By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

We’ve made it to the holiday weekend. As I wrote the other day, having an extra day off means little to us. Lion has every day off for now, and I’ve been working from home. We’re together no matter what day it is. But it’s an extra day I don’t have to be at my computer.

Lion is better. And then he’s not. For the past few nights, I’ve been able to get him aroused and jerk him off for a little while until he tells me he doesn’t think he’s going any further. They’re nice erections. I don’t expect him to get too far. Between having an orgasm and not feeling well, I think it will be quite a few days before he’s ready for take-off. Obviously, just because he’s ready doesn’t mean I’ll be ready to give him an orgasm. It doesn’t quite work that way.

Sometimes I think Lion should be able to masturbate with supervision, but I realize that’s a slippery slope. If I allow it while I’m watching him, how long will it be before he does it while I’m not? I don’t think he’d break that rule. He hasn’t masturbated in 7 years. Why would he start just because I allowed him supervised masturbation? However, why dangle that carrot in front of him? It’s not worth the risk. Besides, the only reason I can think of for granting him the ability to masturbate in any capacity is that I’m tired of doing it for him. I am not. I’m perfectly happy with the way things are right now. Don’t rock the boat.

Today I’m going to try to mow the lawn in between rainy days. It poured last night. It’s supposed to rain for the next few days. The grass is already high. I need to get as much knocked down as I can before the rain comes back. This means I may not have any energy for Lion later. I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee it. I may not actually need much energy though. The night before last I just sucked on him for a few minutes and he said he was good. Last night I warmed up the coconut oil and yanked on him for about five or ten minutes before he said he was done. If that’s any indication, I should have enough oomph left to do something with him. The main event won’t be for another few days. I’ll be rested up for that.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Male Chastity, at least wearing a chastity device, is a sort of sexual game. It’s exciting and fun for the man wearing the device. The rules are simple: He gets locked into the device (or she locks him in). She has the keys. He can’t get any sexual pleasure until she unlocks him. Most people who do this play for a day or a weekend at a time. While he is locked up, she keeps him as horny as she can. Guys love it.

penis in chastity device

Most of the fantasies are a lot more complex. The reality is that simple. Some men, like me, end up in a chastity device for a very long time. At some point it stops being a game and becomes something more.

The key power exchange, whether for a weekend or forever, is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. Most men masturbate their entire lives. We jerk off when we are horny and a partner isn’t available. Yes, we prefer sex with our partners, but a hand will do if one isn’t available at the moment.

Our partners are sexual chocolate. We can live without it, but much prefer it if we can get it. The key is that we don’t depend on our partners for sex. We just prefer it. Male chastity changes that. The chastity device makes masturbation very difficult. The game of wearing the device makes it dumb to defeat the hardware. For most of us it’s the first time in our lives that we can’t take care of business ourselves.

Mrs. Lion didn’t know I jerked off until I asked her to lock me into a chastity device. I told her that I had been masturbating two or three times a week. She wasn’t that interested in sex and was either giving me a handjob or oral sex about once a month. Apparently she thought that was the only sex I was getting. She was surprised and a little upset to learn that I jerked off.

She agreed to lock me in the male chastity device and also made me agree to never jerk off again. I was surprised she felt so strongly about it. To this day, almost seven years later, I haven’t jerked off. She won’t even let me do it under her supervision. Chastity device or no chastity device, it’s paws off for me.

Unknowingly, we stumbled on to the most important benefit of male chastity. It wasn’t the power exchange or the teasing. It had nothing to do with the popular fantasies. It was much more basic than that: I am completely dependent on Mrs. Lion for sexual release. I can’t ejaculate unless she does what it takes to make me come. She lets me make myself hard if I want, but that’s it. If she won’t get me off, I don’t get to ejaculate.

Most women don’t think of this as particularly profound. Many women don’t masturbate, or if they do, it is because they don’t have a sexual partner. Men masturbate whether or not they are in a sexual relationship. Many of us don’t think of jerking off as sex. It’s just a release of tension. That’s why becoming totally dependent on someone else for release is such a big deal.

I wore a chastity device continuously for three years. It only came off when Mrs. Lion wanted to tease me or make me ejaculate. She made sure she had full sexual control of my penis. The device came off for a while because I had some surgeries. More recently, I’m not locked up most of the time. It doesn’t matter. She broke me of the habit of jerking off.

Regardless of any sexual games that might be played using male orgasm control, when practiced the way we do it, a new physical bond is formed. We have always been in love and will stay together as long as we live. That was true while I was jerking off. Now, my total dependency on Mrs. Lion for sexual release brings us closer on a physical level.

She knows  I need release and whether or not she is interested in sex for herself, knows that I depend on her. She also knows it is fun for both of us if she teases me and makes me wait to ejaculate. Aside from the fun aspect, it serves to remind us both of her sexual control. That control is the real basis of male chastity and, as it turns out for us, a great benefit.

By:
In: Spanking, Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

I am writing this on Thursday afternoon. All-day I’ve been feeling pretty good. It’s still too early to know whether or not my mysterious illness is going to strike again. It’s an intestinal vampire. It seems to sleep all day and then creep out as it gets dark. Oddly enough, it tends to leave me alone while I sleep. This is probably due to the fact that I use the medicine the doctor gave me just before I go to bed. If I stay reasonably pain-free later, maybe I can convince Mrs. Lion to do something sexual with me. I know it’s way too soon for an orgasm and I’m probably not ready for one anyway.

Based on her post yesterday (“He Really Did Ask For It“), she’s more aware of how I affect her. That’s good. Well, good for us but maybe not so good for my rear end. I’m not trying to find new ways to get spanked. I know it seems that way. I’m also not looking for ways for Mrs. Lion to be more outwardly dominant. Mind you, I wouldn’t mind if she was, but that isn’t the point of this. I really want to know when she’s upset with me. I also want her to help me learn to avoid doing things she doesn’t like.

I know it’s difficult for many to believe, but settling these upsetting situations with a spanking actually clears the slate. There’s a sense of closure and just resolution when the punishment is done. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion has articulated this, but I do get the sense that by spanking me she is resolving a feeling that might otherwise fester under the surface.

The other day when she spanked me, she let me know it was for two offenses. She told me when she was finished spanking me for forgetting the coffee pot. Then she announced I was being punished for being snarky. I took all that in. The second part of the spanking was if anything, more severe than the first. I felt punished for upsetting her. I hope she felt vindicated.

It turns out that for us, punishment, physical punishment does more than satisfy some kinky need for spanking. It goes beyond the idea of dominance and submission. It’s true that both kinks are involved. They are the match that lights the disciplinary flame. I don’t think either of us thinks about BDSM or sex when I’m being punished. It’s about sending a message. Of course, there are other ways to send this kind of message. DD is what works for us.

It’s not a simple cause-and-effect process. It’s complex and emotional. It is easy to define what we do. I don’t think either of us really understands why it works. All we know is that it’s something that works for us. I’m very glad it does.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion says he hasn’t had any sexual activity since his orgasm. He says it’s partly because I haven’t been feeling well. While it’s true I was achy from the weekend, I’m usually achy. Most of the time I do things for and to him whether I feel achy or not. It has to reach a fairly high level before I beg off. From my point of view, the reason we haven’t been doing anything sexual is, understandably, his cramps, and frequent runs to the bathroom.

Lion also contends he didn’t ask for his punishment although he concedes that he did earn it. The latter is definitely true. However, we started our female-led disciplinary relationship because he wanted me to punish him for breaking rules. We/I came up with rules. He follows or breaks them. If he breaks them, he gets punished. Hence, he asked for it.

I know he’s not actually asking me to spank him when he breaks a rule. He is correct in saying I would spank him if he asked me to do it. A play spanking can reach the same level of intensity as a punishment spanking. The difference is that it will take longer to get to that intensity. I think the few times I’ve actually bruised Lion was during a play spanking. I was trying to. If you take an implement with a small enough head to concentrate the force in one spot and then don’t hit again for a few minutes, theoretically, a bruise will form. Lion is notoriously difficult to bruise. Sometimes he’s even difficult to get red. Maybe it has something to do with having almost no butt at all. His hips sort of merge into his thighs with very little cushioning. I’d think that would make it easier to bruise, but Lion is sometimes a confounding person.

Since his whomping the other day, he’s been on his best behavior. The coffee pot has been put together and he’s been reminding me about punishment day. I can think of only one time that he was even close to annoying me but I was already well on my way to annoyance so I can’t really hold that against him. He’s been a very good boy despite being at his wit’s end with this illness. How can he feel better and then have it sneak back up on him day after day? It doesn’t seem fair. He put in his time. Leave him alone!

We’re heading into a three-day weekend and the only thing that will change for us is that I won’t have to be at my desk talking to myself so much. We’re not going anywhere. We’re not doing anything. Ordinarily we’d be off camping somewhere, but even before the world shut down, Lion decided to go camping on non-holiday weekends. Sometimes he knows when things are going to happen. I don’t think he foresaw the virus, but maybe something told him to avoid the more crowded times. Now, if that “something” could just remind him that a punishment is forthcoming, maybe he wouldn’t break his rules.