It’s Not About Spanking As Much As About Being Heard

Mrs. Lion growled at me on Thursday night and again on Friday. I asked if I had earned a spanking and was told I had. She was too tired on Friday night and told me that I would be spanked soon. She also said the spanking would reflect the two offenses. I suppose it’s my own fault for asking her if I had punishment coming. I want to be sure that we get past the inertia covering enforcing annoying my lioness. Perhaps we are on our way.

The other day I mentioned a Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC) saying, “The more it hurts him, the more he will love you.” It has been on my mind. The DWC context is a clear encouragement for wives whose husbands asked for their discipline. It isn’t easy to hurt someone you love. It took Mrs. Lion years to learn to spank me strongly enough to be meaningful.

I don’t think I am in any danger of her becoming abusive. She understands what works for me in terms of spanking. I don’t always agree with her assessment. I shouldn’t. By definition, if I am comfortable with the level of spanking I receive, it most certainly means that it is too mild to be useful. The entire point of punishment, even adult, husband punishment is to hurt enough to effectively deter future wrongdoing.

As for loving her more as the pain increased, I don’t think so. I also don’t love her less because she makes my bottom sore. After being punished, I am much more aware of how I am acting. I want to avoid another spanking.

When the enforcement is new, like annoying Mrs. Lion, I realize that I will get frequent spankings. It will take me time to learn what I have to change and internalize those changes. Here is where a slight modification of the DWC saying makes sense: “The more you make him hurt, the faster he will improve.”

We have learned this over the years. Each time Mrs. Lion became more consistent with punishing me, I learned. As her spankings got more painful, I learned more quickly. I’m not trying to explain why this works with me. I like to consider myself fairly smart and capable of learning without a paddle to help. Apparently, when it comes to habitual behaviors, I’m not.

Just as important, when the paddle is used, Mrs. Lion doesn’t hold on to negative feelings. She appears to get a sense of closure when she beats me. We clean the slate and hopefully, I also will avoid repeating my sin.

If I do repeat it, Mrs. Lion doesn’t feel helpless and angry. She has recourse; painful recourse. She knows that if she consistently punishes me, I will learn. In the meantime, she knows she is being heard. Don’t underestimate that. It means a lot to unmistakably know you are being heard. That may be one of the big reasons she missed our domestic discipline when we temporarily suspended it after my surgery.

What do you think?