Lion thinks I’ve been distant lately. I don’t think I have. Of course, I didn’t know I wasn’t doing what he needed me to do sexually either, so what do I know? When he said I was distant, I said maybe it’s because life has been kicking my ass. Work is stressful. Home is stressful. The dog is stressful. Life is stressful. I read about pandemic burnout the other day. I guess it’s similar to being on high alert for long periods. Eventually, you crash. I can’t claim to have pandemic burnout. Our lives are proceeding normally since we don’t have much contact with the outside world anyway. But the symptoms do sound a lot like how I feel.
I can’t point to any specific thing that’s making me stressed. Well, the dog is a part of it. How can a dog, who is sweet for the most part, cause so many problems? It’s not like we’ve never owned dogs before. I wouldn’t call us experts, but we should know what we’re doing. It’s possible we picked a she-devil. And now the trainer has to cancel our appointment for tonight. He was going to be my savior. Damn.
The thing is, it’s not just me who’s stressed. Lion and I have been snippy with each other. Case in point: we received the replacement remote control for our Sleep Number bed yesterday. (The she-devil ran off with the remote over a week ago.) Lion was programming the remote. This involves unplugging two components of the bed. These components live under the bed and are not easy to access. Any time I get on the floor, the she-devil jumps on me. Luckily, I was able to reach one component by contorting myself between the raised head of one bed and the lowered head of the other. The dog was still “helping” me as I unplugged and replugged the power cord. Lion asked if I was done. Wouldn’t I have said I was done if I was done? I hate when he rushes me. Snip one. (I know he’s not rushing me. He can’t see what I’m doing. But the question still holds: wouldn’t I tell him if I’m done?) I unplugged the other component and was waiting the required twenty seconds when Lion asked if I was done. Again, wouldn’t I say something if I was done? Snip two. We waited for the remote to go through the motions. I wanted to change my bed position, so I asked if he was done. (My back was to him.) Now it was his turn to snip at me. Touche. When the remote was all done, mine wouldn’t work, so we had to go through the whole process again. We were snippy with each other again. What the hell?
When I work from home starting next week, things can either get better or worse. I won’t have to deal with stupid people at work so much so that my stress level should go down. Will home stress increase? We’ll be with each other 24/7. That normally doesn’t bother us. But we’re normally not snippy with each other. We’ll still be dealing with the she-devil, so that stress will still be there. I don’t have an answer.
I do know that we can’t let our snippiness interfere with our power exchange. I know. You’re wondering why I don’t solve the problem with my paddle collection. That would be the easy answer. I disagree. It might allow me to take some frustrations out on Lion’s hide, but that’s not how I want to handle it. We each need to figure out what works best for us as individuals. Lion, for example, might say more orgasms would lower his stress level. Ha! Nice try, my pet.
[Lion — No, I wouldn’t say that more orgasms will help me. When the dog annoys her, Mrs. Lion screams at it and looks like she will hurt the puppy. I am very stressed by the yelling and flailing at the dog. I don’t think she realizes how distressing this is to me. I’ve asked her to please cool it, but she loses it. I understand how distressing it is to have a 50 lb puppy jumping on you. It happens to me too. I just can’t deal with all the yelling and anger. My stress level is very high as a result.]