By:
In: Spanking, Edging

When Lion read my post yesterday, he asked if he would be tied face up and down. I was planning to spank him so only face down. He said, “Oh. Too bad.” I responded, “I think you mean, ‘Thank you.'” Was he being greedy? I was actually following through with tying him up. Shouldn’t he take what he could get? Of course, he would take whatever he could get. He had no other choice. I’m sure he was just excited. It’s been ages since he was tied down. I got the restraints quite a while ago and haven’t done anything with them. From his point of view they’ve probably been quietly mocking him from across the room.

Since it was the first time we’d used these restraints, there were bound to be issues that need to be worked out. For example, the cuffs I got aren’t actually for bondage. They’re for some sort of exercise equipment. They don’t fit very well. I guess I need to get some that are meant to be used as restraints. Live and learn. And I can probably cut a lot off the straps to make them easier to use. I hesitated to do that because once I cut it, it’s done. If I wanted to attach him to something else that required longer straps, shorter won’t work. But what are the odds I’ll want to do that? Besides, I can cut some off and still have plenty to work with.

In the past, I’ve knelt beside him, slightly toward his head, while I spank him. This time, I was sitting beside his legs. The angle was different. I assume I have more power from the other position. There’s more room to build up steam for the swat. I don’t think I did too bad last night. I didn’t hit him too hard. That’ was by design. My goal was to give him a pink tush with some “ouches” along the way. I wanted to make sure he felt it without going too far. I think I accomplished it.

After I untied him and he got settled again, I played with my weenie. I used my hand for a while and then asked him the silly question of whether he wanted me to suck him or not. Of course, he did. He was semi-hard to start off. He never got super hard but I thought he’d get to the edge. He might have been heading that way but he never quite made it. No problem. I kept going until he let out a big sigh. I asked if he was done. He was clearly disappointed, but said he was.

Tonight he’s in for more swats. This time they will be of the punishment variety. I doubt he’ll have as much fun, although he’ll probably have edging fun afterwards.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, BDSM

Mrs. Lion and I have a couple of disconnects. They both involve taking action. That’s where the superficial similarities end. They are our difficulty initiating BDSM activities and difficulty punishing subjective offenses. One is sexual and mostly fun. The other is punishment.

Opposites, right?

I don’t think so.

Both require Mrs. Lion to initiate activities. OK, so what? She initiates punishments for not setting up the coffee pot. She initiates sexual activities. She comes to my side of the bed and plays with my penis. How is tying me up or spanking me for interrupting her any different?

Consider this. The coffee pot rule was made and discussed. I tacitly agreed to it. No, I didn’t get asked if I would obey it. But it was discussed, and I accepted. Observing infractions is easy and not subject to interpretation. The coffee pot is either set up, or it isn’t. Binary. The same is true of basic sex. Mrs. Lion agreed to tease me and get me off every so often. I suggested it.

In both situations, I had an equal role in initiating. There is no ambiguity.

Wouldn’t tying me to the bed be the same? On the surface, it’s no different than scooching over and playing with my penis. However, there is an important difference. The scooching isn’t initiating sex. It’s being available to provide teasing or release. My reactions govern whether or not she plays with my cock. It’s a sort of passive initiation on my part. It’s not negative at all, but Mrs. Lion is letting me control what happens.

The same is true of domestic discipline. I asked for it. Mrs. Lion agreed to provide it. She’s learned to be an effective spanker. She enjoys catching me break the few binary rules we have–spilling on my shirt, not setting up the coffee pot. Spanking me is part of the game. Again, my agreement is explicit. I can’t argue with stains on my shirt or the coffee pot not ready in the morning. Binary.

When it comes to tying me to the bed or other non-CBT BDSM, Mrs. Lion is in complete charge. She initiates the activity. The same is true of spanking me for interrupting her or annoying her. She and she alone determines if I committed an offense. It isn’t binary. She decides without physical evidence of my guilt.

Maybe the challenge is learning to take full charge. Even though sex is just for me and Mrs. Lion claims that I should be able to decide if I want it or not, it might be better to take that choice away from me. Even if sometimes I’m not going to be aroused by getting Icy Hot on my balls or tied to the bed, doing it anyway might be the best thing to do.

I have a well-known problem with initiating sex. It may be that problem that caused Mrs. Lion to lose her libido. I feel very guilty about that. She’s never been happy about initiating either. The discussion about this always centered around sex. I’m horrible about initiating it. Now that we agreed that I don’t initiate anymore, it doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion will have an easy time taking on that role.

I don’t know the answer. Under our current arrangement, Mrs. Lion is in charge. If I’m going to be tied to the bed, she will have to initiate it. If I’m going to learn not to interrupt, she will have to be just as binary as she is about the damn coffee pot.  It’s always easier to find reasons not to do something. We both have that problem. It isn’t really fair for me to expect her to do what I can’t. I get that. I’m just not sure what we can do.

By:
In: Spanking

I have been very tired the past few days. I got home from the dog’s training with Burger King for dinner. We ate then I took a shower. Not long after that, we were both snoozing. I kept waking up and falling back to sleep, so it wasn’t very peaceful. I don’t know if Lion’s impromptu naps rejuvenate him, but mine sure didn’t last night. When I got to work this morning, I was falling asleep in no time.

This does not bode well for the evening’s activities. The plan was to tie Lion to the bed and give him a play spanking. Will either of us be awake enough to do that? We may have a 50-50 shot at it, but perhaps that’s optimistic. I have been known to be exhausted all day at work and then be fine at home, so who knows. If I am at all awake and alert enough, and Lion is too, I will follow through with the plans.

Assuming I give him a play spanking tonight, we should be on track for a punishment spanking tomorrow night. I’m still giving him one, whether I was right or not about the pill containers. The bottom line is that he annoyed me, and annoying me has consequences. He’s waited a long time for me to flex my muscles for that reason. He’ll probably be sorry I finally caught up with his expectations. His buns certainly will be sorry.

His tush may be sore from tonight’s play spanking when he settles onto the spanking bench for his punishment. He won’t be bleeding tonight. I doubt he’ll have a bruise. That doesn’t mean he won’t feel the effects of tonight’s spanking tomorrow night. If nothing else, we may get to the bleeding and bruising more quickly tomorrow. I guess I’m priming his butt for tomorrow. I’m marinating or tenderizing the meat for grilling in 24 hours.

Someone light the charcoal.

By:
In: Body Hair Removal
Pretty Australian women. Their bushes are unappealing to me

Tastes change. I am a little surprised at myself how much I have. The other day, someone posted a picture on Twitter of a naked woman in Australia. They have full bushes. I was turned off. I’m not saying that nudes with shaved pubes turn me on. They don’t turn me off. They look normal to me. For the record, when naked men are in pictures, seeing pubic hair seems odd.

I haven’t had pubic hair in over 25 years. I can’t remember how I looked when I had hair down there. When I first lost my hair, women (and me, I suppose) had full bushes. Naked women with hair there turned me on. I didn’t even consider hairless pubes back then. My sex life was active. Obviously, my taste in pubic hair radically changed over the years.

I lost mine shortly after my divorce. I was dating a woman who was exploring BDSM with me. It was completely new to both of us. When I first met her, I did a little manscaping. I trimmed my long, unruly pubic hair. I don’t remember why I did it. Anyway, apparently, she liked me that way. As it grew back, she was topping me. One day, when I was tied spread-eagle on my back, she came into the room with a bowl of warm water and a razor. Without a word, she removed all of my pubic hair and a lot of the hair on my stomach and thighs.

This is much more appealing to me.

I was very surprised and not entirely happy about it. After we were done with play and sex, I asked her why she did it. She said that she never liked pubic hair. One of the things that attracted her to me, in the beginning, was my trimmed hair. As it grew back, it started to turn her off. She loved the hairless look. She pointed out that she was naturally almost bald down there. I never gave it much thought until she shaved me.

Shaving was a weekly event. I got used to it quickly. When we broke up, I let the hair grow back. Then, several months later, I met my lesbian couple. One of them shaved as a surprise. It was nice. I agreed to let her shave me. All three of us were hairless for a while. One of them had a problem with ingrown hair, so she went back to a bush. The other one and I stayed hairless.

I never had hair again. I got used to the way I looked with no hair. I remained neutral about the female bush. Over the years, I came to think of pubic hair as a sign of power. Mrs. Lion had a bush. She was in charge so she could have one. I was her bottom, so it would be inappropriate for me to have any. Now, I don’t think of pubic hair in terms of power. It’s aesthetic now. I’m so used to seeing hairless pubes, a bush seems almost dirty. What can I say?