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In: Anal play

My latest experiment involves my anxiety meds. With the help of my doctor, I will start weaning myself off of the drug that may be causing my libido issues. It’s worth a shot. If it doesn’t work, or if I get too crazed being off it. I suspect, if I go off it slowly, it will be okay. If I suddenly morph into Lioness 7.0, maybe I need to be back on the meds.

I realized after I wrote my post yesterday, that Lion and I had discussed using the glass butt plug again, only this time I’d start with the larger end. I wasn’t going to jump right to the larger butt plug. However, I decided to give him a night off since he’d just had an orgasm. I reasoned that he wouldn’t necessarily want anything up his ass if he wasn’t even mildly horny to begin with. Instead, we snuggled and watched TV.

As we were about halfway through Jeopardy, Lion said it’s been a while since we’ve played Spankardy. I might have to pencil him in for a night or two in the coming weeks. He doesn’t earn very many swats when we play. I’ll have to revamp the rules or maybe just make those few swats count. I could do a warm up and then start counting.

I have a sinus headache. I’m not sure what we’ll accomplish today. I know we have an errand to run either today or tomorrow. I’m hoping I’ll feel better later and we can do some more anal training.

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In: Anal play

Thursday night turned out very well. Mrs. Lion decided to begin anal training. She used the bumpy glass dildo. I was able to handle the first four bubbles (bumps) easily. She took her time and moved it in and out. I didn’t feel any sudden changes, even though the bubbles caused my anus to expand and contract. My lioness was surprised at how well I managed to accept her insertions. I’m sure that the next session will include the fifth bubble, and the motion will be stronger.

In our first session Mrs. Lion moved the first four bumps in and out.

I’m happy that I was able to handle this dildo. We’ve learned that a key area of anal training is learning to accept changing size. I thought that gradual stretching was the key. At one point, Mrs. Lion was able to insert a two-inch-thick dildo. I was able to hold it, but moving it was another story. That’s when I researched and discovered that the best way to train for pegging is to work with something that changes diameter. A butt plug is a good choice. The bubble dildo works well too. It forces me to open and then start to close, only to be opened again.

I accepted the two-inch dildo but couldn’t managed being pegged with it.

The reason this training is effective isn’t obvious but makes sense once you think about it. The key is learning to relax the anus. Inserting the large diameter dildo appears to do this. Certainly, I learned to accept it. Motion didn’t work because I wasn’t really relaxed. Training with moving a butt plug in and out (or the bubble dildo) teaches me to relax. It’s very uncomfortable to accept something that is getting larger if the anus is resisting. If it relaxes, the object goes in (and out) without discomfort.

Over time this training will allow voluntary control of the anal muscles.  When presented with an object pressing in, it learns to relax and accept it. There is the mistaken idea that anal training stretches the anus. It doesn’t. It simply trains it to relax. The key to successful pegging or even fisting is to learn to stay relaxed once the activity begins. That’s the hard part.

I did a little research to get an idea of how this works. This link is to a video that shows what I mean. A woman is fisting the man. Note the extreme amount of lube. That’s key. You can’t use too much lube in anal play. His anus remains relaxed and open. Before the shooting began, he was gradually opened. Even though his rear is stretched so wide, it will return to a tight bud a few minutes after the play is over. He has learned to relax. It doesn’t mean he has lost control. It’s just an acquired skill.

Mrs. Lion has attempted to fist me. At one point, she got four fingers in. Now that we know the trick to training me, I’m sure it won’t be long before she can get her entire hand in.

By:
In: Anal play, Orgasm

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that Lion took the glass anal toy in so far last night. I got about four of the bumps in easily. Even as I was moving it in and out, he didn’t seem to have any discomfort. I asked if he felt it, and he said he felt something. I think the difference between the bumps and the non-bumps isn’t much. The other butt plug I got will be much different. First of all, it’s much bigger. Then there’s a big difference between the bumps and non-bumps. Big. And, as Lion pointed out last night, that isn’t even the big version of that toy. It’s actually the small version, and it looks pretty daunting.

Once I was done with his posterior, I went to work on the anterior. My weenie responded quickly. I was somewhat surprised given Lion’s issues lately. I sat up and started giving him a hand job. At one point, I thought he was starting to lose it and asked if he thought we were done. It’s a valid question, especially so close to an orgasm. He wasn’t done. And eventually, I asked if he wanted me to suck him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say yes so quickly. He practically jumped into position. I’m glad he was so horny.

Lion doesn’t normally stay completely hard throughout the entire show. Maybe he used to, but not anymore. I always wonder if he’s done. I don’t stop until he tells me he’s done or if I’m done. It’s funny that he wrote about not making any noise during sex. He’s almost silent. Occasionally he moans a little or inhales sharply, so I know I’m doing something right. He also changes the angle of his pelvis when he’s pretty close. I was fighting off a cramp in my leg, and I was about to stop, but then his position changed, and I knew we were on our way.

When he was having some trouble staying erect or even feeling horny, we started an experiment of having an orgasm every chance he could. We thought maybe it would prime the pump, so to speak. I wasn’t sure if he was expecting to come or not. When I say “expecting,” I mean did he think we were still experimenting. We never talked about stopping it. I know he never really expects an orgasm. He may anticipate it or hope for one, but there’s never any guarantee.

On the other hand, I can give him an orgasm whenever I damn well feel like it. Except for a day or two after an orgasm, of course. Even if I had decided we were no longer experimenting. I could have surprised him. I could have edged him a few times to build up the intensity. However, he seems to have a hair-trigger again. If I stop at the wrong point, I risk giving him a ruined orgasm. Who wants that? Not us. So I’ve been continuing. Last night I was rewarded with Lion cream filling. Yum!

After work, I have a doctor’s appointment to discuss weaning off the anxiety meds to improve my libido. Lion needs a haircut. He says he’s looking shaggy. I’d wait till he looks like Scooby-Doo, but he’d hate that, so I’ll give him a buzz cut when I get home. And tonight might be a bigger butt plug night. I wonder if he’ll be able to take it.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

Wednesday night, I got a “just because” spanking. Mrs. Lion wanted to explore using her new yoga pillow. She also wanted to work on her technique to spank my most tender spots: the soft skin inside my crack and the tender area on the inside of my thighs. She has the small, blue for that. Overall, the spanking was painful but mercifully short. Her “inside” work with the blue paddle didn’t hurt much. I think she’s still working on how to swat those areas.

Generally, I yelp when she connects solidly with my posterior. Those are the only sounds I tend to make. It occurred to me that maybe we are missing a useful element of the spanking process. I may be overthinking this, but it seems to me that an essential element might be amplifying the humiliation of getting a bare-bottom spanking. What I mean is that, for the most part, Mrs. Lion disregards any sounds I make. She goes about her business punishing me in silence.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Domestic discipline’s whole point is to make me learn through pain that I need to obey my lioness consistently. Sometimes, I think she stops a little early. Let me clarify. After the spanking is over, I sometimes think she probably should’ve spanked me longer. I never think that while she is beating my bottom.

begging for orgasms

A long time ago, a girlfriend decided I was entirely too quiet during sex. She liked verbal feedback. I was not enthusiastic about providing it. One afternoon, she started jerking me off. Once she had me very excited, she told me that she would only continue if I told her how much I wanted her to keep it up. At first, I was pretty lame. You know, “oh boy, oh boy, this feels good.” She knew I would quickly learn. When I was very close, she stopped and said, “You can do better than that.” I was in no shape to disagree. I began begging her to please keep playing with my cock. She did only as long as I kept sincerely telling her how much I wanted it.

It felt silly to me when I did it. She knew it would. She also knew that I would eventually learn to do this more naturally. Making me tell her how much I liked what was happening became a condition of sex. If I got quiet, she would stop. Eventually, I learned to be a little noisier during sex. I think I liked the slight humiliation the process included.

if i’m not begging her to stop, i must need more swats

It occurred to me that maybe both Mrs. Lion and I need to become more verbal during discipline sessions. It’s not natural for either of us. Feedback is beneficial. Mrs. Lion is starting to realize this and sometimes lets me know that she’s just warming me up. However, aside from asking me if I’m ready after she’s paddled me for a while, she doesn’t say, “Now we will get started with the real spanking.” I think that would have a big effect on me.

For my part, I would think that it would be useful to keep me from withdrawing into myself during a spanking. After all, spanking is a conversation of sorts. I remember that Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com says that a key part of any spanking she delivers is getting her husband to beg her to stop. I know she means real begging, not the sort of, “Oh, please stop Mistress,” stuff. She wants real begging and pleading. I’ve basically disregarded that since it’s something I don’t want to do. I think that it’s useful. For one thing, Mrs. Lion would know I don’t like doing that, and sincere begging would only come when I’m getting truly desperate.

This gives her some idea of how successful her spanking is. More importantly, it’s an opportunity to verbally interact during the punishment. We’ve tended to skip the “scolding” aspect of spanking. Neither of us is very verbal that way. Maybe we should try adding words. I’m not saying that when I start to beg earnestly enough, Mrs. Lion should stop punishing me. She should continue until she’s decided I’ve had enough. But, maybe a condition of even thinking about stopping is when I’m sincerely and humbly begging forgiveness.

I’ve been hesitating as I write this because I absolutely won’t like it one little bit if she makes me do it. I also know that I will do it if it helps end the spanking. It’s the polar opposite of my earlier jerk-off training. That training worked because I really wanted an orgasm. This training will work because I want the spanking to end.

It isn’t so much that the begging will amplify the punishment’s value, even though it will. It’s more that Mrs. Lion and I are actively communicating during punishment. There is something about having to beg and knowing that the begging is required, but it still gives me no extra control, which adds an extra humiliating dimension to being spanked. There is a lot of value to adding verbal to the strong non-verbal communication during a spanking.