Sometimes taking care of Lion gets to me. It’s usually a little thing that sends me off the rails. Obviously, it’s a combination of things and that last straw really does break the camel’s back.

Since I’ve gotten contacts, I’ve been using Lion’s mirror in the bathroom. I use the higher magnification side and I try to remember to flip it back over to Lion’s side when I’m done. This morning, I flipped it but I didn’t get it into the correct position. When Lion went to put his contacts in, the case fell off the mirror and he lost a lens. He said, “I would appreciate it if you could put it back flat when you’re done with it.” For some reason, this hit a nerve.

It’s trivial. What’s the big deal? Why can’t I just make sure the mirror is flat? Why can’t he just make sure the mirror is flat? Is the toilet seat up or down? Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? Who cares? It’s just a nit picky thing that pushes all the wrong buttons.

Again, I think it’s in addition to other nit picky things that aren’t worth mentioning at the time. There’s something in front of the coffee pot so he couldn’t put it together for tomorrow. Could he move the “something” out of the way? That’s happened a few times and when I look it’s been things he bought that have no home yet. A few times it’s been dishes. But the way he says it makes it sound like it’s my stuff. How dare I put something on a counter. The nerve!

No. This has nothing to do with sex. But it does have something to do with our power exchange. Lion is right that I hold onto things rather than make waves. But, in this case, I think I’m right too. There’s no reason to punish Lion for not setting up the coffee pot if he can’t get to it, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s a little thing. There’s no reason to punish him for asking that the mirror be left in a certain position, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s also a little thing.

The problem, of course, is when the little things add up. Do I punish him because this one tiny thing, added to the list of other tiny things, pushed me over the edge? I say no. Lion will undoubtedly say yes. Whatever he did that annoyed me should be punished. Period. I’m still grappling with that. It’s been very difficult for me.

[Lion — I know this is tough for my lioness. I’m sorry]

Yesterday, I was undecided about locking Lion up when the cage arrived or waiting until after we played last night. Our Ring doorbell announced someone at the front door as I was writing my post. I told Lion when my post was ready for him to read then I went to retrieve the package from the porch. It was the cage. Lion hadn’t read my post yet. He was in a hurry to take pictures of the cage. Initially, I thought he was going to just take a picture of it, but then he wanted it on him to take the picture.

I was conflicted. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to lock him up right away or not. Why did he need it on right that second? As I’m sure you’ve guessed, it’s hard to stop a bulldozing Lion. I mean, I guess I could have told him to back the train up. He’s not in charge. Instead, I put the cage on him for the pictures. Afterward, he asked if I wanted it left on or not. Well, it’s kind of late for that decision. It’s already on. It might as well stay on. And, I thought, since he’s made the decision for me, maybe it should stay on until Sunday.

It turns out that I didn’t need to unlock him anyway. My tummy was in charge and it said run to the bathroom every so often. I’m never sure what pisses it off but it dictates activities for a while. We ate our standard noodles-for-upset-tummy dinner and I waited to see if all hell would break loose. Obviously, I didn’t want to be sucking Lion and suddenly need to make a run for it so we didn’t do anything. Lion snoozed a bit. I was feeling a little better but if the day had taught me anything, that could change at a moment’s notice.

Lion asked if I like the cage. Actually, he asked if I like him in the cage. Then he said I probably don’t even notice. That’s true, but I don’t notice the pinky finger on his left hand unless I happen to be looking at it. I don’t tend to notice his balls unless they’re hanging down when he bends over. I wonder how much he notices about me. I know it’s more difficult now that his vision has deteriorated, but did he ever really notice my boobs or butt on a somewhat regular basis? [Lion comments — I did and still do!] When we walk up to each other from behind we do tend to rub each other’s butts rather than draping an arm around each other. The cage is small, comparatively. I don’t notice it unless I notice it.

Realistically, I usually only notice it when I go to play with my weenie and find it’s locked away. Normally that annoys me. I want my weenie accessible when I want my weenie accessible. Dammit! It’s my weenie. Now I have to find the keys (which aren’t hidden because I don’t know what I did with the lockbox now and unlocking the things used to unlock my weenie is particularly annoying) and unlock him which ruins (for me) any kind of mood I was trying to run with. That’s what happens when I forget the cage is on. When I remember, it’s less annoying.

I understand Lion’s wanting to be caged. Well, as much as Lion understands it. It’s a bondage/power thing. I’m in charge and I’m stopping him from playing with himself. He doesn’t have permission to play with himself. The cage is the guard making sure no one tries to break in. Of course, it also keeps me out until I unlock him. Is it possible the cage really holds the power?

lion spanked by heart paddle

Things are a little different around here. I’m not claiming that Mrs. Lion has morphed into lioness 4.0. It’s nothing that drastic. But there is a change that I sense. It’s subtle and I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion is even consciously aware of it. Let me explain. Most every night, Mrs. Lion will come over and snuggle with me and will tease me sexually. Until recently, she teased me until I reached the edge of orgasm several times. In the last few weeks, it’s been very difficult to get me to the edge. I can’t explain it, but it’s been very difficult. In the last week or so, she stopped trying. Essentially, she played with my penis, or should I say her weenie, for a while until she decided she was done.

She stopped worrying about whether or not I reached the edge. Her recent program of oral stimulation follows the same pattern. She gets me very excited and stops whenever she decides she’s done enough. The big change is that she doesn’t worry about my reaction.

At the same time, she’s been taking a more matter-of-fact view of discipline. Most recently, I forgot to do one of my chores: I didn’t get the coffeepot set up for the next morning. I also forgot to remind her that Saturday was a punishment day. In a very ordinary, routine way, after her shower on Sunday night, Mrs. Lion told me to get into position to be spanked. She got her paddle and proceeded. She stopped for a bit because there was some blood. It turned out it was just a couple of tiny spots, so she continued.

Before she started, she moved my punishment stool into a corner near the bedroom. After my spanking she told me to go sit on my stool facing the corner. She was kind this time because she removed the coir welcome mat from the stool. I just had to sit on rough, stair tread tape. She made me stay there for a very uncomfortable 10 minutes. When I got up she commented that my butt was very red. I could feel the heat.

My point is that she treats this is a routine part of her day. It gives me a sense that she has internalized her disciplinary role. Additionally, as you may have noticed in a recent post, she told me I was a bad boy. In an email yesterday, I referenced the fact that it hurt to sit down. She replied that was because I was a bad boy. I wrote back that I would try hard to be good.

I like this change. I don’t think Mrs. Lion perceives me differently. I just think that she’s more fully into her role. All of us play different roles in life. These roles aren’t fake the way actors create characters in a play. They are the way we relate to each other and to different situations. For example, in terms of my relationship with Mrs. Lion, she is my disciplining wife. That means wherever she chooses to impose rules, I must follow them. Failing to follow them results in punishment. At other times I am her husband and partner.

These roles exist in parallel. I can be offering my opinion and acting as Mrs. Lion’s partner and then, I say something that crosses a line. At that point Mrs. Lion’s disciplining wife role surfaces and she disciplines me. It’s not very complex at all. It just takes time, patience and a lot of love to make it work.

Mrs. Lion and I were talking about spanking on Sunday night. She had patted my bottom gently and commented that was probably harder than my first spanking from her. I asked her why she was so gentle that first time. She told me that she didn’t want to hurt me. It’s taken a lot of years for her to change her approach. Now, when she spanks me she wants to hurt me. She knows that it’s necessary for me to feel her displeasure. Her focus is on the technique to most effectively give me a sore bottom that will continue hurting for a day or two afterward.

It’s not that she likes to hurt me. She’s learned that she has to spank me with enough intensity to deter me from future infractions. A good example of this is my continuing problem with remembering Saturday punishment day. Normally, forgetting that I should remind her would get me one of those little funishments. However, I have forgotten at least three out of the last five weeks. She felt that a more meaningful punishment was called for. So, I got spanked.

That spanking made a real impression on me. I can tell you that I made a special point of reminding her that Monday was punishment day and first thing Monday morning I set up the coffee pot for Tuesday. I consider this very fair. After all, I’ve been asking Mrs. Lion to be completely consistent in terms of helping me improve my behavior. She has worked hard to do this. Shouldn’t I work equally hard to do the things she wishes? I think so. My penalty for failing is physically painful. Hers is probably more severe; she feels guilty for not doing what she knows I need.

We both have very positive incentives as well. She lets me know she’s pleased when I’m a good boy. I know she feels good when she sees how happy she makes me in her role as my disciplining wife.

The biggest change is that all of this used to be more artificial like a BDSM scene. It didn’t feel to me like it was a normal part of our lives. It was something that Mrs. Lion did because she knew I wanted it. Her role felt divided from her normal day-to-day behavior. Now, it doesn’t feel that way anymore. She’s my disciplining wife all the time as well as being my partner and lover. Just as sexual control has become a natural part of our lives, I think that our disciplinary relationship has reached that level as well.

I’m not claiming that we’ve arrived. Mrs. Lion still has to work on letting me know when I say things that annoy her. We still have to integrate administration of punishment more smoothly into our lives. Right now, it’s a sort of event that happens many hours after the offense. I think eventually we will reach the point when Mrs. Lion will just lead me into the bedroom after I say something or do something wrong, tell me to assume the position, and administer my punishment. I don’t know how far we are from that step. I think when she does that, we’ve reached lioness 4.0. I think that will be when she has completely integrated her role as disciplining wife into her day to day activities.

There are two steps before she reaches that point. The first is becoming aware of and reacting to things that annoy her. Up until now, she simply growls a little if she has any reaction at all. When she begins letting me know what I’ve been doing in a more disciplinary way, I believe that we will both experience another change. This change will be very positive for me. Just as I learned to keep assigned chores top of mind, I will become much more consciously aware of the way I speak to her. I think it will overflow into the way I speak to others as well. I will learn to be much more respectful and polite. I’m not going to like it in the beginning, but I believe it will make me a better person.

hairless arm pits and nipples
Here I am, freshly waxed. I don’t think my hairless pits and nipples look effeminate.

While I think I will always be concerned about people discovering that I wear a male chastity device, I’m no longer self-conscious about shedding my body hair. Apparently, the world has become much more tolerant of male body grooming. There are quite a few products aimed at helping guys remove hair.

I have an obvious interest in the subject since I have been removing body hair for many years. If you’re wondering what this has to do with enforced male chastity, let me explain. Male chastity represents a significant deviation from the stereotypical view of the male. We are supposed to be sexually aggressive and in control of sexual situations. While we are expected to be considerate and obtain permission to mount a female, we are to be the initiators. Women have the absolute right to say no, but they aren’t expected to initiate sexual activity.

Obviously, if a woman locks her partner’s penis in a chastity device and keeps the key, she has the exclusive right to initiate or withhold sex. This is not the norm, but the practice is clearly gaining popularity. Even without the hardware, it appears that initiating sex has become more democratic. While it may not be encouraged, female initiation is certainly acceptable.

In the 70s and 80s, this wasn’t the case. Traditional, male-dominant mating behavior was the overwhelming practice. Also, men didn’t remove or trim body hair. Sure, there were exceptions, me being one of them, but modified body hair was rare enough to draw disapproving stares when encountered.

There was a general sense that male grooming, particularly removal of body hair was effeminate. After all, women removed body hair to make themselves more appealing to men. Since women were expected to accept men au naturel, any mail attempt at grooming couldn’t be intended to appeal to women.

As women’s liberation extended to more and more people, I think that women began to feel free to express preferences regarding male grooming. For the record, the first woman I bottomed to, tied me down and shaved my pubic hair telling me she really didn’t like hairy men. She also shaved my underarms. I found that scandalous.

She didn’t attempt to rationalize her actions. Later, much later, she said that men didn’t like women with hairy pits and pubes, why shouldn’t women have a similar preference? Mrs. Lion has made it clear that she has no preference in terms of my personal grooming. I’ve learned to prefer myself hair free. In fairness to her, she is neutral on the subject of me wearing a chastity device. That doesn’t mean she has no strong feelings about me and sex. Just that she doesn’t care whether I use a mechanical device to prevent masturbation or just use willpower to prevent it. She understands I find wearing a chastity device exciting and is happy to indulge my kink.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. Since I’ve expressed my desire to be locked in a chastity device, she will enforce my choice. From the very start she made it clear that if I say I want to be locked up, I will be locked up and I don’t get to change my mind.

Due to the recent health issues I’ve had, I’ve been allowed to be wild. Mrs. Lion has not required me to wear my device. We haven’t had that “talk” yet where she will resume the hard line requiring 24/7 device wearing. I have the feeling that the time has come for that.

I do enjoy times when I’m allowed to be wild. During those times I can have erections. Obviously, when locked up, erections are impossible. On Saturday night Mrs. Lion unlocked me and attempted to edge me. I had no luck getting particularly excited. I don’t understand why this happened. I wonder if it’s tied to the stricter chastity device regime. Since she is showing no sign of leaving my device off, we’ll see if my ability to get to the edge returns even though I’m caged.

Meanwhile, she’s removed all of my body hair, other than my arms. She waxes me. There is a very nice side effect to being waxed. The hair grows back is finer and sparser. Even though it’s been several months since she’s waxed my chest and legs, they don’t look nearly as hairy as they did before she began waxing me.

Waxing is difficult for her. I really appreciate her efforts to keep me bare. I’ve grown to really enjoy the hairless look. I don’t think I can be mistaken for a female just because my body hair is gone. Thankfully, in 2019 most guys wouldn’t be overly disturbed in the presence of a hairless lion. I imagine that most women rather like the look.

Male submission, on the other hand, is not widely considered acceptable. Apparently social norms change more slowly than fashion. Even well established dominant women are careful about being too overt in front of the general public. Both within and outside of the BDSM community, female-dominant behavior is considered kinky.

There have been some inroads. It’s no longer considered strange if a woman picks up the check in a restaurant. 20 years ago such behavior would have drawn unfavorable attention. Popular women’s magazines feature articles on female-dominant activities like pegging and spanking. Yes, they are discussed in terms of being bedroom games, but that doesn’t matter. The general public is being educated on how to do very dominant things to men.

I’ve often referred to the fact that study after study reveals that more than 80% of both men and women fantasize about spanking and being spanked. Articles about spanking appear regularly in mainstream magazines. Look at how popular “50 Shades of Gray” has been. That story featured a male-dominant theme. However, it treated sensation play and BDSM in general as something central to the theme. The public ate it up.

It’s not surprising that those of us who practice male chastity often adopt other power-related activities. Female sexual dominance has definitely entered the mainstream. Wearing a chastity device may be a fringe, kinky practice. But spanking, pegging, and taking the sexual initiative is definitely a mainstream female practice. We live in marvelous times!