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In: Domestic discipline
This is the source of most of my spankings.

Yesterday, my post was about our disciplinary relationship being a pressure relief valve for Mrs. Lion. When I write things like that, she generally rolls her eyes at me. I don’t think she believes that. Her usual stated reason for spanking me is because I want her to do it. It’s true; I do. That doesn’t mean there aren’t other good reasons for doing it.

My failure to set up the coffee pot is a perfect example. Let’s say that we have a “normal” marriage. We get up every weekday morning at 6:30. I forget to set up the coffee pot the day before. Mrs. Lion, bleary-eyed, walks into the kitchen and discovers it. Grumbling to herself, she sets it up. What happens next? Nothing. She takes care of the problem and continues with her morning activities. A few days later, I forget again. She grumbles to herself and sets it up.

I try hard to remember to do it, but sometimes I break my normal daily routine, and the coffee pot stays in the dish drainer. Over time, Mrs. Lion gets more and more annoyed that I can’t take care of a simple chore. At some point, she will bring it up and tell me that I forgot. I apologize and promise to do better. A week goes by, and I forget again. You can see where this is going.

Mrs. Lion realizes that this is a small matter. As a rational woman, she tells herself that it isn’t worth a blowup over something this trivial. So, she grits her teeth and does the chore herself. There are two problems here: The first is that I’m not conscientious enough about a small task that makes my lioness’s life easier. The second is that she has nowhere to go with her feelings about my failures. I suppose she could do a typical sitcom wife move like saying, “If you loved me, you would take care of the coffee pot!” She would never do that.

A lot of people will say that something as extreme as punishing me for forgetting is childish. Grownups should resolve this kind of thing in a mature manner. What is that manner? Talk!

Talk? You mean to hold a meeting to express grievances and extract promises of improvement? Yup, that’s the mature way to deal with domestic issues. Does a discussion like that provide closure? From my experience, such a discussion usually ends with the complaining wife feeling unheard and her husband feeling nagged. If the coffee pot is forgotten again after this meeting, the wife will feel worse than she would if she didn’t call that meeting.

I’m not saying that you can’t work out problems by discussing them. It’s certainly possible. I’m suggesting that discussions are very unlikely to resolve the trivial issues that build up into irrational anger. Punishment, on the other hand, provides immediate negative feedback for not completing the chore. Spanking, for example, is safe physical pain administered by the injured party. The equation is simple: Fail to do the chore, get a painful spanking. There are no meetings, no guilt-inducing cold shoulders, just a sore bottom.

Punishment works when there is a direct cause and effect relationship between the behavior and the spanking. Interrupt Mrs. Lion and get spanked. Not do a chore, get spanked—clear and easy causes. I don’t think spanking works with more complex problems. For example, drinking too much might be a spankable offense. The chances are that a hairbrush or paddle won’t cure the problem. That’s because the underlying issue isn’t simple carelessness or thoughtlessness. There isn’t a clear cause-and-effect relationship.

You could say there is. Drink too much, get spanked. Clear, right? Well, not so much. Drinking isn’t the cause. It’s the result of a deeper problem. That’s why Alcohol Anonymous is needed. Now, skipping an AA meeting could earn a spanking. That’s a clear cause-and-effect situation.

Anyway, I’m convinced that regardless of my sexual motive for wanting spankings, there is a significant benefit to our marriage. The reason it works is easy to understand. An unpleasant consequence when I slip up is a strong incentive to avoid getting in trouble. Sure, I’ll still forget. Each and every time I do, Mrs. Lion will spank me. That means each and every time, Mrs. Lion clearly communicates her displeasure. This activity doesn’t threaten our marriage. It makes it stronger. My willingness to be punished shows Mrs. Lion that I love her and trust her enough to correct me as she sees fit. Her willingness to correct me gives me a sense of security and the sure knowledge that she loves me and will go the extra mile to help me learn.

I don’t think domestic discipline is purely sexual or that it is kink. Sure, it’s sexy in one sense, but more importantly, it’s an alternative method of handling issues that could drive us apart. It may not be for everyone, but it is for us.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion wanted a professional haircut for my son’s wedding. I was not offended. I’ve only been cutting his hair because it hasn’t been safe to go out to get a haircut. Ordinarily, he shows up and waits. Neither of us thought he’d need an appointment. We had to wait until 5:45 for an appointment. No problem. We had other errands. We picked up his new sport coat from being altered. We got the dog’s prescription from Costco. We got Lion’s prescription from the grocery store. And then we waited fifteen minutes for his haircut.

By the time we got home and ate dinner, it was close to 8. Lion was under the blankets, and I don’t think either of us wanted to do anything. He’d spent a lot of the morning on the phone with vets about the dog and with pharmacies about eye drops he’s been trying to get the insurance to cover. I worked in the morning in addition to being on the phone with the vet. It was just a full day for both of us.

I think it was around 9:30 when Lion informed me he thought he might be horny. He knew it was too late for last night, but today is another day. As far as I know, we’ve completed all our errands. The rest of the weekend can be used for chores and getting ready for our trip. Oh, and sex for Lion. Whether or not that sex leads to an orgasm is entirely up to him. Of course, I have the ultimate say, but if he’s horny enough, he might just have one. Although he never begs for one, and that annoys me a little, I want to wait until he’s so horny he might consider doing so. He doesn’t beg because he doesn’t want to influence me. He doesn’t believe me that I won’t give him an orgasm just because he begs. I think it might be fun to deny him even if he begs. Oh well. For now, I’ll have to be content with his attempts at bucking, which mean pretty much the same thing as begging anyway.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

Mrs. Lion didn’t get to write a post yesterday. We had to run errands that interfered with her time. No post from her means no coming attractions, or should I say not-coming attractions, for me. Yesterday (Friday) was day 19 for me. It isn’t a particularly long time. I generally get to ejaculate by 14 days. I’m not complaining. My interest seems to have flagged a bit. Mrs. Lion tried to get me to the edge on Thursday night. I just wasn’t up to it. I hate it when my arousal isn’t consistent. I like consistency—a lot.

Mrs. Lion strives to be consistent with me. She succeeds. When I break a rule, I don’t even imagine I will escape punishment. Now that her spankings are truly fearsome, I regret my sins as soon as I’m aware I’ve committed them. The famous forgetting-to-set-up-the-coffee-pot sin draws the most spankings. Aside from helping me learn to remember, my punishments benefit Mrs. Lion too.

I’m pretty sure she won’t agree with this, but I’m convinced that being able to spank me when I forget defuses what otherwise could be one of those he-squeezes-the-toothpaste-from-the-middle-of-the-tube situations. She freely admits that it isn’t a big deal when setting up the coffee pot in the morning. It also annoys her when she has to interrupt her tightly scheduled breakfast routine to do it. If we didn’t have a disciplinary marriage, when I would forget the coffee pot, Mrs. Lion would tell me it was no big deal. The next time it would annoy her more, but she wouldn’t tell me.

Over time, little things would start being more and more annoying. At some point, one of those little things would tip the scale, and she would be angry and feel she had nowhere to go with it. It’s stuff like this that can poison a relationship. No matter how you feel about a wife spanking her husband, it serves as an excellent pressure relief valve. I do something annoying, and she blisters my bottom. She knows that if she makes it unpleasant enough, her punishment will teach me to correct my error.

Even if I stubbornly keep breaking a rule, administering painful consequences keeps relieving the pressure for her. Mrs. Lion knows that sooner or later, I will decide it is easier to remember my chores than endure a bottom blistering. As I learned the other day, forgetting too soon after my last punishment earns me more pain. My ten-minute spanking grew to fifteen due to my repeating my sin after only a few days.

Obviously, there is a reason I encourage Mrs. Lion to be my disciplinary wife. I like being spanked. At least, I like the idea of being spanked. I find it sexually arousing. I don’t particularly appreciate being punished. A couple of days (like now) after a spanking, I think back on it in a sexual way. It’s that sexual attraction and my stupidity that makes me get in position to be punished. Also, I know better than to resist. Inevitably, I will get worse later.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

Fifteen minutes can feel like forever. Don’t believe me? Try being on the receiving end of Mrs. Lion’s paddles. I was on Wednesday night. I got there because I forgot to set up the coffee pot on Tuesday. Mrs. Lion was particularly annoyed because I had forgotten the same chore just a few days before. She administered a ten-minute spanking for that. It was very painful, and the discomfort hadn’t quite disappeared on Wednesday.

She’s only recently adopted the long-form spankings. I had done some reading from the old Disciplinary Wives Club website. I learned that the standard DWC spanking lasted at least ten minutes. The club suggested that a timer be used to assure that the full measure of punishment is administered. It went on to say that if there is more than one offense, she should add five minutes for each one. They also pointed out that the spanking didn’t have to end when the timer went off. It just shouldn’t end before the timer sounds.

Mrs. Lion took this to heart. She decided that I didn’t get the message after my ten-minute spanking the first time I forgot to set up the coffee pot. So, she added five minutes on Wednesday. What a sweetheart! That’s a very long time when someone is doing her best to make your bottom hurt. Mine hurt plenty the entire time.

While she was beating me, I truly regretted forgetting my chore. I also considered asking Mrs. Lion to stop punishing me. It was just too much! I decided that I was getting exactly what I asked for: meaningful punishment. Since I like spanking when in a BDSM scene, to be useful, punishment has to clearly communicate that what is happening is not for my BDSM entertainment. I’m supposed to hate it enough to do anything to avoid a repeat performance. As Mrs. Lion has discovered, that’s a lot harder to do than you might think. Lioness 4.0 knows how to do it. I was very unhappy when she beat me. I still feel that spanking when I sit down.

It’s difficult to get even coverage. The center area is often missed.

From a technical perspective, it’s a little tricky to get even coverage. Mrs. Lion ends up delivering most of her damage to the sides of my cheeks. The center area is largely untouched (see image). There’s a reason for this. Due to the natural curve of the butt, a blow that is aimed at the crack will often deliver its real force to the near or far side, not the middle. This is due to the way the bottom deflects when struck. A paddle with a small striking surface makes this effect more pronounced.

I think there are two ways to provide pain to this neglected area. The first is to use a larger-faced paddle. It’s the greater surface area that will trap the elusive center flesh and allow it to receive its share of the pain. Another more difficult technique is to use a flexible paddle or strap. If it’s aimed, so the very end of the strap hits the crack, that center area will get its share. Most of the porn spankings are delivered with large-surfaced paddles. They produce an even red across the bottom. They also don’t hurt as much after a while. It’s more difficult to deliver the sort of force Mrs. Lion wants with a large paddle. When used at the beginning of a spanking, those paddles really sting. After a while, some numbness kicks in. That’s when changing to the vicious paddles is necessary.

Here I go again. I seem to want to keep making things worse for myself. As a former top and sex educator, it’s tough for me to resist offering help. I have to admit that I’ve created a monster. 4.0 is determined to deliver the best (translation: most painful) spanking she can.