Merry Christmas! Santa Lion was good to me this year. While Mrs. Lion and I didn’t have a tree this Christmas — no kids around and too much unpacking to do — it didn’t stop us from enjoying the holiday spirit. On Monday night we had leftover Chinese takeout. When we get Chinese food, we always get a little more than we need plus an extra container of wonton soup.
It was a little chilly in the kitchen, so I had a T-shirt on. Big mistake! As you know, I’m not the neatest eater. It didn’t take me long to splash some soup on my shirt. To my dismay, a stain appeared. Mrs. Lion gave me that special look that means she noticed and I’m in trouble.
Sure enough, after dinner, Mrs. Lion invited me into the bathroom. She had thoroughly lathered up her hands. She told me open my mouth and soaped the inside of it very thoroughly. Then she inserted a bar of soap (one of her stubs) and told me to bite. I did.
It felt like hours as I stood over the sink, white foam dripping from my chin. Fortunately, the Dove hypoallergenic soap is almost tasteless. So it wasn’t very bad having a mouth full of it. The only problem came after it had been in my mouth for a while. It started to burn.
We’ve had this problem before with keeping soap in my mouth too long. Soap, even gentle soap, is alkaline and can burn the delicate lining of the mouth if left inside too long. We’ve learned that 10 minutes is a safe-but-effective length of time to savor soapy flavor. I think it might be a good idea for Mrs. Lion to select a more flavored soap. I suppose it would be safe to go back to the dreaded Ivory Soap so long as my duration is kept to 10 minutes or less. I’m famous for offering suggestions that make things worse for me. I don’t know why I keep doing it.
Anyway, Monday night had a full program of lion fun. Following the not-so-pleasant mouth soaping, we went directly to a session of anal training. I can’t tell what Mrs. Lion is doing back there. I can only tell that it feels full and hurts a little. She’s gotten very good at keeping the pain level low while expanding my horizons, so to speak. She told me that she got four fingers in all the way to her knuckles as well as some of her thumb. This is much more than I have taken before.
In all things Lion, it’s clear that the trick is consistency and persistence. When Mrs. Lion tells me to get on my knees for anal training, I’ve learned that she will use me until I reach a point that satisfies her for the session. It’s not about what I want anymore. I may have suggested doing this, but that’s the end of my involvement. After that, my role is to get in position and docilely accept whatever Mrs. Lion wishes to do.
My role as the docile recipient extends to pleasure too. Since I began having trouble getting to the edge, Mrs. Lion has decided that sexual stimulation no longer includes automatic edging. Now, like her anal activities, she stimulates my penis until she decides she’s done. If it means that I get an orgasm, that’s fine with her. If it means that I just get very aroused and frustrated, that’s even better. The point is that while these activities are for my benefit, they are completely at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. I no longer have a vote in how long or how much I get. I should just consider myself lucky that I get attention at all.
The best gift this year, and every other year for almost 2 decades, is Mrs. Lion’s love. This past year has been the most difficult in my life. Thanks to my spinal surgery and glaucoma coming together, I’ve lost considerable ability to do things I’ve taken for granted all my life. Mrs. Lion has taken wonderful care of me. She’s had to shoulder substantially more work than she normally does. She has done it without complaint. She’s done everything necessary to keep me healthy and happy.
She’s also learned how to effectively deal with me as my disciplining wife. Her increasing assumption of control, especially in terms of the things she does for me, is teaching me how to be more docile. I’ve learned that I can provide input, but it’s largely ignored when things are happening. This is a wonderful gift. It’s exactly what I need, even if it isn’t what I like at the time.
You’d think that activities like anal training would be just fun BDSM. It’s much more than that for me. Aside from being something that I like, it’s also a way of teaching me to submit. Now that Mrs. Lion has assumed full control, the time I spend simply accepting what she wants to give is very satisfying.
I think it’s important to get past labels. I am not just “a submissive”. I don’t think there is any such thing anyway. It’s far more complicated than that. I’m feeling great emotional satisfaction in surrendering. It didn’t feel like real surrender when I could call the shots. Yes, Mrs. Lion could withhold orgasms as long as she wished, but I did set the ground rules. I expected to be edged every time she played with my penis. Similarly, I expected anal training to end when it got a bit uncomfortable. I expected to be able to tell her I wasn’t in the mood to do it on a given day and she would put away the toys.
She believed that since the play was for my benefit, I should be able to decide whether or not we did it at any given time. I should also be able to decide when I’ve had enough. I think she finally understands that that isn’t the point. I may say I want anal training and she may agree to do it. My hope was that once she agreed, everything else was completely out of my hands.
Now, she gets out her gloves, lube, and toys; then tells me to get on my knees. She no longer gives me an opportunity to tell her I’m not in the mood. It’s not about my mood, it’s about the availability of my butt for training. This is exactly the way I hoped things would go. I think this is the beginning of lioness 4.0. What a wonderful Christmas gift!