By:
In: Domestic discipline, Punishment, Sex
lion in thong panties

Why do I want it? This is a question that Mrs. Lion has decided not to explore. The “it” in question presents a moving target for her. It includes male chastity, domestic discipline, and many BDSM activities. In all of them, she does things to me that I’m almost sure to dislike when I get them. Almost all of them are my idea. What the hell?

The simplest and most logical answer is that I’m wired that way. Dig a little deeper, and things get more difficult. Is it that I like pain? Possibly. I do get hard when Mrs. Lion masturbates me while Icy Hot is burning my perineum and balls. I also sport an erection while she covers the same areas with clothespins. Is an erection an expression of pleasure? It signifies sexual arousal even when activities aren’t fun. After all, a woman being raped will often get wet and even have an orgasm. That doesn’t mean she welcomed the activity.

We are different. Everything Mrs. Lion does is consensual. I’ve agreed to the painful fun. The erection, while my balls burn, isn’t necessarily a signal that I’m having a good time. I’m not sure what it means. I know that I want her to do things like that to me. The same is true of male chastity. I get turned on thinking about being edged and going to sleep frustrated. Crazy, huh? Of course, it isn’t. I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested.

A much more difficult-to-understand kink is domestic discipline. I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge and punish me when she sees fit. She creates rules I must follow. Disobedience gets me punished. Mrs. Lion strongly prefers spanking me with a paddle. My last spanking hurt for three days. These are real punishments. DD has become part of the fabric of our marriage. Mrs. Lion expects obedience. She doesn’t behave like some BDSM dominant in black tights. She is a loving wife. When I break a rule, she either gives me “the look” or says, “Uh oh.” I know what that means. There is no drama. Punishments are also very routine. She tells me to get into position and then spanks me—no fetish at all,  a lot of pain.

This is how she chooses to conduct our disciplinary relationship. It works because she is consistent. I’ve learned that disobedience earns punishment with no drama. She does appear to be a little amused when it hurts for me to sit down. There is no sympathy and no scolding. It’s a very simple cause-and-effect situation. Break a rule and get punished.

Another related kink is when Mrs. Lion makes me wear panties or a diaper. I dislike either. Having to wear them is a very clear signal of who’s in charge. This is another situation that is way more fun to think about than to endure. Both are uncomfortable. She has also put nail polish on a toenail or two. That’s not uncomfortable, but it looks weird to me when I see my feet. These things are humiliating and not what I would do on my own. There’s a whole bag of ugly panties and tons of diapers ready for her to make me wear when the mood strike. She’s never made me wear panties for more than a few hours at a time. I’m not sure why we bought so many. Every so often, Mrs. Lion gets creative and thinks of something new for me. I like that a lot.

All of this has a rather simple common denominator: they demonstrate her control. She doesn’t have to walk around wearing boots and carrying a whip. She doesn’t have to bark orders or scold me. Ten minutes with her paddle is enough to make sure I remember who is in charge. In case you wondered, it’s how I want it.

By:
In: Writing, Lion's Journal

If you’ve been reading along for a while, you know I wrote a novel. I self-published it on Amazon. That turned out to be less than wonderful. I don’t have any way to promote the book, so not many copies have sold. I decided to try to get an agent. I own the Amazon publication, and I can transfer it to any other publisher. I sent lots of queries to agents. I got some replies, all negative. One agent liked the book but said publishers had trouble with previously published books, so she passed. I have more than one book in me, so live and learn.

I’ve also realized that I could do a much better job with fiction. Writing for this blog isn’t particularly good training. Yes, it helps me sharpen my vocabulary and style. I’m writing in the active voice most of the time now. But it doesn’t make up for lack of knowledge when it comes to fiction. Fan Mail has gotten good feedback from people who read it. I got a lot of help from Mrs. Lion and Julie, who are both gifted bloggers. I’m happy with that story. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t do much better.

All those rejection letters are hard to ignore. I realize that at best, some student reader spent ten minutes with the story. Unsolicited manuscripts get little interest. That’s why I published myself. I’m in the process of writing a second novel. This one is proving much more difficult to write. I think that may be a good sign. My writing process is less organic. I’m trying hard to craft the story so that the characters have more depth. Maybe I’m kidding myself. It could be that my confidence is damaged, and I don’t trust what I write. I don’t know.

After I sent off all those queries to agents and started getting rejections, I stopped liking the 150 pages of my new book, which I had already written. I’m back on the first page again, struggling with the opening. I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of Stein On Writing by Sol Stein. He’s a famous editor and writer. He gives good advice but does nothing to improve my self-confidence. I’m not a quitter, but I truly don’t need to find ways to depress myself. Before I published Fan Mail and tried to get an agent, I was having a lot of fun writing; not so much now.

I don’t know any fiction writers, so I have no network to help me through this. In the meantime, I’ll keep slogging along, and when I get enough of the revision done, I’ll share it with my amateur editors.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

It hurts to sit. It’s been two days since Mrs. Lion spanked me. It may be more uncomfortable than yesterday. Aside from the soreness, there’s an itch too. That’s probably part of the healing process. I’m not complaining. It shows that Mrs. Lion is effective when she wants to punish me. Boy is she! Yesterday, we discussed some of the physical questions that come up during a strong spanking. Mrs. Lion is concerned about doing real damage. It’s difficult to really injure a bottom with a paddle. She worried about hitting bruises.

Hitting a bruise isn’t a great idea. It’s serious if you use a cane or whip. The force they can deliver could break the skin and potentially do deeper muscle injury. Even then, I’m not aware of damage requiring medical attention. It’s true that I bleed a little and show red marks under my skin. I’m sure this is because I take blood thinners, which makes it easier to mark me. Mrs. Lion said that she saw areas that appeared swollen. I felt them after she finished. She worried that hitting those areas might injure me. For the record, those spots didn’t develop into bruises or sore spots. I decided to do some research.

Accounts of disciplinary spankings include mention of swelling, white spots, and blisters. Based on the pictures Mrs. Lion took right after she spanked me show minimal swelling and some very obvious blisters (See image, right). I’ve read several references to these. None of the experienced paddlers considered swelling or blisters as reasons to stop. They did say that these marks are signs of an effective spanking. From what I’ve read, white areas seem to be the next stage a chastised bottom displays. These signs are fairly new to both of us, and I appreciate that Mrs. Lion was cautious. I think it’s safe to hit these areas. At least experiment and see the outcome. I’ll hate it.  Of course, that’s the idea.

Mrs. Lion wrote that we had some minor disagreements, and it apparently bothered her that I argued with her. I have no memory of this. I don’t remember her growling at me. I know that she is concerned about picking her battles. Punishing me for arguing is no different than punishing me for getting food on my shirt or forgetting to set up the coffee pot. If she consistently observes and reacts, I will learn. It’s what we both want.

I think I understand why she didn’t pursue these offenses. Because they bother her as opposed to external unemotional rules, it seems to cause her to hesitate. Punishing me for arguing is no different from getting food on my shirt. They don’t put our relationship at risk. It’s what I want. OK?

By:
In: Spanking

As promised, Mrs. Lion spanked me on Saturday night. It was a “you must have done something” spanking. For the first time, she did a full-on DWC spanking. After I got into position along the foot of the bed, the yoga pillow raising my butt, she set a ten-minute timer. Her warmup was longer and a bit gentler than usual. I welcomed that. Then she began swatting in ernest. After what felt like a long time, she said, “It’s been three minutes.” Oh boy!

During the spanking, she complained that I was getting blood on her paddle. I didn’t respond. My focus was elsewhere. When the ten-minute timer went off, Mrs. Lion didn’t stop. If anything, she hit harder. Eventually, she announced she was done. As you can see in the image accompanying Mrs. Lion’s post, my bottom wasn’t looking very good when she finished. It was also very sore. The soreness persisted, and it hurt even on the soft bed when I rolled over onto my back. Today (Sunday), it takes work to find a comfortable position in my desk chair. Mrs. Lion used the spanking spoon with the new “golf club” grip on the handle. She reported that it didn’t slip. How nice for her.

Saturday night’s spanking ushered in lioness 4.0. This fearsome version has the ability to use corporal punishment in a strong enough way to make a meaningful impression on this adult male. 4.0 can ignore the vocal and physical protests to send a strong message. I know Mrs. Lion doesn’t celebrate this growth, but I do. She is a full-fledged disciplinary wife who can hold her head high in any gathering of similarly-inclined women.

Since there are no such gatherings, and even if she wouldn’t attend, the distinction remains between us. I have to point out that this is great personal growth. Lioness 1.0 could barely leave a touch of pink on my bottom. 3.0 struggled to make a spanking last five minutes. 4.0 spanks me well past the ten-minute timer. As she will quickly point out, it’s because that’s the way I want it. I’ve encouraged her to increase the time and severity of her spankings. I have.

I’m very grateful she has been able to reach this point. I’m confident that over time this will be my standard spanking. Ouch!

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