Over the years, I’ve seen many ideas on how to automate a power exchange. They range from random number generators to determine time locked in a male chastity device to mechanical spinners that point to specific punishments or penalties. Games are invented that provide penalties for the submissive partner. We have played a few (Spankardy, Zapardy, and our NFL spanking game).

The reason for this is to provide frequent reminders of the power exchange. Most couples aren’t hardwired to maintain the female-led model. Both partners need frequent reminders of their roles. Unfortunately, almost all ideas on how to do this come from the male partner. It isn’t a case of topping from the bottom, as it is a cry for help.

I feel it myself. Unless I break one of my very few rules, there is no demonstration of Mrs. Lion’s power. Neither of us wants to have her micromanage my life. She doesn’t have the time or inclination. So, how can she remind me of her role without expending too much energy?

One way is the obvious one that got us started in all this: locking me in a male chastity device. That takes little energy on her part and reminds me constantly of who is in charge. The problem with that is it’s a passive solution. Mrs. Lion isn’t reinforced in her role by me being locked in a male chastity device. She isn’t interested in sex, and I know she doesn’t pay much attention to my penis. I spent years locked up, so the impact of wearing a male chastity device isn’t very powerful for me, either.

Passive domination like male chastity devices or forced feminization (panties) is useful only if both partners are actively involved in the process. For example, if Mrs. Lion selects and presents panties for me to wear, it is active domination. Our roles are being reinforced. If, on the other hand, I’m just told to wear panties, the effect is minimal on her and not very powerful to me either. It’s her active control that matters.

That’s why behavioral rules only work when there is active supervision and enforcement. If something is intended to be a bit humiliating, then comments to reinforce that humiliation are needed. Unless Mrs. Lion points them out to me, I’ll forget if I’m put in panties because after a while they feel like any other underwear I might wear. It’s only when I’m reminded of the fact that I’m forced to wear female undies is the exercise useful.

Spanking has turned out to be the only powerful reminder of our relative roles. Nothing else has remained a regular part of our lives. That’s not to say that something else couldn’t,k but at this point it’s the go-to activity in our FLR lifestyle. I’m OK with that. It works for both of us. The more frequently Mrs. Lion paddles me, the more aware we are of our roles.

spanking paddle on refrigerator

Obviously, if Mrs. Lion is going to spank me much more frequently, she may need to consider some alternatives to our ten-minute full-scale punishments. In the past, she made use of the kitchen paddle. She would have me bend over the counter for some painful swats. That’s just one example. We have enough paddles for her always to have one within easy reach.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that spanking is the best choice for us. It’s humiliating and lets both of us know who is in charge. It has a lasting effect to remind me of Mrs. Lion’s power over me. That’s not to say that other, less painful choices aren’t useful too. I think we have to look for as many opportunities for Mrs. Lion to actively express her power as we can.

The key for us to keep a healthy FLR is active domination. Authority that isn’t exercised disappears rapidly. It’s too easy to let things slip. Domination is like vegetables It’s easy to make dinner with just meat, but it’s not healthy to ignore the greens. The same thing is true with a power exchange. It’s easy to acknowledge that we have one and occasionally bring out the paddle for punishment. That works, but doing that neglects the emotional and sexual nurishment that an active power exchange provides. I really need a more balanced diet.

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  1. Once again I totally agree. When I lock myself in a chastity device and my wife has no interest it is not much fun for me to just be uncomfortable. I liked panties so much that I wear them all the time. I still like them, but the thrill is just not there when I wear them every day and my wife is not aware. I have often tried to encourage her to do things that take very little effort on her part to give me a little thrill. One thing I get participation from he is inspecting genitals when I am ready to do dishes as I made that a think for me to always wear some sort of restraint, device or even just a brass ring ( or up to five) around the base of my cock and balls. I always get a humiliated thrill out of pulling my pants down in the kitchen for her “inspection”.

    1. Author

      I don’t particularly like wearing panties. Like you, my excitement comes from Mrs. Lion making me wear them. When she doesn’t notice or care,neither do I. Your daily inspection sounds like a nice time for you two to connect.

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