One of the main turn-ons for a bottom is to feel possessed by the top. In BDSM, it’s obvious to see signs of possession. The bottom may wear a collar or a male chastity device. The keyholder is the owner of the property, safely locked away. There is a difference between possession and control. Mrs. Lion controls my sexual pleasure. She decides what stimulation I will receive and when I get to ejaculate. She is in charge of my behavior and punishes me when she feels I need correction. Isn’t this possession?
She may think it is. I’m not convinced. I can be arrested and punished for breaking the law. Does that mean the government owns me? It doesn’t, of course. I’m subject to laws, and the government exercises authority over me by defining prohibited behavior. Possession isn’t the same. I think this is why so many bottoms want more than rules.
Male chastity and domestic discipline are lifestyle activities that can be practiced as BDSM scenes. People like us, who do it 24/7, don’t see it as BDSM. Mrs. Lion’s authority is constant. That means it is part of my life, not something special that happens once in a while. We get satisfaction and value out of our sexual and disciplinary framework.
One reason wearing a male chastity device is important to many men is that it provides a constant reminder of their submission to their keyholders. The women rarely consider locking their partners in a device as a sign of possession. For most, it’s part of a sexual game their husbands enjoy. Many of the men get a much more profound sense of belonging from wearing one.
I’m not claiming that I don’t feel Mrs. Lion’s ownership. Every time she has me on the spanking bench, it’s obvious I belong to her. When she penetrates me anally, I feel possessed. The other day I published a picture with a post that shows a woman about to spank a man. The image is on the right. Notice that one finger is between his cheeks—that small move signals ownership. Certainly, the spanking to follow reflects her authority, but the finger on or in his anus is an act of possession.
We are all different. Mrs. Lion and I like belonging to one another. We haven’t discussed symbols of possession. I consider my wedding ring a strong symbol of my lifetime connection to her. I liked wearing a chastity device because it was a very obvious expression of her ownership. I wore a locking cock ring (right) that wasn’t as restrictive as the male chastity device but still sent me the message of possession. Do I miss wearing it? I guess I do.
Originally, it was for sexual control and training. It became a kind of wedding ring that meant ownership in addition to connection. After the arousal of having something locked on my penis wore off, I came to realize that it also showed my submission to my lioness. I also feel possessed when she reaches behind me and puts a finger on or in my anus. There is a big connection between intimacy and possession.
Maybe assertion of possession is a big reason for “just because” spankings. They send both of us the unmistakable message of who I belong to. I wonder if the sight of my penis locked in a cock ring or chastity device sends a message to Mrs. Lion. I’m pretty sure a spanking does. It doesn’t have to be obvious. It could be a little smile prompted by that device on my pleasure center that only she can unlock. It has nothing to do with my ability to get off. It’s simply a mark of possession. The same is true of my red bottom after she spanks me. I’m hers and only hers.