By:
In: Spanking, Male Control (training), Mrs Lion Comments

Lion’s butt was even more bruised after last night’s spanking. I was trying to avoid a spot he said was sore and I wound up bruising him toward the bottom of his cheek, onto his upper thigh. I wasn’t sure it would be visible in the picture I took but it was. I think it’s the right call to do the swats every other day rather than the suggested every day. Lion needs a little time to recover. Although, when I started spanking him Friday night, he still had the remnants of a bruise. It was yellowish so I knew it was almost gone. I’ll check him again for bruises before I swat him tomorrow. I don’t want to add bruises on top of bruises. That’s not safe. I could do damage if I don’t allow the area to recuperate.

Earlier in the day, Lion said he was horny. After a good beating he still was. I promise I set off to edge him. The plan was to edge him multiple times and then lock him up again. Unfortunately, I went too far. He had another ruined orgasm and he wasn’t able to have multiple ruined orgasms again. I’m starting to think it’s not possible. I don’t know if Lion just doesn’t work that way or if age is a factor. I suppose it could also have something to do with lack of play other than spanking, which isn’t really play. Perhaps I’d need to get Lion very horny in order for it to work. I just don’t know.

The other day I said the goal is to get Lion to take 300 swats with no break. I don’t think that’s realistic. Not only for him, but for me either. I think the reason this experiment is working so well is that I get the same breaks Lion gets. It’s true, I’m not trying to compose myself after receiving hard swats, but I am not in shape. I can’t deliver very many swats at a time. We’re both working our way up to 300 swats. Actually, I think Lion can probably take 100-150 swats non-stop. Eventually. The trick is going to be whether or not I can deliver them. I’m sure it will take us a long time to get to that point anyway. We may decide to scrap the experiment before we get there. We might find something else that sounds better. We’re always amending things. It’s what we do.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal, Spanking
lion's butt on jan 4 2019
Last night’s “experiment”. 15 swats per group, 300 total. Paddle with holes. You can see the damage the holes did, especially on the right cheek.
(Click image to view larger)

Neither of us is very fantasy oriented. From the very beginning, our approach to FLR has been more practical. The latest evidence of this is Mrs. Lion’s spanking experiment. It’s a no-frills attempt to train me to accept a severe disciplinary spanking. It’s administered in an impersonal, unemotional way. I lie facedown across the bed, Mrs. Lion takes up her position standing next to me, and without ceremony begins administering fast punishing swats.

one cheek sized paddle
Mrs. Lion’s “experiment” paddle.
(Click image to view larger)

Actual punishment is administered in much the same way. When she remembers, she’ll remind me what I did wrong, but more often just wails away.

It could be that this lack of drama is one of the stumbling blocks she faces when trying to punish me for upsetting her. The fact that there’s never been any emotional content to our FLR has to make it feel odd for her to punish me for something emotional. Mrs. Lion, by nature is a logical woman. She’s had a lifetime of training suppressing her feelings. In a way, it’s unfair of me to expect her to not only let me know when she’s upset, but to punish me for upsetting her.

That doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Her track record at adapting to new situations is excellent. If you think about it, her current spanking  experiment provides her with the mechanism to approach corporal punishment with impunity. She’s replacing emotional reaction to an offense with objective observation of my ability to handle the beating she is giving me.

To her credit, she soldiers on even when she sees a few drops of blood appear on my bottom. She set a goal of being able to administer 300 swats in rapid succession without pause. She wrote in her post yesterday that she intends to continue until I reach that goal. She hasn’t asked my opinion about this. Of course, she shouldn’t.

I think she’s been successful so far. I can’t take any credit for the success. I’ve been informed that we will continue until I can hold still for the full 300. The sooner I manage this, the less pain I’ll have to suffer. She’s provided me with a very good incentive to push myself as hard as I can. Essentially, it’s no skin off her nose if it takes a month or year. It’s a lot of skin off my butt. Clearly, my ass is on the line. This is as it should be. Maybe other dominant women should consider offering spanking lessons to their men. Why should I be the only one to suffer?

Perhaps Mrs. Lion can come up with an experiment designed to increase her interest in sex. I imagine it would have a painful component for me if she doesn’t feel her progress is adequate. This is potentially the sexual equivalent of our football game.

The reason I’m thinking this way is that apparently the most powerful incentive for me is to minimize damage to my hindquarters. The sooner I learn to take 300 rapid swats, the sooner the every-other-day spankings will stop. Similarly, perhaps painful spanking will result if I can’t help Mrs. Lion make sexual progress.

By that, I mean if she fails to get aroused, I get a sore butt. Once again my incentive is to help her reach her goal. I have the positive incentive of wanting to see her act of sexually and the equally powerful negative incentive wanting to be able to sit down without pain.

Doesn’t it seem to you that we both are comfortable using spanking as a motivator for me? I’m fine with that. Time and again it’s proven an effective way to condition me. Each time I’m spanked, I think Mrs. Lion’s confidence increases. It’s a real win-win for us.

I don’t think it would work if I simply hated to be spanked. I do feel a sexual component with the idea my butt being warmed. Of course, that nice sexual feeling goes away almost immediately when the paddle starts working on me. That doesn’t matter. The sexual interest, no matter how fleeting, motivates me to put myself in harm’s way.

I don’t know if this would work for other people. It requires both giver and receiver to be willing to engage in spanking anytime the agreed activity prescribes it. It has to be an unavoidable consequence to work. It has to be sufficiently painful to be a meaningful motivator. Starting to sound a bit like punishment, isn’t it? Of course it’s not, but it’s not play either.

Mrs. Lion’s spanking experiment isn’t just a game. It’s a commitment with a stated goal. We both know the goal and I know the beatings will continue until I reach it. If we apply the same rules to sex, the spankings will go on until Mrs. Lion actually wants to have an orgasm.

Maybe it’s too much to spank me if I can’t get her aroused at the same time I’m being spanked as part of my training. I hesitate to say it, but the head of my penis is also a valid spanking target. I really hate being hit there. A nasty number of swats to the head of my penis is every bit as strong a motivator as 300 swats to my ass. I’m pretty sure I can’t hold still for very many penis swats. Of course, Mrs. Lion knows how to overcome that. I’m not suggesting she start another experiment on my penis similar to the one on my ass. But she could administer the prescribed number of penis swats in groups as a way to keep me in position.

There’s a sort of irony in using penis swats to motivate me to work on getting her aroused. In a way it’s saying that if she can’t get excited she’s going to do something to make sure I can’t either.

Anyway, just an idea. In the meantime I’m only up to 15 swats in a row in her spanking experiment. Getting to 300 is quite a few sore bottoms away.

By:
In: Spanking, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Pardon the pun. I don’t mean Lion’s end but it does deal with it indirectly. Comments to Lion’s post “300 Blows” wonder what punishment will look like now that we’ve embarked on a new experiment. I don’t know. I haven’t thought about punishment since we started. If our goal is to do swats every night, punishment seems redundant. Or overkill. What possible good could come of additional swats? Sure, they’d hurt more but at some point they’d be a waste.

I mentioned to Lion last night at dinner that the next step is bursts of twenty swats. He doesn’t think he can handle twenty at a time yet. Fair enough. We can stick with fifteen. I’d planned to increase the number each time but there’s no sin in holding at a certain number until he can go on. He’ll still get 300 swats. And, by the way, there’s no magic in 300 swats. When I started off, it seemed like I’d hit him ten times when I gave him a break. I continued with sets of ten. 200 seemed like too few. 300 got his butt red. I hadn’t thought about increasing to fifteen or twenty swats. I was just trying to keep track. There really was no method to the madness. There’s absolutely no reason I couldn’t continue with bursts of ten swats and increase to 350 total. Or 400 total.

Lion suggested increasing the amount of swats in each burst. I was just looking to maintain some constants so I could track his progress. It seemed rational enough to keep 300. I also wanted to use the same paddle. It wasn’t until the second burst of fifteen that I realized I changed that too. Oops. I’ll go back to the other paddle next time.

Every time I spank him I should be able to see if he’s taking it well. That’s why I don’t think it’s a big deal for him to ask to stay at fifteen. If I think he’s cruising along at fifteen with no problem, I’ll increase to twenty the next time. If he’s having difficulty at fifteen, we’ll stay there longer. My goal is not to make it so he can’t handle it and I have to start over. I want Lion to succeed. I want to be able to give him 300 swats in a row and have him stay still. That may be a pipe dream, but that’s the ultimate goal.

[Lion — This still doesn’t answer the question about how to handle punishment while Mrs. Lion’s experiment continues. Maybe something other than spanking is appropriate in the meantime. Or, a second, punishment spanking on days when I earn one could also work. I have no idea what to suggest. This experiment won’t go on forever.]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

I was wrong; not totally wrong, but wrong enough. I wrote that severe spankings were wired to my penis and made me easier to arouse. On Wednesday night, that theory was, at least, partially disproved. About an hour after my 300 blows, I asked if we could snuggle. Mrs. Lion agreed. After the usual snuggles, Mrs. Lion sat up and I prepared to be masturbated.

This time, she surprised me. She reached behind her and grabbed a Ziploc bag. Inside were wooden clothespins.

“You said that we don’t do anything different,” she said.

I groaned. She then put clothespins on each of my nipples.

“I wasn’t going to do that, but your groan made me put them on your boobies.”

Arrrgh!

She then proceeded to put clothespins on my scrotum and perineum. She knows just where it hurts the most. Then, she started to jerk me off. As she masturbated me, she played with some of the pins and pulled others off. Eventually they were all gone and she continued jerking me off. I kept getting more and more excited, but well before reaching the edge I plateaued. I just couldn’t get any more aroused. I told Mrs. Lion and she let me know it was okay. She lay down next to me and we snuggled some more.

I’m convinced that my spanking short-circuited my ability to get to orgasm. This happens now and then — I just can’t get past a certain point of arousal — Mrs. Lion stops playing with me and we go about our daily lives as usual.

It’s impossible for me to say that the spanking caused this issue. I expected to be hotter than usual. While it was difficult to handle the spanking, it was something I wanted. From my past experience in BDSM. I know that strongly desired stimulus will sometimes temporarily interfere with sexual arousal. I’m not concerned about what happened on Wednesday night.

Some people are wondering why I want Mrs. Lion to develop the ability to give me severe disciplinary spankings. It seems counter intuitive that I encourage her to hurt me in this way. I don’t think it’s unusual. Other men, and for that matter women, want the loss of control that a severe spanking invokes.

I’m also frustrated that as a couple we want to use spanking as a real form of punishment, yet find ourselves unable to even approach the intensity required to do this. If you’ve been reading our blog for some time, you know that we’ve tried lots of tricks to sneak up on severe spanking. Until now none of them worked. I think I understand where we went wrong.

There are two sets of responses to being spanked. The first set occurs during the initial swats. The pain is sharp and nearly unbearable. That’s why, when Mrs. Lion started swinging hard and fast I rolled away after a relatively short time. What we are doing now is functionally no different. However, I am aware that the burst of hard, fast, spanks will stop after a certain number have been delivered. That allows me to bear up and struggle to accept the pain I know will stop at the end of the set.

I’m given some time to recover after each burst. That short time allows some of the acute distress to modulate and allows me to physically settle myself back in place for the next set. I’m able to do this after each burst. The reason this works for me is that I’m learning to make it to the other end of the pain tunnel. My mind is building strength controlling the instinctive need to flee.

It’s not that these short rest periods reduce the pain. It’s more that they give me an opportunity to get control of myself. The objective of these exercises is to allow me to learn to stay in position through a constant barrage of fast, very hard swats. So far, the training appears to be working.

Mrs. Lion is learning to extend her limits in terms of ferocity and duration spanking me. None of this is instinctive to either of us. We are learning a new set of skills. Interestingly, I’m not learning to be more submissive in this case. I’m getting physical training in self-control. Submitting to these training spankings is no indicator of my general submissiveness as a man. The exercises are another form of play spanking. After all, I asked for them.

If we’ve learned anything, we’ve learned that very little of what we do in enforced male chastity and female lead relationships is intuitive. Both of us have a lot of learning to do in order to effectively live these lifestyles. Over the last five years, I think we’ve done a pretty good job getting started. Discipline, has been the most difficult part for us.

It presents two distinct challenges: the first, is for Mrs. Lion to feel entitled to demand behavioral changes of me. Initially, we agreed on rules that she would enforce. That was pretty easy. It was more of a game than a serious part of life. But like the current spanking exercises, we learned a lot.

The hard part, is for Mrs. Lion to enforce changes based on her reaction to my behavior. In this case, I don’t get to agree that the behavior she wishes to change is something I want. She’s the boss, and is entitled to demand any behavior she wishes. Further, she has the absolute right to punish me for not meeting her expectations.

This is a very difficult challenge for her. She is the sole arbiter of what’s right and wrong for me. That’s tough for anyone. It’s particularly hard for her. I think she’s finally moving in the direction of becoming my disciplining wife. Last week, I got spanked for being snarky about her daughter. I’m not going to go out of my way to do things to provoke her, but I hope she becomes more observant and punishes me for even trivial offenses.

This is the emotional equivalent of our spanking exercises. While it may not be entirely fair to hold me accountable for very small things, it’s absolutely necessary to do it in order to build the chops she needs to become an effective disciplinarian. It’s also critical for me. I need to learn how to be more sensitive to her feelings. She isn’t very good at expressing them right now. However, if she resolves to express them via her paddle, we’ll both learn an important new emotional language.

A great deal of what we do could be considered BDSM play. I’m okay with that. Even our spanking exercises could fall into that category. Certainly punishing me for spilling food on my shirt is less serious disciplinary behavior then BDSM play, but that’s okay. It’s training.

As I see it, our goal is for Mrs. Lion to be able to let me know any time my behavior upsets her; even over small things. I’d like to see it become second nature to her. On my side, I need to be able to gracefully accept painful and humiliating punishments. If we’re going to move out of BDSM into real punishment, severity and general unpleasantness has to increase. For that to happen, I have to be able to accept it without protest or avoidance.

You may not agree with this direction. I’m sure a lot of the world doesn’t. I’m also sure that once we work through our baby steps, the way we practice this will be sane and very loving.