By:
In: Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Spanking

I asked for it. I let Mrs. Lion know that I like being teased. Now, she is much less likely to give me an orgasm even if I’ve been waiting for a long time. I’m pretty sure she won’t push me too far into the future. She likes making me ejaculate. On the other hand, she has considerable fun watching me humping air when she brings me right to the edge. She knows I love getting a blow job and has learned to effectively edge me with her mouth. That means I can’t assume that because she is using her mouth, she will let me come.

It’s important that she keeps me waiting. If she gets me off because I really want to ejaculate, I am effectively in control. If she demonstrates her authority by repeatedly edging me even though I’ve been waiting a long time, she is reinforcing a role.

What we do by practicing orgasm control is to turn what many people think is a natural instinctive activity into something that is consciously planned. It’s true that if we weren’t practicing male chastity, I might get more opportunities to ejaculate. There’s also a very good chance I wouldn’t.

Before we began all this, Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex. It kind of tapered out over several years. As a result, I don’t think she thought about sex too much in terms of me. I had to hint very strongly in order to get her to jerk me off. I didn’t like that. I’ve always been terrible at initiating. I was even worse about asking for something just for me. As a result, she got me off about once a month. Even though she wasn’t aware of it, I took care of myself two or three times a week.

When I asked her to lock me up in a male chastity device, we made an agreement that she would do something sexual with me at least every other day. Of course, she did not agree to get me off every other day. All she agreed to do was tease me. I was told that I could never jerk off again. Mrs. Lion told me that it really bothered her that I could get myself off. Of course, it was easy for me to obey that requirement because she had me locked in a chastity device full-time. It only came off when she played with me.

In our case, by putting structure around something that people might think should be “natural”, we took care of a festering problem. Beginning enforced male chastity also improved our communication. When we also began a Female Led Relationship with Discipline, communication further improved on several levels.

The most important one, I think, was that Mrs. Lion was able to let me know how she felt and make sure I understood how I could make things better. As my disciplining wife, she had the duty to punish me when I did something I shouldn’t. In the beginning, this applied just to the rules she made. Later, as we both grew, I was also disciplined for annoying her or being rude to her.

I get spanked anytime Mrs. Lion feels I need it. The spanking is beneficial because it reinforces my desire to do what she wishes. But that’s not the real benefit. The real benefit is that Mrs. Lion has agreed to let me know anytime I do something that annoys her. This has been very difficult for her. She’s still working on being able to do this consistently.

Even though a lot of interest is expressed about our orgasm control and spanking, the real benefit is the way we’ve improved our communication. It’s interesting that this communication includes physical activity — edging and spanking — that assures we stay in close touch. There is much more to this than playing with my penis or swatting my bottom. I agree that those activities are things we like, but the real reason we keep them up year after year is that they help us get closer and grow.

By:
In: Spanking, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment
heavy rubber spanking paddles
New rubber spanking paddles. Both are made from nearly 1-inch thick conveyor belt material. They are very heavy. Lion definitely won’t like these. I wonder why he ordered them. (Click here for purchasing information)

Last week we got two new paddles. They’re heavy rubber and smell like tires. I left them on the deck for a few days to out-gas. They weathered a few days of heavy rain. I put them in the main bathroom so they could dry and that’s where they’ve stayed.

Not that I need an occasion to test out a new paddle, but Lion has given me one. I almost said he “thoughtfully” gave me one, but if he had been thinking he wouldn’t be getting punished. I know the days all blend in together when you’re home but he’s been working. He should know what day of the week it is. By afternoon I realized he hadn’t reminded me of punishment day. Of course, I’m not going to say anything because he has till 8:30 pm to do it. Around dinner time I remembered again. Still, he had a few hours. The next time I remembered was 11 as I was putting drops in his eyes.

When I told him of his error, his face went blank. He had an “oh shit” moment and then admitted he forgot entirely. Sometimes he remembers things in the middle of doing something else and forgets to tell me. We both do that. For days I tried to remember to make his scones. (I finally made them. Blueberry yumminess, according to Lion.) But this time he completely forgot. I could see he was trying to figure out how he could have forgotten something that’s been in effect for so long. Saturdays are a much more recent addition to the punishment schedule, but Mondays and Thursdays have been in effect forever.

A little while later, I forgot to set a timer between drops. Lion asked if his remembering the timer negated forgetting about punishment day. Ha ha! Nice try, my pet. No. One of those new paddles will be broken in on your buns this afternoon.

By:
In: Edging, Lion's Journal

Mrs. Lion commented in her post yesterday that if you want to see a man move fast tell him you’re going to give him a blow job. She’s right. When she told me to get into position, I didn’t waste a second. There’s no question about it, if we don’t have vaginal sex, oral sex is definitely my favorite. In fact, when we had vaginal sex I still liked oral better. Mrs. Lion is a virtuoso at it.

She often writes about her dilemma when deciding when to finally give me release. She’s right, sometimes I do complain if she gives me an orgasm too soon. How long should she make me wait? That’s a difficult question for both of us. Historically, my average wait over the last couple of years is just under seven days. We’ve gone through fairly long periods when it was just three or four days.

Recently, she hasn’t been able to get me very close to the edge some of the time. This is usually the first five or six days after I ejaculate. Sometimes, it takes her at least a week. I have no idea why I respond that way. There’s no obvious explanation. Even oral sex won’t get me up there. When I’m finally able to get to the edge or beyond, we both have a lot more fun.

Sunday was the magic day when I could reach the top of the curve. This is the time when Mrs. Lion frets about what to do next. I certainly get frustrated after repeated edging. I don’t believe that’s a good reason to take me out of my misery. I also don’t think there’s a formula to apply to decide when I finally get to ejaculate. From my perspective, as long as she’s willing to put in the effort, teasing me for days and days after I finally get that ability to reach the edge is a lot of fun for me. Before I get to that tipping point, I’m not all that interested in getting off. However, I really love the attention.

BDSM activities are a real aphrodisiac for me. We’ve learned that even though I like them, the clock that controls when I can reach the edge doesn’t seem to change even if we play. It does improve my general happiness even if it doesn’t make me want to ejaculate.

Sexual stimulation for me seems to be in two phases, well three if you count my refractory period. After the refractory period passes, stimulation gets me erect and I enjoy being masturbated. At some point during the stimulation, I lose the erection and my interest in being stimulated. This is a very frustrating phase for me. How long this phase lasts is variable. Sometimes, by the third day, I can be edged without a problem. Other times, like this past week I wasn’t able to reach the edge until the eighth day.

We haven’t tested whether BDSM activities change the day I can be edged. It might. The thing is, we need to acknowledge that I have this pre-edging phase and make the best of it. It is fun for me. I love the attention. I just need to accept the fact that every time I’m sexually stimulated I may not get all the way to the edge of orgasm. I know that Mrs. Lion accepts it, now I have to.

She’s right when she says that I’m not broken. I don’t have any idea why I do this, but apparently this is the way my body works now. Obviously, I would prefer to be orgasmic right from the day after I have my ejaculation. I’m grateful that Mrs. Lion can make me hard and is willing to stimulate me without the incentive of frustrating me.

I like the frustration. I’ve learned to love the way it feels to be brought to the edge over and over and then left hanging. Is this sexual masochism? Perhaps. Whatever it is, after more than six years of it, I consider this perfectly normal and what I really like. I may get tired of hand jobs but I don’t ever tire of Mrs. Lion’s wonderful sexual attention.

By:
In: Orgasm denial, Mrs Lion Comments, Oral Sex
hard lion

When you watch TV shows that center on the husband being a buffoon, which is almost all shows, the wife tends to be a bitch. At some point, someone will say the phrase “happy wife, happy life.” Lion is not a buffoon, I don’t think I’m a bitch and the phrase tends to be “happy husband, happy life.” I know it doesn’t rhyme but bear with me.

Lion was upset the other day, thinking that I was bored with him or that I didn’t like him. He’s a very sensitive guy. If I spend too much time on my iPad or I don’t follow through with plans of sexual attention, he thinks something is wrong. In an effort to dissuade this, I changed our agreement from sexual attention at least every other day to sexual attention six days out of seven. I further promised to make afternoon delight the norm for as long as we’re quarantined and on weekends thereafter. We started yesterday.

At some point in the early afternoon, Lion went into the bedroom. I finished what I was doing and followed him. We watched some TV and snuggled a bit before I put the moves on him. When I finally moved into the handjob position, I grabbed the Magic Wand. Lion sighed. Clearly that wasn’t the attention he was hoping for. I told him I didn’t need to use it, but he told me to continue. He wasn’t very convincing. I proceeded for a few minutes and he did seem to be enjoying himself, but it definitely was not what he wanted. It wasn’t what I wanted either, but I’d decided to do something that was a little more than “just” masturbation. What I really wanted to do was give him a blow job, so I told him to lay across the bed. If you want to see a man move fast, tell him you’re going to give him a blow job.

Since he was already pretty hard from the Magic Wand, it didn’t take much to get him the rest of the way. I didn’t go right for sucking though. I kissed him all over and then teased him with the tip of my tongue. And when I finally started sucking him, I made sure there was a lot of suction involved. I don’t normally do it that way because it can get too intense, but intense was exactly what I was going for. I asked him how many days it had been. He said eight and I made a comment about that being no good. I didn’t say what that meant. It could have been too many or too little. At that point, I wasn’t sure which one.

As I continued making him squirm, I decided that I’d get him as close as I could for as long as I could without pushing him over the edge. If it happened, it happened, but I didn’t really want it to. Eight days is an average wait, but I haven’t really gotten him to the edge much since his last orgasm. He needs to suffer a bit. How can he truly enjoy an orgasm to its fullest if he hasn’t been frustrated enough? What’s enough? It’s not an exact science. Many times I think he’s suffered enough and, after orgasm, he’ll say he didn’t really want one. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy it or really want it. He just wanted to be denied again. That’s when I feel like I can’t win.

I don’t know how long I’ll make him wait. Maybe he’ll get lucky today. Maybe it won’t be till Thursday. Maybe, since days are meaningless right now, I won’t have any idea what day it is. But eventually, he’ll have the orgasm he so dearly wants.