By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

Mrs. Lion promised to spank me in her post on Friday (“The Die is Cast“). She followed through in her usual lioness fashion. As soon as I got out of the shower, she set up the spanking bench. I noticed and, as soon as she set it up, I mounted it. She didn’t say a word. She rarely speaks when she spanks me. She got out a paddle, and as she swatted me, she said this was my warmup. Shortly after that, she asked Alexa to start a ten-minute timer.

She then proceeded to spank me with a variety of wood and leather paddles. It was very intense and I was yelping and kicking my feet the entire time. At one point, it was so painful that I reached back and touched her leg. “Are you trying to grab me?” she asked.

I didn’t answer. I had no idea what she would do if I admitted I was. She swatted harder and faster. When the timer went off, she said, “You asked for more intense, didn’t you?”

I didn’t answer. She was hitting too hard for me to get words out. The timer was done, but she wasn’t. As she kept hitting me, she said that I had been bleeding, but she didn’t care. When she finally finished, she went to the bed and put the coconut welcome mat on the bed. “I think this is where your butt goes,” she said.. “If it’s off, you can adjust it.” She gave me her sweet smile.

The mat was in the right place, and it dug into my sore buns. She left the room and went to the kitchen to make dinner. After a while, she returned and told me that she had a reason to spank me after all. I hadn’t finished setting up the coffee maker. She returned to the kitchen without further comment. I tried not to squirm on the irritating mat. After fifteen more minutes, she returned and told me I could remove the mat. It felt very good to lie on the cool sheets.

I have two sore spots, one on each cheek. I can feel them as I sit at my desk writing this post. Mrs. Lion is starting to get her mojo back. She will almost certainly continue turning up the volume if she stays interested in our FLR.

Inertia works two ways. Inaction breeeds more inaction. That’s been Mrs. Lion’s problem over the years. But, once action begins, inertia keeps things going. If Mrs. Lion develops a disciplinary habit, her interest and my corrections will increase in frequency and severity. I want that. Our communication and affection increases in direct proportion with the intensity of our disciplinary marriage.

For the record, my toenails are still unpainted, and my lioness hasn’t put in panties.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline
woman talking with dog

I have been thinking about why I ordered a bunch of women’s panties (most still haven’t arrived) and a male G-string. I don’t have an underwear fetish, and Mrs. Lion has never shown any real interest in putting me into panties. Something deeper is going on.

I wrote a post asking for suggestions for ways Mrs. Lion can assert her power other than by spanking me. One reader, Kerry Walker, suggested that she have me wear an anklet or male necklace as signs of her ownership. I don’t know if that resonates with her at all.

Women in FLR’s have often marked their male partners to demonstrate their power. Collars, ankle bracelets, tattoos, and male chastity devices are the most common. The idea is to provide a constant reminder to both people that there is something special happening.

Vanilla couples display commitment visually as well. They display everything except male chastity devices as signs of their devotion. The challenge is to find something that works for both members of the relationship. For whatever reason, spanking works for us. When Mrs. Lion spanks me, we both feel our power exchange. It would be hard for me not to feel it then. Mrs. Lion feels it, too. I’m sure of that. She may not get a sexual charge or a power rush out of spanking me, but it seems to focus her on her role. The more time that goes by between spankings, the less actively in charge she gets.

Right now, it is at a low point. She has been writing about playful ways to assert herself but has made no move to act. Other than spanking, nothing else seems to interest her. This can mean a couple of things. The most obvious is that discipline (spanking) is all that works for her. Seeing me wearing something that signifies her control may not do anything to reinforce our FLR.

Maybe I bore her. Something’s not working. I don’t know what it is. I know there is a problem when she talks to the dog more than she talks to me.

By:
In: Power Exchange, Spanking

There was a comment on my post yesterday, suggesting I get Lion an ankle bracelet to show I own him. I’ve never really been fond of the phrase “own him” or any variation thereof. He’s not my slave. He’s mine and I’m his, but neither of us owns the other. Nevertheless, a long time ago, I suggested he wear a necklace with a lock or something. He said he doesn’t like wearing jewelry. He was leaning more toward wearing a collar, which he did a few times when we went out, but it was obviously very visible, and he couldn’t wear it to work. Hence, my necklace suggestion.

As I was answering the comment, it occurred to me that I don’t care if he likes wearing jewelry or not. Am I not trying to show my power? If I say he’s going to wear a necklace, he’ll wear a necklace. And he will. I just ordered it. It’s a six-sided necklace engraved with “Property of Your Lioness Don’t Forget I Love You!” across the faces. It will be here in a week or two. Done. All I have to do now is make him wear it.

Speaking of making him do things, I’m dragging out the spanking bench this afternoon. He didn’t get a proper spanking last time and he has annoyed me a few times since then. I might even make him sit on that nasty doormat. Coconut husks are very prickly, especially on freshly whomped buns. He might not complain about not feeling a spanking for long once he gets one enhanced with a doormat. Silly boy.

[Lion — Does this mean painted nails, panties, and the necklace? PS: She’s right. I don’t like the idea of wearing a necklace at all, but I love that she will make me wear it anyway. I also wonder if we are back to the old-fashioned, strict spankings.]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline

Over the years, I’ve seen many ideas on how to automate a power exchange. They range from random number generators to determine time locked in a male chastity device to mechanical spinners that point to specific punishments or penalties. Games are invented that provide penalties for the submissive partner. We have played a few (Spankardy, Zapardy, and our NFL spanking game).

The reason for this is to provide frequent reminders of the power exchange. Most couples aren’t hardwired to maintain the female-led model. Both partners need frequent reminders of their roles. Unfortunately, almost all ideas on how to do this come from the male partner. It isn’t a case of topping from the bottom, as it is a cry for help.

I feel it myself. Unless I break one of my very few rules, there is no demonstration of Mrs. Lion’s power. Neither of us wants to have her micromanage my life. She doesn’t have the time or inclination. So, how can she remind me of her role without expending too much energy?

One way is the obvious one that got us started in all this: locking me in a male chastity device. That takes little energy on her part and reminds me constantly of who is in charge. The problem with that is it’s a passive solution. Mrs. Lion isn’t reinforced in her role by me being locked in a male chastity device. She isn’t interested in sex, and I know she doesn’t pay much attention to my penis. I spent years locked up, so the impact of wearing a male chastity device isn’t very powerful for me, either.

Passive domination like male chastity devices or forced feminization (panties) is useful only if both partners are actively involved in the process. For example, if Mrs. Lion selects and presents panties for me to wear, it is active domination. Our roles are being reinforced. If, on the other hand, I’m just told to wear panties, the effect is minimal on her and not very powerful to me either. It’s her active control that matters.

That’s why behavioral rules only work when there is active supervision and enforcement. If something is intended to be a bit humiliating, then comments to reinforce that humiliation are needed. Unless Mrs. Lion points them out to me, I’ll forget if I’m put in panties because after a while they feel like any other underwear I might wear. It’s only when I’m reminded of the fact that I’m forced to wear female undies is the exercise useful.

Spanking has turned out to be the only powerful reminder of our relative roles. Nothing else has remained a regular part of our lives. That’s not to say that something else couldn’t,k but at this point it’s the go-to activity in our FLR lifestyle. I’m OK with that. It works for both of us. The more frequently Mrs. Lion paddles me, the more aware we are of our roles.

spanking paddle on refrigerator

Obviously, if Mrs. Lion is going to spank me much more frequently, she may need to consider some alternatives to our ten-minute full-scale punishments. In the past, she made use of the kitchen paddle. She would have me bend over the counter for some painful swats. That’s just one example. We have enough paddles for her always to have one within easy reach.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that spanking is the best choice for us. It’s humiliating and lets both of us know who is in charge. It has a lasting effect to remind me of Mrs. Lion’s power over me. That’s not to say that other, less painful choices aren’t useful too. I think we have to look for as many opportunities for Mrs. Lion to actively express her power as we can.

The key for us to keep a healthy FLR is active domination. Authority that isn’t exercised disappears rapidly. It’s too easy to let things slip. Domination is like vegetables It’s easy to make dinner with just meat, but it’s not healthy to ignore the greens. The same thing is true with a power exchange. It’s easy to acknowledge that we have one and occasionally bring out the paddle for punishment. That works, but doing that neglects the emotional and sexual nurishment that an active power exchange provides. I really need a more balanced diet.