By:
In: BDSM, Mrs Lion Comments, Orgasm denial

It is a very hot day here in the PNW (Pacific NorthWest), as they say. We’re supposed to top 90. When we first moved here, people told us it never goes above 80. They also told us it never snowed on this side of the mountains. The first winter we got snow and the second summer hit 100. Never listen to people.

We are able to keep mostly cool with our fans and portable air conditioners. However, for some reason, they seem to blow directly on Lion all the time. He’s freezing while I’m roasting. It’s really only an issue when we’re playing. I work up a sweat doing things to him and he has trouble staying in the mood if he’s cold. It’s a good thing it doesn’t stay too hot or cold for long around here.

Our compromise last night was to turn off the A/C and turn on the window fan. I got enough air circulation across my back while I sucked him to near orgasm. He was very close. Outside temperature not included, he says the Lion weather is very tropical. Today is day eight (I asked) and he was both disappointed and grateful he hadn’t had an orgasm last night. He likes to wait. I like it when he’s very horny. I guess it all works out fine.

I didn’t feel like doing any anal stuff last night so I asked Lion if he had any requests. He wondered what I was thinking. I suggested tying his balls up. I wasn’t really surprised when he agreed to that. I can usually count on him to want something tied up.

I’m not sure if either of us will want to do anal tonight either. Eventually, I guess we’ll have to, but I think you really have to be in the mood to do it and to receive it. I’m not pushing. As long as we come up with other things to do, we can do a la carte.

By:
In: Oral Sex, Lion's Journal

Various women, including Mrs. Lion, have told me that they like putting my soft cock in their mouths and feel it as it gets hard. Obviously, I like that too — a lot. It is a feeling of power for the woman. She can make me change physically just by the simple act of holding my penis in her mouth. Oral sex gives the woman, at least temporarily, control of sex for her partner.

The first woman I had sex with commented on that sense of power. Before then it never occurred to me. Is oral sex the first form of orgasm control a couple enjoys? The male has a lot of control over his arousal and ejaculation during intercourse. If he is getting a handjob, he can always take over. But when his penis is ensconced securely in his partner’s mouth, she is in charge. She can slow down, stop, speed up, and finally push him over the edge. He is powerless.

Before Mrs. Lion, when my penis entered my partner’s mouth, a very happy ending was assured. I would usually finish in her mouth. A few times she might take me out of her mouth and finish with her hand. Or, she might have me enter her and finish in her vagina. One way or another, an oral start assured an ejaculatory finish.

Then, along came Mrs. Lion. As my keyholder, she has sexual control wherever my penis is residing. For a long time, she would only suck my cock if she intended to let me ejaculate in her mouth. She loves that. At some point, she decided that she could tease me to the edge as well with her mouth as she could with her hand.

The first few times she tried, I managed to ejaculate. Eventually, she learned my warning signs and was able to edge me as efficiently with her mouth as she could with her hand. That’s when a blow job stopped being the signal for a happy ending. She starts and stops leaving me panting and sweating.

So far she hasn’t waited until I get soft to resume sucking. I suppose that she is too impatient for that. Being in sexual control means she can bring me from soft to hard in her mouth as many times as she wants in a single session. It will be slow because I tend to stay hard a while after being pushed to the edge. I don’t know why I even thought of that idea. It is pretty impractical.

I’ll bet that very few women realize how close oral sex is to male chastity. The only difference is time. With oral sex, the wait between wanting an orgasm and getting one is brief. With male chastity, it’s much, much longer. I think it’s the same thing despite that difference. In both cases, the male is desperate for an orgasm. He has no ability to bring it on. He must wait until his partner decides to let him come. She is in charge and most of the time she knows it and likes it.

There’s a good chance that she might enjoy more extended control. What do you think?

By:
In: Spanking, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Lion annoyed me a few times in the past few days. He asked if he’d be punished. I said he probably should be. Sometimes I think it’s more trouble than it’s worth to punish him for annoying me. It seems more annoying to punish him than the annoyance that created it. But, I agreed to it so last night I whomped him.

split rubber spanking paddle
This is the heavy rubber split paddle (tawse). You can see some of the damage it did.

I used a rubber paddle with a split-tip. It wasn’t the one I was looking for. I was after the rubber paddle with the bigger head, but I found the split one first. Any port in a storm.

We’ve been trying to figure out why Lion bleeds when I swat him. He never used to bleed unless I hit him long and hard. I know I’m hitting harder, in general, but he bleeds more quickly than I think he should. Last night he put a pillow under him to see if that would help. If by “help” he meant would it make him bleed more, then mission accomplished. Normally he bleeds first on his right cheek and not on his left. His left is usually folded just under his cheek so he’ll get red on either side of the crease and a white stripe down the middle. Last night he bled first on the left side. It’s like we can’t win with the bleeding. [Lion — There is a pimple there that bled earlier in the day when I scratched it.]

Aside from the obvious breaking of skin, bleeding is not something I’m looking for because I can’t tell how red his buns are. Is he really that red or is it just the blood being transferred from the paddle? Unless I keep a wet cloth nearby to wipe him off, I just see red. The other issue is splatter. I felt some splatter hit my leg last night. That’s less of a problem than spreading blood on the carpet and other hard to clean areas. I didn’t actually see any blood on me, but I did feel it. It can get messy if I’m not careful.

I haven’t asked him this morning, but I doubt he feels any residual effects from being spanked. He rarely does. I know he was screaming into the comforter, but that’s not necessarily an indicator of his feeling it the next day. Some paddles just hurt more than others but don’t leave a lasting impression. I’m not necessarily going for bruises or even pain the next day. My job is to make it something he’ll work to avoid. I hope I’ve been doing a good job of that.

[Lion — She is!]

By:
In: Punishment, Domestic discipline, Lion's Journal

Mrs. Lion growled at me on Thursday night and again on Friday. I asked if I had earned a spanking and was told I had. She was too tired on Friday night and told me that I would be spanked soon. She also said the spanking would reflect the two offenses. I suppose it’s my own fault for asking her if I had punishment coming. I want to be sure that we get past the inertia covering enforcing annoying my lioness. Perhaps we are on our way.

The other day I mentioned a Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC) saying, “The more it hurts him, the more he will love you.” It has been on my mind. The DWC context is a clear encouragement for wives whose husbands asked for their discipline. It isn’t easy to hurt someone you love. It took Mrs. Lion years to learn to spank me strongly enough to be meaningful.

I don’t think I am in any danger of her becoming abusive. She understands what works for me in terms of spanking. I don’t always agree with her assessment. I shouldn’t. By definition, if I am comfortable with the level of spanking I receive, it most certainly means that it is too mild to be useful. The entire point of punishment, even adult, husband punishment is to hurt enough to effectively deter future wrongdoing.

As for loving her more as the pain increased, I don’t think so. I also don’t love her less because she makes my bottom sore. After being punished, I am much more aware of how I am acting. I want to avoid another spanking.

When the enforcement is new, like annoying Mrs. Lion, I realize that I will get frequent spankings. It will take me time to learn what I have to change and internalize those changes. Here is where a slight modification of the DWC saying makes sense: “The more you make him hurt, the faster he will improve.”

We have learned this over the years. Each time Mrs. Lion became more consistent with punishing me, I learned. As her spankings got more painful, I learned more quickly. I’m not trying to explain why this works with me. I like to consider myself fairly smart and capable of learning without a paddle to help. Apparently, when it comes to habitual behaviors, I’m not.

Just as important, when the paddle is used, Mrs. Lion doesn’t hold on to negative feelings. She appears to get a sense of closure when she beats me. We clean the slate and hopefully, I also will avoid repeating my sin.

If I do repeat it, Mrs. Lion doesn’t feel helpless and angry. She has recourse; painful recourse. She knows that if she consistently punishes me, I will learn. In the meantime, she knows she is being heard. Don’t underestimate that. It means a lot to unmistakably know you are being heard. That may be one of the big reasons she missed our domestic discipline when we temporarily suspended it after my surgery.