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I have noticed that writing posts in a blog is sometimes a sort of confessional. It’s anonymous and, therefore, safe to use to express our secrets. I wouldn’t be a sex blogger writing about all of my most intimate experiences if people I know could identify me. I don’t think it’s a matter of shame at the disgusting things I like–they aren’t disgusting at all. I feel that removing the cloak of secrecy crosses some sort of line that might shock them.

When I think about it, I realize that if someone finds my blog and reads it, they are expressing an interest in the sexual things I write about. They are unlikely to recoil in shock when they discover I get spanked. They may envy me instead.

Still, there is the matter of context. Years ago I ran for a position of leadership in a large BDSM organization. I was well-known to hundreds of members. We all understood the need for discretion. I was working as a management consultant and visited a client’s office. A member of the BDSM group worked there and recognized me. “Hi,” she said, “I voted for you.”

I was taken aback. I managed to thank her and get away as fast as I could. Later, when I thought about it, I realized my reaction was unnecessary. She didn’t out me. She simply acknowledged that we had some connection outside of work. It was the wrong place. It wasn’t, of course. It was my fear that revealing the BDSM side of my life would impact my professional standing.

I wasn’t doing anything illegal or immoral. I realized that wasn’t the point. In our society we hide our sexual behavior. It’s not polite to discuss what you do in bed. If the clothes come off, you don’t talk about what happens with casual friends or people in the office. At least, that’s true here in the US. Sure, everyone knows I have sex with my wife. They don’t know what we do.

In a way, that’s too bad. As those of us who have the ability to discuss intimate things here on the Net, have learned, sharing and learning from each other enriches our lives. I realize that most of our readers probably don’t practice male chastity or domestic discipline, but they are interested in it nonetheless. Mrs. Lion and I share thoughts here and profit from the feedback we give one another about our posts. It turns out that blogs have opend the door to many unusual sexual practices. I’ve learned a lot from fellow bloggers.

I’m not advocating revealing our identities. We are safer being anonymous. I am suggesting that blogs like ours are useful resources for people who may think they are alone with what they like. Isn’t that wonderful?

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hand job closeup
Yes, that’s really us.

When we had dinner on Saturday night and I still been unspanked, I figured I had another day’s reprieve. Nope, I didn’t. A little while after we ate she got the spanking bench ready and handed me my waist restraint. I groaned. I wasn’t in the mood for a spanking. OK, you’re right, I’m never in the mood to get spanked. Of course it didn’t matter. Mrs. Lion strapped me down and went to work.

Some spankings feel worse than others. This one was particularly painful. I’m not sure why since Mrs. Lion was using her usual leather paddle, but it was. I was miserable almost from the very start. She ended it a little before the ten minutes were up. I’m glad. I had enough. There was very little damage to my butt. It was a bit leathery in two spots (one spot on each cheek), but that’s all. I probably won’t be so lucky next time.

Mrs. Lion said that she was going to jerk me off today (Sunday). That may not seem like a big event to you, but it is for me. Over ten years ago, Mrs. Lion forbade masturbation. I haven’t jerked off since. I am totally dependent on her for sexual release.

It’s been a very long time since she’s gotten me off by hand. My last handjob was in January of 2023. Every orgasm since then has been oral. I love oral sex, both getting and giving. I haven’t given Mrs. Lion an orgasm in over two years. She’s lost interest.

Over most of the last decade, my orgasms have been produced with her hand. In between orgasms, she used her hand to edge me on a nearly daily basis. At one point, I stopped responding and couldn’t orgasm, no matter how hard she worked with her hand. That’s when she switched to using her mouth for both orgasms and teasing.

Mrs. Lion likes to suck my cock. She really likes the taste of semen. Yuck! I don’t. How do I know? she occasionally feeds my semen to me. She makes me lick it off her fingers. The longer I try to stall, the worse the taste gets as it ages. I try to remember that and promptly consume it when offered. Lately, I’ve produced little-to-no semen. If I make some today, I wonder in whose mouth it will end up.

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woman spanking husband

I didn’t get spanked on Thursday night. Mrs. Lion was a bit under the weather. I’m very sure that she won’t forget that she owes me one. Spankings are almost never forgotten. I’m writing this post on Friday morning. I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. It’s unlikely that we will get home before six. I’m not sure if that means I get another reprieve. Over the years, we’ve learned that punishment has to be consistent to be effective. Mrs. Lion is very consistent.

In her post yesterday, “An Hour Long Spanking?,” she said I’ve failed to send her a daily email since moving. She’s right; I have. I thought she suspended my rules until we were settled in. Apparently, in her mind, the only rule suspended was setting up the coffee pot. The daily email rule remained in effect. This was a surprise to me. It doesn’t matter since I was in trouble for not remembering my pill packets earlier this week. I’m owed punishment any way you look at it.

Mrs. Lion’s system of only punishing for breaking very specific rules has one drawback: it removes a sense of danger for me and makes her need to create those rules. I’m not suggesting that she stop setting rules for me to obey. I am suggesting that she consider some silent, relationship rules to spice things up.

I do little things that can annoy her. As she has said, they don’t rise to the level of needing correction in order for her to feel better. I get it. Every couple has those little events that are annoying for a few minutes and then fade into the background. I think that those little things are opportunities to expand our disciplinary activities. No, it isn’t because our marriage will improve if I’m spanked for little annoyances. I will benefit becuase I will get more spankings for a reason.

I need regular spanking. It’s sexual and emotional fuel for me. No, I can’t explain why I’m wired that way. It’s a fact of my life. We established “Just Because” spankings to fill in when I didn’t earn punishment. It hasn’t been very effective because Mrs. Lion doesn’t remember to give them. On the other hand, if I break a rule, she has the memory of an elephant. The obvious solution is to lower the threshold on what earns me punishment. It isn’t because I need to change as much as it provides many more opportunities to catch me and punish me. We both like it when that happens. She likes catching me and I need the spanking that follows. It’s a win-win

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bare butt spanking

I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to admit that I want to be spanked. I’m not alone. Outside of limited BDSM circles, where spanking enthusiasts meet in person, not too many people are willing to reveal this interest.

I haven’t seen any studies about how many adults actually get spanked versus the number who dream about it. We know that around 80 percent of US and Canadian adults have had spanking dreams. The large majority of those dreams had the dreamer being spanked, not doing the spanking. Wouldn’t that make those of us who actually get spanked the lucky ones? Shouldn’t we be bragging about it?

Well, no.

People who get spanked fall into two general groups: BDSM players and disciplinary spanking recipients. The BDSM folks freely admit (to other BDSM folks) that they want to be spanked. The second group is more interesting.

The recipients of disciplinary spankings exhibit a spectrum of rationalization. Take a look at the non-religious domestic discipline websites. Guys who want their wives to spank them and want to believe there is a reason for the spankings other than a deep desire for them create an interesting situation to frame the practice.

The key is that this group says that they need to be spanked to be better men. They consent to disciplinary spankings so their wives can train them to behave better. Does that mean they need maternal authority to flourish?

Mrs. Lion spanks me and punishes me when I break a rule she has made for me. Does that mean she is exercising maternal authority? She doesn’t think so, and neither do I. She may be playing a disciplinary maternal role because I asked her to, but she isn’t actually assuming that uncomfortable position.

The problem with the concept of a female-led relationship (FLR) is that it usually translates to the woman becoming an authoritarian figure (mommy?) who actively manages and punishes her partner. It’s a hot fantasy but not usually a viable reality.

reality checks help make DD work

While I realize that Mrs. Lion spanks me because I asked her to, it doesn’t change the fact that I get punished when I break a rule. Too many guys focus on the disciplinary process–let’s face it, it’s hot–and overlook that their wives are providing a needed service. It’s way more fun to stay in the role of disciplined husband.

Mrs. Lion and I have a balance when it comes to domestic discipline. While I’ve consented to her having broad authority over me, I lead more than I follow. It works better for us that way. Sure, it’s fun to write about my trips to the spanking bench. It’s more fun when there is a reason for the trip. So, yes, I am a disciplined husband. My wife spanks me to change my behavior. It’s true domestic discipline.

However, I’m a disciplined husband because I want it that way. Mrs. Lion is providing me with an important service by making sure she beats my bottom regularly. If I didn’t ask her to do it, she wouldn’t. It was my idea. I have to admit it; I need to be spanked regularly.