I had no idea we’d been practicing male chastity for eight years. I have a hard time believing we’ve been together for almost twenty years. It makes perfect sense when you do the math, but where does the time go? I won’t say every aspect of male chastity is perfect, but it’s been great overall. Two things that stick out in my mind that aren’t so good are Lion’s inability to maintain an erection when he’s standing and my inability to give him as much attention as he’d like. The standing erection only really mattered when I wanted sex. I enjoyed anal sex. My failure to provide him with attention is less of an inability and more of a failing.
While I still don’t think it has anything to do with my not wanting sex, I tend not to make sex for him a priority. I used to. He got sex every night. He got an orgasm every night. As married couples do, we slowed down. Lion wouldn’t ask for sex. He didn’t want to be rejected. I guess I got tired of always being the one initiating, so I stopped asking too. Sex became a once-a-week or so activity. Eventually, Lion proposed male chastity.
When Lion gets an idea in his head, he runs with it. I mean, he reads everything he can find, he buys any toys or equipment needed to explore it fully, and he talks about it incessantly. If he discovers a new paddle, we have it in every possible configuration. Enemas? Let’s buy a case. More is better. Usually, we explored those things for a while, and they died off. So when he suggested male chastity, I assumed the same would happen. Ha!
When he explained that he’d been feeling neglected, I felt horrible and knew I had to change things. Male chastity or not, Lion needed more attention. It just so happens that male chastity pretty much requires more attention. True, it doesn’t provide as many orgasms as he might have liked, but if he was looking for attention, he was going to get it. Fairly early on, we decided I should unlock him and tease him at least every other night. I have a habit of allowing inertia to take over. I could easily have left him locked up for days without really thinking about it.
The first thing I asked Lion to do was masturbate for me. I wanted to see his technique so I could try to imitate it. If anyone knew how to arouse him and give him an orgasm, it would be him. Then I locked him up and told him he wasn’t allowed to touch himself again. The second thing I did was give him an orgasm every night. Hmmm…doesn’t male chastity mean less sex? I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was because he’d gotten an orgasm every night when we first started living together, and I was trying to right the ship. Maybe it was because I felt bad that I’d neglected him for so long. Whatever the reason, it became clear that Lion couldn’t maintain an orgasm a night for more than a week. But at least he had fun along the way.
It took a while, but we got into a rhythm, and all was right with the world. He had fairly reasonable wait times. I made him wait for an agonizing 28 days once. At a certain point, he stopped being as horny as he was in the beginning. He was harder to arouse. We figured out he has a sweet spot of four to seven days. He tends to be horny within that window. Not that he’s not horny other times. He’s just reliably horny then.
We’ve been through a lot in those eight years. Lion has had multiple surgeries, some of which have left him less able to do things. We’ve speculated that my having to do more around the house has left me stressed out. Truth be told, I’m wondering if I never recovered from our move a few years ago. That was incredibly stressful for both of us. It might have been the beginning of the end for me in terms of having enough energy to give Lion attention. What I need to do is to go back to my original self-imposed every-other-day rule. If Lion is up for attention, he should get it every other day. It’s too easy for me to wallow in inertia. Who knows? Maybe it will help my stress level if I focus more on keeping to a play schedule.
You know me. I’m always up for an experiment.