By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Hand Jobs, Spanking
lion spanked with small blue paddle

I was falling asleep at work yesterday. By the time I got home, I was ready to crawl under the blankets and take a quick nap. And I did. Then my mother called to see if we were anywhere near the coronavirus outbreak in Seattle. We aren’t. Since I was up I made dinner. Lion was snoozing a bit but he woke up when I came out of the shower.

I whomped his butt with a wooden paddle to test the theory that the previous night’s spanking was painful only because I’d used the rubber paddle. The paddle didn’t matter. He was still yowling. I think it’s the stretched skin that matters. He says it may not be possible to spank as long with him in the milking position. Perhaps I’ll have to use it only when I want to swat his crack. That will definitely show my hand though. Once I tell him to get on his knees, he’ll know what’s coming. Oh well.

A while after I swatted him, I gave him the beginnings of a handjob. I don’t think he got close at all but I know it felt good. Sometimes that’s all you can hope for. As long as we’re touching and it feels good to him, I’m happy. The rest is just frosting on the cake.

I don’t think I’ll spank him tonight. Our questions have been answered. Any lengthy spanking will have to be done while he’s on his tummy. I’m sure we can modify things with a few pillows but other than that it is, as they say, what it is.

Tonight I’m hoping I have a little more energy. It doesn’t look good at the moment but I need to do more for Lion. I should be playing with him more to get him excited. I can’t just suck him or yank on him. He needs Icy Hot or tiny clothespins. (I just felt him cringe.) Maybe I’ll make him happy and tie his balls tightly. He really likes that. I do too.

lion's balls tied apart

By:
In: Spanking, Lion's Journal, Punishment

Mrs. Lion always denies it, but she’s definitely making some changes. Perhaps lioness 4.0 is arriving. On Tuesday night she spanked me. I had spilled on my shirt during the day and self-reported the infraction to her. We had an email exchange when I did. She wondered if she should punish me for things I did that she didn’t catch. She also wondered if I did have a self-reporting requirement, did that mean she had to check the laundry to be sure I didn’t “miss” anything. I suggested that she could spot-check the laundry, but didn’t have to. She agreed that self-reporting is a good idea.

She started the spanking with me in the milking position (kneeling, butt up in the air, legs apart). I was yelping loudly right from the start. Boy did that hurt! I couldn’t stay in that position and asked her if I could return to our traditional over-the-edge-of-the-bed position. She agreed. I was a little surprised that she kept going with me in the new position. It didn’t hurt any less but I was able to hold still. She used the rubber paddle and didn’t draw any blood. My ass was on fire! I felt it for hours. About an hour after the spanking, she edged me using her mouth. It was odd feeling pleasure on one side and pain on the other.

Yesterday morning, I emailed her and mentioned that I thought 4.0 was on the way. I expressed my amazement at how much this spanking hurt. I also said that it was almost impossible to stay in the milking position during a spanking. She replied that she can make me squirm in any position. I was a little surprised by that statement. I don’t ever recall her being so objective about her spanking ability.

She went on to say that she liked the milking position because it’s easier to find my sit spot and she can more easily hit the inside of my crack. It’s hard to argue with that. I suggested that maybe we try a stack of pillows for me to be over which would supply support and keep me in the position she likes. She suggested that we can try the milking position with wooden paddles. Maybe that would make it easier for me to stay in that position. I doubt that because it isn’t the paddle but the effect she desires that makes it hard to stay still. She wants loud yelping and squirming. She’s perfectly capable of producing both with any paddle we have.

In our email exchange, I mentioned that this spanking felt very different than the other ones. I could feel her sense of objectivity about what she was doing. It was clear to me that she wanted to hurt as much as possible. I mentioned in an email that it was a good thing. After all, I should hate being spanked but get turned on thinking about it. That is exactly what happened yesterday. I got turned on thinking about it but truly don’t look forward to more.

This may not seem like much of a change. It really is. I’ve encouraged Mrs. Lion to be binary about punishment. That is, if I’ve earned a spanking, I should get one. It shouldn’t really matter if the offense was minor. The spanking should be just as painful as if I did something more serious. That may sound counterintuitive, but I think it makes sense. If the intensity of the spanking varies based on the “seriousness” of the offense, then I will worry less about spilling than about interrupting, for example.

I agree that annoying Mrs. Lion is more serious than food on my shirt, but doing anything requiring punishment is almost equally serious because I failed to obey my lioness. If she feels I require more than a standard spanking, she has other things she can do. I know this is different from what I said before when I discussed the idea of misdemeanors and felonies.  Punishment I think, is binary. I either get it or I don’t. When I get it, it should make me unhappy and make me regret what I did.

It’s taken both of us a long time to get to this point. Part of the problem is that neither of us had any experience with corporal punishment. More difficult is the fact that I like being spanked. Mrs. Lion has always considered spanking me something that I want and need. I do. I think that’s true in every domestic discipline relationship.

Here’s the tricky part: Wanting and needing spanking suggests that I control what happens. Of course, I don’t decide when I get or don’t get spanked. Perhaps unconsciously Mrs. Lion thought that meant I should control the intensity as well. When I wrote about wanting stronger spankings, she tried to accommodate me. She’s done a great job. At some point, I think she realized that punishment is something I shouldn’t control. Tuesday’s spanking was clearly punishment and considerably more painful than one controlled by me would be.

I think that’s lioness 4.0. She doesn’t care if I think my spanking is too painful. In fact, she wants me to think that it is. Her emails with me made it clear that she had an objective that didn’t include my opinion. That’s exactly how it should be. It’s my job to find a way to stay in position until she’s finished punishing me. If I move, like Tuesday night, she calmly waits for me to settle down and goes on.

For the record, in the calm of the day after, I am happy that I am relieved of the responsibility for determining anything about my punishments. From my perspective, this is an important difference. For the first time, Mrs. Lion had no interest in whether or not I thought I was done with my spanking. That’s as it should be.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Oral Sex, Punishment, Spanking

Tuesday night meant another trip back to the doctor’s office. This time it was Lion’s turn to have blood drawn for his appointment Friday. We also ate at a restaurant we haven’t been to in quite a while, thanks to a gift card I won in a drawing at work. We got home in plenty of time for me to shower and spank Lion for spilling food on his shirt.

He brought up an interesting point yesterday. He told me he spilled coffee on his shirt. Is this a spankable offense? I wasn’t home to see it. He self-reported his bad behavior. I figure I’m not going to go through the laundry to see if he spilled when I’m not there. On the other hand, if he tells me he did it, am I not required to spank him? We settled on self-reporting being spankable and I’ll spot check the laundry just to keep him honest.

When I was ready to spank him, I grabbed the rubber paddle. It was on top of my dresser. I told him to get in milking position. It’s the best position to see his sit spot. He was yelping almost immediately. I didn’t think I was hitting very hard but the rubber paddle is heavy and springs back so very little effort is required.

After I got him all rosy, he said I must have found my favorite paddle. Did I? I just picked it because it was on top. There’s no more to read into it than that. Tonight, as practice, I’ll use a wooden paddle with him in that same position. He wants to try to stack pillows up to see if that will help him stay in milking position. When it starts to hurt a lot he has a tendency to try to get away. It’s also difficult for him to hold himself up with his bum shoulders. I assume it may just feel like I’m hitting harder because the skin is stretched tighter. If I can see his sit spot better, I’m hitting on more muscle than when he’s down on his tummy. In a flatter position, I’m hitting looser skin. I don’t want to say flab, but there’s more jiggle.

I gave him some time to recover from his whomping before I played with him. His shoulders have been hurting a lot lately. This may be another reason not to use the milking position for spanking. Rather than give him a boring, old hand job, I had him move over so I could give him a boring, old blow job. It took a while to get him hard again. And then he never quite made it to the edge before I had to stop. My neck started hurting. I chugged along for quite a while before I crapped out. Luckily, he was happy enough with what I was able to do for him.
{ To be continued…}

By:
In: Orgasm denial, Lion's Journal

Orgasm denial is one of the most popular topics in the world of submissive men. It’s developed enormous mythology around the power of suppressing ejaculation. This came to mind because I read a ridiculous post by a self-proclaimed female dominant who claims there are all sorts of physical and mental effects when a man is prevented from ejaculating. It’s part of bigger mythology surrounding the immense power of a penis.

There’s no question we like our cocks. I’m very fond of mine. I like it because it’s capable of giving me extremely pleasurable sensations. Nature intended this. After all, in order to propagate the species we need some sort of incentive to have sex with a female. Primates also use sex recreationally. Unlike most other mammals, we mate for fun without pregnancy being the objective. In other words, we enjoy recreational sex.

As males, we learn that when no one is around who will have sex with us, we can take care of it ourselves by masturbating. It’s a fun activity that when not overdone, is completely healthy. Men who decide they want to submit to someone sexually, generally relinquish control of when they can ejaculate. This is certainly true of me. Mrs. Lion has trained me not to masturbate. The only way I can ejaculate is if she uses her hand or mouth to get me off. She doesn’t do this when I ask her to. She does it when she decides I should get an orgasm. This is called orgasm denial or orgasm control.

Both men and women have mechanisms that cut in when sex is not available. In the absence of sexual stimulation, the desire for sex diminishes over time. This is a complex process involving brain chemistry and hormones. If, on the other hand, there is sexual teasing, conversation, or visual stimulation, the desire to have sex will stay reasonably strong without actual sexual activity.

BDSM orgasm denial is intended to keep the male as interested in sex as possible without allowing him to release. Mrs. Lion plays with my penis almost every night pushing me as close to orgasm as she can over and over, without letting me come. This make sure that all of those nice little hormones are circulating in my body and I ache for a chance to ejaculate. The fact that I can’t because she won’t let me is a very hot expression of her power over me.

I get very horny and think sexual thoughts, get some spontaneous erections, and very badly want release. My body isn’t particularly troubled by all this. Contrary to popular belief, being sexually aroused and denied for any amount of time is nothing more than frustrating. My balls won’t swell up. I won’t produce hormones I can’t get rid of. All I’ll do is feel very frustrated. If I happen to be a submissive man, I could channel this frustration into increased obedience. I could imagine that if I was a good enough boy she might let me ejaculate.

On the other hand, if it’s me, I’m just going to get frustrated and horny and grumble a little bit now and then. I don’t feel any overwhelming need to get more obedient, do the dishes, or lick Mrs. Lion’s paws. The desire to do that is all in the mind of the person who wants to do it. There is no biological force making a man more submissive if he is horny. That’s not entirely true. I don’t think there’s a guy in the world who hasn’t done stuff he doesn’t want to do in the hopes it will get him into the panties of a woman he’s pursuing. How much he’s willing to do is a function of how badly he wants her.

Orgasm denial, no matter how long it goes on, is a psychological game. There are no physical risks associated with not having ejaculations. It’s absolutely safe to be edged and never allowed to ejaculate. It’s frustrating, but that’s the idea. If you think about it, the whole point of orgasm denial and control is to create a powerful mechanism that can be used to dominate the man. All the activities around orgasm denial draw attention to the penis. That attention is drawn in a way that encourages arousal. However, it doesn’t permit ejaculation. It’s designed to increase interest in sex and to emphasize that satisfaction only can come from the woman who’s in control.

That’s it. It’s almost impossible to play this game without increasing the dominant partner’s control. If one seriously agrees not to get himself off, he’s lost the game of power. Mrs. Lion makes sure that my interest in sex remains high. She celebrates my erections and stimulates my penis until I’m almost ready to ejaculate. She does this daily in most cases, and makes sure she lets me know that she likes how quickly I get hard. She also lets me know that I’ll get my chance to ejaculate when she’s good and ready.

She generally keeps me waiting between four and 10 days. She can keep me longer if she wishes. Some men like much longer waits. I haven’t come across a couple where the woman demands long intervals between orgasms. Generally, most women want the wait to be just long enough to make the point. That is, long enough so that he knows that no matter how much he wants a chance to ejaculate, he’s not going to get it until she decides she wants him to have it. After all, it’s about power. Most women like seeing men ejaculate. Many, like Mrs. Lion, have fun giving him orgasms. Orgasm denial is an extended form of foreplay. It’s also a very good way for a woman to assert sexual power.