By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal, Lioness 3.0, Spanking

Thursday night Mrs. Lion spanked me for my thoughtless behavior on Wednesday. She mentioned it in her post the next day. It was an important punishment. Hopefully, that spanking is the beginning of Mrs. Lion becoming more aware of things I do that bother her. Most couples that implement domestic discipline with the wife as the disciplining spouse begin because there is a behavioral problem with the husband. The most common reason is excessive drinking. The husband will be punished each time he drinks more than his wife permits him.

The key is that both partners believe something needs to be corrected. In our context, domestic discipline is a consensual activity. Mrs. Lion’s decisions about why I am punished can’t be vetoed. I think that surrendering the right to argue is what frightens many men about entering the sort of relationship. Mrs. Lion’s word is absolute, and I have to accept her punishments.

Our reason for getting into this has more to do with Mrs. Lion than me. She has a lifetime habit of stuffing her feelings. In the past, I’ve done things that upset her. I’ve been thoughtless with something I’ve said to her. She never commented when I did. I only discovered her upset when she withdrew from me. When that happened, I’d have to pry what was going on out of her. I felt that ultimately these bad feelings would add up and could endanger our marriage. I talked about this with Mrs. Lion; you can read about that in past posts. She agreed that the problem is real and that my proposed solution made sense.

Since neither of us had any experience with disciplinary spanking, it made sense to try to establish our roles in less threatening situations. After all, Mrs. Lion isn’t just going to suddenly tell me what’s bothering her and then punish me for my offense. That’s why we have our misdemeanors. They provided her with experience catching me doing something wrong, and me accepting punishment. It’s taken a long time to build up to a level of discipline that makes a strong impression on me. Mrs. Lion is now very successful at spanking me.

What we refer to as lioness 3.0, is Mrs. Lion being aware of things I say or do that upset her. Then, she must tell me about it and follow-up with punishment. Identifying offenses has been incredibly difficult for her. The fact that she processed and then discussed the fact that I upset her on Wednesday was a big step. I suggested that it was a spankable offense. She agreed, and Thursday night, I was spanked for it. That’s a terrific step for us both. Yesterday, in an email, I said that my bottom still hurt. She replied that she hoped it would remind me to think about what I did. Perfect!

heart paddle
It may hurt but Mrs. Lion punishes out of love. Contrary to the saying, it definitely hurts me more than it hurts her.

I’m not happy that I got punished, but I am pleased that Mrs. Lion processed my behavior and took action to try to teach me to be more aware of her. One of our readers suggested that she respond to my offense by keeping me caged longer, or worse yet, take my cage off. That sort of punishment isn’t useful for us. Longer-term retribution loses its impact because the offense fades from memory. A timely punishment like spanking allows me to associate my thoughtlessness with a very painful spanking. It conditions me to avoid the behavior that got me punished. The longer-term disciplines wouldn’t have that effect if I repeated the act. Mrs. Lion would have nothing else she could do. In this case, if I repeat that behavior, I can expect a longer (10 or 15 minutes versus five minute) spanking.

Behavior that is deeply embedded in our psyches isn’t going to change after a single disciplinary event. Mrs. Lion isn’t going to suddenly be able to detect and react to everything I do that upsets her. It’s going to take her time and effort to do that. Similarly, I’m probably going to be thoughtless again. It’s doubtful a single punishment will condition me away from that behavior. If it does, so much the better. If it doesn’t, Mrs. Lion will deal with it in a way that will help me learn not to do it again.

Unlike our misdemeanors, which are mainly BDSM, these more severe offenses need serious punishment to be corrected. Only a consistent response will do that. We’ve both learned that I learn by being punished for an offense. We discovered that when I was punished for spilling food on my shirt, I went from doing it frequently to rarely getting food there. In the scope of my life, that’s not a big deal. But it is a big deal in terms of the fact that we’ve proven that I can make changes as the result of disciplinary action. Now, we have to apply that same level of consistency to these more serious behavioral issues.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion and I want to make each other happy. I don’t need rules to do things that make her life more comfortable. I want to do that. And I do. We both came to like our BDSM misdemeanor “game.” So Mrs. Lion looks for other reasons to catch me and then punish me. Those punishments we call funishments: unpleasant but not severe things like mouth soaping and corner time. We both find it fun and exciting. That’s the reason I got punished, or should I say funished for forgetting to set up the coffee pot. It wasn’t that I needed severe discipline to get me to do my chores; it was just another way to play the game.

Spanking is reserved for serious offenses or dealing with repeated minor offenses. Mrs. Lion spanked me because I forgot for the fourth or fifth time to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is punishment day. I can expect another spanking if I forget again. It was the only time something in the realm of our funishments leaks into the more severe and painful spanking arena.

Both of us have been writing about the fact that I bleed when spanked. I had several theories about this. The one that I believe is correct is that my skin was dry, and when it began to swell during spanking, it cracked and bled. The solution, I thought, would be to moisturize that skin so that it is more flexible; soften it up for the blow. When Mrs. Lion spanked me on Thursday night, there was only a tiny bit of bleeding. She had put me in cotton panties so that it was the same set of conditions we had for the last two spankings. In those spankings, there was considerable bleeding. She is sure that she was just as harsh Thursday night, and there was almost no blood.

I will continue moisturizing my lower cheeks. I believe Mrs. Lion is going to go back to spanking my bare buns. Swatting bare skin is more painful, and she can see the visible results of her work. Mrs. Lion strives to achieve an even, dark-red color on the bottom half of my bottom. She tries to get the same color inside my crack as well. That was impossible, with me covered by the panties.

Before this most recent theory, we were both convinced I needed to toughen my hide. Mrs. Lion proposed to do this through spankings for punishment, and in weeks when I didn’t earn one, maintenance spankings as well. Perhaps she still has to work on my hide, but it’s clear that I have to continue moisturizing to keep it soft and pliable. As far as I could tell on Thursday night, having a moisturized rear end doesn’t change how sensitive it is.

It may seem odd that our domestic discipline is a cooperative affair with both of us supplying input. A disciplinary relationship is something we both want and have incorporated into our marriage. I owe it to Mrs. Lion to help her observe my offenses and correct me when I commit them. We are both on the same side. It will indeed hurt a lot after I tell her of something I did wrong and remind her to punish me. However, our goal is the same. We both want her to be more aware of things that bother her and to realize she has the power and the obligation to punish me when I commit them. We both profit when she does. A sore butt is a small price to pay.

By:
In: Anal play, BDSM, Hand Jobs

Mrs. Lion has been writing about reviving some of our past activities. I’m writing this post at noon on Saturday. When we got up this morning, she mentioned that she’s going to go look for the bag that contains my panties. As far as I’m concerned, they can stay lost. Wearing panties is not only humiliating but also pretty uncomfortable.

She’s also discussing reinstating my anal training. In her post yesterday, she mentioned that she may not want to fist me, but she definitely wants me to learn to take larger objects and have her peg me. Then she went on to say that having fingers up my ass is a very intimate activity not unlike me having my penis inside of her. I suppose it is. It’s absolutely intimate. I think it’s a lot less comfortable for me then when she has my penis inside her. Oh well. I agree anal activities forces both of us to be very close to one another and share a most intimate-if-uncomfortable activity.

It’s a little ironic when she wants me to wear women’s underwear. Normally, I’m completely naked at home. In fact, I haven’t had a stitch of clothing on since last Wednesday when I went for physical therapy. But I get it. Even though panties or, for that matter, a diaper, covers me up, they do so in a way I certainly didn’t select for myself.

This is the Digit vibrator by Hot Octopuss. It is intended as a woman’s toy, but Mrs. Lion thinks she can wear it on a finger and put that finger on my penis where it gets me most excited while she jerks me off.

Sometimes people are confused by why we do these things. One reason is that I find it a turn-on when Mrs. Lion flexes her muscles this way. Another is that the bottom in me enjoys the humiliation and discomfort. This isn’t totally true of anal training. I get a real sense of accomplishment when Mrs. Lion is able to use something larger without me having a lot of pain. It feels like I am giving her something. I also like that it doesn’t matter to her whether or not I like it or not. It’s something she wants to do, and therefore, she will do it. I really encourage her to behave this way. I love it in her and I think it’s good for both of us.

If she can find the bag of women’s underwear, I imagine I will be wearing them for a good part of the weekend. I will certainly be carrying a heavy Njoy butt plug up my ass for several hours later today. If she has the time and energy, Mrs. Lion will also be removing more of my body hair. Right now, I am luxuriating by sitting naked in my desk chair sharing my thoughts with you.

Mrs. Lion is also considering a hybrid approach to edging me. She got the idea that if she had a vibrator that attaches to her finger, she can use the force of the vibrator and the attention of her hand in a modified hand job. It sounds very interesting. I showed her a product that might work. It’s called the Digit. It’s a vibrator that fits over the finger. The people who make it intended as a woman’s toy. The idea is that she can use her finger on her clit while the vibe is providing stimulation through her finger. Mrs. Lion’s idea is that the same can be true of me if she applies that finger to the right spot on my penis. It sounds exciting.

I’m very happy that Mrs. Lion is thinking about things we can do together. I know this is difficult for her because sex is strictly one-way with us. I believe that she is coming to see that while I get sexual pleasure, she gets a sense of increased intimacy. She also gets more of a sense of control. I suspect the control is less interesting to her than the intimacy. I’m very glad that she can find pleasure in things she does to me.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

We refer to cowgirl and reverse cowgirl positions as “lion riding”. It’s certainly a fair description of what Mrs. Lion does. There is another practical use for male genitalia that doesn’t involve sex. It’s something that guys are very unlikely to mention.

Here’s a hint: When you ride a horse, there is a very functional piece of equipment on the saddle; the saddle horn. We males are equipped with a similar piece of equipment. Very often one of the objections Mrs. Lion makes to bondage is the need for equipment to which I can be attached. I come equipped with a very convenient anchoring point: my balls.

Using nothing more than lightweight rope, my wrists can be bound together and then attached to my balls. Since, like most men, I am very sensitive about damaging them, I am unlikely to try too hard to pull away. My balls are available whether or not I’m in a chastity device. How convenient!

Another use is to secure my legs wide open and up and out of the way. To do this, simply tie each ankle to one ball. You are assured that I will work very hard to keep my legs as far up and apart as I can regardless of what you may be doing.

There is also a strong psychological value in anchoring this way. No matter what is going on, I’m going to be very careful not to pull too hard. That brings me to an important safety announcement. Do not use ball anchorage for beatings. During a spanking or other impact play, instincts take over and your male may not remember to avoid damaging himself. For other activities, including anal play, the balls are every bit as convenient as the saddle horn is for a cowboy.

lion's balls tied apart
Mrs. Lion is no stranger to tying and separating my balls as you can see here. She hasn’t tied them to anything in years.

Way back in the time that I first began BDSM, my partner would secure me to a doorknob or other convenient household anchor, like a radiator, by tying my balls to it. I was assured to remain in place especially if my hands were secured behind my back. When Mrs. Lion and I first began playing, I read about a guy having the big toe of each foot tied to one of his balls. I mentioned it to Mrs. Lion and she tried it with me.

Nothing really came of it. I think she untied me almost as soon as she got the second rope around my big toe. She mentioned this to me after proofreading my post earlier. I asked her why she never did that again. She replied that at the time she had no idea what she was doing. I then asked the obvious question: Will she tried again now? She said she would. I remarked that now she understands how she could make use of it. She agreed.

All this seems obvious once I point it out. The fact is that women and girls are conditioned from the first time they become aware of male genitalia to be very careful with balls. We males do everything we can to encourage this care.

The reality is that balls are quite rugged and can safely handle some rough treatment. You don’t want to pull them off, but you can stretch them without doing any permanent damage.

Isn’t it nice to know that we are equipped with such a convenient way to keep us in place?

We tried the prickly jockstrap on Saturday night. The cup, which is lined with sharp little points, is fairly stiff leather formed into the, well, cup shape. That means that my cock and balls aren’t being pressed into the points that all times. However, when I move or get a little excited the points make themselves known. I’m pretty sure that once Mrs. Lion works out how to tighten the straps, the sensation will be even more apparent.

If I am made to wear it a while, including sitting down and otherwise changing position, the points will have a very good opportunity to make me uncomfortable. Standing still is actually no problem. I’m not sure that wearing this device rises to the level of punishment. I do think it’s a nice idea for play and since the straps don’t get near my crack, it can accompany anal activities.

The other day we both wrote about our new bidet seat. We’ve had opportunities to use it. The jury is still out for Mrs. Lion, but I am 100% happy with it. This particular model has a remote control that allows me to adjust the position of the sprayer, the temperature of the water, and the pressure. It didn’t take long for me to find the right combination. It washes for about two minutes and then stops. It has an “auto” process that washes moving sprayer back-and-forth to extend the cleaning area, and then blow dries the water away. I’ve never had my ass blow-dried before.

When done, I did feel very clean and fresh. The seat also has a second nozzle to clean the front; females only, obviously. Mrs. Lion is not sure about this. I think she has to tinker with the adjustments. The seat also features a heater. If it’s cold in the house or you have a chilly butt, this heater is just the thing. I tried it and I have to say I don’t like it.

In case you wondered, the device also has a way of sterilizing the nozzles and has a carbon filter to get rid of nasty odors. It does one other interesting thing: As soon as you sit down, it mists the sides of the bowl. According to the manufacturer’s literature, this misting makes it more difficult for solid material to stick. I have no idea if that’s right or not, but it’s nice to know someone’s been thinking about it.

Up until now, the only one who has given any serious attention to my anus has been Mrs. Lion, and her attention has nothing to do with hygiene.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, BDSM

confinrment jockstrap with points
This is the leather confinement jockstrap I just got. I’m going to be sorry I bought it.

Trust me to get myself into trouble. Last week I received an email advertising products by Strict Leather. Two of them caught my eye. One is a leather jockstrap lined with prickly points. A picture of it is to the right. This is bound to be very uncomfortable to wear. I knew that when I ordered it and I decided it might be “fun”.

I checked with Mrs. Lion and she was agreeable to me purchasing it. So I placed the order. It arrived on Friday afternoon. Mrs. Lion looked at it when she got home from work and shook her head. I didn’t ask to put it on immediately, but we did discuss it a bit. This jock locks on with three or four little padlocks (not provided). I do want her to try it on me and I’m sure she will. She thought it might make a good substitute for a spanking when I’m naughty.

Yup, it might. I’m not sure how long she will make me wear it. I’m absolutely certain it will be a lot longer than I would like. I suppose I should get locks for it in case she wants me to wear it while she is not around.

Those little points are sharp! They aren’t long enough to do any serious damage but they are sufficient to make me very sorry I ever bought it. Every so often, I decide it might be fun to have something that will end up hurting. I admit that I’ve had a long fascination with these painful cock and ball toys. I’ve never actually worn one, but I’m sure that will change; probably before you read this post.

cock and ball harness
My new cock and ball harness. That’s not me in the picture.

I also bought another toy. It’s a pretty standard cock and ball harness. Mrs. Lion tried that on me Friday night. It does a good job of tightening my balls and separating them. You can see a picture of the device on the left.

Something else arrived yesterday as well. Mrs. Lion ordered a bidet toilet seat. It’s a sort of birthday present for me. She knows I like to be very clean in back. This device will squirt warm water where the sun don’t shine and leave me squeaky clean. It also blasts warm air to dry the area off. Such luxury!

Of course, Mrs. Lion will use it too. I think it is a nice addition to our home. I’m never sure how Mrs. Lion feels about my BDSM purchases. She’s never really bought more than a paddle on her own. It might be “fun” if she did a little shopping herself. Who knows?

We are still far from unpacked. My patch of hair keeps growing above my penis as well as hair in all the other usual spots. I’ve seen endless warnings about shaving areas that are usually waxed. At this point maybe I should shave anyway or go to a waxing parlor and get a Brazilian. I’m not too happy with how I look down there now. Mrs. Lion can argue that I’m not the one who has to do the looking. That’s true, but still I don’t like it. We’ll figure it out.