Well, she did it. I got my mouth soaped Friday night. I was owed that because I forgot punishment day last Monday, I think. These delayed punishments make it hard for me to understand what I did wrong. (After I dictated that last sentence, I paused and reminded Mrs. Lion that today – Saturday – is punishment day.) I also let her know that the deep bruise I got when I missed the dismount from the massage table has healed. That makes me available once again, for spanking. I believe I am owed four. I’m not looking forward to them.

Lioness 3.0 is a lot stricter with her mouth soaping. It’s been a challenge to adapt childhood punishments to be effective on an adult. She’s succeeded. Oh boy, has she! She started by rubbing her soaped-up hands all over the inside of my mouth. She didn’t miss a spot. Then one of her small soap slivers, that she keeps in a jar by the sink, was inserted in my mouth. I was told to hold it between my teeth. I remained that way standing over the sink, looking into the mirror and watching the foamy, soapy water dripping out of my mouth onto my chest and the sink.

It felt like this was going on forever. I wondered if I was going to get chemical burns from the alkaline soap. Eventually, Mrs. Lion returned to the bathroom and removed the soap from my mouth. She told me I could rinse and I took a couple cupsful of water swishing around my mouth to try to get the soap out. I got most of it, but an aftertaste remained for hours. Mrs. Lion informed me that next time she was going to also have me brush my teeth with soap. Nothing like good dental hygiene, I imagine.

After she had put the bar of soap in my mouth, I noticed that I was starting to get an erection. I don’t know what my damn penis was thinking; I wasn’t having any fun. Clearly, it disagreed. I hoped it would get small again before Mrs. Lion returned. I didn’t want her to get the idea that I enjoyed what she did to me.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she gave me an orgasm as well as a mouth soaping on Friday night. She started out jerking me off. It felt very good, at least in the beginning. She was slowly moving her hand and I was humping to help her along. Then she speeded up, which also felt good for a while. She changed up again. I’m not sure what that change was. Maybe she switched hands. In any case, I felt myself losing some of the interest I had earlier. I figured that maybe if she used some lube, it would feel better. So I asked her if she could use some lube or something else that was wet (Yes, I was thinking a blow job would be nice.). She elected to use her mouth.

Mrs. Lion gives most excellent blow jobs. It wasn’t long before I felt myself moving closer and closer to the edge. I wondered if she was going to stop or let me come. She elected to go all the way. Wise lioness.

Friday was both a lot of fun and a very uncomfortable adventure with soap in my mouth. For the next few days, every night is going to be a combination of pain and pleasure. If she can get me to the edge, there will also be frustration as well.

Based on what she wrote in her post yesterday, I think Mrs. Lion is going to readjust her sentencing guidelines. Apparently, some of the less serious offenses will earn only a single spanking. I imagine that annoying her or disobeying will earn more.

It’s taken us quite a while, but we’ve finally gotten to the point that both of us understand our roles in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline. Mrs. Lion didn’t just have to learn how to give an effective spanking. She also had to learn how to be in charge. Both skills have a long learning curve.

When it comes to administering punishment, Mrs. Lion understands what it takes to make me sorry for what I did. I’m not assuming that she isn’t going to increase the intensity of her spankings. If I were her, I would. It’s that they’ve reached the point where I know I don’t want to get one. This is coming from a guy who has always wanted to be spanked. Now I’m a guy who still likes to be spanked, but not the way Mrs. Lion punishes me.

You may wonder why I think she will continue increasing the severity of a spanking. The answer’s complex. If she continues at the same level she is at now, there is no question that she is sending the message she intends. If she uses this as a starting point for effective punishment, every increase in intensity will assure her that I will work even harder to avoid spending time with her paddle.

I’m learning something that a lot of people learned as children. I really think about the cost of breaking a rule. For example, on Saturday, when I am writing this post, I mentioned the punishment I received Friday night. That reminded me that today, Saturday, is punishment day. I put my post writing on pause and made sure I reminded Mrs. Lion that today is punishment day. The reason I didn’t stick it into a mental to do list and continue writing was that I felt truly afraid of getting yet another painful session with Mrs. Lion and her trusty paddle. It’s beginning to work as a true deterrent.

I’ve wrestled with the difficult combination of my BDSM interests and real punishment. In my research on the web, I noticed that I’m not unusual in that respect. There is definitely a wish to be submissive, in some areas of life, that prompts me and other men to work with our wives to set up a disciplinary marriage.

That worried me at first. I wondered if I wasn’t just working on setting up BDSM scenes to satisfy my desire to be spanked. I know of couples who do this. They sometimes use punishment scenarios. After all, they’re very hot. I suppose there’s always a bit of an element that in a domestic discipline marriage. I suppose people who grew up in the DD environment wouldn’t have any sexual connection between spanking and punishment. To them it would be pure pain and unhappiness. They also would be very unlikely to share their experiences because to them, it is a normal part of daily life.

To people like us who haven’t grown up in families where one of our parents was spanked, the practice is a combination of BDSM sexualization and true domestic discipline. The trick is, I think, to separate the BDSM out of domestic discipline so that it can be effective as true punishment. That’s why my spankings need to be very strong and strict. For our disciplinary relationship to be successful, I have to understand without a shadow of a doubt that punishment isn’t sexually interesting, and is something to be avoided at all costs. We are approaching that level now. Mrs. Lion has learned to be dispassionate about my suffering. She is beginning to understand that is what I need if I am to learn the lesson she is teaching.

This is difficult for her. She doesn’t like hurting me. She has to learn that the more she inflicts serious pain to my bottom, the more effective she is as my disciplining wife. I’m very proud of her because she is understanding this and beginning to put it into practice.

What makes this confusing to people who read about our marriage, is that we are just as committed to being loving and sexual. This is pretty difficult for us, especially Mrs. Lion. When needed, she has to be the strict disciplinarian who is completely uninterested about how unhappy her punishments make me. The rest of the time she is my loving wife who takes care of me and works hard to keep me happy.

She does both very well. This combination of strict disciplinarian and very loving, caring wife, strongly encourages me to be obedient and loving so that she can avoid becoming the strict disciplinarian. She isn’t happy when she has to take on that role. The stricter and more intense she is when she does, makes me work harder to avoid putting your into that unpleasant mode. I have to admit I’m very surprised that this works very well. In fact, it may be why we both missed the disciplinary part of our marriage when it had to be suspended.

The sort of relationship we have could be considered old-fashioned. In the past, one spouse was in charge and enforced his or her authority with painful punishments. Nowadays, most people think that sort of thing was exploitive, brutal, unfair, or other negative adjectives. I don’t think it occurred to anyone that this combination of sweet-and-sour, painful and loving, happy and sad actually works better than just a sort of emotionally level life. I think there’s an inherent stability when authority is given to one partner and that partner can enforce her role with physical punishment.

In any case, to both of our surprise, this works very well for us. Our happy marriage became even happier. There is a sense of balance that we didn’t even realize was missing before. I for one, am very happy we’ve started this and even happier that we are growing in this lifestyle.


  1. There has to be a difference in the sexual enjoyment of a spanking and the disciplinary aspect in order for the discipline to be effective. Discipline has to be pain inducing of some kind.. Example is harsh spankings , soap in mouth. writing sentences, etc. For me sitting still and writing is punishment. writing the sentence 1000 times i will not forget to wait until Mistress allows me to sit at the table for dinner time whether at home or in a restaurant..
    Glad you have a happy marriage that is best on love and that you both communicate your needs and desires.
    Thank You for sharing your lifestyle.

    1. Author

      I’m incredibly lucky. Mrs. Lion has indeed worked out effective punishments. She was always good at rewards.

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