A Sore Butt Is A Small Price To Pay

Thursday night Mrs. Lion spanked me for my thoughtless behavior on Wednesday. She mentioned it in her post the next day. It was an important punishment. Hopefully, that spanking is the beginning of Mrs. Lion becoming more aware of things I do that bother her. Most couples that implement domestic discipline with the wife as the disciplining spouse begin because there is a behavioral problem with the husband. The most common reason is excessive drinking. The husband will be punished each time he drinks more than his wife permits him.

The key is that both partners believe something needs to be corrected. In our context, domestic discipline is a consensual activity. Mrs. Lion’s decisions about why I am punished can’t be vetoed. I think that surrendering the right to argue is what frightens many men about entering the sort of relationship. Mrs. Lion’s word is absolute, and I have to accept her punishments.

Our reason for getting into this has more to do with Mrs. Lion than me. She has a lifetime habit of stuffing her feelings. In the past, I’ve done things that upset her. I’ve been thoughtless with something I’ve said to her. She never commented when I did. I only discovered her upset when she withdrew from me. When that happened, I’d have to pry what was going on out of her. I felt that ultimately these bad feelings would add up and could endanger our marriage. I talked about this with Mrs. Lion; you can read about that in past posts. She agreed that the problem is real and that my proposed solution made sense.

Since neither of us had any experience with disciplinary spanking, it made sense to try to establish our roles in less threatening situations. After all, Mrs. Lion isn’t just going to suddenly tell me what’s bothering her and then punish me for my offense. That’s why we have our misdemeanors. They provided her with experience catching me doing something wrong, and me accepting punishment. It’s taken a long time to build up to a level of discipline that makes a strong impression on me. Mrs. Lion is now very successful at spanking me.

What we refer to as lioness 3.0, is Mrs. Lion being aware of things I say or do that upset her. Then, she must tell me about it and follow-up with punishment. Identifying offenses has been incredibly difficult for her. The fact that she processed and then discussed the fact that I upset her on Wednesday was a big step. I suggested that it was a spankable offense. She agreed, and Thursday night, I was spanked for it. That’s a terrific step for us both. Yesterday, in an email, I said that my bottom still hurt. She replied that she hoped it would remind me to think about what I did. Perfect!

heart paddle
It may hurt but Mrs. Lion punishes out of love. Contrary to the saying, it definitely hurts me more than it hurts her.

I’m not happy that I got punished, but I am pleased that Mrs. Lion processed my behavior and took action to try to teach me to be more aware of her. One of our readers suggested that she respond to my offense by keeping me caged longer, or worse yet, take my cage off. That sort of punishment isn’t useful for us. Longer-term retribution loses its impact because the offense fades from memory. A timely punishment like spanking allows me to associate my thoughtlessness with a very painful spanking. It conditions me to avoid the behavior that got me punished. The longer-term disciplines wouldn’t have that effect if I repeated the act. Mrs. Lion would have nothing else she could do. In this case, if I repeat that behavior, I can expect a longer (10 or 15 minutes versus five minute) spanking.

Behavior that is deeply embedded in our psyches isn’t going to change after a single disciplinary event. Mrs. Lion isn’t going to suddenly be able to detect and react to everything I do that upsets her. It’s going to take her time and effort to do that. Similarly, I’m probably going to be thoughtless again. It’s doubtful a single punishment will condition me away from that behavior. If it does, so much the better. If it doesn’t, Mrs. Lion will deal with it in a way that will help me learn not to do it again.

Unlike our misdemeanors, which are mainly BDSM, these more severe offenses need serious punishment to be corrected. Only a consistent response will do that. We’ve both learned that I learn by being punished for an offense. We discovered that when I was punished for spilling food on my shirt, I went from doing it frequently to rarely getting food there. In the scope of my life, that’s not a big deal. But it is a big deal in terms of the fact that we’ve proven that I can make changes as the result of disciplinary action. Now, we have to apply that same level of consistency to these more serious behavioral issues.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion and I want to make each other happy. I don’t need rules to do things that make her life more comfortable. I want to do that. And I do. We both came to like our BDSM misdemeanor “game.” So Mrs. Lion looks for other reasons to catch me and then punish me. Those punishments we call funishments: unpleasant but not severe things like mouth soaping and corner time. We both find it fun and exciting. That’s the reason I got punished, or should I say funished for forgetting to set up the coffee pot. It wasn’t that I needed severe discipline to get me to do my chores; it was just another way to play the game.

Spanking is reserved for serious offenses or dealing with repeated minor offenses. Mrs. Lion spanked me because I forgot for the fourth or fifth time to remind Mrs. Lion that Saturday is punishment day. I can expect another spanking if I forget again. It was the only time something in the realm of our funishments leaks into the more severe and painful spanking arena.

Both of us have been writing about the fact that I bleed when spanked. I had several theories about this. The one that I believe is correct is that my skin was dry, and when it began to swell during spanking, it cracked and bled. The solution, I thought, would be to moisturize that skin so that it is more flexible; soften it up for the blow. When Mrs. Lion spanked me on Thursday night, there was only a tiny bit of bleeding. She had put me in cotton panties so that it was the same set of conditions we had for the last two spankings. In those spankings, there was considerable bleeding. She is sure that she was just as harsh Thursday night, and there was almost no blood.

I will continue moisturizing my lower cheeks. I believe Mrs. Lion is going to go back to spanking my bare buns. Swatting bare skin is more painful, and she can see the visible results of her work. Mrs. Lion strives to achieve an even, dark-red color on the bottom half of my bottom. She tries to get the same color inside my crack as well. That was impossible, with me covered by the panties.

Before this most recent theory, we were both convinced I needed to toughen my hide. Mrs. Lion proposed to do this through spankings for punishment, and in weeks when I didn’t earn one, maintenance spankings as well. Perhaps she still has to work on my hide, but it’s clear that I have to continue moisturizing to keep it soft and pliable. As far as I could tell on Thursday night, having a moisturized rear end doesn’t change how sensitive it is.

It may seem odd that our domestic discipline is a cooperative affair with both of us supplying input. A disciplinary relationship is something we both want and have incorporated into our marriage. I owe it to Mrs. Lion to help her observe my offenses and correct me when I commit them. We are both on the same side. It will indeed hurt a lot after I tell her of something I did wrong and remind her to punish me. However, our goal is the same. We both want her to be more aware of things that bother her and to realize she has the power and the obligation to punish me when I commit them. We both profit when she does. A sore butt is a small price to pay.

3 Comments

  1. The fact that you want this and consent to it is abundantly clear, which is really the end of the story as between you two. Query what happens if and when she punishes you like this for something you disagree strongly about, but that has apparently not happened and with every escalation of severity and frequency you have been fully on board.

    The justifications and reasoning are the perplexing part. Your description suggests that because your wife stuffs her feelings and has been reluctant to voice them, that the solution is intense, severe, and frequent physical punishments — as opposed to her learning to voice her feelings verbally. If you had been unable or unwilling to make changes that would have been one thing, but your post suggests that instead of sitting down with you to talk, she had to go straight to inflicting intense physical pain on you. The paddle is how she communicates.

    It seems odd to use something so unpleasant as a means of communication without trying actual communication. This is not the first time I have seen someone do what you do justify it this way, but the justification seems to allow the empowered party to forego the sometimes difficult process of discussing how they feel and just start swinging paddles and belts when they are unhappy about something. The contention that DD avoids arguments is somewhat ridiculous because one party is just disempowered. Of course there are no arguments when one party had unilateral and unfettered discretion to inflict physical pain and to decide how severely to do so.

    As someone who has indulged in and enjoyed spanking play for over 30 years, it is hard to see how you make the jump to embracing something that turns something exciting and stimulating into such a dreaded affair.

    You were right about the “frightening” part. If I suffered what you get and didn’t agree with my wife’s decision to inflict it, the resulting resentment and anger would be insurmountable. I would never look at her the same way again. I would be “stuffing” and “withdrawing.”

    1. Let me make this clear. It was Lion’s idea for me to punish him. It was his idea that I should learn to speak up by using a paddle. I have been learning to growl at him when he does something I don’t like. Admittedly, I haven’t gotten very far, but I’m trying. I’d consider these annoyances minor disagreements. There’s nothing I want to change about Lion. If there was, I would talk to him about it.

      1. I totally get that. My comments are directed to Lion’s state of mind. The very first thing I emphasized was that it was consensual and that he has been fully on board.

        Sometimes it seems like there is a disconnect between the two of you in your posts on this topic. Lion is quick to offer reasons why he thinks you need to do this, but your reasons keep coming back to his just wanting it. He has said in the past that you missed it during times when he was in a physical state that would not allow for spanking.

        He also described your authority in very absolute terms, which seems a bit at odds with how you describe it.

        TThe reasons he offered are ones that others have to, so I wanted to challenge him on them.

        At any rate it was not my intention to portray you as a monster at all. I am just interested in Lion’s explanations and rationales. He is one of the deeper thinkers on these subjects and is sometimes willing to engage on them.

        I have read accounts from DD women who spank and paddle their husbands severely and with a disquieting zeal and glee that suggests they don’t care how much pain they inflict. Lion seems to embrace that idea, but you don’t seem to derive the joy that they do from this.

What do you think?