when they happen to me. I’m not asking for more of this stuff as much as asking how she thinks and feels about these activities, particularly training.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, BDSM, Chastity games

Enforced chastity doesn’t have to be a long-term kink. The famous CB2000, the forerunner of the popular CB6000 chastity device, was invented for weekend chastity play. At the time of its invention (the mid-1990’s) the chastity device market was mostly belts or uncomfortable tubes. Any quality device was custom made; expensive and with long lead time before delivery. The inventor of the CB device, decided to make his own. He also figured out a way to make it “adjustable”. Essentially, it was one size fits all.

Now, there are other chastity “kits” that contain multiple base rings and spacers. More common are off-the-shelf devices that allow you to specify base ring size and then mate it with a cage that is offered in several lengths and widths. This is perfectly adequate for short term wear. A very large range of chastity devices is available at dhgate.com. Many of these are cheap enough to be used once or twice and discarded. They offer an opportunity to try enforced male chastity before committing more than a few bucks.

Almost everything you find on the Internet talks, including this blog, talks about long term enforced male chastity. I’ve been practicing for almost five years. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t great opportunities to play with this kink.

The entire point of it is male sexual surrender. By wearing a chastity device and giving someone the only key to the lock, you effectively hand that person your ability to use your penis for anything but peeing. You can’t get hard. You can’t ejaculate. Sex is completely under the control of the keyholder. I find that a very exciting idea.

Many guys would like to experience this but aren’t prepared to make their surrender permanent. That’s fine. Enforced male chastity is a fun form of sexual bondage. Lock up your cock and then “earn” the ability to get off. Lots of possibilities must come to mind. A couple could spend a very fun weekend with the caged male earning his ability to get hard and come.

You don’t have to be caged for years. You don’t have to become a sexual slave. You can just get an inexpensive chastity device and add it to your toybag. She can lock it on when you get home from work on Friday and tease  you until Sunday nght, when, if you’re a good boy, she unlocks you and lets you come.

It never has to go any further than that. Just because some of us are under permanent control, doesn’t mean you can’t use the same stuff to spice up your sex life. Have fun!

By:
In: Lion's Journal, BDSM, Spanking

We’re starting our trip today. The last two days were a raucous visit by our friends and their young kids. It was big fun.  We had to work last night to get everything ready to travel.

Mrs. Lion has promised lots of play (and discipline). There are some challenges within the trailer. The bedroom doesn’t have a lot of room around the bed. We may need to try new locations; perhaps the living room.

The problem is that in locations where there is good swinging room, it is difficult to position me where I remain firmly in place. We have a couch, but the dog likes to snooze there when we aren’t home. Her dander makes me itch. We may need to find a good way to cover it. We’ve failed so far to keep the dog off.

Of course, CBT can easily be performed on the bed. Aren’t I lucky?  Of course I am!  We don’t have a good track record with either play or discipline when on vacation. I’m hoping it will change this time.

We tend to be really tired when we get home at night. Over the years, we almost never play or punish at times other than bedtime. I think we might try playing  during the day. Sexual activity doesn’t have to wait until it is time to sleep.

Both of us are creatures of habit. Changing habits are tough for us. We do come home to walk the dog either mid afternoon or just after dinner. Since my rule is to be naked when at home (or camper), play and/or discipline would be easy. Mrs. Lion can let.me know that’s her plan for the day. Then I can take a boner pill an hour or so before we go back to the camper.

Of course, I haven’t discussed this with Mrs. Lion. She may have a very different idea. Thursday is maintenance spanking day. I know I will be beaten in some part of the camper then. I suspect that Mrs. Lion has more in store for me than that.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal
large dildo
Rodeoh Adam Confused Rainbow dildo. This is a massive 1-7/8″ diameter, 8-inch long dildo. Click image to visit site.

As I predicted and Mrs. Lion proved (post), a painful spanking revives my libido and increases my semen production. When I’m horny, I tend to be curious. I wonder how various things might feel. For example, I received a newsletter from Rodeoh, a company that makes and sells panties designed to hold a strap-on dildo firmly in place. Mrs. Lion has one for pegging me. This particular newsletter featured some brightly-colored dildos. We already have one rainbow model that is 1-3/4 inches in diameter and about seven inches long. We haven’t tried it yet.

This newsletter pointed me to a page that, among others, features a 1-7/8 inch dia. model they call the Adam. Aside from looking cool, it made me wonder how long it would take for me to learn to accept it. Last time we did anal play, I managed to take a 1-3/4 inch dildo (not the new one). I’ve yet to learn to be able to take a true pegging. So, it makes very little sense for me to imagine taking an even larger model. But because I’m horny, I do, It’s expensive and I didn’t consider ordering it, but…

We haven’t done anal play in a long time. I don’t particularly like things up my ass. Of course, that’s not the point. I’m not unhappy that we have been neglecting my asshole. Then, why did I find the Adam so interesting?

That’s something I don’t understand. I’m not being coy and suggesting we get this and stick it up my ass. The idea of doing it is very hot to me. Maybe it’s like spanking or putting clothespins on the head of my penis; the idea is exciting, the reality is painful and unpleasant.

If I were a masochist, I would crave pain and get aroused when it is provided. I don’t. But I need this pain nonetheless. My theory is that it’s about control. I am clearly not in control when a large, silicone penis is fucking me. The same is true when my bottom is burning and the paddle keeps hitting me.

We’ve just proven once again that my sex drive fades unless painful reminders I’m not in control are administered. I’ve always known that it’s arousing to think of being spanked or pegged, but miserable when it happens. This is probably part of the appeal of wearing a chastity device. It locks my penis away from me. It’s a very hot idea. Actually wearing the device can be inconvenient and frustrating. When I wear it I am constantly reminded that I’ve surrendered all control of my penis. That’s a hot idea, but still frustrating and inconvenient.

I think I’ve always been this way. I’m wired to need to lose control in order to get aroused. It’s part of who I am. I’m lucky that Mrs. Lion understands all this and is willing to put up with me.