I got a fortune cookie many years ago that said, “The secret of patience is finding something to do in the meantime.” This little message has been a huge help to me over the years. This isn’t easy to do when it comes to sex. In 2017 I wrote (“Maybe Tomorrow”) that BDSM and edging helped distract me from the joys of ejaculation. By then, I was pretty used to rationed orgasms. Now, after four more years have passed, I’ve pretty much forgotten what sex-on-demand is like.

No, I’m not saying that I always got sex whenever I wanted it. When a partner wasn’t available, my trusty left hand was always there. That ended in 2013 when Mrs. Lion told me that I couldn’t jerk off again. She prevented me from cheating and trained me by keeping me locked in a male chastity device for over three years. The last time I jerked off was in December 2013.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get myself off. I get horny, and Mrs. Lion isn’t about to get me off. At times like those, I fondly remember my halcyon days of self-abuse. There is a big difference between the lion of 2013 and today. I’ve stopped expecting orgasms. I get one on average every two weeks (2021 average). I want more, but I don’t expect them.

Orgasm on demand is a topic with a big divide between men and women; at least, I think it is. Women regularly tease us for our constant need to get off. Some women, like Mrs. Lion, make sure we want to get off by edging us regularly. The divide is real for a very good reason: Female orgasms are the peak of a slowly building wave of pleasure. A woman can have a lot of fun without getting over the top. On the other hand, men don’t start having real fun until they are within seconds of ejaculating.

This suits a biological purpose. Women need to have fun to welcome a penis. An orgasm isn’t required to get pregnant. Men have to experience an orgasm to ejaculate. We, males, are wired to have real fun only when we ejaculate. It serves nature’s needs. This difference in experience explains why most guys define sex in terms of orgasms. Women have a much richer sexual vocabulary. I think that male chastity teaches our female partners how big the gap is between the sexes.

Male chastity exploits our male need to ejaculate. The combination of a device that prevents masturbation with regular sexual teasing without orgasm drives us wild, at least in the beginning. At the very least, it sets up a sexual dependence that most males never experience. When we lose the ability to jerk off, we are dependent on our partners for release. If I’m grumpy because I’m horny, I can’t do anything to improve my mood.

Male chastity has taught me to be patient about sex without having something else to do in the meantime. Ironically, after eight years of this, I’m still not happy about waiting.

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