By:
In: Domestic discipline

Our six-month-old golden retriever puppy is causing both of us stress. She rarely pees inside the house. The problem is some puppy behavior. She likes to use her paws to get our attention. She will also jump at us when we try to move around the house. She has no idea that this is dangerous. She seems to find it more fun when we get upset and try to stop her. She’s drawn blood when we get raked with her claws. Her jumping can knock me over. My balance and vision aren’t very good. I fell once when she leaped at me. In addition, the floor is littered with dog toys. Mrs. Lion calls them “land mines.” I have lots of trouble navigating around them.

This is all temporary. She’s a very smart dog. For example, she goes nuts when she is with me in my office. She jumps at me. I’ve lured her out with a doggy biscuit and closed the door. Now, she doesn’t even try to come in. She knows I don’t want her inside with me. She doesn’t jump on me as much in the bedroom. I’ve consistently sprayed her with water when she jumps. Mrs. Lion has been less consistent and often pets the dog if she puts her front paws on the bed. This is confusing to her.

I’m hoping the dog trainer will help us teach the pup not to jump. I love her company and would like her to help me in my office. Puppies have a natural enthusiasm that needs to be channeled into safer behaviors. The fact that our little dog is already learning some boundaries is a very good sign.

My stress is mostly caused by Mrs. Lion’s reactions to the dog. She gets very upset and yells at the pup. She looks ready to hurt the dog. I know she won’t, but it upsets me. My stomach is in knots from all of this yelling. I hate to think that our normal lives have to wait until the critter is tamed. Mrs. Lion does a good job taming me without yelling. Of course, she is distracted at the moment.

I wrote a post about possession (“Possession“). I intended to explain what made me, and by extension, other men who want to feel submissive, feel owned. I thought I made it clear that Mrs. Lion doesn’t feel ownership when she does things that have a strong emotional impact on me. We don’t share the same signals. That makes perfect sense. Locking me in a male chastity device or locking cock ring is more of an inconvenience than a symbol of ownership to Mrs. Lion. I imagine other women feel the same way.

It’s my job to figure out what makes me feel the transfer of power that I love. It’s up to my lioness to work out how to make her feel her ownership of me. I’ll bet it won’t be the same as what makes me feel owned. She did say that spanking me gives her a sense of ownership. She went on to say that she thought the reason it does is that she has mastered the skill. I don’t think she needs a reason it works. Aside from being confident she can properly beat me, I guess she also gets a sense of possession because I am so vulnerable to her. Reasons aren’t important. I’m just glad there is at least one thing that lets her feel her role.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion thinks I’ve been distant lately. I don’t think I have. Of course, I didn’t know I wasn’t doing what he needed me to do sexually either, so what do I know? When he said I was distant, I said maybe it’s because life has been kicking my ass. Work is stressful. Home is stressful. The dog is stressful. Life is stressful. I read about pandemic burnout the other day. I guess it’s similar to being on high alert for long periods. Eventually, you crash. I can’t claim to have pandemic burnout. Our lives are proceeding normally since we don’t have much contact with the outside world anyway. But the symptoms do sound a lot like how I feel.

I can’t point to any specific thing that’s making me stressed. Well, the dog is a part of it. How can a dog, who is sweet for the most part, cause so many problems? It’s not like we’ve never owned dogs before. I wouldn’t call us experts, but we should know what we’re doing. It’s possible we picked a she-devil. And now the trainer has to cancel our appointment for tonight. He was going to be my savior. Damn.

The thing is, it’s not just me who’s stressed. Lion and I have been snippy with each other. Case in point: we received the replacement remote control for our Sleep Number bed yesterday. (The she-devil ran off with the remote over a week ago.) Lion was programming the remote. This involves unplugging two components of the bed. These components live under the bed and are not easy to access. Any time I get on the floor, the she-devil jumps on me. Luckily, I was able to reach one component by contorting myself between the raised head of one bed and the lowered head of the other. The dog was still “helping” me as I unplugged and replugged the power cord. Lion asked if I was done. Wouldn’t I have said I was done if I was done? I hate when he rushes me. Snip one. (I know he’s not rushing me. He can’t see what I’m doing. But the question still holds: wouldn’t I tell him if I’m done?) I unplugged the other component and was waiting the required twenty seconds when Lion asked if I was done. Again, wouldn’t I say something if I was done? Snip two. We waited for the remote to go through the motions. I wanted to change my bed position, so I asked if he was done. (My back was to him.) Now it was his turn to snip at me. Touche. When the remote was all done, mine wouldn’t work, so we had to go through the whole process again. We were snippy with each other again. What the hell?

When I work from home starting next week, things can either get better or worse. I won’t have to deal with stupid people at work so much so that my stress level should go down. Will home stress increase? We’ll be with each other 24/7. That normally doesn’t bother us. But we’re normally not snippy with each other. We’ll still be dealing with the she-devil, so that stress will still be there. I don’t have an answer.

I do know that we can’t let our snippiness interfere with our power exchange. I know. You’re wondering why I don’t solve the problem with my paddle collection. That would be the easy answer. I disagree. It might allow me to take some frustrations out on Lion’s hide, but that’s not how I want to handle it. We each need to figure out what works best for us as individuals. Lion, for example, might say more orgasms would lower his stress level. Ha! Nice try, my pet.

[Lion — No, I wouldn’t say that more orgasms will help me. When the dog annoys her, Mrs. Lion screams at it and looks like she will hurt the puppy. I am very stressed by the yelling and flailing at the dog. I don’t think she realizes how distressing this is to me. I’ve asked her to please cool it, but she loses it. I understand how distressing it is to have a 50 lb puppy jumping on you. It happens to me too. I just can’t deal with all the yelling and anger. My stress level is very high as a result.]

By:
In: Life with Mrs. Lion

One of the main turn-ons for a bottom is to feel possessed by the top. In BDSM, it’s obvious to see signs of possession. The bottom may wear a collar or a male chastity device. The keyholder is the owner of the property, safely locked away. There is a difference between possession and control. Mrs. Lion controls my sexual pleasure. She decides what stimulation I will receive and when I get to ejaculate. She is in charge of my behavior and punishes me when she feels I need correction. Isn’t this possession?

She may think it is. I’m not convinced. I can be arrested and punished for breaking the law. Does that mean the government owns me? It doesn’t, of course. I’m subject to laws, and the government exercises authority over me by defining prohibited behavior. Possession isn’t the same. I think this is why so many bottoms want more than rules.

Male chastity and domestic discipline are lifestyle activities that can be practiced as BDSM scenes. People like us, who do it 24/7, don’t see it as BDSM. Mrs. Lion’s authority is constant. That means it is part of my life, not something special that happens once in a while. We get satisfaction and value out of our sexual and disciplinary framework.

One reason wearing a male chastity device is important to many men is that it provides a constant reminder of their submission to their keyholders. The women rarely consider locking their partners in a device as a sign of possession. For most, it’s part of a sexual game their husbands enjoy. Many of the men get a much more profound sense of belonging from wearing one.

Note that besides spanking him, she uses her finger in his anus. A sure sign of possession.

I’m not claiming that I don’t feel Mrs. Lion’s ownership. Every time she has me on the spanking bench, it’s obvious I belong to her. When she penetrates me anally, I feel possessed. The other day I published a picture with a post that shows a woman about to spank a man. The image is on the right. Notice that one finger is between his cheeks—that small move signals ownership. Certainly, the spanking to follow reflects her authority, but the finger on or in his anus is an act of possession.

We are all different. Mrs. Lion and I like belonging to one another. We haven’t discussed symbols of possession. I consider my wedding ring a strong symbol of my lifetime connection to her. I liked wearing a chastity device because it was a very obvious expression of her ownership. I wore a locking cock ring (right) that wasn’t as restrictive as the male chastity device but still sent me the message of possession. Do I miss wearing it? I guess I do.

Even though I can get hard wearing it, the locking cock ring is a powerful symbol of possession.

Originally, it was for sexual control and training. It became a kind of wedding ring that meant ownership in addition to connection. After the arousal of having something locked on my penis wore off, I came to realize that it also showed my submission to my lioness. I also feel possessed when she reaches behind me and puts a finger on or in my anus. There is a big connection between intimacy and possession.

Maybe assertion of possession is a big reason for “just because” spankings. They send both of us the unmistakable message of who I belong to. I wonder if the sight of my penis locked in a cock ring or chastity device sends a message to Mrs. Lion. I’m pretty sure a spanking does. It doesn’t have to be obvious. It could be a little smile prompted by that device on my pleasure center that only she can unlock. It has nothing to do with my ability to get off. It’s simply a mark of possession. The same is true of my red bottom after she spanks me. I’m hers and only hers.

By:
In: Masturbation
This is me over nine years ago when I was allowed to jerk off.

I haven’t been in a great mood. My poor vision makes it difficult for me to do anything. I feel isolated and dependent as a result. The new puppy (six months old, now) has bursts of jumping on us and zooming around. Mrs. Lion gets extremely angry, and I worry she will hurt the dog without realizing it. It also upsets me when she gets that way. In fairness, I get very angry with the pup when she does the same thing to me. I’m a little more measured in my response but not successful in correcting it. We have a dog trainer coming to the house on Tuesday evening who may help us correct this behavior.

It’s obvious that the dog doesn’t understand what’s happening when she jumps on us. She doesn’t even know that we are angry. I think she believes we are joining in the fun game. I’m worried that she might get hurt unless we are both very careful. I have to keep the dog out of my office. The moment I sit in my desk chair, she starts jumping on me. A 50lb pup with sharp claws can do damage. We both have bruises and cuts as a result.

Puppies are like storms. They are both forces of nature. They can do damage but have no intention of hurting anyone. It’s just their nature. Fortunately, our dog will grow out of the crazy behavior and can be trained to control it in the meantime. At least, I hope she can.

Meanwhile, I’m happy with Mrs. Lion’s desire to give me more sex. I had a great time on Friday night. Her ability to get me off by hand is back, and she used it to warm me up for the oral main event. I find myself getting turned on when I think about it. Mrs. Lion wrote that she wonders if it was a good idea to train me out of masturbating. That surprised me. Does she have a use for me to jerk off? Almost nine years ago, when she locked me in a male chastity device and told me I could never masturbate again, she told me that she felt it was a sort of cheating. I wonder what made her reconsider it now.

I still remember how to do it. I don’t feel the desire. Yes, it’s fun to play with my penis and get hard. I don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t feel the desire to keep going until I ejaculate. I suppose that if I can be trained to be a neat eater, I can be trained to avoid getting myself off. I can understand why it made some sense to train me not to do it. If I can’t jerk off, then my only opportunity for sex is with my lioness. I can’t use the traditional male pressure release valve, my hand.

I missed it for a long time. For the first three years I was always locked in my male chastity device. Masturbation wasn’t possible. After that, I just “forgot” to do it. It’s a good example of conditioning, a surprisingly effective demonstration. I’m sure the conditioning can be reversed. I think Mrs. Lion wonders if reversing it would open a sexual Pandora’s box. If I am allowed to do it under her supervision, would I obediently avoid it other times? I think she decided it wasn’t worth the risk.