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In: Anal play
anal trainer kit
I’ll start with the smallest one. Lion thinks it’s too small for him, but he’s never been pegged by a butt plug before. He may be surprised how hard that little thing is to take.

We decided to go to Ikea yesterday. Lion needs better storage for his office space at home so we’re moving things around. Needless to say, I didn’t really get anything done around the house. I’m hoping that will happen today. Although, the things I’ll get done are most likely not much unpacking. However, getting Lion’s office space figured out goes a long way toward making the house more livable.

It was about 8:30 when I shoved the butt plug up Lion’s ass. We didn’t get the early start we hoped for. It must not have been too uncomfortable because he snoozed while it was in. When I tried to wake him up, he said he was ready to play and then he was out again. We finally wound up playing around 9:30 when I removed the butt plug. I’d guess we were at it for about a half hour. I don’t think Lion ever reached a full erection but he was bucking away. I know it felt good for him even if nothing was really happening.

After our attempt at fun, I told Lion he forgot punishment day. I said he owes me a diaper day. Then I suggested that we no longer really need punishment days. I punish him on the day of the infraction, assuming I remember. This, of course, would eliminate a source of infractions. And, Saturdays especially, is a good source of infractions. We decided recently that rules like these are misdemeanors so he wouldn’t be avoiding serious punishment, but perhaps I’m being too hasty in cancelling punishment days. Any opportunity for punishment of any sort is welcome. For now, we’ll keep them.

We got the set of three butt plugs Lion ordered so we can begin anal training. At first glance, they look laughably small. He said the smallest one is probably not usable. However, if you consider that these will be going in and out like a dildo, the smaller one might not feel all that insignificant. I think we’ll start off with it. If it is too small we can certainly move on to the next size. We’ve never used a butt plug like a dildo before so I’m reluctant to start out too large. He’ll need time to adjust.

As I mentioned, Lion is in a diaper today. I allowed him to pee before putting on the first one. From then on he’ll have to pee and sit in a wet diaper. He can change from that wet diaper just before he has to pee again. That way he’ll always be in a wet diaper. You’re welcome, my pet. [Lion — Humph!]

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In: Anal play, BDSM, Hand Jobs

Mrs. Lion has been writing about reviving some of our past activities. I’m writing this post at noon on Saturday. When we got up this morning, she mentioned that she’s going to go look for the bag that contains my panties. As far as I’m concerned, they can stay lost. Wearing panties is not only humiliating but also pretty uncomfortable.

She’s also discussing reinstating my anal training. In her post yesterday, she mentioned that she may not want to fist me, but she definitely wants me to learn to take larger objects and have her peg me. Then she went on to say that having fingers up my ass is a very intimate activity not unlike me having my penis inside of her. I suppose it is. It’s absolutely intimate. I think it’s a lot less comfortable for me then when she has my penis inside her. Oh well. I agree anal activities forces both of us to be very close to one another and share a most intimate-if-uncomfortable activity.

It’s a little ironic when she wants me to wear women’s underwear. Normally, I’m completely naked at home. In fact, I haven’t had a stitch of clothing on since last Wednesday when I went for physical therapy. But I get it. Even though panties or, for that matter, a diaper, covers me up, they do so in a way I certainly didn’t select for myself.

This is the Digit vibrator by Hot Octopuss. It is intended as a woman’s toy, but Mrs. Lion thinks she can wear it on a finger and put that finger on my penis where it gets me most excited while she jerks me off.

Sometimes people are confused by why we do these things. One reason is that I find it a turn-on when Mrs. Lion flexes her muscles this way. Another is that the bottom in me enjoys the humiliation and discomfort. This isn’t totally true of anal training. I get a real sense of accomplishment when Mrs. Lion is able to use something larger without me having a lot of pain. It feels like I am giving her something. I also like that it doesn’t matter to her whether or not I like it or not. It’s something she wants to do, and therefore, she will do it. I really encourage her to behave this way. I love it in her and I think it’s good for both of us.

If she can find the bag of women’s underwear, I imagine I will be wearing them for a good part of the weekend. I will certainly be carrying a heavy Njoy butt plug up my ass for several hours later today. If she has the time and energy, Mrs. Lion will also be removing more of my body hair. Right now, I am luxuriating by sitting naked in my desk chair sharing my thoughts with you.

Mrs. Lion is also considering a hybrid approach to edging me. She got the idea that if she had a vibrator that attaches to her finger, she can use the force of the vibrator and the attention of her hand in a modified hand job. It sounds very interesting. I showed her a product that might work. It’s called the Digit. It’s a vibrator that fits over the finger. The people who make it intended as a woman’s toy. The idea is that she can use her finger on her clit while the vibe is providing stimulation through her finger. Mrs. Lion’s idea is that the same can be true of me if she applies that finger to the right spot on my penis. It sounds exciting.

I’m very happy that Mrs. Lion is thinking about things we can do together. I know this is difficult for her because sex is strictly one-way with us. I believe that she is coming to see that while I get sexual pleasure, she gets a sense of increased intimacy. She also gets more of a sense of control. I suspect the control is less interesting to her than the intimacy. I’m very glad that she can find pleasure in things she does to me.

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In: Anal play, Mrs Lion Comments
lion in frilly boy panties
I found the bag of panties. I put Lion in these frilly boy-panties. The way he is pushing on that pouch tells me he is starting to get a woody. Do you think he likes wearing frilly female undies?

I’m not sure why I was so tired last night. I thought I’d been sleeping better. I worked my normal hours, came home with lunch to share with Lion, fixed a problem with our back door and snuggled in to get warm with Lion and watch TV. Unlike Lion I knew I was falling asleep and I was fighting it. I lost. I woke up long enough to discuss dinner with Lion. Then we both snoozed. The next time I woke up, Lion had dinner in the oven.

After dinner, Lion snoozed. I got out the butt plug I talked about yesterday and when he woke up, I asked if he wanted to play. He was cold, tired, and his shoulder hurt. We decided we’d wait a day. Today we’ll try to play earlier. I just remembered I told him I’d make him wear panties today if I can remember where I put them. He conveniently left them on the bed one day rather than putting them in his dresser because he “didn’t think he’d need them”. He was right. He doesn’t need them. He’ll never need them. But sometimes I want him to wear them. My want trumps his need. I’ll search for them as soon as I’m done writing.

Other than unpacking, I’m not sure what the day has in store for us. At some point I will shove the butt plug up Lion’s ass. I still want him to start out slow with anal training. I haven’t been consistent with it and it will take some time for him to loosen up. I know he thinks we can make it all the way to fisting in no time, but I have my doubts. First of all, as I’ve said before, I’m not sure I really want to fist him anymore. I’ll definitely train him to take larger dildos, butt plugs and to be able to manage pegging, but I might not fist him. Sometimes the journey is better than the destination anyway.

I’m considering anal training as not only an exercise in power over Lion, but also a time for closeness. I think it’s very intimate to shove your fingers inside your partner. [Lion — Right! I feel the same way. Fisting is probably less a power demonstration than a form of supreme intimacy.] Isn’t it similar to having a penis inside a vagina? I guess I forgot how close we can get while doing it. Hand jobs and blow jobs may have become somewhat mechanical lately, but anal training takes time and care. This is a very sensitive area and one that is not necessarily used to attention. At least not the attention of an invading object. Nope. We’ll take our time and enjoy it. [Lion — at least one of us will.]

By:
In: Anal play
anal trainer kit
Inexpensive anal trainer kit. The rings on the ends of the plugs makes it easy to move them in and out. Click image to go to shopping site.

For a long time I’ve enjoyed – well that’s not exactly the right word – anal play. I guess that in my case, stimulating my anus is a little erotic in terms of sexually stimulating me, and very erotic in the mental BDSM sense. Anyway, Mrs. Lion occasionally will do some anal play. In the past, she expressed interest in being able to fist me. That is, getting her whole hand up my ass. All of her attempts failed after the first three fingers. I just couldn’t handle the pain when she tried to get more penetration.

I thought the problem was my inability to relax enough to accept more of her hand. That turned out to be a correct assumption. To solve this problem, I suggested she begin to train me to accept increasingly larger dildos. By larger I mean thicker. Almost all of our dildos are about 8 inches of insertable length. That’s a good size and safe to use. Over time, she was able to get me to accept, without too much discomfort, a 2 inch diameter dildo. This should be wide enough to be about the same size as four of her fingers. Yet I still had extremely serious pain each time she tried.

One school of thought is that I should learn to accept the pain and let her keep going. I don’t disagree. However, this sort of anal training requires a lot of patience on both of our parts. It’s absolutely possible for her to get her entire hand in. However, it takes considerable preparation to get in there. When you see porn videos that show a man being fisted, insertion generally takes a couple of minutes at most. What you don’t see is the long preparation done before the video was shot.

The anus has considerable ability to expand. It’s a muscle that normally stays contracted. Training for penetration has nothing to do with stretching anything. It’s training to learn to relax the anal sphincters; there are two: the one we all see and on further inside. This takes time and patience. Over the years I’ve done quite a bit of research on the subject and only recently did I learn a surprisingly easy and reliable way to get trained sufficiently to be fisted. This training doesn’t use dildos at all.

According to people who have a lot of experience with this, a very good way to be trained to relax when needed is using butt plugs in a different way. Mrs. Lion likes to use butt plugs with me. They are very easy for her. She lubes up the plug puts a little more lube around the rim of my anus and inserts the plug. Then she can go do other things while the plug marinates inside me. The plugs construction is designed to let me retain it without any external devices to hold in. It has a conical shape ending in a shoulder which is a sharp right angle, followed by a stem much thinner than the widest part of the plug, and then at the end a wide base to prevent the plug from slipping inside.

Plugs come in a wide variety of sizes starting from relatively thin ones (about 1 inch in diameter) up to giants that measure four or more inches in diameter. The way Mrs. Lion uses butt plugs is a good way to express her dominance. She generally has me retain the plug for two hours or more. As time goes by, it becomes less and less comfortable. When I’m wiggling on the bed looking for a comfortable position, she usually removes the plug. This is a fine and fun form of anal play.

fisting hand position

Training for activities like fisting and pegging require a different sort of training. In this case, the plug is used very much like a dildo. It is inserted all the way and then removed. Inserted again and again. This is very uncomfortable, at least in the beginning but it’s absolutely critical in terms of anal training. Rather than just training the anus to comfortably accept larger and larger objects, butt plug training teaches the anus to relax immediately upon the presence of something trying to enter.

This makes sense to me. The most uncomfortable part of anal play for me is the initial insertion. That initial pressure and expansion is always the most painful part. Once an object is in and if it’s left there, after a relatively short time it’s easy to retain. The uncomfortable part is the opening and closing of my sphincters. If you’ve done anal play, I’m sure you’ve noticed how removing a butt plug is very uncomfortable as the shoulder is puledl out and then almost immediately feels good as the rest of the plug slides out. Slow pegging with a butt plug forces experiencing that discomfort over and over. After time, I’m told that the discomfort becomes less and less. Your body learns to relax as soon as something is pressed against your anus.

Training this way is done very much the same as with dildos. Start with a relatively small diameter butt plug, and as discomfort is reduced, go one size up. If this is done on a regular basis, say three times a week, over time, your anus will be trained to relax and accept larger and larger objects. This doesn’t take a very long time I’m told. If the sessions are long enough, reasonably comfortable pegging with a plug can be achieved with only two sessions before a larger size will be needed.

Keep it slippery
Let’s talk about lube. Obviously, lots of lubrication is needed to avoid injury and massive pain. Over the years, we’ve tried lots and lots of lubes. The most slippery lubes tend to be silicone. However, since almost all toys are now made of silicone, this lube can’t be used with toys of the same material. It will soften and dissolve the toy. We’ve been using Boy Butter, a reasonably inexpensive lube designed explicitly for anal play. It’s easy to clean up and won’t break the bank if you use a lot.

Eros is a fairly new product that is highly recommended in the articles I read about fisting. It is a silicone hybrid. People say it is safe to use with silicone toys. Experienced fisting advocates rate this particular lube very highly. It is thick and long-lasting. It contains a slight amount of anesthetic that helps make it easier to accept objects. It is supposed to be extremely slippery. I have a jar (it’s expensive, by the way) and I hope Mrs. Lion will use it on her next anal session with me.

For me, anal training is something I love to hate. It’s uncomfortable and the furthest thing I can think of from activities that will make me hard. However, it’s also one of the most visceral ways to sexually submit. Thinking about being fisted is very exciting to me. I’m even excited about being trained. However, I’m sure I will be unhappy during the process.

Some women find anally penetrating their partners very sexy. I know one woman who makes this the first thing she does with any man. She keeps several pairs of rubber gloves in her purse for this purpose. She enjoys taking 45 minutes to an hour to train the man to take her hand. She’s always successful. Unfortunately, the one time she was able to try this with me, we were interrupted just as she put on her glove and began using one finger inside me, she had to leave.

Years ago I knew a couple who love anal fisting. They would do workshops on how to do it at national events. I attended more than one. Her husband was so well-trained that she could make the appropriate hand shape for insertion, lube her hand, and in seconds be halfway up to her elbow. This is probably the most extreme case I know. She really loved doing that to him and he loved it too. I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to be that enthusiastic. However, in the past, she has worked up some excitement about training me.

The subject of “training” really turns me on. In a way, it’s like being hypnotized. I somehow learn to do something without any conscious thought. I call it training, others consider it conditioning. In either case, it’s a very visceral experience to find yourself unconsciously conforming to rules imposed by others. Anal training is a very strong example of this sort of conditioning. To a small degree I’m already conditioned to accept some of the smaller objects we have. It’s easy for me to accept the Njoy metal butt plug. Mrs. Lion inserted it a few weeks ago and was quite surprised at how easily I took it. Maybe that plug is a good starting point for me. Repeated insertion and removal of that plug will be less alien to me. I’m pretty sure it won’t be much fun in the beginning. I’m also sure it won’t take long before it’s easy for me to manage it. Then Mrs. Lion can move on to the next larger object.

Like everything else we do, I guess we have to agree to try and then use a structured schedule to assure we actually follow through. Maybe this could be part of the recreational activity on punishment day. That would be Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. What do you think Mrs. Lion?