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In: Domestic discipline

We lead such interesting lives! Seriously, we take for granted what a lot of folks consider very exotic. There’s one that even our readers find odd: domestic discipline. We’ve both written a lot about it. It’s a lot more subtle than you might think. For example, if I am subject to corporal discipline, what governs Mrs. Lion’s behavior? Is she perfect and never needs correction?

That is the implication a lot of BDSM, and even DD writing promotes. If that stuff is to be believed, I’m the naughty spouse in need of a spanking. My long-suffering wife uses her paddle to keep me under control. I suppose that in some respects, that’s true. I obviously need help in remembering chores and being respectful. What about her?

Mrs. Lion also forgets chores. She can interrupt me. Why shouldn’t she be punished too? Supposedly, in 1934 Dorothy Spenser created the Spencer Discipline Plan. It is an agreement a husband and wife make that subjects them both to spanking if needed. The idea was that bad behavior was to be punished with a spanking. Regardless of the pedigree, the idea is interesting-if-flawed. It’s a physical manifestation of “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” A couple agrees on what behavior needs punishment. When either party misbehaves, the other spouse spanks him or her.

It doesn’t seem to have caught on. Proponents claim it was wildly popular in the 1930s. I can’t find any real evidence of this. I think the base concept is seriously flawed. Someone in authority over another administers punishment. In a disciplinary sense, it’s just too hard to turn this into a sport between equals. Sure, if you are into BDSM and like to switch, trading spankings are good clean, fun. However, if you apply punishment in retribution for behavioral issues, switching doesn’t seem to work.

The Spencer system is more an expression of distrust than a serious attempt at marital harmony. It is saying that if you can spank me for being naughty, then I can spank you too. Believers say that this is the way for both partners to be held accountable. Based on our experience, one-way discipline is as much control on Mrs. Lion as it is on me.

Think of it this way. I am subject to punishment for misbehaving. Mrs. Lion isn’t punished if she misbehaves. She is a responsible person. She will be harder on herself than she is on me. She feels the obligation to be a role model. She also can’t escape the obvious fact that a power imbalance would be unfair if she used it to indulge herself at my expense.

It doesn’t matter whether the husband or wife is taken in hand. The important point is that one partner has the power to punish the other. The benefits accrue from this imbalance. Equality, or the illusion of it, encourages things to be static. Water flows downhill. It puddles on a level surface. Those puddles will stagnate over time. Emotions are the same—equality levels power. Anger and frustration aren’t easy to express. They are held in until they build up to the point they leak out, usually in destructive ways.

In a DD relationship, unhappiness on the part of the disciplining spouse is clearly expressed. She knows she is heard and felt. He is absolved from guilt by paying the (painful) price his spouse exacts. Balance is returned. Dorothy Spencer asked if the disciplining spouse does something that hurts her husband, what can he do with his feelings? Her answer was for him to spank her.

The reality is that in almost every relationship, there is a dominant partner. That partner has no problem expressing feelings. I am a pretty classic male. I have no trouble letting Mrs. Lion know when I am unhappy. She, on the other hand, tends to stuff her feelings until they leak out. If she becomes the disciplining spouse and exercises her power, she has a megaphone to express her feelings. I encourage her to use it. Over time, she learns to use her paddle. I learn to be a more considerate husband. We both win.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I am fighting sleep today. I don’t remember sleeping badly. I had energy earlier. It could just be the boring work I’m doing. I hope I get a second wind before I go home. I have things to do before our trip. Last night was the day after an orgasm. I don’t think Lion was looking for anything. I was tired yesterday too. I started to snooze after lunch and at around 9:30 last night. I don’t normally do that. As it was, I woke myself up by snoring. I haven’t been wearing the stupid CPAP. I’m sure it could help, if only it didn’t make me claustrophobic sometimes.

I’ll have to check the Lion weather report. I doubt he’s horny yet, but you never know. Sometimes he bounces back quicker than other times. I don’t think that’s been happening lately, though.

Can I tell you a tiny secret? Lion put the coffee pot together but didn’t set the program. I had to push the buttons. The horror! Of course, I’m not counting it against him. The hard part was done. There are times I make it out to the kitchen before the timer was set to go off, and I hit the buttons to do it early. I’ll bet Lion’s buns just gave a sigh of relief. No swats today–so far.

Lion made corned beef and cabbage for dinner. We both love it. We could eat that and turkey dinner many times throughout the year without complaint. While he was slicing the meat, he also sliced his finger. He didn’t notice right away. I saw blood dripping on the floor. I wasn’t sure if it was the dog or him at first. He’d just given her a piece of meat. Apparently, the new meat carver is so sharp, that it can slice through raw Lion meat in addition to cooked corned beef. I got him bandaged up so he could continue slicing. Just add Nurse Lioness to my other titles.

By:
In: Oral Sex

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, I got a great blow job that ended in a very powerful orgasm. It seems to me that my orgasms are getting more powerful lately. I can’t tell if I am sending out much semen. I feel powerful pulsations, but whether or not they are cream-filled eludes me. I didn’t remember such cataclysmic orgasms years ago. There were some seriously memorable ones over the years.

My first orgasm at the age of eleven was induced by another boy who went to my school. He might have been a grade ahead of me. I’m sure he was older. I have no idea how we both ended up naked. He used his hand, and I couldn’t believe the result. Nothing came out. I guess I was too young to produce anything. I was able to come over and over. It was amazing. That was the last time I saw him and my only gay experience, if you can call it that. After he taught me, I made good use of the knowledge. Nothing I did felt that good.

The second memorable one was when I had intercourse for the first time. It was also my first two-person sex. That was when I was 19. It was like that first experience being masturbated, only better. It felt like an electric shock went through me. It must be like the high that drugs give some people. I knew I wanted this feeling again and again.

The third was very different from the first two. It was my first experience with oral sex. It turned out that my first intercourse wasn’t exactly vaginal. It must have been between her labia. I discovered this when we tried to fuck the next time. We were more relaxed, and she had her legs much wider apart. I wasn’t able to penetrate her more than a couple of inches. Her hymen was not only intact; it was very tough. I didn’t want to push too hard and hurt her. That time we were both frustrated. We decided to do some research.

Neither of us had any sexual experience or education. We went to Barnes and Noble. At that time, there was only one on 18th street in Manhattan. They had a section with books for newlyweds. We found one that seemed to be quite complete. We bought two copies. Our assignment for each other was to find out what we could do.

We met at my place a couple of days later. I had a room in an old hotel on 69th Street. I lived there. It had a small kitchen and a bath. We were surprisingly brave. We kissed and undressed without delay. I guess she was as horny as me. When we took out our books, we discovered that we had both decided that oral sex was the next best thing. I went first and did quite well with her. She had several orgasms—her first. I guess our initial rendevous wasn’t as satisfying for her.

When it was my turn, she did very well. She didn’t seem to be uncomfortable with the idea of sucking my cock. When I came, she kept going until I was done. She did go into the bathroom to spit it out. Bad girl! The orgasm was very different for me. It was slower. It built up much more slowly than the ones I gave myself or the one I had when we tried intercourse. It was amazing! It turned out that she liked doing it. I didn’t ask why she didn’t swallow. I figured that I was lucky she let me come in her mouth. Oddly, it never occurred to either of us that we could masturbate one another. We went right to oral. I’m very glad.

The fourth memorable one occurred years later. It was my first anal experience. I mentioned to my girlfriend that I had never done that. I didn’t expect her to invite me to try. To my surprise, she said that she did that before. When she was in high school, she had a steady boyfriend. They didn’t have access to any birth control, so she let him fuck her anally. She invited me to try with her. She lubed me up, and as gently as possible, I entered her. It didn’t take very long for me to come. It was almost as intense as my first vaginal try all those years ago. I was blown away.

I never asked her to do that again. I don’t know why. It’s probably that I much preferred her vagina or mouth. I’ve always had a strong preference for blow jobs. I wonder if it is because my first sexual experiences were oral. Anyway, my current sex life is almost exclusively oral. I love it. Mrs. Lion gives truly great head. She can drive me crazy with her mouth.

By:
In: Oral Sex, Orgasm

Yesterday still managed to get away from me. I installed a Ring doorbell on our back door. UPS has decided to deliver some packages to the front and some to the back. The only explanation I can come up with is that two drivers are filling in for a recently-retired driver. I also installed a security camera. I was up and down the ladder quite a few times with that one. It covers more area than we want but what can you do.

After the up and down of the ladder, I settled in to vegetate on my computer. Lion asked me to do a few things. And then another. And then could I make the bed? I know he can’t do a lot around here, so it falls on me, and sometimes it frustrates me. Even when he’s working, he has a lot of time to screw around on the computer. I have too many people sitting near me now to do much screwing around. I have to save that for nights and weekends.

It was after 8 when we settled in to snuggle. Even then, I was up and down, letting the dog out and in and out and in. So when I finally got Lion all riled up, it must have been around 9. He took a little time to get hard, but I was going slow. Sometimes he thinks I’m rushing him. I’m not, but I was particularly “not rushing” last night. I tried to keep a steady pace close to his bucking speed. I may have gone a little faster. Eventually, I got him right to the edge and stopped. Awww, poor Lion. Then I started again and got him even closer.

Believe it or not, I was debating with myself whether or not to give him an orgasm. I know I talk a good game about making him so horny his balls are blue, but I really like giving him orgasms. Sometimes I want to take an orgasm, so I’ll charge right up the mountain and over the edge with no concern about how it feels for him. Is there such a thing as a bad orgasm? Other times, like last night, I want to build it up slowly and make him crave release.

I won’t say it was the biggest orgasm of his life. He produced more semen than his last orgasm, but still not a mouthful. I’m not sure there’s any correlation between the amount of semen produced and his horniness. Sometimes he gives me a mouthful when he’s not so horny, and other times the opposite is true. Good thing my reward is the wonderful sound he makes when he comes as well as the cream filling.

His wait was 20 days. For probably half of those days, he wasn’t horny at all. I was tired for some. He was tired for some. It wasn’t a 20-day edging festival like it might have been in the past. The result was the same, so it doesn’t really matter.